dedicated to senrqse for the covers above and below! thank you ari <3
Chapter Nine: "Hot and Bothered."
AT 8:30 IN THE morning that Thursday I knew I was going to have a long day.
Usually, Wednesdays are my longest days with work and biomethods around this exact time. However, when my biomethods group decides to meet at this early hour in the morning at the South Campus Building as if we were not altogether at this same time the day before, I was annoyed.
Sleep was something I valued. My bed. My comfortable clothes. With the window cracked open just a bit to let the cold air in so I can get into a very specific mood that determined the rest of my day?
Wonderful. Beautiful. I wanted it. I needed it. Yet I couldn't get it.
Instead, my ass sat in one of the corners of the eatery where a set of couches was occupied by the other three members of my team. We had a presentation for the class next week.
I was already over this hell week and wanted to move onto the next one to study for my physics exam since biochem preparation was over. But physics couldn't have any attention until this project was finished.
This project could have been finished a lot faster if I didn't have to be in a group filled with boys.
Not that there would be anything wrong with being in a group filled with boys but boys in STEM at Herringway had a very specific...presence.
For one, a lot of them were condescending.
Many that were in Mariam's program wanted to be doctors. This meant that a good amount of them were competitive because they wanted to go to med school. However, they weren't just competitive people. They were competitive people on Adderall. Literally.
That meant no helping each other for the fear that someone was going to do better than you. That meant no giving other people resources or access to previous exams when studying. That meant having the 6'0 guy in a polo shirt and slacks you rarely know failing to mask the cocky look that screamed, 'I got over a 90' as he asks you 'what did you get' on the latest Calculus exam.
Two, they spoke over you.
This is what I was currently experiencing as I watched the three boys I was in a group with discuss the project ahead of them. Despite knowing jackshit about where I was going to go in my life, I knew working in the future in this profession I would deal with people like this. But damn, no part of me was prepared for the fact that every single time I tried to talk, there was a 90% chance I was going to be shut down.
For instance:
"Jaime, you write the results section."
"I think I can handle the methods section a lot better because I have a lot of information--"
"Smart move, man," One of them says, immediately cutting me off. "I'll take the discussion section."
Then another example:
"What are we planning on doing for the--"
"Bro, did you guys see the hockey game last night?" One of them interrupted.
Leading into a conversation about only hockey for almost twenty minutes. It doesn't stop there.
"I really think we should break down this section--"
"The figures need to be replicated to add to the presentation. That way we won't have to do extra." Another one of them said.
Third, they had the biggest tendency to mansplain.
If they were able to explain to you how grass grows in an arrogant tone to prove that they were better than you, I swear they would do it.
I hate it. Sometimes, I hate it here.
Even one minute into that was enough to leave me frustrated and under the impression that the rest of my day was going to be ruined for me.
By the time they're in the middle of discussing whatever the hell that wasn't even relevant to the project, I had dropped my notes on the table, said "I have a class. I'm taking the methods section. That's the protocol. I'll send the rest later tonight." And left. Without another word.
If they heard me? That's great. I wasn't going to stick around to find out or compromise when they didn't bother to listen to me.
It wasn't until later that night, that I'm walking out of one of the big old buildings in the Northern part of campus that my sour mood gets a little bit uplifted by the sound of Iman's voice.
"What are you doing over reading week?"
The question has me jump due to me waving bye to a few of the other exec members of Biology Society when he voiced it. As financial director of the club, my responsibilities weren't heavy. A part of me was uncertain as to how I necessarily got the position. Maybe others did apply for it, maybe they didn't, but I didn't question it, taking it regardless.
It wasn't a long meeting, but it was long enough for me to zone out halfway, finding myself deep in the imagination of my second life where I was on a road trip with multiple celebrities. The daydream ended when Iman had texted me in the middle of the meeting, asking me where I was since he was still on campus.
By his side stood our other friend, Josiah, who was bundled up in a coat. "Hi, Josiah." When he greeted me, I turned back to Iman, "I am staying here. Why?"
"Okay, good, me too." Thank God. Abisola would probably be happier than I was since I wouldn't technically be alone for the entire week.
"What about you, Josiah?" I asked him as we started walking, trudging ourselves up Edgar Hill. At 7 pm, the sky was almost entering nightfall, every path alit from the lamps along them. A few students were walking to their late-night classes, passing by us on the hill and it was freezing, everyone we passed wearing either a thick sweater or a jacket.
"I'm heading home," Josiah answered. "I need a break from this place."
"Bro, big mood." Iman sighed as we walked along the path towards the bus stop. "But flights back to BC are expensive as hell so I told my parents they will see me in the winter. Are you excited to go home soon?" He asked Josiah.
"Yeah," He rubbed his hands together. "I want to see my boyfriend so badly."
"Aw," Iman pouted, clasping his hands together and holding them up to his face. "Young love. So beautiful."
Josiah chuckled, pushing Iman's hands down. "What are you guys going to be doing?"
"Studying. I have another midterm a week after." I told them, sighing.
Iman's eyes lit up and he shook me on the shoulder. I swatted his hands off me but that definitely didn't push away his excitement, "How about one of those days you take a break from studying and come to Toronto with me? We can take the train."
"Why do you want to go to Toronto?"The major city was about a two-hour drive from Jasper Bay.
"It's my brother's birthday in December. I want to get him this signed album of someone he used to love and I need it before someone takes it. It's only in this specific store in Toronto."
"What's the album?" Josiah asked.
Iman hesitated before he spoke. "It's Dolly Parton's Jolene album."
I almost dropped my phone out of my hands at the name of the artist. My jaw drops and I stop in my steps, the boys having to stop with me, "Your brother listens to Dolly Parton?"
"My brother was obsessed with Dolly Parton growing up," Iman said as we continued walking. "So, I thought, why not for his twenty-first birthday, get him the album he was obsessed with? Signed and hand-delivered by his favourite brother."
"You're his only brother," I mumbled, still trying to reel in the fact that Ezekiel was a lover of Dolly Parton at one point in his life.
"What do you say?"
"I don't know," I admitted. The idea sounded appealing. A break was what I needed but the weight of my grades was the only other nagging thing on my mind. But it'd only be for a day. Just for Iman to get what he needed and then we leave. "It depends on how far I get into studying for my midterm."
"Alright, Jaime." He wagged a finger in my face. "But, bro, I'm telling you, you won't regret it if you come. We'll have a blast."
"Remember when you almost got us killed in that taxi?"
He shot me a dry look. "You've got to stop bringing that up."
Josiah stopped walking in the direction we were headed when we reached an intersection. "I'm going to head over to Cori's. I'll see you guys."
After exchanging goodbyes, a few minutes later, Iman and I found ourselves on the bus.
Sometimes it was great to have tall friends. They can reach higher shelves. They can put you on their shoulders at concerts. They could find people in a crowd easier with their high view.
While I didn't consider myself short, Iman was tall with long legs. Long legs that felt the need to basically spread whenever he sat down. Like now. His legs were spread, feet on the ground, with a need to make his knees repel from being side by side like mine. But instead, he chose to distance his knees in a horrible attempt to reach a 180 degrees angle.
Suffice to say, he practically squished me into the window with his knees.
I pushed his legs together and the man yelped in surprise as I made space for myself. "I have a question."
"Shoot."
"What's going on with you and Mari?"
Iman fiddled with his phone in his hands. "What do you mean?"
"The other day when we were all at the library. You guys did that thing. The way you looked at each other like it was only you and her against the world."
"Stop," He rolled his eyes, but the corner of his lip was tugged upward. "You're moving like we're living in a movie."
"You looked at each other as if a meteorite could crash behind you and you two wouldn't even notice."
"Shut up, you're tweakin'," He laughed, leaning his head back until it rested against the plastic panel behind our seats. "We're over, Jay."
"I know. But when I brought up your brother yesterday and you mentioned her reaction to him? I don't think you remembered that."
Iman fell silent, eyes on the electronic board near where the bus driver was sitting, "You're just looking out for me, right?"
"Of course," I assured him.
He leaned forward, lacing his fingers together and resting his elbows on his knees. "Look, I know she's been dating other guys or whatever. It's fine. The thing is that Mari and I are on two different wavelengths."
"What do you mean?"
"Despite all the wild things she is capable of and does," He chuckled. "She knows what she wants to do in life. I've never met a girl who was so focused like she is. The only person who even matches her in her ambition has to be--"
"Yasmeen?"
"Yes, but also no. All of you. I think the reason all of you are really good friends is because you're crazy, super, mother fucking focused." He continued. "And she needs someone on that focus, that kind of drive, with her, you know? I mean, I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do after I graduate."
Neither did I. But the thing with Iman was that that would never bother him. That was the difference between us. He was cruising by to find out what to do with his life whereas I needed to find a purpose.
"She's always got it in her head that's she's going to go to Herringway," He said. "Go to Toronto for med school. Do residency at one of the five hospitals of her choice. Get a house about an hour away from the city. Work in the city. It's always been clear, cut, focus with her. I can't give her that when I don't even know what I'm going to wear tomorrow."
"Iman."
"And that's not a big deal for me," He leaned back, looking at me. "I don't need to focus on that, you know? Not like she does. It's not as important to me. I mean, of course, I love her." His sudden confession has me raise my eyebrows and he hold his hands out at my expression. "I love her, but you weren't there when we'd constantly be talking about the future. You weren't there for the arguments. We just aren't on the right path, Jaime. Later? Maybe. But for now? No."
"I get it,"
"Good," Iman sighed. "As long as she's happy. Whether she's finds a new boyfriend or she's hooking up with someone else, it's fine."
"But you still love her."
Iman scoffed, and he ran a hand over his coily hair. "Yup. But we got to all move on eventually."
As the bus ride continues, the speaker announces the following bus stops before stopping at each one to drop and pick off passengers. Iman's flicking through his phone when he mumbles, "So."
"So, what?"
"You and Aven. Is this a thing?"
What? "We're just friends. You saw that yesterday." I said.
He didn't look away from his phone when he asked, "You into him?"
"Iman."
"I'm just saying," He put his phone away, fixing his gaze on me. "I was being dramatic about the whole incest thing--"
"I figured."
"But a man just wants to know."
"I don't know," I admitted. "I don't really know him that well, you know? He's nice. He's funny. He's shy and bold, and he's interesting all at the same time."
"It sounds like you've figured him out already to me," Iman muttered and I swatted him on the shoulder. "Do you get butterflies around him or something?"
"How would you know about butterflies?"
"We can get butterflies in our stomach too. I don't know how you perceive men but as you can tell from, like, five minutes ago, we have that thing called feelings too, my guy," He pointed out. "Do you have a crush on him?"
"We're not in high school."
"So? Adults can still get crushes," He was honestly on a roll with every single point he kept making and I was getting tired of it. "What is it? Do you think he's hot?"
"Iman."
He rolled his eyes. "Admit it. I'm not going to start blabbing to him about what you're saying. You know you can trust me."
I knew that. As much as the boy babbled, he had become one of my closest friends faster than I had thought possible in the past year. I've shared a few things with him and I'm certain that others have shared things of their own with him due to his nature. A part of me wondered what secrets he held up in his head most of the time.
"Yeah, he's hot," I mumbled.
Iman nodded slowly and then he asked, "Does he get you, like, hot and bothered?"
"Iman!"
"Just answer the question," he matched my energy with our tone and we were definitely attracting the eyes of the people who were nearby. "If you had the chance, would you hook up with Aven?"
Yes. Instead, I settled for making a face. "This is weird."
"How?"
"Because I never tell you who I want to hook up with or anything like that." Actually, I rarely told anyone. It wasn't like I was keeping it a secret. I just wasn't as open about things I did as much as the people that surrounded me were.
"Like last year when you were hooking up with Malcolm?" Iman shivered and I internally did as well but the man shook his entire body for emphasis. "And I found out in the worst way possible."
The worst way possible meant that Iman had walked into my dorm room, saw what he did not need to see, and ran out of there. I didn't see him for a week. "We're not going to speak about it."
Iman pressed the stop button as we got close to the bus stop near his house. The man patted my knee once. Twice. Then said, "I'll try to do something about this Aven situation."
Huh? "Aven situation?"
My words were left misheard as he jumped out of his seat and was already running off of the bus, "See you!"
Oh God.
By the time I stepped into the house, I had sent him a million texts to not do anything when I found Yasmeen at the circular dining table in the kitchen. Her eyebrows were furrowed, eyes scanning her textbook and I don't think I recalled the last time she had ever looked that focused in my entire life.
"Hey." She jumped, blinking rapidly as she looked up at me at the sound of my voice. "Have you been here all day?"
"Um," She cleared her throat, reaching for her water bottle. "For a while. Where are you coming from?"
"Meeting."
Yasmeen's eyes suddenly went wide. "Shit, I almost forgot."
She opened up her laptop, her fingers flying against the keyboard in a hurry I didn't understand. After watching her for a solid minute from where I stood, I took notice of how she was still wearing her hijab even though she was home. That meant that either Benny was over, or she had walked into the house and had been so stressed she didn't bother.
"Is Benny here?" I asked her.
She shook her head, eyes still on the screen as she typed quickly, hunched over the table. No, my mind screamed, not the hunchback of Notre Dame posture. That meant stressed Yasmeen was activated. "No."
"Yasmeen."
She didn't pay me any more attention as I sat down at the table in front of her. She typed for two minutes until she sighed in relief. "I forgot that I had this thing I was doing for ASA," Before I could ask her which ASA, she replied. "African."
"Okay," She seemed more relaxed now, regaining her energy in a matter of minutes. I got up, and glanced at her once more, "Don't push yourself too hard, eh?"
"I know." She sighed. "I just have one more midterm until my next after reading week."
"Me too."
"Physics, right?" Yasmeen shot me a small smile. "You're going to kill it. As weird as it is, you're practically an icon with physics."
I flip my braids over my shoulder dramatically and she laughs. "I plan on keeping that title."
When she goes back to studying, I retreat to my room. My hands go straight to my laptop once I'm sitting on my desk, attempting to find a playlist to study to. When I glance at the side panel, I can see a range of my friends listening to a variety of music.
I wasn't sure where Mariam was right now but I'm certain she's going through an emotional roller coaster since she was listening to an Adele album. Clayton was currently listening to an artist I didn't recognize, and Yasmeen's last listen wasn't an English song, and I made a mental note to check it out later.
Suddenly, there was a change in the activity feed. Aven's username rises to the top as the song he listens to changes. To make matters worse—or better I couldn't decide---my eyebrows go up when I see that he's not only listening to one of my favourite songs but he's also listening to one of my playlists.
Quickly, I took out my phone from where I put it in the drawer, moving over to Instagram.
Me: listen to yeehaw and giddy up
His reply was quick.
aven montaque: over my dead body.
Me: okay, handle that first, then get out of my other playlist and listen to it.
aven montaque: keep stalking what I'm listening to. definitely not creepy. Just Jaime behaviour.
"Just Jaime behaviour," I mocked, fighting the smile on my face as I sent him a picture of my laptop screen.
Me: It's right there. Out in the open for the world to see. From my playlist which u clearly creeped thru. Now go listen to yagu.
aven montaque: yagu? lol tf is yagu??
Me: yeehaw and giddy up. Buddy, are u okay? Are your brain cells still dying from saying Blonde is better than Channel Orange?
aven montaque: Buddy, are u okay? don't make me put one of ur bright hats on a high shelf. Remember that the only person ur taller than is Kyle.
(2) aven montaque: btw my brain cells are perfectly fine. But don't test me, Jaime.
My jaw dropped. A part of me should have been partially offended by the subtle jab to my height when I wasn't even short but Mr. Giant clearly didn't care. A bigger part of me was intrigued.
Don't test me, Jaime.
Goddamn, Montaque. If you just asked, I honestly would.
Me: If it doesn't change, I'm blocking you and you can't listen to my music anymore.
I shut off my phone, taking out my notebook to do practice questions. Midway through the first question, I grinned at the sight of his activity feed displaying that he's listening to a song off of yeehaw and giddy up.
Then I frowned. At how easy my down mood from today skyrocketed to one of elation from a simple action.
Iman did state the obvious: adults can have crushes.