The trio arrives at San Dimas high, guiding the historical figures inside and head towards the auditorium to get ready for their history report. Just as Mr. Ryan was about to dismiss everyone early, the lights went off and the stage lights. "Hello San Dimas" said Ted over the speakers, "Please welcome, for the final report of the afternoon, from all throughout history, some of the greatest people who ever lived, in their 1988 world tour!"
The stage showed each of the historical figures standing on podiums with the phone booth sitting center stage. Billy the Kid makes his way down center stage to open the show.
"How's it going?" asked the cowboy, "I'm Billy the Kid"
The students in the audience chuckled in confusion until Billy the Kid shot one of the stage lights to grab their attention. "I'd like you all to put your hands together" he said, making the students clap, "And now, my good friends, Bill S Preston, Esquire, Victoria 'Tori' Valentine, and Ted 'Theodore' Logan! YEE-HA!"
Billy the Kid takes his place on his podium as the trio make their way center stage with smiles on their faces and the crowd cheers for them. "Hello, San Dimas High!" the trio say in unison.
After Bill greets the audience from Mr. Ryan, his fellow classmates, teaches, even the babes, the show begins.
"Our first speaker was born in the year 470 B.C." said the short blonde male
"A time when much of the world looked liked the cover of the Led Zeppelin album Houses of the Holy" said Ted
"We were there. There were many steps and columns. It was most tranquil."
"He is sometimes known as the father of modern thought" said Tori, "He was the teacher to Plato, who was then turn the teacher of Aristotle. And like Ozzie Osbourne, was repeatedly accused of corruption of the young"
"And since he doesn't speak English, our friend Ted, here, is going to interpret for him" said Bill, "So please welcome, to tell us what he thinks of San Dimas, the most bodacious philosopher in Ancient Greece. Socrates!"
The Greek philosopher takes center stage with the tall brunette translating for his fellow classmates while Bill and Tori stood stage right. Ted tells the students that Socrates loves everyone best in all the world, some of his favorite sports being baseball and billiards. But most of all, he loves San Dimas. The audience clapped and smiled as Socrates takes his bow before going back to his podium for the next historical figure.
Sigmund Freud takes center stage with Ted as his volunteer to speak upon his stress and anxieties to the students. "Therefore, Ted's father's own fear of failure has caused him to make his son the embodiment of all of his own deepest... anxieties about himself." he explained to the audience, "Und hence, his aggression transference onto Ted."
Ted sits up from his seat, feeling like a new version of himself has emerged from within. "Woah" he said in awe as Tori settles him down
"You alright, Ted?" she asked
"Yes" said the tall brunette before turning to the neurologist, "Thank you very much, Sigmund Freud"
Freud glanced at Bill and Tori, seeing if they would like to have a turn in the seat. "Nah, I'm good" said Tori
"Yeah, same" said Bill, "Just got a minor oedipal complex"
"He's kidding"
After Freud went back to his podium, it was time for the next historical figure to take the stage, Mr. Genghis Khan. Ted presented for the students as the barbarian showed off his martial arts skills. "This is a dude who, 700 years ago, totally ravaged China," said Ted, "And who we were told, 2 hours ago, totally ravaged Oshman's Sporting Goods!"
"And as you can see, Genghis very much enjoys Twinkies because of the excellent sugar rush" said Bill
The next historical figure was Joan of Arc, demonstrating her swordsmanship against Bill and Ted while Tori presents to the students. "A bodacious soldier and general, Joan of Arc roused the English from France." she said, "And then turned a man named Dauphin, into a King, all this by the time she was 17"
Bill and Ted were giving it their all while Joan of Arc blocks and attacks their swords without breaking a sweat. "To improve on the condition of her armies, Joan of Arc plans on instituting a full-scale aerobics class on her return to France" said Tori, "And as a female myself, I wouldn't mind joining a class or two"
Napoleon takes center stage as Tori translates his French to the audience. Bill and Ted were sitting at a table as the French man explained his next plan of attack, waterslides. "I don't think it's gonna work" said Ted
Tori translates, "Je ne pense pas que ça va marcher"
"No?" asked Napoleon, slapping his sword on the table to knock the display of soldiers, "Triomphe, Napoleon"
Between the break, the trio handed out some pudding cans for the class to enjoy before their next historical figure takes the stage. This time, it was Ludwig van Beethoven, playing the electric piano as Bill presented to the class. "Beethoven's favorite works include Mozart's requiem, Handel's Messiah, and Bon Jovi's Slippery When Wet" said the short blonde male. The audience jammed to the Pianist's music, the sound echoing through the auditorium until he finished the bang with a bang, earning a plethora of cheers from the students.
It was finally time to present the final historical figure to end the night. "And now, for our last speaker," said Ted, "One of the greatest presidents in American history"
"Please welcome to the stage, Mr. Abraham Lincoln" said Tori as she, Bill, and Ted stood aside so the tall president took center stage. The audience went silent in his presence, listening closely to the honest man standing before them, even the teachers went quiet.
"Fourscore and..." Abraham paused to look at his pocket watch, "Seven minutes ago, we, your forefathers, were brought forth upon a most excellent adventure conceived by our new friends... Bill... Tori... and Ted."
The trop smiled at the tall president as Abraham continued, "These two great gentlemen and this lovely young lady are dedicated to a proposition which was true in my time, just as it's true today."
The students watched with tears in their eyes of the beautiful speech the tall president presented. It was then Abraham ends the report by saying, "Be excellent to each other. And... PARTY ON, DUDES!"
The crowd went wild as the trio realized they finally reached their goal. With a nod from Mr. Ryan from the back, Bill, Tori, and Ted passed their history report with flying colors. "No way!" they say in unison, high fiving and hugging one another at their most triumphant success.
"Thank you, San Dimas High!" said the trio, taking their final bow before heading inside the phone booth. The time machine vanishes right before the school's very eyes, causing them to cheer at the most excellent finale. Once the historical figures are returned to their original timelines, the phone booth appears outside of Bill's garage. Tori was the first to step out of the booth, "We did it!" she cheered, "This is probably the best thing that's ever happened to us!"
"Totally agree with ya, Tori" said Bill
"Yeah, not to mention we got some triumphant gifts from our friends" said Ted
"Dudes, I have an idea" said Tori, "Let's make a time capsule with gifts we got from our historical friends"
Bill and Ted smiled, "Excellent!"
After a quick air guitar, the trio rushed inside the garage to start making their time capsule. The trinkets they placed were Abraham Lincoln's pocket watch, Joan of Arc's rosemary, Genghis Khan's bracelet, Billy the Kid's ace playing card, a gold medallion from Socrates, a music sheet from Beethoven, Sigmund Freud's miniature notebook, and Napoleon's Ziggy Piggy pin. The box was nearly complete, but something felt missing. The trio think for a moment until they hear a knock by the entrance to Bill's Garage. There stood a couple with smiles on their faces, these were Tori's parents Mr. and Mrs. Valentine.
"Mom and Dad?" asked Tori, "What are you guys doing here? I thought you'll be back next week"
"We came back early" said Tori's mom, "We heard about your report and just couldn't miss it"
"Heard you boys were having trouble in history" said Tori's dad, "But boy was that one hell of a performance. Probably your best report yet"
"Thanks, Mr. Valentine" said Bill
The couple noticed the time capsule and smiled at the trio, "Well, it's a good thing we came" said Tori's mom
"What do you mean, Mrs. Valentine?" asked Ted
Mr. Valentine told them that he brought his camera to record the report back at San Dimas High. While the trio was gone, he made a video tape for them to keep if they wish. But now seeing them creating a time capsule, it was the perfect moment to give it to them.
"Woah" said the trio as Mr. Valentine hands them the video tape, the only thing missing was a title. The teenage girl pulls out a sharpie and writes 'The Excellent Report' on the tape before carefully placing it in the box along with the rest of the trinkets. Tori's parents bid their farewells before heading next door for the night. Ted goes into Bill's house to grab the trio some drinks to celebrate, leaving Tori and Bill alone in the garage. The short blonde male was setting the time capsule aside as Tori takes a seat near the drum set and grabs a guitar, playing a few notes to keep herself occupied.
Bill watched in awe as the teenage girl was playing the song 'Don't Stop Believing' on the guitar. The way her fingers moved on the neck of the instrument and the guitar chip brushing against the strings. It was perfect, most triumphant to be exact. The short blonde male then sat beside Tori just as soon as she finished the song. "When did you learn to play?" he asked
"A couple years ago, '' said Tori, "I taught myself how to play guitar 'cause I was bored and wanted to give it a try. That song was the very first one I memorized by heart"
"How come you never asked if you wanna join the band then?"
"Because... I thought you and Ted wouldn't want a girl in Wyld Stallyns"
"No way, we'd love for you to join"
Tori glanced at Bill in shock, "Really?" she asked, "You guys would let me join the band?"
"Of course, babe," said Bill, smiling at his female friend. Tori couldn't help but smile back and scoot closer to the short blonde male. The silence in the garage was somehow comfortable as Bill and Tori stared into each other's eyes. It was as if the world stopped moving as they leaned closer to one another, their eyes slowly closing until their lips touched in perfect harmony. Bill gently placed his hand over Tori's cheek as they kissed, soft and passionate.
The moment they pulled away, the spark was still there from the electrifying kiss. "Woah" said Bill and Tori, surprised by their very first kiss.
"That was..." Tori was trying to find the words to describe the kiss
"Excellent" said Bill
"Yeah, definitely excellent"
"You know, I've wanted to do that for a long time"
"Honestly, so did I"
Bill and Tori smiled as they leaned in for another kiss, until the sound of a can opening and loud slurping was heard. They turned to see Ted sitting in a lounge chair drinking a can of root beer. "How's it going, love bird dudes?" she asked with a goofy grin.
Bill and Tori chuckled as Ted made his way to his friends, handing each of them a can of root beer before taking a seat next to the short blonde male. He raised his can with a smile and said, "A toast, to the most excellent adventure"
Tori raised her can after opening it, "To passing our history report with flying colors"
Bill raised his can, "And to the beginning of Wyld Stallyns!"
The trio spent the rest of the night celebrating their triumphant victory and future plans for the Wyld Stallyns. Little did they know that the future is much brighter than they think.