Shout out to
His smooth hands wrapped around my waist while his rough lips placed sweet kisses upon my pale face. My heart skipped a beat as we tangled our legs together, entwining our hands in the process.
"Marylin, Dear" Ed whispered, his morning breath hitting my face.
"Ed, Dear" I cooed back. Ed squeezed my hips and grinned at me. "What would you like for breakfast?" I asked, bringing his face closer to mine.
Ed thought for a brief moment.
"Hmm. How about you?" Ed whispered faintly, straddling me. As he hovered over me Ed kissed my neck, face and lips playfully. Causing me to go into fits of giggles. I eventually tore him off, Ed whimpering at the loss of contact.
"C'mon, lets get up! We have all this weekend to relax until you're back to gig after gig on the weekdays! I couldn't imagine what I tour would feel like!" Ed chucked lightly, his eyes grew dark. I shot up from bed, dragging Ed along with me to the kitchen.
I heated the stove, messing with the knobs. I brought out a pan and spatula along with my handy dandy cake mix.
"I wonder when you'll get tired of eating my pancakes " I joked, turning back to see Ed staring off in the distance. "Babe?"
Ed jumped, startled.
It's been about 2 months since the accident and about a week or two after that Eds been constantly spacing out and acting nervous frequently. But when he's not spacing out or pacing he's treating me like a princess.
Part of me thinks it's the memories of the accident but the other half of me thinks it's pure guilt.
Ed and I go out frequently, on dinner dates, to the park and sometimes to his local gigs.
Fans then didn't seem to think too much of me but since the accident I haven't been the 'Fan Favorite'
Recently, the more we go out some fans have not exactly to a liking to me.
Some say I don't fit his look, or I'm simply in it for the money.
I recently got a twitter, Ed's idea. And what I see used to really hurt me, and Ed could back that up, but recently I brush it off. It's really nothing that bad but Ed doesn't see that.
'#SherriosHateSluts' or '@MarylinRussi back the fuck off Ed. Who do you think you are?' And my personal favorite '@MarylinRussi you're such a little slut. Ed isn't just looking for a good time'
I feel like Eds hurting from the hate I receive, but it's like all I get is hate. Most of his fans really do like me.
Something I don't think I'm really used to is being asked for my autograph and my picture taken.
Around the time I met Ed is around the time his career really took off! His hit 'The A Team' has place high in the charts in all different countries and we recently took a trip to New York. Ed played At Madison Garden! He even sung with One Direction! We recently just got back and I had the time of my life! I've never been out of England before!
Ed and I snuck off secretly into the town, enjoying the scenery and life of New York. It was a beautiful time.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*flashback
"Ed, take you hands off if my eyes! I really wanna see where you're taking me!" I pouted. Ed chuckled, kissing my cheek from behind me.
"Almost there! Calm down" Ed soothed. We continued walking for what seems like forever until Ed came to a brisk and sudden halt.
I heard Ed breath in and exhale deeply.
"Ok, 1, 2, 3...and-!" Ed revealed the scenery before me. What layout was our pent house balcony decorated with twinkle lights, candles lit everywhere and sky blue blanket place upon the balcony floor, on too of it was our favorite foods, Eds new guitar, Beer and paper with words scribbled down.
Ed led me to the blanket, and sat down before me. I slowly removed the hands that were placed over my mouth and wiped the tears that were streaming down off my face.
Ed sat in front of me, blushing mad.
"Ed" I gasped out. "You did this...for me?" He simply nodded and smiled.
"Out of love of course" he grabbed my hands and played with my fingers.
"I thought you wouldn't like it" He mumbled.
"I love it!" I cried. "Couldn't you tell?!" I pulled him in for a kiss. "I love you so much" I said, running my hand to his face down to his neck.
"I love you too" Ed returned, pecking my lips.
"No ones ever been so nice to me, no one has ever done this much for me. I don't know how I would survive without you" I eyed Eds guitar, raising an eyebrow. He placed it on his lap and began to strum it, humming as we gazed at the stars.
"Remember the first time we gazed at the stars together my love?" Ed asked. "I do, it gave me a feeling I wasn't sure I have ever felt before" Ed strummed some more, and I felt more tears run down my face.
"You're perfect, Ed. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here" I murmured.
"I'm not perfect though, you could've done this with or without me" He replied.
"But what matters is that I did it with you" I retorted.
"I suppose you did. But what if, to say, I wasn't there?" Ed questioned.
"But you are" I said quietly. "W-what are you trying to say, sweetie?" I but my lip.
"I just want you to Realize your inner strength. That you did this on your own. You're a strong girl, love" Ed looked into my eyes, I tried to fight the rising tears but failed the battle.
"I'd be a mess if you ever left me. I wouldn't know how to handle myself. As bad as it sounds I think we both know how it'll end. Drugs, sex and harm" I Barley spoke audible words. The strumming on Eds guitar came to a Halt. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. My chest felt heavy, and I began to regret the words I spoke. I felt warm arms wrap around my waist, and pull me up.
My hands instinctively wrapped around Ed's neck and his hands placed themselves around my waist. And smile painted his lips and dried tear stains flushed my cheeks.
"Erm. Well, I never learned to dance but...Marilyn, love, may I have this dance?" Ed spoke quietly. I nodded, I small chuckle let loose from my lips.
Their we stood, slow dancing with no music and surrounded by candles and the beautiful night sky. He leaned down, his lips trailed along my neck as he hummed.
I pushed his head away, longing for the sweet taste of his lips. I placed one hand on his stumbled cheek and the other on his chest. My lips brushed against his, teasing him. I softly bit my lip then licked it, brushing Eds lips the entire process.
"Kiss me" He whispered, practically begged. I gently connected our lips then pulling away slowly. The wind blew hard and goosebumps formed on our skin. Ed leaned in once more and reuniting our lips. We moved in sync, and when I granted permission our tongues danced. I knotted my hands in his ginger hair. The kiss went from passion to lust. The kiss grew stronger and stronger. Eds hands lowered to my bum and lifted me, my legs wrapped around him securely.
Ed lifted me inside, our lips together roughly. Aggressively, Ed slammed me into a wall and sucked my neck. In the mist if pleasure and pain my moans filled the room. I placed my hands in his hair once again and pulled. Ed pulled back and starred into my eyes then glanced to my lips.
I trailed a finger down his neck then followed the trail with my soft lips. I could quietly hear the fast beat of Eds rhythmic heart.
With a sudden jerk I felt is moving once more. I was shoved into Something much more comfortable, a bed.
Ed hovered over me, a hand tangled in my hair and the other slowly sliding down my waist.
I knew exactly where this was going, and I refused to stop.
But Ed did. He pulled away breathless and flushed. I raised an eyebrow at him and he grinned. He slowly leaned into my ear and kissed it.
"I want our first time to be special" Ed whispered.
"A pent house in New York isn't special?" I asked breathlessly.
"Not special enough for you" He replied. Ed lifted me once more into his lap and cuddled into me.
"Love you Marilyn"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*end of flashback😋
I served the the breakfast food just how Ed liked it. I smiled at him as I did so but just as I figured he was space out once more. I dully stared at him and he stay in his blank state. I slammed the fork down onto his plate and he snapped out real fast.
"Ed, I don't know what's going on but the more you space out the more I feel like something wrong"
"Uh, no no, nothings wrong. Just tired"
"Tired? You've been like this for about 2 whole months!"
"You don't understand. Leave it alone"
"No. I refuse to let you keep up with this! What's going on?"
"Nothing"
"Nothing? That's the biggest bullshit I've heard all week" I scoffed and shook my head. "I'm going for a walk. Have fun eating your breakfast alone" I heard a slam and the push out of the chair as I sped walked out of the kitchen.
"Marilyn I don't want to tell you"
"Why the hell not?" I yelled, throwing my hands in the air in defeat.
"It's not good news" Ed mumbled. I clenched my jaw, I felt my chest get heavy and my anxiety rise increasingly. Ed walked over to me and walked me to the car.
The car ride to wherever Ed was driving was silent besides the hum of the engine.
Ed pulled outside the park, we both got out and I followed him to the nearest oak tree. We sat beneath It, no words were spoken.
"I'm leaving" Ed whispered, looking up at the sky.
"Leaving?" I asked, my voice rasp.
"On tour. Five whole months, then a month or so for other things for my career" Ed hugged his knees to his chest.
"You're leaving?" I asked once more, my breath became ragged.
"Yes" He said breathless.
The silence became thick but my sobs broke it. Ed arms wrapped around me but I show no return of affection. Only signs of sadness.
"Remember what I told you back at the pent house?" Ed asked, running soothing circles on my back. I nodded slowly.
"I was trying to give you hints. Prepare you for this moment. I couldn't bring myself to tell you and for that I'm so sorry" Ed squeezed me and I sobbed harder into him.
"When?" I gasped out.
"It was two weeks away starting yesterday" Ed mumbled.
"I hate you so much" I blurted, going limp in his arms. My Crying has stopped and I felt numb. Ed carried me to the car and drove us home. He continued to carry me in the house and into the bedroom. Ed excused himself to tend to Destiny.
Their I lay, numb and torn.
I couldn't be more proud of Ed, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him so. Half of me wanted him to feel guilty for leaving me but the other have of me couldn't me more proud.
He got what he wanted in life and that makes me happy for him, why can't I express that?
I heard the door open and shut slowly. Ed entered the room and lay next to me.
"Still hate me?" Ed asked hesitantly. He brushed hair out of my face.
"I never did" I pouted. A very small grin placed on eds lips.
"Well then you lied"
"And you kept a secret" I retorted.
"Touché" Ed pulled me closer into him, snuggling into my neck.
"I truly am sorry. I should've told you as soon as I got the news. It's just I'm living my dream and I felt so happy but I realized what would happen to us and I just felt so guilty"
When I said nothing Ed pulled me tighter into him.
"You aren't saying anything and that's ok. I just hope you understand his sorry I am. I never intended to hurt you in anyway. I'm terribly sorry, dear"
"I'm proud" I whispered.
"Huh?"
"I'm Not mad or upset or anything. Not anymore. I'm numb feeling and yes I'll be sad when you leave and lonely when you go but I'm proud of you. So proud I could cry...even more" A tear slid down Eds cheek and we both cracked a smile.
"Can we celebrate?" I asked.
"I'll bring the weed and beer" Ed smiled as I playfully slapped him Chest.
"And liquor and vodka. And lots of it!"
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Yes I am alive.
It's christmas break and ill will be uploading a Christmas special chapter or a New Years one. You decide.😘
Thanks for putting up with my lack of updating. Love you guys 😘😘😘😘