𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐅𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝟓 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐨. 𝐁𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐚.
𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬:
5 years ago
Seoul National University
Lisa was tapping her pen aggressively as she was waiting for her exams to be finished. She eagerly wanted to go home and enjoy her time with her boyfriend. She was excited because today was their anniversary and today was the first day of snow.
Lisa looked down on her window while reminiscing the days when both of them were just shy schoolmates. She couldn't imagine how times had changed and how many things had the two of them went through to fight each other's relationship.
Her boyfriend was from Art and Theater Department, while she's from the School's Culinary Department. Both knows about art but in a different way of expression and to meet halfway through performing arts a their common ground could be incredibly amazing.
Everyone in their college knew about them as Lisa used to compete in the dance competition of their school and that was the two of them met. They even called them the power couple because of how good she and her boyfriend at dancing and how handsome and pretty they both were. They were the ultimate hip and the most ideal couple of their school.
Many were even mesmerized by how a student from the culinary Dep was able to have such a sharp movement in dancing. However, it was Lisa's dream to be a pastry chef and be able to build her coffee shop someday and dancing was just her hobby.
Her boyfriend never forced her to pursue the theater Arts since he respected her decision and was always been supportive of whatever she does. Lisa couldn't even imagine how she was able to get such a handsome but supportive boyfriend who was always always there every step of the way.
"I know you can do this Lis. Trust in your self."
That was what he always say.
He told her that if time will comes for their families to separate them, he was even willing to drop his own blood just for her. She was such a lucky woman as what her classmate always told her.
"How to be you Lalisa?"
"You must have save thousands of life in the past life to be able to capture the heart of this guy. I felt so jealous of you."
"When I was reborn again I'll asked the god to be reborn as Lalisa Manoban."
Lisa just laughed off their compliments as they keep on complaining why they weren't as lucky as her to catch off the heart of this man.
For her, there opinions didn't matter because he was loved by his heart and not his physique. They were even planning on getting married after college. That's how confident Lisa was in their relationship.
What could be his surprise?
Lisa thought to herself as she looked over the clock ticking on the walls of their monotone classroom. She smiled at the thought of him planning his gifts for months just to prepare it for their anniversary.
She remembered how effort he had done just to get her to say yes. Even confessing in front of the school where thousand of the student watched as he kneeled to the ground asked her to be his girlfriend.
Lisa felt a tight knot on her stomach and suddenly become giddy. Right now, she was waiting for the clock to tick at 5 o'clock in the afternoon so she could finally go home
When the bell rang, Lisa didn't waste enough time to rush at the door, and not even letting her professor finished his goodbye speech
She was sprinting going to her locker to get her things . Jisoo caught her and have seen how she was overly fidgeting her fingers to find the key to her locker and she seemed it a fast pace as if the time was racing against her.
"Someone just can't wait to go home."
It was only after that Lisa noticed her unnie Jisoo leaning against her locker. Jisoo was studying and was already in fourth-year college. She was gonna graduate this year and was engaged also to her longtime boyfriend, Jin. She smiled at the elder before saying:
"I just can't wait for his embrace, unnie. I miss him so much. It had been a week since he flew to Paris to perform along with his theater groupmates. I just can't wait to hug and kissed him and talked to him for the whole night about what happened there."
The unnie smirked as if teasing Lisa that she not only missed his kisses and hugs but also something else.
"You just miss jumping on him to your bed."
Lisa was caught off guard and now her cheeks was burned as she she started to fully transformed herself like a tomato.
"Th-thats not what I mean, unnie."
The elder just gave her a light tap on the shoulder. Assuring Lisa that she needed not to forget to buy a box of condoms just in case they go run wild tonight, then she winked at her blushing figure before turning her back away and slowly and gently strode into the hallway.
Lisa didn't have much time to argued back with her unnie, Jisoo, so she just let it slide and ran to the nearest bus stop to she could go home in time for his arrival.
She went home just in time and opened the door and windows as watched at the snowflakes fell into their windowpane for the jest time this month and the white crystals had accumulated the spaces between her warm apartment and the colder outside. She blew a warm air into the glass as it created a foggy image in which a heart was transformed at her fingertips. She grin by her love struck image and a car outside came to stop. But then it halted making her frowned for thinking in advance it was her boyfriend.
Her feelings like an overwhelming sensation of her lover finally returning home was an understatement. She anticipated his come back . What she wanted to feel now was the warmness of his breath on her neck, his hands on her waist, and all the loving words he could whisper to her whenever he came back from abroad.
She also missed his egg rolls and kimchi fried rice. Of course, she misses waking up with him showering her kisses every morning.
Although while in Paris, he never failed to call her everytime he could.
'The food here was splendid. I hope I can bring you to Paris someday.'
'I saw a woman that looked like you in a Paris museum, I suddenly think of you.'
' how was your day going on so well baby? Mine was amazing! We were practicing in this big dome, bigger than our school and we even made a few adjustment to the set and our movement to occupy the whole stage.'
'Lisa were performing now. I love you.'
Lisa was taken out of her daydreaming when she saw her man get his luggage out of the school bus who fetch them from the airport, his eyes met hers by the window and the snow drop on his bonnet and on his thick jacket.
Lisa jumped off her chair, stumbling upon some clothes scattered on the floor and immediately opened the door for him. Giving him the biggest hug ever.
He buried his face on her neck and Lisa felt slightly hot because of the sensation his hot breath and the contrasting of his cold coat over neath his body. It was giving to her skin a little goosebumps as she inhaled his manly scent and the smell she missed so much.
His citrusy perfume was floating her into euphoria as she was hit with familiarity and his warmness all over her.
They stayed hugging for a couple of minutes before he spoke in his rich deep voice.
"I miss you so much, Lali."
He said while planting small kisses on her neck. He smelled her lavender perfume and he suddenly moans from the loss of it for quite a few days. The smell he always looked for every day of his life. The smell that turned him on and brought him so much joy. The woman that he fought and eventually won over. He was so lucky to have her. She not only have a pretty exotic mannequin-like face but she also have a golden heart. Something you rarely find in a beautiful woman.
She was full of innocence and positivity that he couldn't help but only look at her in a million crowd. His woman. His life.
Lisa broke from his tight embrace and looked him in the eyes. She missed him so much that she couldn't wait to kiss him and let him took her to their bed. However, she still had some control over herself.
She just traced his face over her fingertips before saying,
"So how was your trip? Did you win?"
Her boyfriend looked at her like she was now a delicious salad he would eat before the main course. He couldn't wait to touch her and so he seductively pushed her to a wall before whispering these words that send chills to Lisa, made her heart melt, and awaken something in her that she always felt whenever he was around.
"Ughh Baby, let's talk about that after this okay? I just can't wait any longer. I need you now."
He held Lisa's waist tighter and pushed her to the wall while pushing to her core, which we called her big hard bulge.
Lisa looked at him with equal lust in her eyes. She even rubbed her clothed sex to now his growing wood and moans.
That made him even more hungry to make her his dessert tonight.
"I miss you this much baby. I love you."
Lisa was pushed into their bed, kissed passionately by the man in front of her. With the heat of their bodies, they're slowly lovemaking, the words of love that they keep whispering to each other, Lisa was now again in euphoria.
She had been moaning his name, and he too moaned the name of the woman in his heart. Their lovemaking, skin tapping, moaning, smooching, and the sucking of their skin can be heard all over their apartment.
Their sweaty bodies hugging each other with their scent mixed and all the hickeys and bruise left on her body, Lisa was high above the paradise to describe how she felt in words.
However, Lisa never cared about what their neighbors thought of them. As long as she was with him, everything would be alright. She loves him from the Earth to the moon and back. He loved her even much deeper.
He literally couldn't leave without her. That's how in love they were with each other.
Their lovemaking lasted for the whole night. They made love in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in their sala, and their bedroom. They made love like there's no tomorrow. In their world, there were in Lisa and him, and the other people simply didn't exist.
Well, no one knew that the same love would be the same thing that would destroy the two of them as one tragedy stuck them together like a lightning.
***
It wasn't until the end of the year that the two hearts that were deeply in love was replaced with pain and regrets. It was because the other one needed to gave up on the relationship, or the other's life will be shuttered.
Lisa understood well the reason why he needed to go away. She couldn't accept the fact that his family didn't like her because she was orphaned and his family thinks of her as a gold digger who only wanted their son's money.
Lisa did her best to changed their minds but she knows that fighting fire with fire could only lead to more destruction.
This is why they were standing here on the crossroads of faith and in the cold winter day, saying goodbye to each other.
Despite knowing that they couldn't live without each other, he still left her. He said that he needed to, and this was for their own peace of mind.
For months, she was depressed. She had been going in and out of the mental hospital.
It wasn't until that she found out she was pregnant with Lily that Lisa stopped herself from doing harmful things as she wasn't fighting in this world alone. She had now someone who could love her endlessly that she didn't need to find love from a different man.
Lisa still longed for her father's baby but she always remembers what he said on the day they broke up.
"Please, gave me a favor to not talk to me anymore. Do not look for me. Live your life and be happy, that's my only wish. This is for you, I love you, Lisa. I love you so much that I am sacrificing my happiness for you. Please dont make my sacrifices just go in to waste."
(Insert Only Then by Jungkook)
He held her hands while crying. She and he were standing outside the post office on a cold winter day. Both of their hearts were shuttered.
She didn't wanna let go of his hands and neither he, but someone needed to let go first and leave all their beautiful things behind, or either she or he will get hurt.
She asked herself, why out of all the people in the world, why would the fate chose her? Why only was she being left alone? Not only by her mom but also the man she truly loved. She gasped for air as it was suffocating to watch him go.
"What was your name?"
"Lalisa Manoban."
"How old are you?"
"Seven."
"Oh! When would be your birthday?"
"Today."
"Poor little girl. Her mom left her on her birthday."
"Shshshs... Stop talking real loud. She could hear us."
Her tears fell down like a falls from her eyes as se remembered the events of her childhood in comparison now.
They shouldn't break up in a way where love still filled their hearts. His parents should have waited that they get tired of each other before breaking them apart. They should break up when both of them were sure that they no longer love each other. No, not this way.
However, Lisa knew that wouldn't be the case. It's because they love each other too much that even if they broke up, moved on, and fall in love with another person, there would always be a special part of each other's heart that was only reserved for him and her.
He looked at her as if he wanted to not go and just hold back for much longer. However, he knows he still needed to go. He looked at the woman who gave him his only happiness. Someday, he knew he will regret this.
But right now, all he can think of was to put his mouth on her lips and taste her one last time, and so he gave her one last goodbye kiss. A kiss that she and he savor as their parting gift for one another. A kiss they will both remember as he turned his back to her.
Lisa could only look at his back with the luggage in his hands. Tears were flowing down her face.
Brokenhearted was not the right word. Her heart had now become a fine ground powder. Nothing left on her but an empty shell.
She could only wish that he fought for her harder. That he didn't turn his back on all of his promises to her.
"Please stay with me .... Please."
However, like the hard truth that was slapped on her face, she could only wish.
This was why she never dared to reach out for him and tell him that on the day he left him for his family, another addition to his life was growing inside her.
"I'm sorry... I can't, Lali."
She couldn't do it because she respected him and she knew so well how he sacrificed a lot of things for her.
***
On the other side of that autumn road, a man was also crying holding his girlfriend's goodbye letter. He was wiping out for his heart's content because his girlfriend was leaving him for good. She had sent him via post office a letter of goodbye. Wishing that Jungkook would be happy even though they were no longer together.
"You're a good guy and I am sure there could never be a good reason not to fall for you. However, our desires in life greatly differ and I have to let go so I could have my goal in the future and you'll have yours. This break up mat have hurt but in life, we must deal with heartaches accordingly as a lesson we brought forth in adulthood. I hope you understand me well."
Jungkook couldn't accept that they would just end this way. They were obviously in love with each other. They even already made a plan for the future. Their house, how many babies they would like to make, and what career path they gonna take.
However, all of that had been thrown out of the window when she told him last week that her parents decided for her to be send back to Australia, to finished her study of Fashion design there instead.
She told him that needed to go back to Australia, the country was she was originally born. She asked him not to wait for him and that he should move on because he couldn't continue living her life being guilty that Jungkook's life was ruined because of her sudden departure.
Oh, how broken Jungkook was hearing those words from her. Although he knew that she never truly gave her heart to him, it's still hurt like a hell knowing that she will be gone, he doesn't even know how long. Maybe forever.
Jungkook could only hold onto the letter with his eyes full of tears. He felt regrets. Regrets because he couldn't convince her to stay.
He felt like a loser just because he knows that he is. He wanted to beg, beg her parents not to sent him away but, the decision was already final.
He always heard her say, "If it's meant to be then it's meant to be."
If they were meant to be, sooner or later, destiny will find a way for them to meet again. If they weren't then he would still cherish all the memories he had with her and buried it inside his heart.
Even if he found another woman someday, she would still have a special place in his heart. Aren't all failed first love like that? That's what he always heard about those ahjummas and ahjussi's who all had their first love ended this way.
He already knew this gonna happened sooner or later. He wasn't rich either to give her a good education and a good life. His mom is just an average eomma that owns a seafood restaurant in Pyeong-gul and her income is just enough to send him and his brothers to college.
His income as a barista was just enough for his allowance and school projects. Right now, he couldn't do anything other than to watch the woman he loved to go away.
Jungkook realized that if you were poor, you have a low chance of finding love. This was the reason why Jungkook vowed to himself to work harder and be rich so he could stop being pathetic in front of a woman he is going to date someday.
With a heavy heart, Jungkook sat on a bench with his tears flowing like a waterfall unfreeze by the cold wind and the snow around him. He looked at the letter in his hands and couldn't help but tore it into pieces. It was because he knew he failed. He failed to fight for her.
Meanwhile, Lisa, who was just standing on the side of the road watching as the snowflakes gathered around her shoulders and head, had been screaming from the top of her lungs. Hearts are aching and tears are falling her pale face.
She promised herself that she will never fall in love again, and what she experienced was enough for her. She vowed that from now on, she will just focus on her life and nothing else but since Lily was coming, and so she will fight for life hand in hand with her angel.
Needless to say, on that same crossroad, in the front of the post office, and on the cold winter day, two hearts were broken by circumstances both of them can't control.
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