2nd December1993
Dear Ali,
It has been an interesting day. I had a set of really nice trainees. It is so rewarding when a teacher compliments me. I had a flick through my diary and it was good to read of all the great times we've had in Loch Lomond, Glasgow, Edinburgh the Dales, Wales, York, so many places in such a short time! I particularly remember Aberdeen and it being the first time you told me you loved me. I remember we were on our own and you asked me "Do you love me?" And I had been so taken aback I was stumped for words.
I digress but the TV is so depressing - it's AIDS week!
Well on a more cheerful note Mum and I enjoyed town. There was a great atmosphere, with people bustling for their bargains. I stumbled across a piper and for a second I was transported back to Edinburgh and by the station on Princes Street. The lights reminded me of the tattoo fireworks. There was that wonderful smokey baked potato aroma infusion filling the air; I hopedhe would play my favourite, Green Hills. It had that cold crisp feeling.
I really hate it when I have to say goodnight over the phone; you might have noticed! I miss you so much. Nine and a half days. It feels like an eternity until you are here and I think of you all the time.
I posted the letter once I had signed it. I waved it goodbye and imagined it would take the same journey as the ones to Dionisis. Did he ever give me a second thought or was he too wrapped up in his own life or his studies? I didn't envy his cold December in Heidelberg. I imagined he would be spending time with his Family and making plans to travel himself.
As Christmas approached I had no desire to go into town as shopping was murder. I did enjoy how the Christmas decorations sparkled in the icy cold of winter. I did not really watch much television but Mum would watch some of the worst, from Soaps to the absolutely dire Noel's House party. I cringed at Mr Blobby, who seemed to have taken over through unsubtle brainwashing, the UK mob. The foamy inflatable entertained by slamming into things and, for reasons unfathomable to me, these tiresome antics drew in the crowd. Mr Blobby was even on track to Scoring the Christmas No.1 in 1993 in the charts with a cringeworthy single, filled with Kids singing out 'Mr Blobby'. Most of the time I listened to my own music and the Astra had my Peter Gabriel 'Us' album on repeat. Noel Edmonds came to turn on the Christmas lights, I read in the local paper. He turned up with Mr Blobby and there was, as usual the great countdown, but the lights had already been accidentally lit! The lights were suspended from lamp posts and across the streets from wires.
As I walked passed the City Varieties, the Victorian music hall, with the lights illuminating the tiny theatre front, to me that was the epitome of Christmas. Mum would take me as a child to the pantomime or to see some theatrical event with a famous TV contemporary, such as Charlie Drake, Harry Worth and Little & Large. Names that are now of their time and faded into the past. We would always arrive late, just as the show was about to start and we would always sit high in the 'Gods' seats, peering down above the light rigs, with a small tub of costly ice cream and a wooden spoon. The spoon haunted me as I had bad tonsils as a child and the doctor always forced my tongue down with a wooden stick whilst he peered in with a fine torch.
I found myself in the town centre because Sue and Anthony had managed seven weeks of marriage before parting. So Quig, being the great friend he was, had invited Anthony to move in, but Anthony had had to move back to his parents. We had arranged to take him to the Cinema. Anthony was pretty low. I had insisted on Mrs Doubtfire, because my comic genius hero was in it and I thought it would lift Anthony's mood. Well I absolutely loved it. Anthony shuffled with his head constantly pointing down to the ground, looking like a moving statue of Atlas. Nothing would lift him. I think Quig was grateful that I was another distraction for him as Quig had run out of ideas with him.
Back home and boxes of mince pies with their moist soaked raisins and plump sultanas beckoned me in the kitchen. Mum had put her yearly brandy drenched Christmas pudding and fruit cake in the oven, bubbling away happily as the mistletoe aromas encircled the oven. Temptation was everywhere.
I'd got a letter from Ali and I spent the afternoon replying.
...I might pick up some Scottishisms from the 'Ali McGregor's guide to the Scottish Language.' It could be a best seller.
As I said, the Shropshire dates have changed again. I guess that the best thing would be to meet you and drive down to Shropshire. It's a shame you cannot drive. You could take my car whilst I work. And YOU could do some driving for a change. It's a lovely life having a chauffeur isn't it? I've got Monday 20th off as unpaid leave. You wouldn't believe how many extra hours I put in and they wouldn't allow me an extra day in lieu. Still, no point in complaining.
I reflected on all the places I had journeyed to with this job. I loved that there were opportunities to get to know the places and people like I did. That part of my job was a gift. Those were much more like work colleagues and some even friends. When I made the decision - trainer rather than programmer I know I made the right choice. But at times I did wish I could code in uniface and spend my weekends pursuing hobbies or nights in my own bed.
I treated myself to a bottle of Baileys for Christmas and I made the mistake of opening it. I guess I will end up buying another one before the week is out. What an earache I got for buying it from Mum. Speaking of having privacy, you should live here. She's into everything, checking up on me. I never gave her any need, I rarely drank, I didn't smoke, I didn't have time to lead the life she assumed I was leading. I had left once before and I was seriously looking to escape again.
That's you and me both wishing our lives away. I know that by the time this letter reaches you it will probably be just one day before I see you and I cannot wait to have you in the passenger seat again complaining that I never listen to you and that you would kill for a pint of heavy in the Scotsman. No one makes me happy more than you. My heart is always with you.
See you soon, just not soon enough.
All my love,
Meggy x
As I wrote the line about Alex, I thought about Alex and her skirt - knicker potential fiasco. I thought 'the tight bitch.' I should have just let her be embarrassed. The trouble is once I had worked for nothing they thought that should be the norm. The only way I would escape that would be a new job.
I really longed for my own computer. It's a shame I'd lost touch with Dionisis as he had a fantatic machine and I might have bought the same. I had also been neglecting my artwork. I never seemed to be home anymore.
Ali wasn't going to be back until 5th January. I knew because he had hinted at his 'Time Management' problems on the phone. His excuse was he couldn't tell me the details about 'the bad news' on the phone because of TIME! I was tired of the crazy flying back and forth stuff.
Later on, Ali called. He was calling from a payphone again in the barracks this time. I could hear an apprehension in his voice. He sounded very on edge.
"Are you ok?" I asked him, concerned.
"Yes, just feeling a bit low, and a bit lonely." he confided. "So I was wondering" he paused, I could imagine him collecting his thoughts, "what you thought about the idea of being my wife?"
I was in shock! Then my thoughts turned to the dream I had had. I hadn't trusted in it, as always until now.
"You want to marry me?" I asked.
"Yeah I'm proposing to you!"
"Let me take a moment." I said, "I'm in shock!"
We had met in February and it was now December. It was no time at all. We'd had no normal existence and had to make the most of our time together. But we had grown close. Of course I had some significant apprehensions about his lifestyle. However I knew that if I said 'no' at this juncture, a little voice told me that would be it; our relationship would be over. Right now I didn't want it to be the end.
"Yes!" I blurted out.
"Yeah!" He shouted and I could tell he was springing. "I'm bouncing, that's such amazing news!"
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"It's a good job you said yes." he confirmed, "or I would have called it a day."
I wondered how that little voice inside my head had known, and who it was guiding me now. I had no idea.
"I'm not going to change my mind!"
I couldn't tell my Mum. She wouldn't agree with it. So I rang the nearest thing - Ali's Mum. She had told me a while back about having her a big row with him, saying she knew she was lonely.
My life was about to change. I was about to embark on a rollercoaster ride and I had no option but grasp hard to that seat! The word eventful would be the understatement of the Century!