Chapter 13: Fire (Claire's POV)
After annoying him for a long time, he finally caved in and agreed to share his room with me. He cracked when I said he was a liar and wasn't keeping his word even though we both agreed to it.
I kind of struck a nerve but he was putting up with me.
I went to my room where I brushed my teeth and hair before I grabbed my water bottle and then prayed to god, seriously, I did that. I then went to his room, knocking on the door. He opened it, his toothbrush in his mouth, his shirt on his shoulder with the same black sweatpants.
He rolled his eyes and threw the door open. I rolled my eyes as well before going inside and taking the left side of the bed. I wasn't just doing this because Flynn told me to.
I wanted to know him, I wanted to open up to me, and I wish it wasn't some type of 'I can change him' bullshit, but that's exactly what it is. I think I can change him, I think someone needs to remind him that people are there for him and people can love him.
I saw my phone on his nightstand, which he was still keeping away from me. I grabbed it and unlocked it, scrolling through it. I had a few texts from Aesha, freaking out about the date, a few from my dad asking if everything was going all right which I replied to with a yes. And then there was a text from Theo. My brows furrowed and I frowned, opening the text.
Can we meet? I need to talk to you ASAP.
Leo came out and snatched my phone before I could even think of a response. He locked the phone without reading the text. "It was Theo," I said, knowing that he was resisting the urge to ask.
"Quinn?"
I nodded in response. He didn't react and pulled his shirt over his head. "He wants to meet me."
He stopped moving for a split second before turning to me. "Why?"
I shrugged, biting back a smile. He cares. "Something about needing to talk as soon as possible," I answered.
"You're not meeting him."
"I know."
"You're not going anywhere, he's not coming here."
"I said I know," I laughed, "I don't wanna meet him," I shrugged.
He eyed me warily before turning the lights off and getting in bed. I could still see him from the moonlight and clearly, he was in thought. I just sat there, hoping he'd spit it out. "How much do you know about Theo?" he asked.
"Not as much as I should. Why? What do you know that I should?"
He contemplated it, his fingers drumming against his leg. "Theo's uncle is the person your dad owes."
"What?" I gaped at him.
He nodded, "Theo's uncle. His name's Seth Cavanaugh."
Like Toby from PLL?
"And I only know that because he had my mom killed. I'm not supposed to know him but I do, clearly," he scoffed, "Everyone in this town who gambles does."
I stared ahead of me, shellshocked. "Does Theo know?"
He chuckled humorlessly, "Theo helps him. The same way I get the money from person to person and hand it over to my dad and then get my share from it, Theo does that for Seth."
"Then doesn't that mean my dad should know? If he came to collect the money?"
He nodded slowly, "He should, why?"
"Because when you took me from school, he told me to take someone with me before he called you. He told me to take Aesha or Theo."
Why would dad tell me that if he knew about Theo?
"Maybe he didn't want Theo telling Seth anything," he shrugged, "Or maybe Theo isn't the one who was supposed to collect the money from your dad. Seth has a few people doing that for him. It varies," he explained.
"Have you ever met him?" I asked.
"Nope. My dad doesn't do any business with him after what happened to my mom. We try staying away. He's too dangerous. Too many people work under him."
"Then why was my dad stupid enough to do that?"
"He wasn't. Do you know anything about this?"
I shook my head.
"Then clearly, I should shut up."
"You can't now," I glared.
He sighed, "He didn't borrow money directly from Seth. He borrowed it from someone else and later found out the guy he borrowed it from actually owed Seth that money. So now, the debt became your father's."
Whoa. What the fuck?
"Is that even allowed?"
He turned to me, "Everything is allowed when you gamble."
I sighed and leaned my head back.
This is a whole new part of the story that I've never even heard.
✯¸.•'*¨'*•✿ ✿•*'¨*'•.¸✯
I lay there awake, staring out the window in his room. I glanced at the time on the clock. It's two in the morning. "Leo?" I whispered.
"What?" he asked.
"I can't sleep," I huffed, turning around to face him.
"Then sleep."
I rolled my eyes, "I can't. And it's not like you can either. Now you know what we have to do," I smiled.
"I'm not getting you ice cream."
I clicked my tongue in frustration and rolled him over so he faced me since we were lying back to back earlier. That took more force than it should have. "Not ice cream, dummy."
"Don't call me that."
"Just shut up and listen. It's a rule that when you're sharing a bed with someone, and it's past midnight and you're both still awake. Especially with a stranger or someone you don't know that well," I cleared my throat.
"This is bullshit I can already tell," he said, propping his elbow up and holding his head up in his hand.
"It's not," I chuckled, "You're supposed to share a secret."
"No."
"And! And, that secret stays between you two and you can only talk about it past midnight. It's a rule."
"Okay, you go first," he shrugged.
I rolled my eyes and thought about something I haven't told anyone. I sighed. He told me about his mom, I can tell him about mine. "I haven't visited my mom's grave in over two years. And my dad still thinks I go."
"Why haven't you visited?"
I laughed awkwardly, not really wanting to admit it out loud. "Um- being there and talking to a stone that wasn't gonna talk back became um- too painful. I couldn't take it anymore."
"What do you mean?" he questioned.
"I mean, when I would go there, even though her death was natural nobody could have done anything, I would wish that it was me who died instead. I wasn't even home when it happened, I was at school. And I would wish that I died instead of her."
He paused and processed that. "Then what happened?"
"Then I told my dad how I felt. And he explained to me why I can't do that. There was nothing I could have done nor was there any reason for it to have been me instead. What happened, happened. He would tell me how I was so young," I chuckled, "And how my whole life was ahead of me."
I hesitated, "And how I can't miss her and lose myself in that grief. But I would really wish I was dead. All the time." I let out a sigh, my chest feeling lighter.
"Did you ever try anything?"
I knew what he was asking. "Mm-mm," I shook my head. "I always thought that killing myself would only pass my grief onto other people. Onto the people who care about me. Which really, was only my dad and Aesha. But two people's happiness overpowers one person's sadness. That's just what I told myself."
We fell into silence until I finally gathered the courage to look up at him. "Your turn," I mumbled.
"Clair," he huffed.
"Please? I just told you something I've never told anybody. If you don't do that, I'm actually gonna be very hurt." I wasn't lying.
"Okay, okay um- let me think," he sighed, rubbing his eyes. "If I tell you more than one, will you tell me another one?"
I bit back a smile and nodded, "Yeah, I promise."
"Okay um- for the love of God," he mumbled, "I have and I always will uh- blame my dad for my mom's death."
"Why your dad?" I questioned.
"If he never made the mistake of getting into such a fucked up thing like gambling, she would be alive. And if he did, he should have paid his debts. I will never forgive him for that."
"Do you want to forgive him?"
He shook his head, "No. I bet you think I should though."
"No," I disagreed, "I don't think you should. I think you should decide for yourself and do what you feel is right. I'm not one of those people who think holding a grudge is bad and you're letting it take over your life, that's bullshit," I rolled my eyes, "Hold a grudge if you want. That's okay."
"Really?"
I nodded.
He sighed.
"And the second thing?"
He seemed a lot more reluctant to tell me this one. He looked at me and his eyes almost looked like they were glowing. Like they were on fire.
I love his eyes.
I waited patiently for a long time and almost twenty minutes later, he breathed it out.
"I feel like I don't deserve to be loved. Ever."
.
.
.
.
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Chapter thirteen
This was so sad to write but they're both opening up to each other I like writing that and making that bond between characters and giving them moments like this.
next chapter: Deserved