𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒, dream

By simplyflaw

1.7M 51.4K 72.7K

❝ why are you throwing bonemeal at me?!" ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ"so you grow the fuck up. ❞ 𝗮𝗺𝗯𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 [𝘢𝘮... More

000. prologue
001. the portmanteau's legacy
002. everyone meet god
003. drawing trees on paper
004. appear weak when you are strong and strong when you are weak
005. i solemnly swear that i am up to no good
007. someone dictate my will, i'm giving it all to waddles
008. may the 4th be with you
009. i was having a good sleep
010. get out, i need to go to my mind palace
011. gay dinosaur
012. they're just besties
013. shut up, george
014. I think you cracked the case, steve
015. always the goddamn babysitter
016. only in florida
017. the only straight I am is a straight-up bitch
018. act fool
019. shut up emily
020. ten minutes and thirty-nine seconds
021. we had some laughs, it was fun
022. I don't even know a samantha
023. I think there's been some confusion, I'm not the one in trouble here
024. it's the confidence for me
025. are you happy to be in paris?
026. you don't have a TV?
027. it's definitely not excité
028. I say more dumb shit before 9am than most people do all day
029. love or host
030. cereal killer
031. the turning point
032. mother knows best
033. cooties
034. abort mission
035. is there something you want to hear?
036. muffin
037. flatty patty
038. barbie says you're a piece of shit
039. achievement unlocked: the end?
040. achievement unlocked: the end.

006. the war to end all wars but not quite

44.6K 1.4K 1.7K
By simplyflaw


-ˋˏ 𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 ˎˊ-

chapter six
· ━━━━━━ ୨💌୧ ━━━━━━ ·
❝ the war to end all wars but not quite ❞




















-ˋˏ irl! ˎˊ-




















Much like she promised, Malak did not hesitate. When Wilbur messaged her and asked her if she'd like to help L'manburg gain independence, she immediately said yes. No strings attached.

"Look at them up there," Wilbur pointed to where Dream, Sapnap, George and Punz stood on the cobblestone wall the four of them had created right outside of L'manburg. "Do you wanna know what makes us different from those four?"

"What?" Tommy wondered. "What is it?"

"This," Wilbur stated and proceeded to throw away the diamond armour Tubbo had lent him into the water.

"Oh," Tubbo mumbled.

"Tubbo, I appreciate the work you did, but we don't fight with armour," Wilbur spoke. "We don't need armour. Look at them."

"Wilbur," Tommy mumbled, laughing nervously. "As much as I stand by―"

"I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one, Wilbur," Malak admitted. "But if it's words you want me to use," she trailed off.

<Phe0niX> that cobblestone wall's got to be the second ugliest thing I've ever set my eyes on

<Phe0niX> don't worry

<Phe0niX> nothing compares to the green abomination that is your skin, Dream

<ItsFundy> LOL

"That is definitely not what I meant," said Wilbur, though he was laughing alongside both Tommy and Tubbo.

"Okay, everyone, come into the van," Wilbur ordered. "You guys are fully welcome to put armour once we begin, but right now it's not― what happened to the roof of the camarvan?"

"Yeah," Tubbo dragged. "It happens."

"It's okay, we'll just makeshift," Tommy said as he covered the large hole in the ceiling with none other than cobblestone. "Make do of what we got."

"They got rid of our roof," chortled Tubbo as he helped the blonde boy. "But that's fine."

Tommy nodded, "Yeah, that's okay."

"Totally," Malak scoffed.

"Oh, my stream's gone down," Wilbur informed them. "My stream's crashed."

"Oh, no," Tommy frowned.

Malak glanced at the monitor displaying her twitch account. She's been streaming for almost two hours now and hasn't run into any sort of problem yet; neither with her connection nor with her viewers.

She smiled fondly at her chat. They couldn't tell, obviously, since she hadn't yet gotten comfortable enough to use a facecam, so she decided to deafen until Wilbur had figured out a solution for his stream.

"Hi, chat," she greeted. "I haven't been giving you guys much attention now, have I?"

username1: streamers pay attention to their chat?

username2: shut up don't make us cry

username3: HELLO :D

username4: about fucking time you acknowledged us 🙄

username5: I speedruned making you a L'manburg skin!

SaltySally21: twitter.com/username5

SaltySally21: twitter.com/username5

SaltySally21: twitter.com/username5

SaltySally21: twitter.com/username5

SaltySally21: twitter.com/username5

username6: no you didn't

username7: IT'S OKAY BESTIE YOU'RE TECHNICALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR

username8: kill Dream and ur forgiven /hj

username9: you really don't have to!

username10: YOU SHOULD TOTALLY WEAR THE SKIN @username5 MADE YOU

username11: don't say things like that :(

username12: I really wanted you to stand by George and Sapnap's side but it's ok!!!

username13: PLS WEAR THE SKIN MISS

username14: tell Wilbur you can use both weapons AND words 😊🔪

username15: you should try and be nice to Dream, throw him off yk?

"A L'manburg skin?" Malak raised her eyebrows and clicked on the spammed link. It took her to a user's profile where the first tweet that loaded was a link to a version of her skin wearing a L'manburg outfit.

"Aw," she cooed and clicked the link to download the skin. "Thank you, Sally! Guys, Sally's one of George's mods that volunteered to moderate my first stream."

Malak then clicked back on the user's profile and displayed it on her screen whilst she tabbed out to change her skin.

"Everyone should follow user five, thank you for making me this skin!"

She then logged back into the server and undeafened.

At some point whilst she was muted, Eret and Fundy had joined the voice call.

"So, uh― Tubbo," Wilbur called. "You say you've been preparing, show me what you've got."

Tubbo, who had been sobbing to Fundy about his now burned down home, replied, "Well, I had a lot more, but they seized my base so I had to squeeze as much as I could into my ender chest."

"I've got you armour, I've got you a sword, and I've got you a harming potion," he trailed off, dropping said harming potion.

"Thank you," Wilbur said. "The harming potion will be useful."

"You're welcome!"

"Uh― what about you, Eret?" asked Wilbur. "What have you been up to? What have we got?"

Eret hesitated, "I've got everyone armour and... stuff."

"Did you?" Fundy questioned, suspicious.

Eret nodded, "Yeah."

"He got food," Tubbo defended Eret. "He got us food and pearls."

"Oh," Fundy acknowledged, nodding his player's head. "Okay."

"Oh! Can I have my share of pearls?" Malak asked. "Also, does anyone have a smithing table?"

"I hadn't been told that you were going to be joining us," Eret admitted, but they handed her three enderpearls anyway.

"Phe0niX is a L'manburgian?" gasped Fundy.

"A what?" she scrunched her nose. "Also, please call me Malak."

"Ah, sorry," Fundy apologised. "I really like your skin, Malak."

"Thank you," she shifted once. "Your's doesn't look too shabby either."

"I have a crayon suit, what the fuck are you talking about?"

Malak, Tubbo, and Eret laughed.

"Can you guys shut up?" Tommy butted in as he was trying to talk to Wilbur.

"It's okay, Tommy," Wilbur said. "I have a few iron ingots in my chests at the back of the camarvan if you need any, Malak."

"Don't worry, Malak!" Tubbo said and he proceeded to grab the ingots. "I'm on it!"

"Okay, Tommy," Wilbur called. "What have we got here? What's the report?"

Tubbo placed down the smithing table and Malak silently thanked him, placing down an enderchest and opening it.

She removed both her armour and netherite ingots and set out on upgrading them from diamond to netherite.

Meanwhile, Wilbur and Tommy were having a discussion in the background.

Malak put on her newly upgraded netherite armour and, seeing as she had one spare ingot left, decided to gift it to Tubbo.

She felt bad for him, seeing as he had been working all day for weaponry and supplies, only for most of it to be taken away from him before the war had even started.

Tubbo_ whispers to you: :0

You whisper to Tubbo: :D

"I think the element of surprise is needed," Wilbur stated. "We don't go in guns blazing, right?"

Malak disagreed but remained quiet.

"That's not the L'manburg way," he continued. "Do you guys know what the L'manburg way is? Gentlemen, I'll give you two guesses."

"Is it not using our words?"

"Malak, there's a reason I only used the term gentlemen," Wilbur sighed. "So you'd give them a chance to think."

Malak snickered while Tommy, Tubbo, and Fundy made offended noises and muttered a few curses; Eret chuckled.

"What is it?" they asked.

"We talk to them," Wilbur replied. "We lull them into a false sense of security. And that's when we stab them in the back."

"Oh my God," Tubbo gaped. "Okay, using our words," he nodded to himself. "Using our words."

"YEAH!" Tommy exclaimed.

"Very good, Tubbo," Wilbur approved. "Before we go into battle though―"

"WORDS OVER WEAPONS, MY FRIEND!"

"―Lady and Gents, may I read you the declaration of independance."

Malak would be lying if she said that wasn't the point where she first started questioning her decision.

Nevertheless, in the end, she still stood by them during the battle of the embassy, fought by their side in the battle of the two towers, and managed to run away with as many of their items after Eret's betrayal.

"Ma― Malak?" Tubbo stammered. "Malak, where are you?"

"I believe she's currently running after me," Eret responded instead.

Malak had gained on them.

"Eret, how could you?" Wilbur mumbled.

She landed a single crit.

Tubbo cried, "Eret, I farmed with you for hours!"

And another one.

"Oh, no," Eret tittered, running around in circles outside of L'manburg. "Malak, I promise you, you don't want to kill me as much as you want to kill Dream; who, by the way, is right behind you."

And a third.

"Eret, listen to me," started Tommy calmly. "And I mean this in the nicest way possible," he continued. "You fucked up."

The_Eret was slain by Phe0niX using [Run <3]

"Who knew a British person could be bad!" Tommy wondered.

"I would love to name you quite a few, Tommy," Malak finally spoke. "But Slimer from Ghostbusters refuses to fuck off."

She threw an enderpearl up ahead and swung around to throw another one.

Dream immediately turned around to head where the second pearl would land.

Malak threw a third one when his back was to her, right before she teleported three consecutive times.

"Oh!" she remembered. "Eret died just outside the walls so could one of you guys pick up their stuff? They might have picked up some of your stuff too."

Finally, she landed inside the walls of L'manburg, right on top of the camarvan, down to five hearts. Malak ate and quickly regenerated.

"I've got it!" Tubbo said.

"I'll be honest with you," Tommy stated. "I―" he began, but paused for a moment to think. "Fuck."

"Yep," Fundy agreed. "Pretty much."

"Where's Vikkstar when you need him?"
Tommy pouted and Eret laughed.

"OH, YEAH?" Tommy yelled. "OH, I BET YOU'RE LAUGHING, ERET! YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH. I'LL KILL―"




















-ˋˏ dscrd! ˎˊ-





















# general 1ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ👥

━━━━━ August 2020 ━━━━━

Tubbo
@Malak

Tubbo
@Malak

Tubbo
@Malak

Tubbo
@Malak

Dream
Tubbo

Tubbo
@Malak

Dream
calm down

Dream
she just ended her stream

Tommy
SHUT UP SLIMER FROM GHOSTBUSTERS

Dream
HUH

Tubbo
YEAH!!!

Dream
BRO WHAT DID I DO

Tubbo
SHUT UP SLIMER FROM GOSTBUSTER!!!

Dream
WHO THE FUCK IS SLIMER

Malak
omg

George
Dream???

Tubbo
MALAK

Tubbo
FIRST STREAM SUCCESS POG

Tommy
YES POG

George
also congrats Malak :]

Malak
aww

Malak
thank you guys so much

Sapnap
MALAK YOU PEAKED 18K FIRST STREAM

Sapnap
THAT'S AMAZING

Malak thank you guys so much
Eret
Well deserved.

Malak
Eret <3

Eret
Malak <3

Tommy
Malak you literally killed them and now you're giving them affection?

Tommy
i had to sacrifice my discs!

Tommy
where are MY hearts?!

Sapnap
YEAH

Sapnap
WHERE ARE OUR HEARTS

Tommy
nobody asked SHITNAP

Dream
same thing can be said about you Tommy

Tommy
SHUT THE FUCK UP DICKHEAD

Dream
no ❤

Tommy
I am going to vomit on you

Wilbur
Tommy

Tommy
Wilbur

Wilbur
we just gained our independance

Wilbur
be nice

Wilbur we just gained our independance
Dream
independence*

Wilbur
nevermind

Wilbur
do as you please

Tommy
okay

Dream independence*
Tommy
SHUT THE HELL YOUR MOUTH

Tommy
EAT SHIT BITCH

Malak
Tommy you can do better than that

Dream
MALAK DON'T GIVE HIM ANY IDEAS

Malak
why wouldn't i?

Dream
HDUFHVHB

Dream
PLEASE DON'T

Tubbo
WOAHHHH

Tubbo
DID DREAM JUST SAY THE MAGIC WORD

Dream
what the fuck

Tubbo
ah

Tubbo
sorry, Dream

Tubbo
i just couldn't believe that such an illiterate twat truck like you could ever be remotely polite!

Dream
WHAT THE FUCK

Wilbur
TUBBO???

Dream
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Wilbur
MY GUY WHERE DID YOU COME UP WITH THAT???

Tubbo
i learned from the best

Tubbo
😎😎😎

Tubbo i just couldn't believe that such an illiterate twat truck like you could...
Sapnap
king

Malak
crying

Tubbo
D:

Malak
Tubbo i am so proud of you

Tubbo
:D

Tommy
TUBBO YOU KILLED HIM

Tommy
YOU KILLED DREAM

Tubbo i just couldn't believe that such an illiterate twat truck like you could...
Malak
Tubbo, do i have permission to use this?

Tubbo
of course!

Tommy YOU KILLED DREAM
Tubbo
hehe now he can live up to his name

Slimer
what

Tommy
HAHAHAHA

Slimer
WHAT

Tommy
I LOVE YOU TUBBO

Malak
IM ZOBBING

Sapnap
ME TOO

Sapnap
malak and I in our zobbing arc

Malak
😭😭😭

Slimer
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MONSTROSITY

Malak
Dream that is literally your fucking mc skin

Tubbo
DREAM FACE REVEL 😱😱😱

Sapnap
AHAHAHA

Malak Dream that is literally your fucking mc skin
Slimer
SAYS WHO

Tubbo DREAM FACE REVEL 😱😱
Slimer
SHUT UP TUBBO

George
Dream how come you've never watched ghostbusters

George
that's unacceptable

Malak
IKR

Slimer
stfu

Slimer
all of you

Sapnap
aww

Sapnap
pissbaby

Slimer
Sapnap i will personally beat you up

Wilbur
not the personally

Tommy I LOVE YOU TUBBO
Tubbo
I LOVE YOU TOO TOMMY

Tubbo
WILBUR CAN WE CELEBRATE

Tubbo
WE WON THE WAR FOR LMANBURG THIS CALLS FOR CELEBRATION

Fundy
Tubbo you are so right

Fundy
holy shit

Tubbo
HAHA YEAHH!!!

Malak
i want pizza

Tubbo
OMG YES

Tubbo
LET'S ALL HAVE PIZZA

Tommy
WAIT ME TOO

Tommy
GUYS

Tommy
I WANT PIZZA AS WELL

Fundy
When and where are we all meeting?

Wilbur
that sounds like a lot of fun

Wilbur
we can work this out

Wilbur
i can make some time at the end of next month

Fundy
hell yeah

Fundy
i've been meaning to visit the UK for some time

Wilbur i can make some time at the end of next month
Tommy
but that's a LONG ASS time

Tubbo
@Malak

Tubbo
you should book a flight too!

Malak
I'll think about it

Tubbo
ojay

Malak
I've been meaning to visit the UK for some time too

Malak
yk what maybe i will book a flight

Malak
why the fuck not

Tommy
JDYVGBJNGBJ

Malak yk what maybe i will book a flight
Wilbur
you don't have to, Malak

Wilbur
we could all always order pizza and eat it on call

Wilbur
do you mind giving me your number for that?

Malak
sure thing

Wilbur we could all easily order pizza and eat it on call
Tommy
but that's just BORING

Malak yk what maybe i will book a flight
George
WAIT

George
YOU'RE JOKING, RIGHT?

Tommy
she's only doing it for L'manburg

Tommy
fuck off

Malak
don't forget the pizza!

Tommy
and pizza

Tommy
but still fuck off

Sapnap
what the fawk 😃

Slimer
^




















-ˋˏ 💌 ˎˊ-




















author's note

haha this is my favourite era

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