I'm feeling devastated, tomorrow is Monday and it's also the end of my spring break. Oh how I wish I could travel back in time and spend more time in Santorini with my friends.
Well, I know I barely edited these last few days but that was a good explanation, one that is a secret for now but it won't be for long, so keep on checking my profile to get a little sneak peak of what I may be working on.
With no further do, let's get going with the chapter.
Enjoy!
Anne
Edited in: 31/03/16
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Chapter 33: In a sea of people, my eyes will always search for you
Katherine's P.O.V.
"Hello again Douglas" I greeted the flower shop delivery guy "Ready to tell me who's the sweet guy that has been sending me flowers all week?"
"Can't do" He told me smiling "Just be glad there is something caring for you" Douglas reminded me like he has done every day of the week "He really likes you, you know he's the one sending us the quotes through email, he picks them every night to make sure you smile when I hand it over to you"
"I would love to know who's behind all of this, I want to thanks the lovely guy for making me so happy" I explained blushing "If he doesn't show me who he is then how am I supposed to know who I'm falling for?"
"That's up to you to find out, the mystery of it it's the best part" Douglas replied giving me another frangipani before walking away and back to his van.
I closed the door behind me resting my back against it as I checked the time. It was six in the afternoon, the same time each flower arrives every day. Whoever is behind this planned it to perfection, every quote gets sweeter than the last one and for an instance I know this guy goes to my school or is a friend of mine. Two days ago I was feeling beaten down and the quote coming with the flower the next day was all about how I should valorise my worth and love myself as much as I can.
I flipped the tag around to read today's lines. I smiled when I saw them and bit my lower lip. 'In a sea of people, my eyes will always search for you'
Strangely I was beginning to have feelings for this faceless admirer, through the quotes he sent and every little detail on the flowers, he showed me how much he cared about me and not many guys do that. I've distanced myself from Cody ever since the flowers started coming, and although I know it's a terrible thing to do after I vented my feelings to him, I couldn't help it but adore the flower gentleman.
The frangipanis are never equal, the first one was yellow in the middle and faded into white petals, but as the days passed the petals of the flowers arriving started gaining warmer colours. Today's one was quite orangey which is a lovely colour, especially that shade of orange that reminds me of a sunset sky.
I've been planting every flower, a few inches away from each other so they will grow together and create a larger tree with a mix of frangipani colours. My mom hates me for taking up most of her free space on our little garden, but I really don't care. These flowers mean more than just an admirer, and I want to look at them every day when I wake up, the flowers will grow as well as my feelings towards the person that sent them.
Christmas break started this week and although the weather has been hotter than ever before I haven't grabbed my surfboard yet. Michael keeps on sending everyone snaps of how good the waves are now that summer is at its climax.
All my free time now is spent on working on more art, paintings and sculptures, but photography has been left aside for some reason. So right after I planted the flower next to the others and washed my hands from all the soil stuck in my nails, I ran upstairs and grabbed my camera.
Quickly switching the lens of my camera to one that allows me to have a wider field of view, I put on my flip flops and pocket my keys along with some money for an ice cream. An Australian can not just walk past the best ice cream shop in the whole universe and not get in to buy a biscuit and peanut butter ice cream.
With my cute round sunnies on I walked to the beach to take some cool photos to add to my graphic journal. Ever since I got my first camera I have been documenting my life through images, at this point I own seven graphic journals, one for each year. Only last year my photos started to become better, no only I had a more quality camera, I also was bitten by the photography bug.
"Want to take photos of hot fellas?" Someone whispered in my ear making me spun around on my flip flops only to find Josh staying there with his surfboard in hand and with a smile on his lips "Because I'm slaying this new wetsuit" He showed me a ridiculous pose as I tried my best to contain the laugh on my throat.
"You sure are" I replied shaking my head "I was just heading to the beach to get some cool shots, and if you don't mind me asking, can I take a couple shots of you surfing? I feel like I don't document enough one of the things I love to do"
"Sure" Josh told me "I really want a good photo of me surfing to hang on my bedroom, can you do the job?"
"Please, it's me we are talking about" I gushed flipping my hair back dramatically before we both bursted into a fit of laugh.
***
Cody was the one who taught me how to properly surf, my father tried to teach me plenty of times but he was too bossy and didn't understand that I was a small girl afraid of the big ocean. To my excuse sharks in Australia are quite aggressive and in my little mind I thought they were always near the coast, thanks god that's not the case. Most of the days, that is.
The fact that surfing reminds me of Cody and his frustrated expression every time I fell off my surfboard and face first in the water, may be one of the motives I like it so much, I messed around with him during the lessons, and even though after a few lessons I was already able to catch some waves, I would fall on purpose just to push him to the limit. Never once Cody gave up on teaching me, and believe me I wouldn't blame him if he had.
Josh was able to catch some awesome waves without falling and as for me, I was able to take brilliant photos of him doing so. I stood on top of a few rocks to have a better point of view of Josh and his surfboard. I definitely like to try new things with my camera and sport photos is one of them, they are probably the hardest to take, but they are so cool to edit and then hand around in the house.
Pulling out my phone I took a selfie trying to seem relaxed and happy. I may be a photography lover, but I like to post a good selfie sometimes, it's my guilty pleasure after Tim Tams of course.
I took a deep breath inhaling the salty breeze as I closed my eyes and rested my body back supporting it with my elbows. I can't imagine a person in this world that doesn't enjoy to simply feel the sand between their toes and the smell of salt in the air, it's the best of nature, truly I can't stand the idea of those feelings being restricted to Australians, because if so, the whole world is being left out of the most amazing feelings there is.
When I opened my eyes again, the sun was starting to dive into the horizon creating strands of colours such as warm orange and pale pink in the clear light indigo sky. I smiled as I watched the colours intensify and before I knew Josh was sat next to me enjoying a slow show of the nature.
"Sunset was always my favourite time of the day" I spoke up breaking the relaxing silence.
I snapped a photo of the scenario rolling down right in front of my eyes before standing up carefully in the black coloured rock under my feet. The world around me always triggered some curiosity in my system, for example, why are the sunsets so beautiful if they lead to a dark night sky? Sure there is a scientific explanation for it, or maybe there isn't since beauty is subjective.
I've always thought of it as your last chance to do something before being involved by darkness, and worst, your thoughts. The end of a day can be well welcomed, it all depends on the perspective, just like a good photo.
"What are you planning to do once he's back?" Josh asked me while helping me down the rocks as I held my camera in my hand.
"I don't know" I admitted shutting my shoulders.
We walked through the sand towards the border that defines where the street ends and where the beach starts. It's a blurred border, once you notice you just passed from the busy streets to the beach calmness. Josh seemed to be thinking about my answer, maybe I should know what to do when Cody comes back but I've got a lot on my plate right now, starting from the project we were handed before vacation begun to my still faceless admirer, I haven't had much to time to think about Cody and I.
"Just know that Cody doesn't give up on people that care about him, but as soon as you give up on him, he will fly away" Josh warned me looking serious as he spoke "No one can guarantee you he won't break your heart, just like nothing guarantees him that you won't break his, but that isn't a thing that only happens between you and Cody, the truth is that the only man in your life who will never break your heart, it's your father"
He had a point, a great one that is. Against facts there are no arguments they say, I never actually believed it though, probably because I'm as stubborn as an artist trying to come up with a great painting, yet Josh blew me away. I know no one can guarantee me Cody or any other boy won't break my heart and the only man I can trust is my dad.
"I know all of that" I stated exhaling "I just want Cody to know that if we are ever going date or anything like that, we have to be sure of what we truly want" I explained feeling mentally drained.
"What do you want?" He asked me curious.
"I want him for as long as possible"
***
"I lost my flight, beautiful" I overheard dad's voice as I walked into my house quietly "I booked another flight, but it's in two weeks from now"
"Edward it's okay" My mom spoke up with disappointment clearly dripping from her voice.
"No, it's not love, but I promise I will be home by your birthday, I wouldn't miss my angel's big day" He promised quickly trying to put a smile on my mom's voice.
Weirdly, I always envied my parents' love, they have been through a lot ever since they met, especially my mom's early pregnancy, but the thing is that they never let the spark cease, not even a little bit. To this day, my parents idea of romantic date is a picnic by the beach with a little walk down the shoreline and a movie session back home - my mom dresses my dad's shirt and they cuddle throughout the whole movie.
If I have that when I get to their age, then I'll be happy, I'm sure of it.
"I thought I was your angel" I protested loudly as I walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water.
My mom was cooking dinner, with her hair in a messy bun and an apron covering her expensive outfit. She always manages to look beautiful, even while cooking, I on the other hand, look quite ridiculous every time I'm doing something artsy - yes, cooking is also an art and my mom is to cooking what Vicent Van Gogh is to art.
"I have four angels in my life, your mom just happens to be the one that holds my heart" My father explained making my mom smile.
Even through a laptop my dad had the ability to make my mom smile. I wish I had someone that loved me just a third of how much my dad loves my mom. I mean I have the flower admirer, but he's not revealing his face anytime soon and I can't date flowers.
"Four?" My mom asked confused. As a business man my father is a genius when it comes to math, but by the looks of it he couldn't do a simple one plus one count "The last time I checked, we only had two daughters, and you only had one wife"
"Sure, but I have a mother and she may be annoying, but we all love her" Dad replied making me laugh.
"Nana's great!" I exclaimed "She is a great baker and she treats us like babies that need to be constantly fed, what's there not to like?"
"The fact that she wants me to gain twenty pounds so your father will divorce me and start dating a younger, skinnier woman?" Mom murmured while chopping some vegetables furiously.
"I wouldn't divorce you even if you gained one hundred pounds, I love you Madison, you put in this world our lovely daughters that mean the world to me, when I fell for you my heart knew you had all those amazing qualities to keep me happy even when I can't walk properly"
The words coming from my mom's laptop were from a serious man deeply in love with not only his wife but also his life. For goodness' sake they make it impossible to live around, they make me feel like my love life is a waste of my time because not even in a million years I'm going to be as loved as they are.
"This is my cue to leave" I murmured before they could start flirting with each other making me even more jealous and a slightly bit grossed out.
I stole a baby carrot from the chopped veggies and ran upstairs to laid down for a bit while mom prepared dinner and flirted with my father in a way that I have never flirted with anyone. They like to keep their flame burning and it seems so easy, in the meantime I start laughing nervously every time someone says I'm pretty.
I closed my door behind me plugging in my earphones Nd grabbing an old looking book my grandma gave me a few weeks ago. I started scanning the lines slowly reading the words while trying not to fall asleep to the soft sway of the melody in my ears.
Cody's P.O.V.
In my free time during touring I always try to compose a few lines of new songs or come up with new rhythms, as I travel around I get inspired by my fans and the places I visit so it becomes easier to write songs that aren't love related.
Ever since Katherine asked to have her alone time I try to busy myself more and more, but eventually I run out of inspiration and I'm forced to look for something else to do, which takes me to this afternoon. After I finished playing around with my guitar strings I looked around thinking about what to do next.
"Tom?" I called for my little brother as the idea of being beaten up by him in some Super Mario game invaded my mind.
When he didn't answer I got up from the couch and searched for the kid, most of the times he is in his bunk listening to music and solving some equations. I checked every inch of the bus and still I couldn't find my little brother anywhere. I huffed slopping down in the couch again pondering either I should or shouldn't play the game by myself. It's not the same without Tom beating me, I don't even like the game, I play it because seeing Tom get frustrated every time I get lucky and score a few more points than him is ridiculously amusing.
"He's out with your sister" Kylie announced as she sat down next to me wearing only a pair of shorts and a sweater.
One day I still want someone to explain me why do some girls dress for summer when it's in fact cold winter. I was wearing a pair of sweatpants and at least three shirts with a hoodie on top.
If in her little mind she thought I was going to warm her up then she could forget it.
"Thanks" I said as I grabbed my phone to play some game lost there.
"You know, if you're bored I have a few suggestions for you" She spoke up sexily while I tried to ignore her and stop my eyes from rolling.
"I'm fine, I may go back to sleep and all" I replied typing away on my phone.
"But there's so much more we can do..." She whispered in my ear making me stop playing and state ahead biting my lip so I wouldn't let go of a sarcastic remark.
"I'm not interested" I stated not dating to look at her knowing quite well she was bent over the couch trying to seduce me with her curves.
"Hmm so your sweetheart won't mind receiving these nasty photos of us, I mean she already saw us kissing, she knows we are together and like to get dirty" She whispered in my ear running her hands down my body.
"There's no nasty photos of us" I laughed getting up to look at her position.
She must be desperate to even think about putting herself in an uncomfortable position and threat me with non existent photos of us. I don't understand why Kylie is all over me, she thought I was just a normal innocent kid in the past and that hasn't changed much, moreover I already told her that her feelings are in no way reciprocal, she should have let it go.
"Oh really? That's not what my phone says" She turned her phone to me with a confident smirk on her face.
There was in fact some disgusting photos of her there. I snapped it away from her hand swiping through the photos only to get more sickened by every photo. The origin of those pictures was foreign to me and at his point I'm afraid to know why is this girl so into me.
"How?" I asked irked up as I threw her phone to the couch almost hitting her.
"Did you know you're an heavy sleeper?" She laughed staring at me while biting her lower lip "It would have been better if you were awake, but by the sounds you made I'm guessing you really liked it"
"What did you do to me?!" I screamed feeling disgusted of my own body.
When I accepted this agreement I never expected the girl would visit me at night and try to rape me or whatsoever. If I could I would have thrown her out the bus and break up with her right in front of the girls outside, she had no right to do this let alone blackmail me with it.
"Oh nothing major" She said brushing her black hair with her long fingers "I kissed you... In many places"
Instantly I felt the chocolate chip pancakes I had for breakfast ascend to my throat. I was able to stop myself from vomiting all over the place, leaving me with a nauseous feeling in my stomach.
The taste of those delicious pancakes also reminded me of how I hadn't had lunch yet and it was practically three o'clock.
"You are ridiculous Kylie, delete those photos before I talk to Scooter and break this stupid agreement" I warned her serious.
"I have nothing to lose, but you, on the other hand, well... You may lose your beloved girl" Kylie said laughing like a maniac "So let me tell you how this is going down" She got up walking towards me as she looked smug "We are going to play by my rules"
"Over my dead body" I growled staring down at her angrily.
"Either we take this easy, or Katherine will get a broken heart and a few pictures of her friend's manhood" Kylie told me laughing. When I didn't object she kept on going "Like I thought"
I looked at her feeling disgusted by my life at the moment. She deserved to be punished, but I wasn't going to do it, karma is going to get to her, I'm sure of it, it always does.
Taking a deep breath to avoid punching the living lights out of her I pushed her aside walking to my bunk and grabbing my jacket I got out the bus. I needed a walk, the feeling of the cool breeze to clear my mind and the time alone to figure out what to do about this situation.
Getting through the thick crowd of girls wanting photos and hugs wasn't as easy as I thought, but after a few fake smiles and tight hugs to make them happy, I stormed out telling the unlucky ones that I really had to do this thing in that place. I'm not good with excuses but then again they were so dazzled with my three days old stubble that they didn't even care.
It's funny how they think I let it grow on purpose when in fact I'm just too lazy to shave. Every guy goes through the struggle of shaving, because we only remember we need it when we take that late night shower and we really just want to go to bed and have a good night of sleep, but we have to shave. Long story short, we procrastinate so activity until we look terrible and decided to shave.
I zipped up my jacket to keep some warmth in. Some places in Australia can be bipolar, although it's summer in the whole country, the South is always colder and due to a storm coming from Antarctica the whole south froze - not really, but quite. I don't mind the cold anymore and if Australia is beautiful on summer, then on winter it's breathtaking.
I stopped at Starbucks to get a warm drink, not only to melt my insides that were literally starting to freeze, but also to comfort me. That was most likely the worst part of not having Kate these last few years, she was the one I would seek comfort in, even though she had tiny arms and couldn't exactly cuddle me she tried her best. The first time I needed her hugs and I didn't have them there was the day I realised I had let everything behind and there was no coming back.
I may have started looking for comfort in places and things simply because no one was able to give me that feeling of coziness and safety that Kate's warmth transmitted. Back then Venice beach minutes before sunrise, caffé mocha and music were my comfort places and things, they still are whenever she's not around.
Although none of those things do her arms any justice.
I drank my beverage thinking about Katherine's smile and the way she widely opens her tiny arms when she notices I'm sad and simply tries to embrace my now big frame. Maybe that's why I can't stop adoring her, she's caring and carefree, throughout the years that's what I have become fond of.
Despite not wanting Kylie in that bus or in my life whatsoever, I had no choice, it was either a living hell for a couple more weeks or hearing Katherine's heart fall to the ground and break into millions of tiny pieces I can never get back together.
I sat down in a park near Starbucks and pulled the hood of my jacket over my head to stop the humidity from the air to ruin my hair, my day was crappy enough already, I didn't need to add to it bad hair.
I watched as some couple passed by, some of them my age and other a little older. They all looked happy in their own way, each one had different nicknames for each other yet they all had this thing in common: the glint in their eyes after every kiss. I envy all of them, it wasn't easy to find that girl or boy and truth is, it may not even be the one, but at least they have each other for as long as life allows it. I never had a normal relationship, and with Katherine I can have that.
Each second that passes she becomes more and more appealing to me, not only physically, although she looks quite amazing, but mentally, if I stay with her for god knows how long I will have a normal relationship where I won't need to worry about what kind of things can become public and what can't because she isn't a public figure. Also I know she actually likes me and the day, if destiny allows it, she says that she loves me, then I'll know those feelings are real too. Not having to doubt your girlfriend's feelings is the dream for a famous person.
I wanted her next to me so I could hug her and tell her everything I am going through. Kylie having those pictures means that I have to play whatever game she wants me to play, and as much as I want to tell Kate everything I can't, it would be complicated to explain why I didn't wake up, my parents know quite well why I became an heavy sleeper, but I'd rather not let that knowledge be shared.
This agreement is for two more weeks, if anything I've been in worst and I made it through, she is just a ridiculous and spoiled girl who knows nothing more than blackmail people to get what she wants. I guess she forgot we all slip and fall sometimes in life and the higher you get the bigger the fall.
If she falls on her butt it won't hurt at all though.
I got up throwing the empty white cup in the trash bin before noticing a small orange bright ball rolling up to my feet. I looked around and when I saw no one I bent down to grab it. I stared at it for a few seconds with a puzzled look on my face before I felt something tugging on my jeans.
I looked down to see a small girl with her dark blonde hair all over the place and eyes as big as the ball in my hands, they were a warm brown and she looked nervous to be talking to me, poor girl, so small and having to interact with a tall guy like me, although I'm not the tallest I will be yet.
"Is this ball yours?" I asked with a small smile as she ran her hands through her hair in an adorable way.
I could see her face a lot clearer now and still the kid looked cute. It's something about babies and children, they look so innocent and that gives them beauty, before they get tattoos, dye their hair or use makeup, every kid is an innocent flower.
"Yes" She nodded staring at her orange ball probably thinking I wouldn't give it back.
"Here" I said crunching down to her level "I'm Cody, what's your name?"
Was I really making friends with a four or five year old girl? Yes, I was, I am not ashamed of showing people my love for kids.
"Daisy" She told me shyly as I handed her the ball slowly.
"You are very pretty Daisy" I said smiling at her "Be careful playing okay?"
She nodded before she ran away in her chubby legs. The whole scenario was purely adorable, every time I connect to a child or simply share a couple of shy words my heart warms a little and I start wondering how my kids will be like. I know I want them, many, well maybe I won't want many when they start crying at night.
I've told this to my mom and she came up with the only possible explanation for a sixteen year old to want kids: I want someone to love eternally. I guess that's true, my only problem is finding the right girl to be their mother, the time it takes to find her is the time I have to mature.
It's weird how every time I thing about my future wife I always picture someone like Katherine. She's is making me go soft, in less than a month she made me believe in love once again, only this time I chose to take it slower, to make sure I am loved before I can jump into a relationship. I made that decision mostly because there's too much to lose.
A text from her shook me awake as I started walking towards the bus again with my mind now peaceful.
From: Katherine
Is it weird to talk to you about other guys?
Although it wasn't the text I hoped I would get from her, the fact that she trusted me enough to talk to me about her romantic life filled my heart with a feeling I couldn't quite understand.
To: Katherine
It's fine, so what's up in your love life?
From: Katherine
I think I'm falling for this flower guy... But the fact that I don't know who he is makes me super uncomfortable.
I smirked shaking my head at the same time. Only Katherine to be innocent enough to fall for a simple gesture like that flower, or should I say flowers since they haven't stopped coming.
To: Katherine
Maybe he doesn't want to be known, or maybe he's trying to understand if you genuinely would like him just by the most simple gestures
From: Katherine
Those flowers tell so much about him, but leave me so confused... That daily flower is my highlight of the day.
To: Katherine
Let yourself fall beautiful, he will reveal himself eventually
From: Katherine
What about you? I was so sure I liked you and I don't want to be the girl who led you on
To: Katherine
I'm not mad or disappointed, whoever conquers your hearts owns it, it's been like that ever since the beginning of times, you have to follow your heart and see here it takes you.
She didn't reply me, which indicated me that I had triggered a few doubts in her mind that she was trying to understand. I was in fact, not mad, telling me she likes me within forty eight hours was strange but I wanted to believe those feelings were true, the fact that I had to leave ruined the romantic atmosphere around us, but at least we still have our friendship.
All I want is for her to be happy, and I will still have my chance to prove her I'm worth it, it's not like she's going to get a boyfriend in two weeks.
I hurried my way back to the bus trying to come to terms with the fact that Kate and I may never get into a relationship. Some guys would gladly break her heart because she took back her feelings, but I'm happy she did, I'll be back soon and maybe then she will see how good of a fit we are.
I'm not the one to give up on love but for now I have to put it on stand by. Katherine needs to organise her misunderstood feelings and I have to somehow delete those photos on Kylie's phone. Two weeks will be enough for that if I manage to survive Kylie's game, that is.
I entered the bus taking off my jacket as the warm environment involved me. I took a deep breath thinking how my mom will notice my mood when she arrives and will probably cook me some consolation meal. Something good was coming out of this game.
"Kylie?" I called her walking further into the bus.
I found her on her bunk watching a movie on her laptop. When I pulled the curtain aside to talk to her I found out she was simply wearing her shorts and her sports bra. Trying not to focus on her breasts or any part of her body, really, I took another deep breath and looked at her big brown eyes that I once desired to be mine.
"I'm in" I told her "What are your rules?"
"I knew you would come to terms with it" She said happily "Now, rules are easy, I want your full attention, so no texting your beloved girl" I tried to protest but she cut me the chance "You want her to see your manhood?"
"No" I growled staring at her angrily "I will text her less but I won't stop texting a friend"
"Sure, that can do" Kylie swatted it "We won't only go out on dates and kiss each other like the lovely couple we are, we will also do it when no cameras are around"
"Sorry, explain that again, I think I lost myself" I pleaded confused "I'm sure I've heard you say you want me to make out with you with no purpose"
"No purpose? We love each other" She let me know "Two rules Cody, for two weeks, after that you are free..."
I stared at her eyes heavily covered in makeup and pondered in my head what to do next. It was bad enough to kiss her for the cameras, but away from them was torture. Blackmail was something I never had to worry about, but Kylie had some dirty on me, photos that I don't want either Katherine or the rest of the world to see, the last thing I needed was to have my nudes on the internet alongside with a horny Kylie Jenner.
"Fine, whatever you want" I gave in rolling my eyes at her idiotic ways to get me to like her or make out with her whatever suits better.
She smirked before jumping out of her bunk and pushing me against a wall. So I guess the plan is to be out on action from this moment on. Oh joy...