"Good morning, sleepyhead..." Ashriel said when he noticed me wake up from my deep slumber.
The car is currently moving at hindi ko masabi kung nasaan na kami. Nasa backseat ako ng sasakyan, doon niya ako hiniga para siguro ay makatulog ako nang maayos.
"I want to move there, nagmukha ka tuloy driver ko." sabi ko sa kaniya. At dahil tinatamad na akong bumaba pa ay pilit nalang akong tumayo nang kaunti para makalipat sa front seat.
"Lyrica." he scolded my sudden action.
Dahil sa ginawa ko ay ipinarada niya muna ang sasakyan at hinawakan ang baywang ko para maalalayan ako.
"Careful..." May kamay din siya na nakaalalay sa ulo ko para hindi ako mauntog.
"Thanks." I said when I successfully transferred from the backseat to the seat beside him. Napatingin ako sa kaniya, mukha siyang pagod. I want to ask him to sleep first but I do not know how to drive...
He noticed my stares and raised his eyebrow at me, questioning the look on my face. He handed me a burger, "Kain ka muna. Medyo malayo pa tayo."
"Oo nga pala, I talked to your parents and they told me that it's okay even if we don't go back there just yet..." seryoso niyang sinabi.
"Nakausap mo na sila?" tanong ko.
"Oo, kahapon nung pinuntahan kita."
Ngayon ay unti-unti kong naaalala ang lahat ng mga pangyayari kahapon at kanina. I can't decide whether to call it a nightmare or not.
"What were you even doing in Manila?"
He chuckled. "Gusto lang naman kitang makita. Is that so bad?"
"You could have at least told me!" Gusto niya lang akong makita pero higit pa doon ang naabutan niya.
"I acted on impulse. At tsaka hindi kita isasama sa Tagaytay hangga't hindi ako nakapagpaalam sa kanila."
"They agreed?" medyo nabigla kong tanong. Even if my parents are very thrilled about me having friends, they still wouldn't let him go that easily.
Tumawa siya, "Syempre. Ako pa ba?" Sa sobrang yabang ng tono ng boses niya ay pinalo ko ang braso niya. "Seryoso nga, Ashriel!"
Hinimas niya 'yong parte kung saan ko siya pinalo at ngumiwi.
"Of course, they agreed. They even told me to get you out of Manila as soon as possible." napaos ang boses niya sa huling sinabi.
Tumango ako, that makes sense.
Sa kahabaan ng biyahe ang ilang sulyap ang ninakaw niya mula sa akin.
"What is it?" tanong ko nang mahuli ko na talaga siya sa akto.
"You alright?"
"I am."
His hands were fidgeting and tapping nonstop on the steering wheel, I could tell by his actions that he wanted to talk about it but decided to be silent about it.
Alam niya na rin naman, eh... Nakakapanghinayang lang na hindi niya pa mismo narinig galing sa akin iyon. But at least, that's a start.
"I'm going to talk about Railey."
"You don't have to talk if you don't want to. You can always tell me anything, anytime. We have all the time in the world."
Umiling ako.
I want him to know, I am ready to bare my soul to him because he has proven that he is not someone who would invalidate my feelings.
Ayaw ko na ring magtago pa ng kahit ano sa kanya. He's trying to be completely honest with me and I should do the same.
Keeping secrets wouldn't do us any good.
I do not want to keep any more secrets.
He's Ashriel. Hindi na siya ibang tao sa akin.
"I met Railey when I was six years old, he was seven." panimula ko.
"He owns the guitar that I always bring with me. His mom gave it to me when he died..."
This is the first time that I talked about this without having to cry.
Pakiramdam ko ay naubos na ang mga luha sa puntong ito kaya wala na akong naiiyak. Kahit ganoon, nararamdaman ko pa rin ang kirot sa puso ko.
Ashriel glanced at me when I paused. Nginitian ko lang siya.
It's okay. I'm okay, baby.
"He showed me the beautiful feeling of being loved at a very young age. We grew up together and our worlds revolved around each other. Alam mo 'yun? Akala ko siya lang na 'yung buong mundo. We had no idea that the world is vast."
"But it was enough. It was enough for me." tumatango-tango ako habang sinasabi iyon. I really was fine with being just the two of us back then.
"I was so contented with it that I wasn't happy with the idea of Railey finding happiness in another. Nasanay kasi ako na kami lang palagi."
Ashriel's mouth opened slightly and breathed heavily. It seemed like he was about to say something but chose not to.
"I was selfish. Akala ko umiikot sa akin ang mundo niya. I was terribly wrong to think that."
Ang mahinang makina lang ng sasakyan ang tanging tunog na maririnig sa bawat titigil akong magsalita.
I already imagined what Airaleigh could have told him when I ran off.
"What they told you is probably true. I was the reason why Railey was out and about that late at night. Sana, hindi ko nalang siya pinapunta... O kaya sana hindi ko nalang siya inaway para hindi ko siya pinaalis sa bahay."
Nagsalita na si Ashriel, "It's not your fault."
"Still... I can't help but think of what could have beens."
Binitawan niya ang manibela at ipinatong ang kamay niya sa kamay ko.
"Stop romanticizing the what could have beens, Lyrica. It will only leave you with regrets and continuous questions of what ifs for the rest of your life."
His thumb is gently caressing the back of my hand. "I'll try..."
He snapped his fingers and clicked his tongue, "Sabi nga ni Harry Potter, it does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live." proud niyang sinabi.
I couldn't help but laugh, "Dumbledore said that."
"It's the thought that counts!" nakakunot pa ang noo niya na para bang na-offend siya na tinama ko siya. He's too cute.
"I'm proud of you." biglaang niyang sambit sa gitna ng katahimikan. I looked at him with questioning eyes.
"You did so well to keep on living for the past two years. It's too bad that I wasn't there the whole time. But still, I'm sure that you've grown and you are not the same person as you deem yourself to be."
I nodded. The past two years have been hard. "Nandito ka na ngayon..." hindi ko namalayan na sinabi ko.
"Damn. Wala bang katapusan 'tong highway na 'to? I want to park and hug you." sabi niya na may ngisi sa labi.
"Mahiya ka nga sa mga sinasabi mo, Ashriel!" I scolded him but he just laughed.
Hindi nagtagal ay bumagal na ang takbo ng sasakyan at natatanaw ko ang isang malaking bahay na nasa tuktok ng isang cliff.
"We're here." sabi ni Ashriel. Hindi pa man ako natatapos mamangha sa bahay na nasa harapan ko ay pinagbuksan niya na ako ng pintuan.
I was greeted by a massive garden full of colorful flowers. "My mom takes care of this garden."
"It's beautiful."
"It is."
"Kuya!" sigaw ng batang babae na tumatakbo pababa ng hagdan, papunta sa amin. Ashriel walked towards her to close the gap between him and the little girl.
It's Ashantelle! Dati ay sa pictures ko lang siya nakikita!
Ashriel kneeled and spread his arms wide open to welcome his sister within his embrace. "I missed you, Kuya!"
Binuhat siya ni Ashriel. "Hindi naman ako nawala nang matagal."
Napatingin sa akin si Ashantelle at nanlalaki ang mata nang itinuro ako. "Is that..."
Inilapit siya sa akin ni Ashriel. "Meet your Ate Nyx."
Lumapad ang ngiti sa labi ng bata at nilapit ang katawan sa akin, nagpapabuhat. "You look like a doll!" she excitedly said.
I looked at Ashriel, scared. Baka mabitawan ko siya!
"It's fine. She's really light." sabi niya at tuluyan nang ibinigay sa akin si Ashantelle na magaan nga naman. She is slender but very tall.
She is still growing at kung mas lalaki pa siya ay baka hindi ko na kayang buhatin pa.
Niyakap niya lang ako kaya hindi ko nakikita ang mukha niya. I'm trying my best to keep myself from squeaking at how adorable she is as she clings onto me!
Tumatawa si Ashriel. "She's not yours, okay? She has to put you down when we get inside." sabi niya sa kapatid.
We walked side by side on the way inside their rest house.
This is not just a house, it's a mansion! Pagpasok na pagpasok pa lang ay nakikita ko na agad ang pagiging open layout nito.
Naglalakihang mga bintana ang tumambad sa amin, at sobrang aliwalas ng lugar dahil sa natural na ilaw na pumapasok.
My eyes widened in awe at how breathtaking the view of Taal Volcano is from their very home! Sa labas ng bintana ay mayroon pang mga upuan at mukhang extension iyon ng garden sa harapan. "Ashriel, ang ganda!"
He smiled, "I'm glad you like it."
"Ashriel, my son!" tumayo ang babaeng nakaupo sa malaking couch set sa living room. She looks like a woman in her late 40's but she is very beautiful. Her eyes are just like Ashriel's...
Binaba ko na si Ashantelle na agad tumakbo papunta doon sa babae.
"Hi Ma, how are you?" hinalikan niya sa kamay ang mama niya at nagmano.
"I've been so lonely without you!"
"Nandito naman si Shantel. Diba, Shan?" nakipag-apir siya sa kapatid. Halos magtago na ako sa likuran ni Ashriel.
Nilingon niya ako at hinawakan sa braso para papuntahin sa harap niya.
"Oh! Who is this pretty lady?" his mother asked with a playful tone in her voice.
"This is Nyx Lyrica... Lyrica, this is my mother."
Pinagpapawisan ako sa sobrang kaba! Hindi ko man lang naisip agad na nandito nga naman ang pamilya niya!
"H-hello po..." I smiled and waved a little.
Ngumiti siya nang malawak and I saw that only her eyes are similar to Ashriel. Her facial features are very sweet to the sight and Ashriel's are very well-defined.
"Nice to meet you, you can call me Tita Ashanti."
Ang daming Ash sa bahay na 'to, nakakasakit na ng ulo. Inalalayan na siya ni Ashriel pabalik sa kaninang inuupuan niya.
Her body seems frail and her head is covered with a bonnet. She is very pale, too.
"Gabriel! Your son is here!" sigaw ni Tita na umalingawngaw sa buong bahay. Buti naman at hindi na Ash ang pangalan ng papa niya at baka nalito na akong talaga.
'Di nagtagal ay dumating ang isang lalaki na kamukhang kamukha ni Ashriel.
I am in awe, I think I am looking at Ashriel 20 years from now.
Tinapik niya si Ashriel sa balikat at kinumusta. Lumapad naman ang ngiti niya nang makita ako at pinalipat-lipat ang tingin sa amin ni Ashriel. "You chose well, anak."
Pinipigilan ng kasama ko ang ngiti niya at hindi na pinansin ang tatay niya.
"I'll show you to your room."
Sinundan ko si Ashriel paakyat at pumasok kami sa pangatlong pintuan sa hallway.
Their house looks very modern at mukhang bagong gawa talaga. Even the room looks very pretty for a guest room.
Nagulat ako nang biglang may humila sa damit ko at nakita kong si Ashantelle 'yon. Ang cute talaga!
Lalabas na sana si Ashriel para hayaan muna akong magbihis pero may naalala ako, "Wala akong damit."
"Open the closet. I'll see you later, okay? Rest up." Tuluyan niya nang isinara ang pintuan kasama ang kapatid niya na nakabuntot sa amin.
I opened the closet like he told me to, at tumambad sa akin ang napakaraming mga damit.
Ang iba ay nasa ibaba at naka-paper bag pa. I grabbed a silk pajama terno to feel comfortable and I let my back appreciate the soft bed and its cotton sheets.
It's still early but my eyelids felt very heavy, so I let myself fall into deep slumber once again. The comforts of this bed made me feel at peace after a long day.