The Farland Files

By ActuallyPurpleMango

1.3M 59.1K 28.1K

Lord Voldemort stared at the cradle where there was not one, but two children where he had only been expectin... More

Prologue
How to Raise A Monster
How To Befriend Ghosts And Singing Hats
How To Make A (almost) Grown Man Cry
How To Crush Vampires In Poker
How To Rule Through Chocolate
How To Lose Graciously
Exhibit A: An Unusual But Powerful Outlier
Exhibit B: Bloody Writing On The Wall
Exhibit C: Petrified Students Of Equal Standing
Exhibit D: The Only One Taken Into The Chamber
Lena Farland and the Horribly Persistent Slytherins
Lena Farland and the Green-Eyed Cat
Lena Farland and the Dementors of Azkaban
Lena Farland and the Rat-bastard Traitor
Lena Farland and the Rejected Claim
Why Not A Bit of Domesticity?
Why Not Take That Bet?
Why Not Use Self-defense?
Why Not Give Blood To A Near Stranger?
Why Not Have All Hell Break Loose?
Why Not Be Reborn?
Why Not Poison One's Self?
Why Not Purposefully Get Possessed Again?
Why Not Dance The Night Away?
Why Not Dream Of Dark-haired Teenage Boys?
Why Not Get A Bit Bloody?
Why Not Enter The Hunger Games?
Why Not Fight For Your Life?
Why Not Accidentally Make A Dark Lord More Obsessed?
The Art of Finding The Lost
The Art of Predicting the Future
The Art of the Deal
The Art of Blood
The Art of the Long Con
The Art of Innocence in the Face of Death
The Art of Family
The Art of Despair
The Art of Making Friends
The Art of Coveting That Which Isn't Yours
The Art of Revenge
The Art of Saying Goodbye Without Actually Speaking the Words 'Goodbye'
The Art of Being Alone
The Himalayan Mountian Range, Nepal
Temple of the Elements, Nepal
The Woods of West Austria
Nurmengard Castle, Austria
Unnamed Island Outside Greece
Hellena Island, Aegean Sea
Temple of Ares, Hellena Island
New Jersey, United States of America
Westfield, New Jersey
Addams Manor, New Jersey
0001 Cemetery Lane, Westfield NJ
Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Massachusetts
Mount Greylock, Massachusetts
Jersey City Hall, New Jersey
Northern New York
Scamander Family Manor, New York
The Death of a Bachelor
The Sound of Silence
Bury Me Face Down
Implicit Demand For Proof
Our Own House
Do You Still Love Me Like You Used To?
In The End

How To Become A Snake

37K 1.3K 1.1K
By ActuallyPurpleMango

Lena woke slowly, sitting up and finding that she was in her robes from the day before, her cloak settled over her like a blanket. Her shoes were sitting on her truck which was across the room, and she swung her feet to hang over the side, staring at the cream-colored walls.

Quirrell was right.

Going back to the orphanage now would only keep her doing chores and not eating. If she could stay here, eat, and learn whatever she could from the magical world while she was at it... maybe in a few years she would be able to make the choice on whether or not to leave fully, having gotten a good taste of this world's magic.

But she would need more space.

Changing into a pair of jeans she'd worn the knees out of and stained with paint, she pulled on one of her nicer grey t-shirts, pulling her hair up into a high ponytail and shrinking her trunk to tuck in her pockets. Wearing the cloak as if it were a cape (it was long enough on her to be), Lena made her way to the Great Hall from what looked like a different part of the dungeons.

Sitting at the very end of the Slytherin table, not even pretending to give a flying crap anymore, she pulled out a thick book on magical creatures.

The bench across from her sunk and she looked up to see that the boy with the strange violet eyes- Blaise Zabini- was eating calmly across from her.

"What."

The boy grinned at her. "What what?"

Lena blinked. "What are you doing here?

"Eating. Breathing. Talking."

Scowling at the boy, she huffed. "Whatever. Just don't-" Drifting off, she looked at him for a second and then waved her hand in his general direction, scowl deepening. "Don't do whatever you're doing."

He grinned wider, raising an eyebrow. "Does that count breathing?

"If you can, it would be amusing."

Sucking in a deep breath of air, the boy clamped his mouth shut.

Lena stared at him, amused, but then frowned when the boy started to look a bit like he was going to pass out. "Stop that. You can breathe- I was joking. I'm not sadistic, fool, just not used to human company."

"What company do you like?"

"Snakes. The real kind, unfortunately for you."

The boy laughed and held out his hand. "I'm Blaise."

Lena stared at him blankly. "I know this."

"Well then shake my hand." The boy wiggled his fingers as well as his eyebrows. "It's the best way to make friends, as I've heard, and since I don't really have any yet..."

Reluctantly, she took his hand. "Lena. And you're an idiot."

Blaise chuckled, shaking their hands with a wide grin before letting go and turning back to his food. "If the other girls are being prissy you can sleep in the boys dorms. We do have an extra bed."

About to scowl and tell him he could go shove his crude suggestions somewhere not entirely polite, she caught the look in his eyes and immediately paused.

He was... lonely.

Just like her.

Nodding, she let her lips quirk up into a half-smile. "I'll keep that in mind... thank you."

The boy's smile was wide and more than a bit pleased.

She had a feeling that if she looked at her Hogwarts robes, they would be trimmed in green.

Blaize Zabini was the only son of a wealthy woman who apparently killed all her husbands but left no proof, so it was all rumor. But Lena more cared that he was completely unfazed when it came to her lack of attention due to reading and her sharp tongue. Other than that, he was who he wanted to be around her and that was all that mattered.

So when McGonagall told her that the Headmaster wanted to see her and she saw Blaise's face fall slightly, she looked at him as she stood up with a neutral expression that was just a bit warmer than her normal blank one. "I'll meet you in the Common Room later so we can do our homework for Charms, alright?"

The boy seemed happy just to nod and watch her walk away.

She wondered if Jack would be proud that she'd made her first friend.


The Headmaster- Dumbledore- was an old man with a long white beard and robes that proved he was either colorblind or the worst judge of fashion she'd ever seen. His office was full of tiny nicknacks that she would guess had little use and a bird that looked about to die, but she said none of this as she sat in the seat McGonagall pointed her to. "Headmaster... Am I here to negotiate?"

Looking amused at her wording, the man nodded. "If you would like to call it that."

"I would like." Lena gave the man a smile that she knew was edged and looked a bit cruel on her lips.

"Very well then. Negotiations start now." Dumbledore clasped his hands together, leaning forward with a kind smile, his eyes twinkling just a bit. "You're a brilliant girl, Miss Farland, but our classes are not made for someone with such... ease of magic. So the idea is that you prove you can do what is asked of you in class, and from there you will be allowed to do whatever self-study you want in the classes you are ahead in. I assume you have been to the library?"

She nodded. The library was very impressive, but... "I want access to the restricted section."

"That's not a safe place for-" McGonagall started, but Dumbledore held his finger up, stopping the woman before what Lena suspected would have been a rant.

"You'll be given a bracelet keyed to your magical signature that will get you through the wards, but it will also record any book you take out and make sure they stay on your person or in your rooms."

Lena nodded, agreeing to the terms easily enough.

The man smiled. "To give you access to the restricted section though the wards for more than a few trips, I am going to give you the honorary title of 'Assistant Staff' and key it into the bracelet I will be having the goblins make for me. Due to this position, you will get your own small room instead of having a dorm, as some of the books you will be curious in are not for others your age. With this title also comes responsibility though. Should a student need help and not be able to get a Prefect, you should be able to answer simple questions or help them with little things."

"Fair enough." Lena was less than pleased at having to be asked stupid questions, but she supposed that it was worth it to get into all sections of the library. "And are all my classes still-"

"I am afraid, my dear," Dumbledore gave her a smile that was more of a grimace, "that Professor Snape has not backed down on refusing to teach you."

"Git," McGonagall muttered under her breath.

Lena held in a smirk at the insult, just nodding blankly. "And will I have just an empty period or may I take another class in that period? Because I looked into the electives and I think that if I sat in on the Ancient Runes classes early, it would coincide with my first research project- which is going to be spells of different languages." And occlumency.

The two adults shared a look, Dumbledore smiling and nodding before standing. "I think that Professor Babbling would love to have you." Then he waved to a bowl of yellow candies. "Lemon drop before you go?"

Standing, she grabbed a lemon drop, before pulling out a peppermint and offering it to the man. "Peppermint?"

"Oh- thank you, my dear." Taking the candy, the man's eyes sparkled when they both tried their respective candies, sharing a small smile in between them.

Turning on her heel, she waved her hand. "Get me the bracelet when you can. I have homework to do."

McGonagall, however, caught up to her and put a hand on her shoulder to steer her down the main staircase. "You- Miss Farland- have a flying lesson that you have an excused tardy to and I am your late pass, to make sure you actually get there."

Rolling her eyes, she nodded and just resigned herself to a class of nonsense.

Though when they got to the first floor, and she spotted the plant-boy in Hufflepuff being carted in by the flying teacher with what looked like a broken wrist... well, she was a little more intrigued.

Looking at McGonagall, who had stopped to talk to the woman, she silently slipped away to the outside area to see what happened.

"-think I'll put it somewhere for Longbottom to find." Malfoy was getting on his broom, grinning with an object in his hand. "How 'bout on the roof!" The boy rose into the air, sneering down at who she noticed was the sunshine child. "What's the matter, Potter? A bit beyond your reach?"

Strolling up to where Charles looked ready to get on his broom, she shook her head. "Is that worth it when I can do this?" Raising her wand, she grinned at the blonde. "Accio." The Remembrall flew from the boy's hands and she caught it smoothly, hearing the footsteps and grinning wider.

Though surely this would be the best part.

"Draco Malfoy!" McGonagall yelled at the boy, lips pressed together tighter than a vice. "Get down here this instant!"

Turning to the boy with the messy black hair- who was smiling one of his sunshine smiles- she held out the glass ball. "I'm not sure what it is, but I wouldn't trust Malfoy with a quill of someone else's, much less something breakable."

"Thanks, Lena."

Nodding, she let him take the ball. "Sure." Then with a half-smile to the boy, she moved to where Blaise was standing off to the side. "You look lonely."

The boy just smirked at her, unfazed by her jab. "And you look like a Hufflepuff."

Shrugging, she watched McGonagall verbally tear Malfoy to shreds. "He did this himself. I just made sure that the Longbottom boy got his sphere back." Moving to sit on the ground, she looked back up at Blaise. "Do you like to fly? What's it like, being a million miles away from everything that can hurt you, without a care in the world but the occasional plane or hot air balloon?"

"Plane? Hot air... balloon?" The boy shook his head after a second. "I- well- I guess I don't know... My mom never let me fly because she never had time to teach me."

"Oh." Lena looked up at the sky, before back to McGonagall, who was slowly losing steam. Holding out her hand and looking to the boy, who helped her up (but not without an eye-roll), she moved to McGonagall's side. "Professor? May I ask a favor of you?"

The woman startled looking to her. "Miss Farland?"

Looking away and down, as if she was shy, she bit the inside of her cheek in the way she'd picked up in the time she had actually cared about what others thought of her, knowing that it presented a sweet picture of a shy little girl. "Well I've never flown before and when you said we'd be able to fly... since you don't have class... do you think..."

"I guess," the woman smiled when she looked up with big Bambi eyes, "since I don't have class, I can watch over the class while you all try out flying... But should any of you go further than a hundred feet I will hex you off your broom!"

With a crooked smile that was pure excitement, she bounced back over to Blaise, waving her hands. "Go! Go! Show me how to do it so I can fly!"

Laughing, the boy held out his hand over his broom. "Up!"


Starting back to the Common Room at a slower pace than Malfoy, who was whining and complaining about McGonagall, Blaise moved to hook his elbow with hers. She looked at him, half bewildered and half-amused. "What are you doing?"

"Is this not what friends do?" The boy peered at her.

She snorted softly. "Blaise, I've never had a friend either, so if you're looking for instructions then I'm not the one to ask."

"Oh." Frowning for a moment, the boy moved to clasp her hand, moving their fingers until he settled into holding her smaller hand. "Then this is more comfortable... right?"

"Whatever makes you happy." She shifted her book in her arms so it was easier to carry, trying to ignore the tingly feeling that the skin contact gave her, like little spiders crawling up her arm.

Grinning at her, the boy then started to swing his arm ridiculously, skipping at a ridiculously slow pace and humming.

Feeling her lungs clench, she burst into a peal of laughter, kicking at his ankle- to which he danced away. "Stop it! You're not allowed to be such a dork if you're walking with me!" Still giggling, she shook her head. "Just- just walk like a normal human being, you fool!"

"Oh, so, like this?" The boy then started to do a number of increasingly silly walks, still holding her hand, and by the time they got to the common room her stomach hurt from laughing. "Now whatever you do- you can't laugh, or the other Slytherins will eat you alive. Alright? Belladonna."

His cheeky smile and teasing half-warning had her fighting a smile, not able to cover her flushed face as the common room came into view. Clearing her throat and pursing her lips, she stepped through the doorway, looking to Blaise as she did. "Don't you dare do-"

Grinning, he did this ridiculous octopus type of motion, schlepping himself over to her side like some swamp creature. "Do what?"

Staring each other down, the boy snickered as she tried to fight a smile before both of them burst into laughter. Hitting him with her book, she rubbed at her face with the back of their attached hands. "I cannot believe you, Blaise Zabini. Ten years of not a single laugh and you break that by acting like an idiot."

"Worth it."

Rolling her eyes, she went to move forward when her path was blocked with a body kneeling before her. "I, Janus Carr, relinquish my position of Slytherin King to Lena Farland as by the rights of a duel won."

A giggle escaped her lips, the older boy looking up at her, surprised, and she pressed her face into a black mask quickly. "Stop kneeling. It's not helping the pure idiocy of this day." When the boy stood up again, she sighed and untangled her hand from Blaise's, reaching to unclasp the cloak around her shoulders. "I assume you want this back? Usually, most people just ask instead of crawling at my feet."

Carr looked at her, blinking slowly. "What?"

"Your cloak. I took it because I was tired and feeling spiteful. But since you apologized- or whatever that was... I'm offering your cloak back." Lena watched the boy take his cloak back hesitantly before nodding. "Great. Good. Bye now."

Moving past the older Slytherin, she froze when her arm was caught in his grip. "Wait but-"

Placing her hand on his, she grabbed one of his fingers and pulled it backward, making the boy let go of her. "Don't touch me without permission, Carr." Stepping forward, pulling his finger so his arm was twisting in on itself to try to follow her movement, she hissed wordlessly. "I do not appreciate the feeling of human contact from those I do not trust... Do I make myself clear?"

Wincing, the boy nodded quickly. "Yes- yes, yeah. Crystal."

Letting go, she stepped back, looking at him with narrowed eyes. "What then, is so important for you to grab me like that?"

"I- I gave you the throne." At her blank look, the boy ran a hand through his hair with a slight sigh. "You bested me in a duel, Farland. That makes you top of the food chain in Slytherin. Now anyone could choose to try to usurp you, but for now, you and your court make the rules around here."

"Court." She tilted her head. "Okay. So I'm Queen and I just stole the crown off your head... does that mean you get demoted to being a crownless King or just beheaded all together?"

Looking at her critically, seeming somewhat surprised at her question, the boy went to explain. "Once the Head Royal is disbanded, the new royalty makes a group of people they want to become their court and if no one wants to challenge the King or Queen, then other spots in the court can usually be challenged. You would be able to step in to fight for that person, but it wouldn't garner much respect within the house."

Lena studied the boy. "Hold out your hand."

Doing as she said, the boy watched her curiously.

Pursing her lips together, she took his hand, worrying at the inside of her lip for a second and then pulled back from the feeling of only a bit of discomfort. "I trust you. You're officially a crownless King, Mr. Carr. No beheading for you today."

"Why take my hand?"

She shrugged, starting to walk away. "If people are deemed untrustworthy or a danger to me it hurts to touch them. You're only the mild discomfort of being pinched, whereas Blaise is like being tickled with a feather."

"What-... what's the highest pain you've felt from touching someone?"

"Being stabbed." She stopped and turned around, the older boy almost colliding with her. "When I was ten, a man tried to rape me in a back alleyway. His touch was like being stabbed... so I don't regret his death."

Carr's eyes widened.

Lena tilted her head. "Accidental magic sure is helpful sometimes." Then she turned on her heel, glad to find no one followed her to the room at the very back of the hall that was marked with her name.

She just wanted a fucking nap.


"I need help figuring out why the Ministry is a complete and utter garbage fire."

The Common Room turned to stare at her.

Lena had taken a long nap, then gone through all her 'shady' books and compared them to the assigned texts, finding some major discrepancies. But she figured that maybe leading with her irritation wasn't the best idea and sighed deeply. Walking through the common room to an empty seat by Carr with a space of table in front of it, she raised an eyebrow, as her arms were full of books. "May I? I have quite a few books here."

"If you're leading with a dislike for the Ministry, then by all means." The older boy grinned, waving his hand as if to permit her entry.

Rolling her eyes, she carefully set the stack of books down, setting each of them out so the assigned texts each had a not-so-assigned text by it. "I got the assigned books- which are rubbish by the way- but then I happened along this lovely little second-hand bookshop down the alley from Gringotts and-"

"Down the alley... by Borgin and Burkes?"

"Mhm. Wonderful selection of books. They had all the books that Jack wanted me to read and more, but anyway-"

Gemma Farley held up a hand. "You went to Knockturn Alley? Alone?"

Lena stared at the girl, before searching out Blaise and giving him a look. "Explain."

"Knockturn alley is the seedy magical underworld of London. Girls your age are known to enter and never be seen again." Blaise grinned and then moved to drape himself over the arm of the chair she was standing by.

She grinned toothily. "Lovely. I'm sure I'll forget to worry about that later. Anyway. What I was  going to say, is that the books I got on each of my subjects from the normal bookstore are grossly missing some basic information and philosophies from the other books I found in... Knockturn. Now I know that my potions text doesn't even compare because the one Jack suggested was a literal dictionary on all the uses and reactants for every potion ingredient ever, but even the book on Hogwarts is dumbed down!" Sneering, she looked at the other Slytherins watching her. "Who here knows who the Bloody Baron even murdered?!"

A broad boy with teeth that were all wonky leaned forward. "That book's illegal."

"So I've been told." Her eyes found Malfoy for the barest of seconds before she sighed and rubbed her temples. "I bet none of you've read Fahrenheit 451 and it fucking shows."

"Fahrenheit 451?" Janus Carr looked at her. "Explain please, Farland."

Looking to the boy, she sighed and flicked her hand towards the stairs. "Just call me Lena. Honestly. Farland's not even my name really, as Jack died before he could adopt me." Catching the book she'd summoned, she held it up. "Yes, this is a muggle-written book, but I'm sure once you lot get over your bigotry, you'll like it."

"What's it about?"

Sitting with a sigh, she looked down at the worn book that she'd gotten from Jack to keep. "It's about a man who works as a fire-man. He goes to work each day and sets fire to the homes of anyone who dares to keep or try to read a book while his wife sits at home and watches pictures on a screen that essentially brainwash society into being these uneducated puppets of their former selves. And then he meets Clarisse, the girl who sees the world in color when no one else will..."

This was hopeless.

"It's a good book, though I think Clarisse deserved better." Looking over, she found Theo standing stiff under the scrutiny of the house, but with a determination in his eyes. "Honestly muggles have much better works of fiction than wizards do."

A girl next to Farley leaned forward, holding out her hand. "I bet you the crown, Farland, that this book is so boring it'll make me want to set it on fire."

Grinning, Lena put the book in the girl's hand, holding her eyes. "I bet you a favor at a later date that you come back after reading it, hand it back to me, and then ask for another like it."

"Deal." The girl's eyes glittered, taking the book and opening it as she leaned back in her chair.

Smiling to Theo, she moved to hold out her copy of the third edition of Hogwarts, A History. "I think that I promised to let you borrow this on the train?" When the boy smiled and moved to take it, she gave him a small quirk of her lips in return. "Well now that it's settled that no one knows why the Ministry is so corrupt, I have-"

"You're thinking the Dark Lord was at fault, aren't you?" Draco sneered, arms crossed.

Instantly the common room seemed to stiffen, even Blaise, Theo, and Janus seeming to withdraw.

Lena tilted her head. "Did I say that?"

Draco narrowed his eyes. "Your name. Farland. You were raised by Jackson Farland- the Head Auror before Barty Crouch, who was notorious as he had almost as high an arrest rate as Mad-Eye Moody. Don't you think it's stupid to keep acting as if we don't know?"

"I didn't even know about any of that until two years after he gave me a command to 'do something great' and then up and died, so if you have any thoughts in your head about how he raised me then get in line- because I sure as hell have some questions too." Feeling her emotions swirling around her like a snowglobe, she took a deep breath and let it go. "As for the last war? I have no idea what Voldemort was fighting for and I don't exactly trust the victors to tell me. So until I can figure that out and look at each side, I stand as neutral ground, just as I don't expect you to give me a logical explanation on why Iago chooses to betray Othello."

Theo perked up at this. "He thought his wife was cheating on him!"

Unable to stop herself from snorting softly, she put a hand to her mouth and pressed her humor back into her mask of indifference. "Okay, okay, I don't expect any muggle book knowledge from anyone but Theo."

"I thought Cassio had something to do with it too?" Janus grinned at her. "What? Shakespeare is a classic."

Shaking her head, she gathered up her books and headed back to her rooms, voice a quiet mutter. "You're all crazy."


Lena almost always got up before everyone else, and at seeing a note from Janus to sit at the head of the Slytherin table in the morning, she made her way to breakfast and did so. Waving over Blaise and then Theo when they came in with the starting crowd of kids coming into the Great Hall, she nodded in greeting when Janus sat down across from her.

"Did you acquire a pair of jesters?"

Blaise scowled, Theo rolling his eyes.

She just snorted softly. "Theo's the historian and Blaise is the..."

"Royal fashion police."

Snickering softly, she nodded and gestured to Blaise while looking at Janus with a toothy grin. "That."

"Lena friggin' FARLAND!" The girl from the night before stormed down the aisle, slamming the copy of Fahrenheit 451 to the table with crazed eyes. "How- what- he killed my favorite character! And- and then the hound and- what the Salazar, Lena! Why would you do this to me! I stayed up all night because I couldn't put that stupid book down!"

Seeing Gemma Farley move to pick up the book, making a copy for herself, Lena grinned. "So... can I interest you in another? Perhaps one with a utopia so perfect it can't be true?" She pulled out her copy of The Giver, holding it out.

The girl took the book greedily and started to turn, before pausing and offering out a hand. "Hestia Carrow."

"Lena Farland." Hesitantly, she took the girl's hand, feeling at first the small pricks of needle-like things over her skin before it settled into barely-there impressions. Shaking the hand, she pulled away and then turned back to her breakfast.

Theo looked at her skeptically. "And you just happened to have that book."

She looked at him big innocent eyes. "I have no idea what you mean Theodore. I would never plan something like that..."

Shaking his head, the boy turned the conversation away from her books- which had already gotten into new hands- and onto how Charles Potter had made the position of 'seeker' for a game called 'Quidditch'.


Lena saw Theo yawn into his hand, shaking her head and looking back to her telescope. "Did you know that the gravity on the moon is 17% of Earth's gravity? I would weigh just 9 kilograms there."

Blaise raised an eyebrow at her. "And you know this... how?"

"Muggles have been to the moon," she grinned at their stunned expressions, "so I was interested in the stars. But... I don't know any of their names."

Trading a glance, the boys smiled. "We'll help you, but in turn, you have to help us in the other classes."

Waving her hand, she nodded. "Whatever just help me out here- there's like a million of these tiny bastards."

Laughing, the two boys moved to her side, helping to point out the stars that mattered.

Having been released early from the class, the two boys yawning their way through breakfast, she just smiled and moved to sit down next to Janus. "Good morning. How was the common room last night?"

"Well Flora and Hestia have made a book group to debate the different points of The Giver, the whole house has been reading Fahrenheit 451 and even got in trouble with Snape for trying to read it during potions... also, the Quidditch team is working extra hard because of Potter being seeker."

Lena looked down the table, catching Flint's eyes and giving him a small quirk of her lips.

Nodding to her, the boy turned back to his conversation with the boys around him, but he seemed a little less tense than before.

"No matter if they lose, we will still celebrate the game." Standing from her seat, she looked to the two boys blinking sleepily at her, shaking her head. "I am going to see if I can find the owlery on my own, can you get those two back to the dorms?"

Janus smiled, amused. "What will you give me if I do?"

Staring at him, she blinked slowly. "You can read the book I gave Theo after he finishes it."

"Deal."

Rolling her eyes, she moved down the aisle, nodding slightly in return to the heads that dipped to her as she went. Stopping by Flora and Hestia, she wordlessly held out 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'.

Looking at it warily, Hestia took it slowly, meeting her eyes. "Thank you."

Staring at the girl for a moment until she was sure that the book wouldn't be burnt as soon as she turned away, she nodded and then stalked from the hall.

Moving up a set of stairs, she paused when they started to move and she ended up faced with a creepy hallway, eyeing the castle around her with a glare. "Great. That isn't foreshadowing..." Turning around to just go back, she found that the path behind her had changed as well, only a ledge to nowhere. With a sigh, Lena adjusted the strap on her shoulder for her book bag and turned to the hallway. "Nowhere to go but forward..."

Creepy dark hallway? Check.

Spiderwebs? Check.

Strange out-of-place statues? Check.

Moving to stand before an ominous door at the end of the hallway, Lena pulled at the handle, looking closer at where a thin bar of metal was all that was blocking the door from opening.

Taking a bobby pin out of her bag, she lifted the latch from where it was resting, letting the door swing open.

Pitiful defenses really.

Peering into the room, she blinked at where a large three-headed dog was sitting, one of its heads looking at her while the other two seemed to be sleeping.

One of the two heads sleeping blinked slowly, looking at her.

Slowly, she closed the door, latching it again and just staring at the wood.

A Cerberus.

Okay, so that was unexpected.

Leaning back against the wall, she opened her bag and dug out the napkin of bacon she'd taken from breakfast, taking a deep breath and opening the door again.

All three heads were awake now, staring at her.

"Hello." Stepping forward slowly, she held out the bacon stips as she went. "Would you like some food?"

The beast growled lowly when she got to a certain point, so she stopped. Putting her foot forward, the massive dog bared its teeth until she withdrew it.

"Okay. You like your space. Noted." Sitting down on the cool stone floor, she waved her hand with the bacon, smiling slightly when its eyes tracked her movement. "You know... I always wanted a dog. Jack used to have this german shepherd when I was little, but it took almost three years for it to warm up to me, as it had seen some nasty times with Jack in the war."

One of the dog's heads snapped up a piece of bacon she threw at it, the other two heads watching her intently.

Lena smiled grimly. "He used to say that I had to make it realize I didn't mean to hurt it, as I smelled like danger... I guess animals are smarter than people after all." Throwing the bacon at the dog bit by bit, she wiped her hands on the now-empty napkin and then moved to pull out her book on runes. "I hope you don't mind the company. I was going to find a place to hide from everyone by the owlery, but I suppose that this'll work just as well."

Watching her for a long moment, the dog finally laid back down, two of its heads closing their eyes and the third resting on one of its paws, watching her closely.

She ignored it, opening her book.



Charles noticed the change.

It wasn't hard to- one day Lena had been sitting outcasted from the rest of Slytherin, the next she was sitting at the head of the table with their male Prefect and two of the boys her age that Charlie recognized from Sirius' rants about work. Blaize Zabini was the son of a woman that had most likely killed her husbands (plural) and Theodore Nott was the son of a Death Eater. Not to mention the muggle-born girl seemed to have no issue with the house now, even nodding and trading books with the Carrow twins, who were apparently very staunchly anti-muggle-born just the year before.

Lena seemed to go on like this was normal, the three boys she sat with taking this attitude in stride, but it was made clear that something had happened by the way the house of the snakes watched the girl- As if she was both a puzzle that seemed to frustrate them to no ends and some sort of higher power all at the same time.

Rumors flew.

Was she secretly the long lost daughter of the Dark Lord?

Did she turn into a bat and put all the Slytherins under her hypnotizing stare?

Maybe she was really a Veela that only let out her allure on the house of the snakes?

But Charlie ignored that because she had never once said a word about his status as 'The Chosen One' while she made small-talk in Herbology and was always gentle with her hands even if her words were clipped and rough at best.

"No- Blaise you're hopeless, you have to touch the plant to pot it, not just-" The girl in question sighed from across the table, rolling her eyes. "Do you need gloves? Would that help?"

Zabini was looking at the pot of dirt where a worm was wiggling around with a disgust that Charlie reserved for Rita Skeeter and getting his picture taken respectively.

Flicking her wand, Lena easily transfigured a pair of black gloves for the boy, watching in amusement as Zabini pulled them on haughtily. Looking over at him, she sighed softly. "How are you doing, Charlie?"

"Fine, thanks." He tilted his head slightly at how the girl nodded and went back to her own plant. "Are... are you doing better with the Slytherins?"

The table quieted, trying to pretend like they weren't listening to how the girl would respond.

Lena looked up at him, eyes smiling but face blank, and nodded slightly. "I am. It seems I have found that talk of overthrowing the government helps. Though... I am not sure if they are talking in hypotheticals all the time." The emerald eyes seemed to sparkle in the light, the girl leaning in slightly with the corners of her lips pull up. "Who knows? I might be the reason for a political revolution."

"Oh." What in the seven hells was he supposed to say to that? "That's... nice?"

Nott snorted softly from the girl's side, and Lena pulled back slightly as if reading the fakeness of his tone, her eyes dulling back to their normal blankness. "I guess the short answer would be yes. I am doing adequately."

I am doing adequately.

Adequately...

The sentence seemed to ring hollowly in his ears as if he could tell somehow that she wasn't telling him the whole truth and he wondered if she'd felt the same thing just moments before.

But the thought was pushed from his brain when Susan Bones asked him about Quidditch and he happily started to talk about flying, not noticing the emerald eyes that narrowed on him slightly before turning back to her plant with a slight frown on her lips.

~~~

A/N: Who else is down for some sarcastic banter? Count me in! ^-^

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