**Aaaand another one, because I'm so far ahead on writing this
As always, if you enjoy, shoot me a comment or vote to let me know what you think!**
Only Fair
It was no use.
I had been tossing and turning, bundled up in the soft blankets on my bed for hours, but sleep refused to come.
Throwing the layers of blankets from my body, I rose from the bed, sliding my feet into the fuzzy slippers that Eden had brought me earlier in the night when she had spotted the goosebumps dotting the skin of my arm. I wrapped a thick robe around my shoulders as well, for good measure.
There were logs sitting beside the cold hearth. I struggled to recall the way Eden would set them up, settling for my best approximation of the neat stacking, just to have it all be for naught. I hadn't an idea how to light it.
I rummaged around, on the hunt for matches, or a lighter. I would even settle for flint and steel, if it meant relief from the freezing temperature of the room.
None of it was anywhere to be found.
I had just given up, throwing my hands up in frustration as I turned to retreat back to the warmth of my blankets, when I noticed a cream colored paper sticking out from under the door to the alphas foyer that hadn't been there previously.
'Is everything alright in there?'
'Yes,' I stared down at the page, hesitating before adding on, 'I was attempting to light my hearth. Sorry if the noise woke you.'
'Not at all,' he wrote back, 'I was already awake.'
'You couldn't sleep either?'
'Unfortunately not. Would you care for some company? The hearth in my foyer is lit quite nicely.'
I stared down at the words on the page, debating for only a moment before stepping to the door to tap a few soft, hesitant knocks against the wood.
His eyes glowed in the dim lamplight as he opened the door. I met his gaze shyly, glancing past him to the flames dancing in his hearth, as promised. He stepped aside to allow me into the room.
I tried to ignore the awkward tension in the air, walking past him to perch on the edge of his settee. My eyes fluttered closed as the heat from the fire warmed my body. The settee dipped as he sat down in the remaining space beside me, close but not touching. I could feel the weight of his eyes on me, but refused to look at him. Instead, I continued to soak up all of the warmth that I could, knowing that eventually I would have to return to my icebox of a bedroom.
"Are you cold?" He asked, as if the concept were foreign to him.
"I was,'' I admitted, "but I'm much better now." I finally peeked my eyes open to meet his gaze.
His head was cocked to the side as he studied my face, creases forming along his brow. "I apologize, I should have remembered that humans get cold so much easier than shifters do."
"Nothing I can't handle," I offered with a weak smile, not sure why I felt the need to comfort him, if only a little.
He frowned, but did not press the subject, turning his gaze forward into the roaring flames.
I was silent for a while, both of us staring at the fire as if in a trance. Then he spoke, voice soft as if he were unwilling to break the tranquility of the room, "Tell me about yourself."
"I'm afraid there is not a whole lot to tell," I deflected.
"I want to know it, nonetheless," he thought for a moment, his lips pursing, "You worked in a bakery, correct? Tell me about that, how long have you been working there?"
I hesitated, mouth twisting in a grimace, "Since I was ten."
He frowned, but didn't ask why. He already knew the answer. "And.. you enjoy the work? Matteo told me that you assist in the kitchen here nearly every afternoon after lessons with Signora Flori."
"I do enjoy it," I shrugged, turning my attention back to the fire to avoid the intensity of his gaze, "but I likely get in Maria's way in the kitchen here more than I assist her."
"I highly doubt that," he said, "don't forget I've tasted your cooking."
A blush burned my already warm face. I snuck a glance at him from the corner of my eye, "And what about you? What does an alpha do with his time?"
"Nothing terribly interesting, unfortunately," he replied, "so far, it's mostly meetings and drills."
"You don't have any hobbies?"
"Does archery count? I've always enjoyed the elegance of the bow and arrow, though I haven't practiced in quite some time."
"Why not?" It didn't make sense to me. He was a prince, wasn't he supposed to be able to do anything he wanted?
"My parents died," he shrugged, feigning nonchalance, "I had to start running a kingdom."
The casualness of his voice startled me, until I saw the sadness he was trying to hide within the depths of his eyes. I frowned, "Don't you have any time for yourself?"
He only shrugged again in response.
"None at all?" I looked at him, brows raised.
"Does that surprise you?" An amused smile graced his handsome features.
I thought about my answer, "I suppose it's just that even though my family was struggling to scrape by, we all still found time for the things we enjoyed." I bit my lip as I considered my next words carefully, "That was the only thing that kept life from being so dull and grey."
His eyes were like a twilight sky as he looked at me, "Sometimes grey can be beautiful."
My blush returned with a vengeance.
I turned my eyes away from him, back to the fire– my very grey eyes. Legs stretched out toward the hearth, I allowed myself to finally settle more comfortably into the seat. "You look like you want to say something more," he stated a moment later, voice soft.
It was my turn to shrug, "It just se–" I stopped to consider my words carefully, "are you happy with the hand you were dealt?"
For a moment, he looked at me with some of Evelina's calculation, then he gave me a small smile, "Happy enough. I have the influence to change the things I don't like about the world. If nothing else, ending the war between the kingdoms makes it worth it. How many countless people died needlessly because greedy rulers couldn't settle for the portion of land they already had?"
I was momentarily taken aback. That was not the answer I had expected from him. It was so honest– so genuine. So many awful things happened in his kingdom daily because of laws put in place by his family, but he had done good things in his short time as ruler as well.
It may have all been a ploy to get me to trust him, but perhaps I had some chance of changing his mind about my kind before the year was up.
"Is it like that for every ruler? Working so much?" For some reason, I still couldn't picture it. The idea clashed so drastically with the image in my head of a king lazing about while servants feed him small fruits and fan him with giant leaves.
"No," he admitted, "at first, I craved the distraction. I had just lost both of my parents so suddenly, not to mention Matteo's father, who I regarded like an uncle, only a year before that and I felt the weight of an entire nation fall onto my shoulders with no mentors to lean on. I threw myself headfirst into the work so I wouldn't dwell on my loss or the pressure of following in my father's footsteps."
"How did it happen?" I blurted, unable to keep the question in. What had happened to the former king and queen was not public knowledge.
Beside me, he fell silent.
"I'm sorry," I rushed to get out, "that was insensitive. I shouldn't have as–'
He cut me off, "No, it's quite alright. I've never discussed it with anyone before." He paused, and I felt his gaze once again fall on the side of my face, but I couldn't bring myself to look, "I'd like to tell you. You told me about your father after all, it's only fair."
He took a deep breath, bracing himself as if he were about to face a foe. "No one knows for sure what it was that killed my father. It was a sickness, so sudden that we hardly had time to react."
"I thought your kind doesn't get sick?"
"Not very easily, but there have been a few viruses over the years that have proven quite deadly to my kind, though they are terribly rare. It was surreal. My father was the strongest man I knew, very possibly the strongest man on the continent, and suddenly he couldn't even stand on his own. He fought for a week, unable to move or even speak at times, before he finally succumbed to the disease. After he passed, we thought my mother might have caught it at well, but it turned out she was only sick with grief." He turned his head up so that his expressions was hidden from my view. "Worse than that, she had grown delirious. She was convinced that someone had murdered him. Poisoned him. There was no evidence for such a claim, but mother insisted. She quit eating, quit drinking, quit sleeping. She holed herself up in her room, rarely allowing anyone to see her, even myself or my sisters. Then, one day, she was gone as well."
When he turned back to face me, his expression was pained. I thought I saw the glint of unshed tears in his eyes before he blinked and they were gone. He continued, "She couldn't live with her grief, so she ended her own life while the rest of the castle slept. The hurt she must have been feeling is unimaginable. Your books must have mentioned the pain that comes with losing a mate, yes?"
I nodded numbly.
His parents were terrible people who had done so many unspeakable things to humans. So, why did I suddenly find myself feeling such sorrow for him?
I felt like I needed to say something, anything, but had no idea where to even begin. I knew that "I'm sorry" never helped the way it was intended in these situations. Instead of words, I reached out and placed my hand atop his, marveling at the sparks dancing across our skin.
His hand flipped so that he could wrap his fingers around mine. He let out a sad chuckle, "I sure know how to darken a mood, don't I?
"I'm glad you shared with me." I told him honestly. I felt as if I had gained one more piece in the puzzle that was Gianluca DiLuna.
He squeezed my hand gently, "Tell me something else about you. Do you have any siblings?"
I raised my free hand to stifle a yawn, "Four, actually."
His brows rose.
I nodded, "There's my brothers, Ash and Reed, and my sisters, Lily and Daisy."
"And who is the oldest?"
"Technically Ash," I admitted glumly, remembering our old banter, "but I'm only younger by a few minutes."
"Twins?"
I nodded again.
"Tell me more about them."
I obliged, recanting a few lighthearted stories from my childhood until my tongue grew heavy in my mouth. My eyes drifted closed, and I fought to pry them open once more, turning my attention to the fire in an attempt to fight off the sleep I was so desperately hoping for only hours before.
I didn't notice that I was drifting off to sleep, until my head came to rest on something hard and warm. I tried to flutter them open once again, but a smooth, comforting voice hushed me softly, "Sleep now, Rosa."
I couldn't have fought it if I tried.
~*~*~
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Next chapter tomorrow