**Play the song during the beginning part of the chapter for atmospheric reasons!**
"Rise, my children! Rise from your puddled states and become the manna of Heaven!" I gesture dramatically to the griddle, waving my arms around as if I were performing a ritual. "Rise so we may sacrifice you to the god our stomach, we mortal humans call Hunger!"
Orferio laughs his head off, leaning back against the counter. "You're so freaking weird," he says between his laughter. As if Karma was stalking his every move, he slips back and hits his head against a cabinet behind him. He winces sharply but it doesn't break his laughter.
I burst out laughing from my own silliness. "You should have thought of that before you brought me here."
Orferio rubs the back of his head, standing up straight. "Nah. Weird is fun."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Sweetheart, look who you're talking to," Orferio gestures to himself with a mock grin. "Bathroom pervert, remember?"
I roll my eyes, "You're crazy."
"I have no regrets," he smiles proudly.
I flip a few pancakes and flatten them against the back of my spatula. I study their light gold hue and decide to wait to flip the others. "How's it smelling? Have I won my crown yet?"
"It smells better than what our Heaven is supposed to be."
My gaze flicks to him through the corner of my eye. "Supposed to be?"
Orferio shrugs and doesn't offer an explanation. "Anyways, I hope everything's to your liking. I never come in here, I usually order take-out."
"You sure had a lot of ingredients for a guy who doesn't cook," I point out.
He shrugs and yet again, offers no explanation.
It's been like this since we got here. Despite promising to tell me everything, he hasn't brought up the other world since we arrived. It's as if he's avoiding it. He hasn't explained why he has a house in a world he isn't from, how long he's been here, how he is able to afford things since he mentioned he didn't have a job, everything he shrugs off and pretends like my questions were never spoken.
"So... what's that thing you have tonight?" Orferio asks nonchalantly, leaning against the counter behind me.
"Huh?"
"The thing you had planned," he clarifies, "the reason why we couldn't go out tonight."
"Oh..." My voice falters. I felt a rush of sadness as the memories I wish I'd forget come back. I almost forgot about my conversation with Maya and my desperate hope she'll show up at the Stump tonight. Why did I think she'd believe me now if she didn't before? Am I just hurting myself by continuing to hope?
"I might meet a friend tonight," I answer quietly.
"Might?"
"It's Maya. Our fight... I asked her to meet me tonight. I wanted to prove to her that the other world existed...I wanted to show her something important, something to trigger her memories... but I guess..."
Orferio watches me carefully. "You don't think she'll come?"
I shake my head. "I hope she does. Living here... it's like a prison. She doesn't deserve that. However, if she didn't believe in the beginning, why would she change her mind now?"
"You could get lucky," Orferio offers, though he doesn't sound optimistic. "But you said life here is like a prison? Why is that?"
I sigh as I check another pancake. It isn't isn't ready to be flipped.
"You'll call me crazy if I explain. It's fine, don't worry about it."
Orferio slowly walks towards me. His hand extends to me briefly before pulling back. "I understand crazy. Trust me. You can tell me anything."
I shoot him a fearful look. "You already think I'm weird."
What if I ruin this?
Orferio's eyes narrow with sincerity. Soon he's practically standing over me. "I promise I won't think you're crazy."
I exhale sharply, "I've heard that one before," I say doubtfully.
"I'm serious."
"That one too."
He studies me with sympathy in his eyes. I cringe and turn away from him, "I don't need your pity."
"You've had it rough, haven't you?" he asks quietly.
I stare down at my pancakes, gripping my spatula as tightly as I can. I breathe in the sweet smell, trying to comfort myself with pancakes. He's making it difficult to ignore. I don't want to tell him everything. I don't want him to know the truth about me and how badly I handled being in the real world.
"I think you need to tell me what you remember," he says, beginning to slip his fingers into my ponytail. Gently, he tugs it out of its tie and lets it free. "You're hiding something from me. You're a terrible liar, Juliette."
What if he hates me for it?
He begins to trace a line up the back of my neck. His breath is soft on my skin. I can't ignore the way he's making my heart flutter. It's distracting.
Dark memories begin to creep back into my mind.
Orferio's rage takes physical form within my dreams. He takes the form of crackling blue lightning. Fierce. Uncontrollable. Filled to the brim with torment and anger. He's screaming at a dark figure with neon blue light painting his olive toned skin. Blood seeps from Orferio's mouth, pooling at his feet. He grips a pulsing, black mass in his trembling hand.
The figure collapses to the ground in a heap of rotting black robes.
Orferio turns to me with a sadistic smile before holding the black mass out to me.
The heart of his latest victim.
The scene changes and I remember the last word on my lips as the world was torn from me.
I was screaming for help. For mercy.
For Orferio.
Remembering different parts of a person can change an entire perspective. It's like seeing through a pair of specific lenses that only allows you to see their anger, or happiness. One moment could change it all and sully their character. Or lift them from darkness.
I might be remembering the wrong things. They could be twisted by trauma. These memories of him could be entirely fake, a product of nightmares. Or they are the bitter truth I refuse to acknowledge.
"It sounds insane," I mumble as I pull my hair back into a ponytail.
"I know insanity, you don't need to hide it from me." His voice is heavy with regret.
"Why do you want to know?" I ask helplessly.
"If you're asking that, you already remember me."
"I don't," I turn to face him, giving him a pleading look. "Or, I don't want to. I think my dreams messed with my real memories."
Orferio raises an eyebrow.
I point at him with the spatula. "It's been four years of nightmares and things in between. My memories..." I trail off, "they could be altered..."
"Tell me what you see."
"You'll hate me." I close my eyes to block out his penetrating gaze. "I don't believe it, okay? It's crazy, I don't want to hurt you."
Suddenly he's laughing.
I open my eyes in surprise.
He takes me by the shoulders and forces me to face him. Orferio leans down, inches from my face, "You're so innocent, Juliette. I love that about you."
"But..."
"Don't force yourself," Orferio encourages, "just ignore it all if you want." His eyes begin to light up with hope, "Forget everything, I won't force you. If those memories scare you, then just get rid of them. We can start over, make new memories together. We don't need the past."
I gape at him. "What...?"
Orferio smiles handsomely. "Come on, love. Let's forget reality together. Like we said we always would. We don't need to remember the past."
"Orferio..." I whisper carefully. "We can't just..."
"We can," he urges, holding me tighter. "You said it once before. If reality destroys our dreams, then let our dreams destroy reality. We can make a new life for ourselves."
"A new life? Orferio, I don't think we can—"
"I can do it," he swears, "I can make sure we never have to deal with the past again. We can finally be free, Juliette. Please, just let it go."
The desperation in his eyes is clear as day. Now he wants me to forget everything? Does that mean he's trying to hide something from me? Or deny what I already know?
"Stop," I finally say, turning back to the pancakes. "Just stop. I don't want to forget. I've spent too much time trying to remember, I can't give up now."
The pancakes are still not ready.
Orferio sighs in disappointment. "Fine."
I wince but since my back is turned, he didn't see it.
Uneasy silence passes between us making it difficult to focus on anything else. Finally, when I couldn't take it anymore, I blurt, "If you really want to know why I feel trapped, then I can tell you."
I glance over my shoulder to find him poking around inside his cabinets. He looks over at me, guarded. He nods once, signalling me to begin.
"It all began with returning here. Life was never the same since I remembered just enough about the other world. Just enough... to drive me insane. My friends never believed me. They thought it was the trauma talking. Maya used to believe too, until the therapists got to her. I tried to convince them I was telling the truth, but I was also afraid of losing my friends."
"In the end... after trying to use the book to summon somebody from the other side, they panicked and told me to stop believing in fantasies. I couldn't do it. I knew I was right, so I left them behind and they shut me out."
Orferio presses his lip together. "Sounds like you shut them out first."
Anger flares inside my chest. "No," I say firmly. "They shut me out for not agreeing with them. They tried to take the book from me, they tried to stop me."
Orferio raises an eyebrow, skeptical but says nothing.
I scoff and turn back to the griddle. "Nevermind then," I mutter, "guess you don't want to hear it."
"I didn't say that," he corrects. "But I think you've been isolating yourself over this."
Shame and frustration fills my head. "You don't understand."
"I'd understand better than anyone."
I turn on him, "And why is that?"
Orferio studies me for a beat. "Because I've been there. And I've seen it before. You're wallowing in self-pity because they didn't believe you."
"Your desperation for friends left you all alone. You can't stomach the idea that you did this to yourself. Pride before fall."
"I wasn't wrong," I argue, my throat tightening with frustration. "Was I?"
Orferio shrugs, "No. But you handled it wrong."
"And who are you to judge?" I demand. "As of right now, I know nothing about you. Why the heck should I listen to a word you say, liar?"
Orferio crosses the room within seconds and stands over me, pushing me against the counter. Suddenly, I'm pinned against the island counter. His hands on my shoulders. His face in mine.
A dominating pose, yet the anger I feel doesn't diminish. It only grows stronger.
I stare directly into his eyes, daring him to hurt. I'm asking for a fight, and I know he'll give it to me. For the first time in years, I felt a surge of rage. Something deep. Suppressed. As if this were an unresolved issue from the deepest part of my past.
And what's most surprising is that I want to be angry with him. I want to yell at him. I want to hit him. I want to scream at him for things I don't fully understand yet. The rush of intense emotions awakens my dull heart.
The intense emotions only acquired in the other world.
"You have no idea what game you're playing," he warns, his voice low.
"And I suppose you do?" I ask, trying to sit up.
"I do. And if you don't stop this, we'll both lose. Do you understand?"
"This has nothing to do with what we're talking about," I scowl at him. "You're accusing me of being stupid."
Orferio rolls his eyes in disbelief. "I think you've gone too long without somebody telling you to snap out of it."
"Says the guy asking to run away from our problems."
"I'm playing a different game than you. That has nothing to do with this."
"Then what are you doing now? Who the hell are you, Orferio? Other than a liar, which you keep bringing up."
Orferio's eyes narrow, I swear his pupils turned into slits. "If I told you, nothing would be the same."
"It isn't the same now," I argue. "Tell me about the other world, tell me about you, you can't hide that from me forever. Sooner or later, I'll regain my memories and you can't stop that."
"I could," he purrs. His gaze lingers on my lips. "I could easily make the pain go away."
I shake my head, stubborn. "I won't let you."
"You'd rather sit there and suffer?" he questions. "You would rather wallow in self-pity and destroy yourself over the opinions of others?"
I squeeze my eyes shut, holding on the chance he might disappear if I ignore him. I turn my head to the side, feeling the cold surface of the counter against my cheek. "You can't force me to do anything."
"I'm trying to get you to see the obvious."
"And I'm telling you to stop accusing me."
"Your pride is almost as bad as mine," he mutters to himself. Then louder, "If you're going to return to the other world, you need to get over this. Let your friends go and stop blaming them for trying to help you. You don't need them anymore. Why hold onto the past?"
"They abandoned me," I argue fiercely.
"They didn't. You said they tried to talk you out of it. They stood by you this entire time, but you pushed them away when they didn't believe you. You have it twisted. And I can't bear to see you go down that path."
Something in the back of my mind clicks.
The words flow out without my full control.
"You don't want me to become evil."
Orferio blinks a few times. He stares at me before slowly nodding. "You're going down a dark path. In the other world..." his grip slowly loosened, "you convinced me not to continue down my path. You might not have realized it, but you... saved me."
My anger wavers.
"I did?"
"It's time I return the favor," he sighs, "in the past, I would have tried to convince you to join me. To revel in your rage and seek revenge against your friends for rejecting you. But I can't. I can't believe I'm doing this, but please don't go down that path."
The pain in his eyes wrenches my heart. I stare at him, stunned by his words.
Suddenly, the dark memories make sense. His strange words, his passing mentions of being a liar, and running away together...
Orferio was the villain. He was the evil we had to save the world from.
Our meeting was no accident. His avoidances to the past, his worry about what I remember... he wants to know how I remember him.
As a villain, or as the boy in front of me. Or something else entirely.
He's trying to convince me to remain good. He's trying to save me.
As I did for him.
Orferio watches expectantly. Waiting for my final answer.
I take a deep breath, already embarrassed by my sudden outburst. I close my eyes. Then finally decide.
"Okay. I'll... work on letting it go. I will try to forgive them."
The shame of admitting I was wrong felt horrible. Like swallowing a maggot. I hate it with every fiber of my being, but I do it.
I did it.
Relief crashes over him. The intensity fades from his eyes leaving him as lighthearted as he was earlier. Finally, he released me and took a step back. "That's good."
I take a few deep breaths, standing up straight. I glance over at my pancakes and find they are ready to be flipped. I take up my spatula and silently flip the remainder of the pancakes. "Good."
Orferio scans the kitchen a few times before heading over to the fridge. I saw a quick flash of light inside it before he pulled out an obsidian colored bottle of wine. I raise an eyebrow at him. "Wine?"
He smirks over his shoulder as he sets it on the counter. "We have to celebrate, of course."
"I don't drink, and I'm underage."
He shrugs, "Not from what I remember."
I stare at him, "I drank in the other world?"
He smiles slyly. "Sometimes. Four years of war and saving the world is a lot of stress."
I blush and focus on my pancakes again. "Wow."
Orferio pops the cork out and offers me the entire bottle. "This was your favorite. It's called Darkened Rose."
I raise an eyebrow, curious. "And you're giving me the entire bottle?"
He chuckles, "If you want."
"I don't know..."
"Come on, one sip won't kill you. You've been through a lot today. You should take a load off. Relax." Orferio smiles wider, offering me the bottle again.
I eye it cautiously. "I don't want to get drunk..."
"One sip, sweetheart."
"Why are you so set on it?" I ask suspiciously.
"If you drink, I'll tell you everything. No secrets," He grins like the Cheshire Cat. "Everything," he adds smugly.
I roll my eyes. "You should tell me, regardless if I drink."
Orferio pouts, "You're no fun."
"We have pancakes, that's fun!"
Orferio sighs dramatically before knocking back the bottle. He drinks for a bit before lowering it. He coughs quietly before smiling broadly. "See? It's totally safe."
"Are you even legal?"
"I'm practically immortal, sweetheart. And even when I wasn't, I didn't care."
I jump, "Immortal?" I study him closely before my gaze falls on his lips. "Are you a vampire?"
He growls playfully, "Why? You have a thing for them?"
In the back of my mind, I think of Twilight and my love for Edward. But I pretend like I'm not a total die-hard Twilight fan. "No, you said you were immortal."
"Basically. I don't age and I can't die of old age, if you want to know the details."
"Why?"
He scoffs, "What do you mean why? Because I am."
"Are all people from your world immortal?"
"No," his expression dims, "just my brother and I."
"You mentioned a brother, " I comment lightly, "is he nice?"
Orferio offers me the bottle again. "Drink and I'll tell you."
"Isn't that peer pressure?"
"We aren't the same age," he points out in an obvious voice. "Besides, I'd rather not talk about him."
I search my memories for the image of his brother, but nothing comes up. Does he hate his brother? What did he do? Is his brother the reason why he understands insanity?
"What do you remember about him?" he asks finally.
"Nothing," I admit. "Was he...?"
"Bad?" he guesses. "No. Quite the opposite. I don't blame him for it. It was the easiest path to take."
"Easiest path?"
"Drink."
I shake my head and plate up the pancakes. "I won't drink, but I won't push you if you really don't want to talk about it. Tell me when you're ready."
Orferio's gaze softens with relief. "Thanks."
I offer him a plate of pancakes with a warm smile. "Here. A truce."
Orferio breaks into a grin and takes the plate. His fingers brush over mine. He leads me into the living room of his large house. It reminds me of a mansion with a large entryway which could be the size of a building lobby. The tall ceilings cause our voices to echo. There is little to no decoration in the house, aside from a few pieces of furniture.
It doesn't look lived in.
The living room has two couches with a fireplace built into the wall. A large flat screen hangs from the wall above the fireplace but remains black. Large windows allow the light to come through, though the clouds begin to steal away the rays of sun. Orferio sits down on the largest couch and I take the other one beside it.
The pancakes are warm and taste amazing with his syrup. I didn't recognize the brand but he claimed he bought it online. My pancakes turned out beautifully. They are a perfect golden hue with a fluffy texture. Some of their edges are slightly crisp making it satisfying to bite into.
We take a moment to truly enjoy the pancakes and soon our stomachs are full. I sigh happily and sink into the leather couch.
I pat my tight stomach and smile to myself. "Told yah I was the Queen of Pancakes."
Orferio hums, though it sounds like a moan he's trying to hide, and sighs. "Stars, remind me never to doubt your cooking skills again."
"You got it."
He sits up and sets his plate on the coffee table next to us. I blink a few times at the coffee table, unsure if that was there before. Maybe I just missed it.
"So... can you please tell me about the other world? I'm dying here," I plead, batting my eyes at him.
Orferio ponders it before nodding. "I guess so. As a reward for your amazing pancakes."
"So..."
"So... what do you want to know?"
"First, why were we there in the first place?"
"I assume it was because you were called upon by the Council of Stars. You and Maya were the Chosen Ones meant to save the world," he explains casually. "You were brought there and trained by my brother to become their champions. You were a part of an army unit called the Flowers."
I listen intently, nodding slowly. "How long were we there?"
"Four years. You were eighteen when you left."
I'm eighteen right now.
"And you are just as beautiful," Orferio adds, his lips curving up into a devastating smile. "Nothing has changed, aside from the weight loss."
I smile awkwardly before gesturing for him to continue. "Why were we sent back?"
Orferio reaches up, crossing his hands at the back of his neck, and leans back to stretch his legs out. "It's a bit complicated. Basically, the Council thought you finished your job. That, or they thought you died in the explosion so they sent your bodies back."
"What?"
"You were on a secret mission to destroy..." He watches me carefully, "Do you understand who I am, yet?"
I hesitate before nodding, deciding I shouldn't lie to him. "I do. You... were the one who we were supposed to defeat, right?"
Orferio nods. "Yeah," he says quietly. "Anyways, you and I spent a lot of time together during your mission. The other Flowers believed you were either being held hostage or betrayed them so they sent Maya in after you. She blew up the fortress and you were sent back to this world through a portal."
"A portal..." I echo.
"It's a way to travel between the different worlds. Portals are usually created by a device."
"Like... a book?"
He raises an eyebrow. "Was it a book?"
I shrug, "Maybe?"
"During portal travel, things can go wrong... maybe the explosion caused your memory loss? It's just a theory, though. If you see my brother again, you should ask him."
"Your brother... he's the leader of the Flowers?"
"Yeah. The Council's golden boy. They gave him the powers to protect the universe from evil. He can do whatever the hell he can dream of with this."
"There are powers in the other world?"
"Yes. Of course. How else would we fight?"
I shake my head and gesture for him to keep going. These are the most answers I've gotten out of him. "Do you have powers?"
"Of course. But somebody else gave them to me."
"Who?"
"Another time. Anyways, this labeled me as 'evil' and the Council decided to set my own brother on killing me and taking my powers from me. I created the Chaos Bringers to protect myself and allied myself with the Shadows, more of a third party, to fight against my brother, the Council, and the Flowers. This includes you."
"Wow..."
"When you guys disappeared, everybody assumed you 'ascended' or died. I went looking for you... and stumbled across an open portal," he explains, scanning the living room a few times. As if he were paranoid. "I sensed you through it, so I entered and found myself here."
"Why was the portal open?"
"Who knows," he shrugs, "but it worked out in the end. I found you first."
I smile at that and allow his words to finally settle in.
It's all true.
Some of my random memories begin to make more sense. The idea of multiple worlds and portals fits perfectly with the glimpses of swirling tunnels of light. And the last thing I remember about the other world was a wall of fire which lines up with the explosion.
I spent time with Orferio before I left. It must be why we have a connection now.
"So what do you think?" he asks, tilting his head. "Now that you know?"
I stare at my lap for a moment. Orferio is the bad guy. The one we were set to defeat. But he seems different now. He said I saved him and he wanted to return the favor. Does that mean I can trust him?
"Are you... on my side now?" I ask finally. "You aren't attacking me... you're helping me."
Orferio nods slowly, "I'm on your side. I won't attack you. I owe you too much to do that."
I smile gratefully, "Thanks for not killing me."
He smirks, "You're welcome."
I look around the darkening living room before my gaze lands on him again. He runs his hands through his black hair a few times. "If you're here... does that mean we won...?"
He shakes his head, "No. Not exactly. You guys disappeared and I was alive. It's more of a forfeit."
"Good thing," I comment, offering him a small smile. "I kinda like having you around."
Orferio laughs and waves me off. "You're only saying that because you lost your memory."
"I've got a feeling I'd say it anyways," I reply quietly.
Orferio begins to play with the edge of his jacket. "That's why I think we stand a chance."
"We didn't before?"
"Too complicated. But now we can start over."
"You mean..." I swallow hard and look back down at my lap. Is this his way of asking me out? "Can we even do that?"
Do I like him? What do I know about him? Should I risk my heart like this?
"It might be a bit soon, but we've got time now."
I slowly rise to my feet and walk over to him. I stand in front of him for a moment, earning an odd look. I take a deep breath and offer my hand to him. He takes it hesitantly.
"I want to know you again," I admit, curiosity getting the better of me. Not only that, but my romantic fantasies are running wild. I felt my heart dangle from a string inside my chest. Inhaling deeply, I finally say, "If we were in love, I'd like to fall in love with you again."
Orferio's eyes widened in shock. Those dark blue eyes of his fill with hope, softening his features. He looks younger. "Juliette..."
"You... care about me. You told me the truth, despite the risk. You're funny, sarcastic... you protected me. I don't understand these feelings yet, but I hope to soon." I rub my thumb over his hand thoughtfully. "If you promise to stay on my side... I'll stay on your's."
Orferio's hand tightens around mine. He pulls me towards him and I almost face-plant on him. I gasp as he catches me and holds me close to his chest.
"You have no idea how happy I am," he confesses in a rush, whispering into my ear. "Let's do this together, Juliette."
I break into a warm smile as a rush of emotions floods my chest. I close my eyes and lean closer to him, keeping myself balanced on his lap. I press my head against his shoulder, wrapping my arms around him.
"Memories or not, I remember how happy I was in the field of poppies. Your memory... kept me going. It gave me hope." I pull back slightly, catching a glimpse of his shining eyes. "I trust you, even if you call yourself a liar. You were right about me, so I'll trust your judgement."
He searches my expression, as if he wanted to look deeper into me. For a second, he appeared guilty before he watched me softly. It warms like a flame. He chuckles to himself, holding me close, "You deserve the universe, my love."
"You deserve every ounce of love the universe has to offer."
After a long moment of loving gazes, I felt my heart melt into a happy puddle. Romance is foreign territory, but damn does it feel good.
I think I just rediscovered the source of paradise in my memories. The happiness, the blissful feelings between the nightmares. It's love. And I think it's for Orferio.
And deep down, I know he's drawn to me too. Like a moth to the flame, he won't leave me like everybody else.
He'll stay with me, no matter what. Until the light runs out.
A small note to add is that Juliette is a flawed character at heart and that's evident throughout the book! What are your thoughts on her? Your thoughts on Orferio? Also, this book is the first time I actually tried my hand at love, whether it be toxic or pure. How am I doing? Thanks for reading!