I open my eyes to a different wall, different yet oddly familiar. I sit up, rubbing my eyes to take in my surroundings and remember the night before, realizing now that I am in Liam's room though he is nowhere to be seen. I remember we started to watch Harry Potter; I must have fallen asleep in the middle of the movie, but I don't remember coming to his room.
He carried me.
I get up to look around, shaking away the thought. I scan the room closely to notice the changes since I was last in here.
It's been three years.
It looks quite different, almost no traces of his old-self. The bean bag replaced with a plant, no posters on the wall anymore, no video games lying around, and no half-read comics on the floor.
It is immaculate; everything in its place, not even a paper out of place, almost as if it belongs to someone much older.
I spot my phone on the study table and as I go over to pick it up, I get a glimpse of First Edition of 'Atonement'.
His birthday present!
I run my fingers over the cover with my hand and my mind drifts to his reaction, his smile. He was obsessed with the book. After umpteenth attempts, I finally managed to track down the author, Ian McEwan, to get him a signed copy. He looked so excited as he unwrapped it at midnight, the two of us sitting alone in my balcony with some champagne and a cake for his seventeenth birthday. Smiling and remembering his reaction, I open the cover to re-read what I wrote him but instead I mistakenly chuck his wallet on the floor.
Just as I am about to bend down to pick it up, I hear the door click and I stand back up to see a shirtless, 'chiseled abs shirtless' Liam walk in, his eyes puzzled for a second when he looks at the empty bed. He glances around the room and walks inside as he spots me by the study table, a grin forming on his face as he walks towards me.
"Good morning, love," he says as I try not to notice how his physique has changed in these years, his abs and muscles much more well-defined.
Was he blessed by some Greek God in these years or something? Not that he needed it before!
"I said Good Morning, love," he says as I look away to meet his eyes, smugness dripping from his tone.
"You parade around the entire house shirtless now, do you Addington?" I ask him refusing to back down.
"Only when you are around," he says gruffly with the slyest wink.
I roll my eyes, turn around and move towards his closet, mostly to hide my blush from him.
"Well, I don't know who fell asleep more quickly to the harp? You or Fluffy?" he says as I open his cupboard to get out a shirt, plainly ignoring the fact how normal this feels.
"I didn't even get past the philosopher's stone?" I say grumpily as I take out a sky blue, short-sleeved, casual shirt.
"I need a more formal shirt, I have to go to the office," he says as I show him the shirt and then continues, "I think you slept right before the Quidditch match" he says smiling at me.
"I thought you had classes today?" I ask him while looking for a formal shirt.
"Just two, I will be free by noon. The review board wants to hear the update on the project tomorrow, we are presenting the final plans a week from now and as you know there is still some work left to be done," he says as I hand him as royal blue shirt, skin fit full-sleeved shirt.
"Oh, well I get free around 2. I can meet you after that?"
"No, I have got it under control," he says as he finishes buttoning his shirt and starts to roll up his sleeves.
"Besides, you would want to spend time with Luke, Reece and Jen today."
"Why?"
He looks at me hesitantly, "Well, he just called me. Jenifer has to go back, there's some work emergency and even Luke has to handle a board meeting--,"
"But they just got here. Can't he just do it over a video call or something?"
"I am afraid not, love. Sorry" he says reading my sad expression.
"It's alright, I will see y—-Oh your wallet," I say spotting it on the floor,"-it fell down when I was--," I start to say, bending down to pick it up but Liam beats me to it, as he hastily picks it up and pockets it almost too quickly.
"Never mind, I got it," he says suddenly avoiding eye contact.
Odd
"Erm, as I was saying, I will see you later, then," I continue, not thinking too much into his strange behaviour.
"Later, love," he says smiling at me.
I turn around as he calls out my name, "Erm, if Luke asks about y-yesterday, you know—"he says with a slight tone of fear.
I simply smug, calling him a wimp before walking out.
I don't see Luke or Jenifer when I go back home so I decide to go get ready and leave for college, sending them a text saying that I will see them around two after classes. However, when I come back home, I find Luke having lunch while watching some movie on the TV all alone.
"Where's everyone?"
"Well, we need to leave by 7 for the airport, so Mum wanted to spend the day with us, so she took Jenifer and Reece out for shopping."
"Why didn't you go?"
"Well, I thought I haven't had much time with you, so I will spend the day with you," he says looking at me.
"Okay, I'll just go freshen up then,"
"We are going out. Wear something comfortable," Luke says now looking at the TV again.
"Where're we going?"
"You'll know, just go get ready."
Fifteen minutes later, we are walking towards the main street, when Luke says, "I came to your room before breakfast to tell you that we need to leave today, imagine my surprise, when you didn't answer your door,"
"Erm, yeah, I was, erm , at—" I mumble avoiding eye contact with him.
"Liam's I know," he says smirking.
"Wait a minute, how did you know though?" I ask him as the question pops in my head.
"Twelve years and that idiot still leaves the ladder at your balcony every time. Who does he think keeps it back in its place?"
I start laughing thinking of all the times, Liam had to face Luke's wrath.
"I'll tell him for future references," I say.
"I'd much rather prefer there will be no future references to get to," he says sternly.
"As if" I say rolling my eyes at him.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Well, you can pretend to be all cold towards him but I know you love him as much as you love me,"
"Which is why I prefer that he knows how to behave himself,"
"You are such a hypocrite,"
"Excuse me?" he says lowly in a defensive tone.
"What? Do you want me to remind you of all things you did to impress Jenifer?
"So, you think he is trying to impress you?" he says smirking
"NO, no th-that's not what I-you..I," I flutter to find the words when I look around to find a familiar pathway "Wait a minute, are we going to—"
"Yup, Ben's animal shelter—" he says smiling at me.
"Oh God! I haven't been here in years. Do you think he will still let us play with puppies?" I say closely escaping any conversations about Liam.
Luke and I used to come to Ben's animal shelter all the time when we were kids. Luke found the place and once when I was very upset he just held my hand and took me here and begged the owner, Benjamin Michaels, to let me play with the puppies for some time because 'I was very sad and puppies make everyone happy'. He was a sweet, old man who didn't have to be asked twice. Since then, whenever I was too upset, this was one of my go-to-places. I would just come here and hang out with the pups for a while and Uncle Ben would never speak a thing and let me be and it became like an unspoken thing between us. When we entered the shelter, it was as if it was like yesterday, uncle Ben recognized us in an instant and happily led us out to the yard to where the pups where.
While playing with the pups in silence, I catch Luke looking at me hesitantly a few times. I try to ignore him but after the fourth time, I look at him, asking to say whatever's bothering him.
"Nothing," he replies as he strokes the back of one of the pups.
"C'mon, what is it Luke?"
"Well, we haven't really talked, have we now?" he says hesitantly avoiding eye-contact.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, after everything that happened, I know that I came here and I saw you off to Cambridge but we haven't really talked after that, have we?"
"I didn't talk to anyone here, Luke except for Mum and Pops. You know that," I say softly suddenly guilt rushing over me.
"--But you should have been able to talk to me, Kiera. I have wanted to apologize for so long. I am really, really sorry for not being a responsible elder brother. I should have been there for you more often. The other day when you asked me about coming back to England and not visiting you, what I said was only partially true. I did want to come see you, I just didn't know how. I know you were suffering and going through so much and I would have done anything to have lessen your pain but I couldn't do the only thing I should have-come visit you," he says looking at me with guilt–laden eyes.
I let go of the pups in my lap as I go sit beside me, "Luke, you haven't been just the best brother I could have asked for, you are so much more. You are my rock, I couldn't have turned out half-as normal as I did, if I didn't have a brother like you. I was too small to understand how messed up things at home ever were and even when I grew I didn't have to face them because you were always there to protect me. These three years have been, I-I can't even think of words to describe what they have been like, but do not for a second think that you were a bad broth-"
"—but I was, kiddo. I was. I was cowardly. I didn't want to face you. Whatever happened that night, I should have—"
"Luke, I have not yet dealt with the reality of that night completely but do not for a second think that you were at fault, if anything I had let you down."
"There's nothing you can do anything that would let me down," he says and I feel better seeing him smile.
"Not even if I told you that it wasn't Liam but I who nicked those beer bottles for my fifteenth birthday,"
"Kiera Rutherford!" he says faking anger and we both laugh, and for the first time it felt like our roles reversed, that I was the one comforting him and for all those moments when I didn't, I was now more than grateful to have him as my brother.
We spent rest of the day eating at our old favorites and I told him about everything I got to learn at Cambridge. He didn't bring up any topic of Liam or that night but I did see him smile more often now.
As we were about to leave for the airport (I was driving them there), Sam comes to see them off and I contain my curiosity of asking about Liam, mostly to avoid Luke's smug reaction.
However, it did bother me a little.
Two hours and a teary goodbye later, as I leave the airport, Liam's absence hits me instantly, the curiosity getting the better of me this time, so I decide to check up on him.
Thirty minutes later, as I open the door to Liam's office, my eyes fall on his sleeping form, lying down carelessly on the sofa, his left hand hanging loosely, his mouth gaping open and his right hand loosely clutching to what I squint to recognize as his wallet that has now almost fallen on his chest.
What's with him and the wallet?
I take notice of the muddled room, files and folders scattered all over his desk and the floor. I close the door slowly making as little sound as possible as I approach his sleeping figure, seating myself on the floor on my knees, just to create enough height that I can see his face.
He looks relaxed, almost smiling.
I control my temptation to run my hand over his dishevelled hair, trying to gather up the strength to wake him up but being able to look at him like this, undisturbed, unrecognized is intoxicating and with no glasses to take off this time, I continue to foolishly look at him.
I steal away a few more moments of solemn before shaking him with the slightest touch to wake him from his slumber.
He opens his eyes, a smile appearing on his lips as he sees me, slowly adjusting to the light as he sits beside me on the floor.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" he says gruffly.
"I just dropped off Luke, Jenifer and Reece at the airport—" I say.
"Wait, they already left?"
I see regret flint through his eyes for a moment.
"Yes, and I didn't see you at home when Sam came over to see them off, and then your phone was unavailable. In short, I ended up calling Charloette and she told me that you were still working when she left."
"She left?" Liam asks confused, "What time is it?"
"Almost 10 pm, Liam," I say trying to hide the worry in voice but it didn't go unnoticed.
"I am sorry, I was working, my phone must have been on silent and then I dozed off. I am really sorry." He says making a puppy face.
"When did you last eat something?"
"Erm, right before I dozed off," he says avoiding my eyes pretending to sort the papers lying on the floor.
"Liam" I say narrowing my eyes at his white lie.
"When I left the house this morning," he says turning back to look at me with a guilty face.
"Good thing, I picked up your regular order from Greggs." I say handing him the food packet, "I mean this is what you liked before; I don't know if it's changed or—"
"I still love it," he says softly smiling at me, "thanks for remembering."
I shift back, bringing some distance between us, "Erm, yeah" I say as my eyes fall on the wallet now lying on the sofa beside me.
Chuckling, I pick it up, "By the way, who sleeps with his wallet on--,"
"Kiera, NO!," Liam tries to take away the wallet but it's too late because I am already numb from what I see inside it.
It's a photo of us; from our day at the fair. He said it didn't develop correctly.
Suddenly I am overwhelmed and numb at once. The memories of the fair come flooding my brain and my heart sinks I stare at our unworried smiles, the two of us in the booth and he is looking at me, the same way he has always looked, one that is all too familiar.
Unable to meet his eyes, I continue to stare at the photo, "You have my photo in—"
"Erm—no, it's just-" he says quietly searching for something other than food in the packet.
"You lied to me. You said that the photo never developed properly," I say turning towards him, daring him to look at me.
He looks up at me, turning to face to me, the light in the office just bright enough for my heart to beat faster with one look in his brown orbs.
"I did," he says with no guilt in his eyes.
"Why?" I manage to whisper out.
He stares at me for a moment, a moment too long.
"You know why, love. It was one of the special nights and I just wanted to keep that night, that moment, that memory between the two us," he says causing butterflies in my stomach, "I know you would have taken it for your Polaroid wall and I wanted it to be with me," his voice now become deeper as he moves closer to me, "reminding me of your smile that night, the way you laughed at my stupid jokes, the way you held my hand when I was scared at the ride, the way you excitedly hugged me when I won a Panda,", he continues now raising his hand, caressing my face lightly before slowly tucking away a strand that is falling on my face and moving closer whispering, "the way my heart felt like it would explode when you kissed me."
I can't breathe.
The look in his eyes is causing me heart to beat so fast while his words are setting fire to my skin making me breathe heavily.
His slightest touch and it takes me through a whirlwind of emotions in a second.
I am too afraid to look at him yet even more terrified to look away from his eyes. The questions in my mind shunned in a dark corner because of his anticipated answers and unexpected reaction to them.
"You want to ask me something, love," he whispers huskily almost daring me, his hands still holding my face.
My heart is too broken to dare right now, Liam!
I move back and shake my head in a no.
"I would answer either way love," he whispers to me, "There's nothing else I would rather keep because no one can make me smile like you do," he continues with a smile that has a hint of pain in it, "and every time I look at the picture, it reminds me of what could have been of us, one that I am always hoping for."
**********
Author's Note
Hey Everyone,
So here's a long overdue chapter. I know it feels like ages since I last wrote but there have been so many things happening that I didn't have time to do this. I apologize for the delay.
So, let me know what you think? Do you think something is finally happening between Liam and Kiera? Or everything seems to quick? What do you think is going to happen?
A lot of stuff is coming though.
Do Vote if you liked it!
Happy Reading ❤❤