LYDIA COULDN'T FALL ASLEEP THAT NIGHT. It didn't really matter that she couldn't—phoenixes only needed a fraction of the amount of sleep humans did, so a few sleepless nights wouldn't do anything.
She just wished the reason behind her sudden insomnia wasn't so awful.
After Jasper dropped her off at her house, she spent a few minutes talking to her mothers before going up to her room for the night, relieved to see Jasper already by her window, his eyes full of concern as he took in her slumped shoulders.
Lydia didn't say a word—instead, she just walked into his arms, letting the tears fall as she hoped beyond hope that her best friend wasn't lost forever.
One sleepless night spent willing herself to believe Jasper's whispered words of comfort later, Lydia went to the reservation to see the pack. Gwen's dad had let Leah know about Gwen's disappearance that morning, and the shifter was as distraught as Lydia, frantic at the thought of Gwen falling victim to the danger infecting Seattle.
Though she hated to, Lydia kept her mouth shut about the Cullens' theories as to what was really happening in Seattle, at least for the time being. Until the Cullens figured out who was behind the army and how to handle the situation, they didn't want the pack to know about it. It was yet another reason she hated the divide between the two worlds, and wished nothing more for the stupid rivalry to never have existed at all.
"I should have gone with her," Leah muttered, glaring at the ground in front of Emily's porch steps. "I could have protected her."
"We don't know that she's hurt," Embry reminded her softly from where he sat next to Lydia, their legs pressing together as he offered her whatever comfort he could. "This could all be a misunderstanding—maybe her car broke down on the side of the road and she hasn't gotten to a phone yet."
Lydia wished she could believe him, but everything she knew about the situation in Seattle and the supernatural dampened her usual optimism. Despite that, she forced herself to nod at Embry's words, hoping Leah would take some comfort in them, even if Lydia couldn't.
Leah looked like she wanted to protest, but she didn't seem to have the energy to refute Embry's words. "Maybe," she echoed faintly, as if trying to make herself believe him.
It had been eighteen hours since Gwen had been heard from, twelve since Lydia's mom called her about it. Every minute that passed without some information or updates on Gwen felt like an eternity.
Lydia had expected to at least get sixty years with Gwen, hopefully more. The idea that she might lose her so suddenly—it was like a nightmare that she couldn't wake up from.
Alice had promised to look for Gwen in her visions, but there was nothing so far. That could have meant a few things—maybe Gwen was unconscious, or maybe she just wasn't making any concrete decisions, or maybe...
Lydia didn't want to even think about the last option.
After a while, Leah left to run off some steam, needing to clear her head as best as she could. Lydia watched her go with sad eyes, seeing her own fear and worry reflected on the girl's face. It was impossible not to see the love Leah felt for Gwen, and how terrifying the thought of losing her was.
"I'd ask if you're okay, but it's kind of a stupid question right now," Embry said softly.
"I can't lose her," she whispered. "I knew I would eventually, but not... not so soon. And not like this."
Embry reached for her hand, squeezing it. "Your boyfriend's sister's psychic, right?" At Lydia's nod, he said, "Then I'm sure she'll be looking high and low for Gwen, just like the rest of us. We just have to stay optimistic."
"Until we have a reason not to be," Lydia murmured, letting slip her immense worry.
Embry conceded with a nod. "But until then," he said, "we quit preemptively mourning Gwen and keep going as best as we can."
It was exactly what Lydia needed to hear. Of course it was—Embry and her were bound by their souls, just as Lydia was bound to Jasper and Gwen.
She'd read somewhere about the idea of people having multiple soulmates in different variations—friends, siblings, lovers, parents. There were some souls that were bound together by the universe itself, souls that sang the same song in slightly different keys. Somehow, Lydia had been lucky enough to find three.
She just prayed she wasn't on the verge of losing one.
✦
After staying on the reservation for a few hours, Lydia just drove for a little while. She didn't have any one destination in mind, but Forks was a small town, and her mind was full of thoughts of Gwen. She was only a little surprised when she found herself in Gwen's driveway, staring up at her empty house.
Gwen's parents and little brother were in Seattle, staying with Gwen's aunt until they got word of what had happened to Gwen. Tracy had offered to take care of the Holloway family cat while they were away, so Lydia shot her mother a text to let her know she'd feed Gizmo for her.
She got the spare key from the flowerbox beneath the window next to the door and walked into the house. Gizmo appeared in an instant, meowing and rubbing up against Lydia's legs as she closed the front door.
"Hey, Gizmo," Lydia murmured, bending down to pick up the fluffy cat. He purred, blissfully unaware of the danger his owner might have been in. He headbutted her jaw as she walked into the kitchen.
She filled up the cat's food and water bowls, then emptied the litterbox. As Gizmo ate, she tackled the few dishes left in the sink. She needed the distraction, to keep herself focused on simple tasks rather than her fear for Gwen. Her worry was so all-consuming she felt like she could drown in it, and the only way to keep breathing was to find something else to do besides think.
When the kitchen was tidy and Gizmo was satisfied, already stretching out for a nap on the couch, Lydia walked out to the back porch. The breeze was cool, the smell of an oncoming rainstorm lingering in the air.
Gwen had left her latest read on the table next to her swing-bench—Far From You. It was a re-read from the previous year. Lydia remembered Gwen raving about it when she started reading it, and calling Lydia crying to vent about the sad ending. Lydia had read it at Gwen's insistence, and she wasn't ashamed to admit that she'd cried, too.
Now, she felt tears filling her eyes once again, but she pushed them back.
You don't know that she's dead, she reminded herself.
She gripped the railing of the porch until her knuckles turn white.
But you don't know that she's alive, either.
She swallowed hard against the urge to just break down. Gwen wouldn't want her to cry for her just yet—not until there was something real to cry over. She'd want her to hold onto hope as long as she could.
But Gwen was always the more hopeful out of the two of them. Without her sunshine, Lydia was just left with cloudy skies.
She looked out over Gwen's small, well-kept backyard, her gaze ghosting over the pristine grass and the shrubs lining the fence. The tiny flower garden Gwen kept in the corner of the yard was blossoming with spring flowers—purple geraniums and pink coneflowers. It was all so picturesque—just the way Gwen liked it.
A frown worked its way onto Lydia's face as she noticed the back gate was half-open. Shrugging away her confusion—Gwen's parents must have just forgotten to lock it earlier—she stepped off of the porch, walking over to the gate to close and lock it.
She'd only just begun to reach for the latch when she felt a presence behind her.
Her entire body tensed in a fraction of a second, but she wasn't fast enough. Maybe it was grief that had made her so slow to sense it, or maybe she was still too much of a rookie phoenix to get a good grasp of her supernatural senses.
Whatever it was, it slowed her reflexes just enough to give the cold hands the time to come around her throat, and twist.
And then her world went black.
✦
i know, it's short, but i love dramatic chapter endings ;)