Nic stormed around the corner, and basically ran right into Cade Wolcottingham, the most distinguished student in all the school. He had extremely light blond hair and, when cut, bled mercilessly. However, he still maintained a frightening, yet benign reputation for being everyone’s frenemy.
“Watch where you’re going, Snodingworth!” he exclaimed. “You could’ve hurt me!”
Nic didn’t hear him. He continued around the corner, tears starting to stream down his face. Cade looked back at the boy and shook his head. Children, especially males, nowadays were becoming much too soft. They would start off talking about their feelings and eventually break down and cry. In Cade’s previous-life’s day, children were seen and not heard, and even slapped when showing emotion.
Oh yes, Cade thought. Good old 1999.
Cade broke his train of thought and went around the corner, only to see Jeni and Daniel in a passionate embrace. He coughed, gaining the attention of both parties. Jeni looked embarrassed, and Daniel began to scuttle away.
“Hold it, Mr. Stohlmannesdale,” Cade remarked. “Please stay right here.”
Daniel obeyed.
“I think it would be interesting if Mr. Bausch knew about this little delve into hormonally challenged secrecy.” Cade said smugly. Everyone knew that Cade was apprenticing under Mr. Bausch in an attempt to gain control of the politics of the school. However, Cade didn’t know that Mr. Bausch hadn’t won the position of Superintendent back in 1978. Cade continued on with his apprenticeship, blinded with false grandeur.
“Please don’t say anything!” Daniel pleaded. “I’ve already lost my position as football captain! I can’t lose my reputation, too!”
Jeni said nothing. Cade approached her.
“And you, Ms. Hestersee, your reputation has already been ruined. Were you seeking to gain it back by making out with the most popular boy in school?”
Jeni began to protest, but Cade cut her off.
“It’s been brought to my attention that you have a child in your possession now.”
“Yes,” Jeni replied quietly.
“And I believe you aren’t a qualified parent.”
“What?”
“You aren’t fit to take care of that child.”
“If you believe I’m unfit due to the repercussions of my actions, please let me explain…”
Cade ignored her comment. “How are you to take care of a child when you can’t even take care of yourself?” he asked.
Jeni, puzzled, looked at him. Cade gestured to her shoe.
“My shoe?” Jeni asked. “The lace is just undone.”
“Exactly!” Cade shrieked. “How are you to create a safe environment for your child if, A) you can’t even tie your shoe and B) you fall on her all the time due to the untied laces?”
“She’s a robot. She’ll live.”
Cade, shocked at this revelation of hopeless parenting, walked passed the two. He called over his shoulder: “I wouldn’t be surprised if she were taken away from you!”
Jeni looked to Daniel, who was looking down at the tile.
“Did you hear that?” Jeni asked.
“I sure did. What does it mean?”
Jeni, not willing to dignify that answer with a response, quickly changed the subject.
“We have to prove to Wolcottingham I’m a fit mother! For if we don’t, then little Juliearl can be taken away! What can we do?”
Daniel, still mesmerized by the tile, said: “What if we tricked him?”
Jeni pondered the idea. It just might work! she thought. “But how?”
“Well, what if you brought him over to your house and pretended someone else was Juliearl? Then, he could see that she’s not in any danger whatsoever!”
Jeni hugged Daniel. His expertise was once again coming back to him. This boy, whose lips she had been just touching, was trying to help save her little girl. How could someone not love him? “Thank you,” she said.
“No problem,” Daniel said with minimal emotion. “No problem at all.”
The plan was stupidly simple. All Elise had to do was dress up similarly to Juliearl and toddle around and be safe. Simple enough. However, getting Juliearl quiet was the main problem.
“Why do I have to leave?” Juliearl questioned. “I live here!”
“We know you live here,” said Jeni, strapping on Juliearl’s red-checked moccasins. “It’s just that someone important is coming over and we need to make sure you aren’t in trouble.”
“The last time you said that, my daddy was watching American Idol and the one he was rooting for lost.”
“He does have an obsession with musical competition shows,” Jeni said under her breath. “Tell you what, when you return, how about we go to Dairy Queen and get you some ice cream?”
“It’s the middle of January.”
“That doesn’t mean ice cream isn’t in season, you little brat!” Elise chimed in. She smiled at Jeni, who looked down at Juliearl with a horrified look. Who knew how she would take that remark?
“I like her.” Juliearl remarked, and went off her merry way out of the house.
“That was easy,” Elise said. “I don’t know you say you have so much trouble with her.”
“She’s a little brat,” Jeni said. “I feel bad for spoiling her so. What’s going to happen when she has to go out into the real world and find that everything isn’t just laying there for her to take advantage of? Why, I think she’d fall into a puddle and drown even!”
After a moment, Elise replied. “You’re probably right.”
Just then, the doorbell rang. Jeni put Elise into place and they got ready to put quite a show for Mr. Wolcottingham. Upon opening the front screen door, Jeni bonked Cade on the nose, starting a gush of blood to run down the porch.
“I’m so sorry!” Jeni cried. “Please, let me get you a napkin or something. Come in!”
“You’re off to a poor start, Hestersee,” he said, eying her suspiciously. Jeni gulped. When Cade gave a failed examination, it stayed on your record forever.
Cade sat down, blood still spurting from his nose. “Aren’t you going to get me a towel?”
Jeni closed the door and ran to get a towel. The only kind she had available for him to use were the family’s nice white towels, used only for guests. Seeing as Cade was a guest, she quickly grabbed one and stuck it under the leaky nostril.
“Much better!” Cade exclaimed. “Now, I see that you have wide open spaces here for the child to play in.”
“I do!” Jeni said happily. This was going to be easier than she thought.
“That’s bad for when you have a fire,” Cade explained. “The child could die of smoke inhalation.”
“I never thought of that…” Jeni whispered.
Cade got up to examine the rest of the house. “I see that you have Dish.”
“I d—,” was all Jeni got out before he continued to comment.
“What about all the naughty channels available to the child on Dish? What if she starts watching the dirty channels available?”
I just can’t win with this man! Jeni thought. But wait…!
“How would you know about those dirty, naughty channels, Mr. Wolcottingham?” Jeni asked coolly.
“I...I wouldn’t…”
“I’m sure you wouldn’t. Now why would I say such things…?”
After some silence, Cade burst out: “I didn’t mean to! It’s just that one time the remote’s batteries were drained and I was too lazy to get some more and I didn’t want to change the channel by hand so I had to watch the channel because it was the only thing on and I don’t care what you think because there!” He broke down and cried.
Jeni went down to his level and patted his back. “It’s alright Cade,” she said. “I won’t say a word about this to anyone.”
Cade sniffed. “Really?” His big blue eyes looked mercifully upon her.
“Why, of course!” Jeni said, getting up, and with a malevolent tone in her voice. “I won’t say a thing unless you drop the charges against my child and me!”
Cade cried out in horror. He couldn’t lose his reputation merely out of blackmail! “What will happen if I don’t drop them?”
“Well, then you’ll just be a laughingstock who watches dirty channels. No one will respect you and your authority at this school will be all but a dream.” Jeni articulated each word.
“Fine!” Cade said, starting to march out the door. “I don’t care! You’re a good mother and don’t let anyone tell you any different!” He slammed the door behind him.
Jeni shouted in ecstasy. She was able to keep her daughter close and safe! Elise’s head popped out from the living room. “Did I even need to be here?”
“Not really,” Jeni replied.
“Well then, I’m outie.” Elise said, grabbing some cookies, peanut butter and a clementine on her way out.