Hindi ko alam kung maliliwanagan ba 'ko sa explanation niya o lalo akong maiinis. Even Denice? Seriously?
Now it sank already! That's why she asked me to make my letter as chill as possible because according to her,man can be turned off if I'm like that. She can attract guys in just one wink and she already dated several guys so I guess she's an expert. I didn't wrote something like I'm waiting for Ian's reply because she told me that!
"It's not my fault you're both stupid" I rolled my eyes.
He has a point but treating me like that in the past it just doesn't suit his explanation. So he's saying that I don't deserve to be treated nicely because he does't love me? What a jerk?
"I'm not done yet,wife. Hear me out" he held my hand but I pulled it from him and sat at the bed,resting my head on the headboard. He immediately sat down beside me to catch my gaze
"Yes! I wanted to hear everything! Why are you wearing your wedding ring?! Why are you calling me wife?! You made me sign those fucking annulment papers!"
"Hindi ako makikipaghiwalay sa'yo dahil mahal kita" he said firmly
" You loved someone just by giving you letters,is that it?" I looked at different direction because I can feel his stare and I'm getting mad about it. I felt betrayed knowing that Denice is my friend and I'm willing to sacrifice everything for her,even my marriage.
"No,that's not the only reason"
Continuation of Ian's POV
"You can text or call me anytime you want so why do you keep writing letters?" I asked Denice and sipped at my juice. We're eating dinner right now after we watched cinema.
"It's just that.. uhm.. I want to make extra effort. I mean being with you is just that.. it feels surreal so I wanted to make an extra effort just to let you know that I'm worth it" I bit my lower lip to stifle a smile. I expected her to be like this. Her attitude and her positive thinkings really got me.
We've been dating almost 3 months now and she's still persistent to write me a letter every weekdays.
We agreed to meet in the park after class because I want to confess to her my feelings for her. Now,I'm really sure what I'm feeling
"Hi Ian! Kanina kapa?" Tanong niya. Umiling lang ako kahit kanina pa 'ko naghihintay dito.
Sumakay kami sa kotse ko dahil balak naming magdinner. Pagkapasok ko sa kotse,naisipan ko ng sabihin sakanya ang nararamdaman ko.
"Denice" I called her. When she glanced at me,I kinda feel nervous. It's my first time to confess
"I like you" I said while looking directly in her eyes. Her eyes widened and gave me a wide smile
"So,are you courting me now?" She asked,smiling
"Isn't it obvious?" I raised a brow and gave her a smirk
Eversince I said that I will court her,she stopped writing me a letter. I don't know why but I felt sad about it. There's something in that letter that I can't see in her. But she has a point,I'm the one who courts her now. I should be the one to make a move.
I'm sending her songs,that I sang for her. I will sing only for her. We're always dating when weekends and staying on my condo to watch movies.
"I want to be your girlfriend" I looked at her with wide eyes " Why? You don't want to?" She asked,probably confused by my reaction
"Of course I want to" I bit my lower lip to prevent myself from smiling. "So we're official?" I asked and she nodded
God knows how happy I am! I've been waiting and wanting to hear that words. We're official! The one who captured my heart!
I immediately glanced at her when she said something
"But can we make it private for a while?" She asked so I arched a brow "My parents are strict,especially my mom"
Her mom? She used to mention her a lot on her letters. Just by those letters, I can tell that her mom is kind and good hearted because she raised a child just like her.
"I thought your mom will support you in everything you will do because that's how she loves you?" I'm confused
"Oh that? because.... we're facing so many problems now. It won't help if I will tell her that I already got a boyfriend and I don't want to add up to her problems. Ayaw ko siyang biglain" she explained. I slowly nodded. She's right, how can I unlove her now? She's so selfless I feel like I don't deserve her
We didn't leave each other and sticked with each other after three years,turning four next month.
"You will get married to the girl I chose" I stopped eating and glanced at my dad who's smiling at the old man beside him. Why did I ended up having lunch with them?
"Are you serious?" I asked,wanting to hear that it's just a joke. Marriage is not something that parents will decide,it's my choice!
Before he could talk,their gaze went to a woman who looked nervous. My gaze turned to the one beside her. My eyes widened when I saw Denice,what kind of coincidence is this?!
Denice sat beside me and the other girl sat beside her. I felt uncomfortable especially when I remembered what my father told me
"Hindi na namin patatagalin" napalunok ako dahil sa sinabi nung matandang lalaking kausap ng dad ko. I don't really like this old man. Unang kita ko palang sakanya alam kona na siya ang dahilan ng pag-init ng ulo ko
"Ikakasal kayo pagkatapos niyong mag graduate" Kaagad nag init ang ulo ko dahil sa sinabi ng matandang lalaki
"I can't marry someone I don't love!" I shouted and held Denice hand under the table. My dad looked at me with furrowed eyebrows
"Don't raise your voice like that Alejandro" I don't care about what my father said. I'm sorry Denice but I can't control my anger. Parang binaliwala ko ang mga sinulat niya sa'kin na pagpapaalala sa ugali ko
I can't breathe the same air as them so I stood up and held Denice's hand tightly. I excused ourselves and went outside
"I don't have any idea about that" I explained but she just looked in pain
"I..I think it's all my fault" she started to cry. I know she's kind,but blaming herself about what happened is just too much. I really love her attitude but I can't let her blame herself
"No,wala kang kasalanan sa nangyari. We will fix this mess together okay?" I felt nervous when she didn't answer and just crying
"It's my fault I admired you this much that's why we end up like this!" She shouted. End up what? End up in pain?
"Wala akong alam dito" Sumabat ang babae kanina. Hindi ko siya matignan lalo na iniisip kong siya ang pinili ng daddy ko para ipakasal sa 'kin
"Pero masaya ka?" Tinignan ko ang babae nang masama. Masaya? Naguguluhan ako kung bakit nasabi ni Denice 'yon
"Ano?! Hindi ako masaya!" Mukhang nagalit yung babae sa sinabi ni Denice
"Come on! Don't lie! Gusto mo siya!" Nagsalubong ang kilay ko. Gusto? Is she sabotaging her friend just because of a man?
"Oo gusto ko siya pero kaibigan kita Denice" umiyak na din yung babae. Mas lalong nagsalubong ang kilay ko. She's one of the girls who will do everything even to hurt her friends for a man?
"I'll take you home babe" pagyaya ko dahil mukhang pagod na si Denice
"Drink first" I gave her the water on my car.
"How can a friend do that just for a man?" I asked her. I immediately get a tissue when she choked on her water
"What? Did I said something unappropriate?" I asked.
"No. I'm just thinking about something"
While I'm driving she's telling me something about her friend
"I'm so fvcking jealous of her! She already taken away everything from me! The attention in our class and my parents like her because of her grades and attitude. My parents always telling me to get closer to her because she's a good influence. Even you! She got you already!" She let out her dissatisfaction.
"She didn't got me" I cleared that out
"She will. I know someday you will fall for her" she said like there's a deeper meaning behind it. Yes that girl is beautiful and attractive but I don't get hooked up just by that.
"How can you say that? I won't fall for her. Never" I said firmly because I'm sure about that. I won't fall for her.
"Let's end this" she said when I stopped the car in front of their house "I will leave this country" I immediately looked at her while she's looking in different direction,avoiding my eyes
Her words broke my heart
"What?! We can fix this baby,please" I pleaded. I can't stand being seperated from her
"No Ian,this is wrong. This is fvcking wrong!" She shouted
"No please,don't leave me" I pleaded once more.
"Just let me leave. I will think about myself this time Ian. Let's breakup" she said firmly before she went out of the car.
After that day,I kept calling her and texting her but she's not responding. I think I'm going insane because of their bullsh!ts!
I started to hate my father that time.
They invited to eat outside and I can't do anything but go with them because they forced me. I'm with my family and Xendric always asking me if that girl is my girlfriend. She can't and she won't replace Denice
Pinilit ko sakanila na hindi ako magpapakasal sa iba dahil may girlfriend na 'ko pero hindi sila nakinig
Tumutol din siya pero mukhang peke lang naman at nagpapanggap lang ang pagtutol niya
Pumunta ako sa club para magpakasaya. Fvck this life of mine! I hate it!
Nakailang shots na 'ko at nawawala na din sa sarili. Binubulong ko nalang ang pangalan ni Denice at umaasang pupuntahan niya ako para makipag balikan
Someone held me and helped me walked towards a car. I know it's a girl. She's like Denice,I'm seeing Denice! Am I dreaming?
"Denice.." I whispered. I want her to feel my love tonight. I want to express it
"What the fvck Ian?!" Someone shouted that made.me open my eyes. I smiled widely when I saw Denice but it faded when I saw someone beside me.
Denice ran outside so I immediatly stood up to follow her,not caring if I only wearing boxers
"Let me explain" I said when I caught her arm
"I wanted to tell you something to set you free but I guess you're already free" she said and it hit me bacause I saw a teardrop flow down to her cheek
"No,let me explain. I was drunk yesterday" I'm trying to hold her hand but she didn't allow me to
"You're drunk but you know what you're doing!"
"I know what I'm doing yesterday but it's not like that" I tried to explain but someone interrupted us
"It's not what you think" pinagsamaan ko siya ng tingin at mas lalong sumama ang tingin ko nang marinig ko ang huling sinabi ni Denice
"Well,ano pa bang bago sa'yo kung gawin sayo yan ng mga lalaki?" My brows furrowed. I'm starting to hate this girl more and more.
"Ginawa niya na yan many times! Kadiri kayo!" Denice word hit me. I'm digusted by myself.
Eto ang gusto nilang ipakasal sa 'kin? Her innocent face doesn't suit her attitude. So she's having sex with other men and still has the courage to steal her bestfriend's boyfriend?
Ako ang naghatid kay Denice sa airport at nangako siyang babalikan niya ako.
"I love you" I don't want her to leave
"Once I'm back,hiwalayan mona siya. I love you" she said then kissed my lips before she walked towards the glass door.
Sinabi niya sa 'kin na gawin ko ang lahat para maging C.E.O. dahil sa 'kin naman talaga dapat 'yon. Ayaw niyang sisihin ang sarili niya kung bakit hindi ko makukuha ang mga bagay na dapat sa akin naman talaga kung hindi lang dahil doon sa kasal at pagmamatigas ko sa mga parents ko. I'm falling deeply how can I let go?
I calm myself when I saw the girl walking towards me wearing her wedding gown. It's supposed to be Denice
"You may now kiss the bride" I don't have a choice. There are some business partners here and even my random friends. I kissed her lips roughly,she tried to push me lightly because of pain. I want to leave scar on her lips because of anger
After the wedding,we didn't go to the reception and just headed home. Is this a home? More like a hell
Alam kong walang kama sa baba,gusto ko lang ibuhos ang galit ko at para siya ang sumuko. Gusto ko siyang pahirapan hanggang sa makipaghiwalay na siya
Iniwan ko siya sa baba at dumaretso sa kwarto ko. Padabog kong sinara ang pinto at umupo sa kama
Where are you Denice?
Napahilamos ako sa mukha ko. Hinubad ko ang wedding ring na sinuot sa 'kin kanina at hinagis sa sahig. Hindi ko alam kung saan 'yon napunta at narinig nalang na tumunog 'yon. I don't care!
I started working and got myself busy because I don't want to go to that house again. I don't want to see that girl's face. I know her name but I can't manage to say it because it disgusts me.
I need Denice words because I'm tired already,mentally,physically and emotionally.
I expect to hear those words from Denice but I heard them from her.
"Do you want to give up? Don't give up if you love what you're doing. You will get there" I heard her said on the kitchen while I was walking towards the stairs
"How can you hate your parents when you're the one who made a choice?" She asked me while serving my food. "You know what,my mom always-"
"Leave" I interrupted her. Why does she involved her mom? Is she copying Denice? I hate those kind of people!
I don't know why would she say something to cover me up. Like we're sleeping together in the same room and I'm already home before 9pm. That's not true,after work I will go straight to my friends house to stay there until midnight. I will go home at 12am just because I'm avoiding to see her
Few months have passed and she's still not giving up. It irritates me when I saw a smile on her face everytime she see me. Is she happy with this setup? Of course she will,she has benefits.
I started to get nervous when Denice started to get busy this time. She can't even answer my call
"Thank God you answered the phonecall" I was so relieved when she answered the call after more than two months of not answering my calls
"Don't expect me to come back and don't call me again" My heart shattered. I started to panic
"What? What are you saying?" I panic. I don't want to hear this from her
"I'm already happy. Just let go Ian. You're the only one who's still holding into this relationship. You're married! Ginagawa mo 'kong kabit!" She said angrily
"You're not. I will make her sign the annulment papers" I said to convince her not to let go
"I'm aleady enjoying my life here! I'm fvcking other man! Is that what you want to hear? I'm having sex here while you're miserable" She's not the Denice I knew.She changed She ended the call after that
As I expected. I'm ended up being drunk. I'm still a little dizzy when I saw Shalian unbuttoning my dress shirt
Shalian.
I wanted to get even so I want to have fun with her this night.
"The fvck?!" I shouted when I saw our position when I woke up. Me hugging her?
Nagising siya sa sigaw ko at hindi ako nakapag timpi at pinagsalitaan siya ng masama. Nagawa lang siguro ni Denice 'yon kasi galit siya. Nagawa ko ding makipag sex sa iba bago siya umalis kaya wala akong karapatang magalit sakanya
A week later,I recieved a text while preparing for an event. They just forced me to attend and my Dad invited her daughted in law to be my partner. I was about to go down when I recieved a message
From: Babe
I'm sorry about what I said and did. I'm really sorry nadala lang ako ng emosyon ko. I admit I was mad at you that's why I did that thing but when you stopped calling me,I realized you're also in pain that's why I'm sorry. I'm at our house since yesterday. I wanted to surprise you but I'm still tired because of the flight. Can you come and pick me up? Let's eat dinner
I texted her that we will go somewhere else and that she need to dressed formal. I picked up Denice and went straight to the event. It's a private event just for our company. My dad furrowed his eyebrows when he saw me walking towards them,holding Denice hand.
"Let's talk inside" my dad said and gestured me to follow him but someone joined the conversation
"Ako nalang ang kakausap" sabi ng isang matandang babae. Hindi ko siya kilala at hindi pamilyar sa'kin kaya nagulat ako nang payagan siya ng daddy ko.
Iniwan ko muna si Denice sandali doon at pumunta kung saan walang tao para mabigyan kami ng privacy
"Lola ako ni Shalian hijo kung nagtataka ka" Ngayon nag sink in sa 'kin kung bakit niya ako gustong makausap
"Alam ko naman na hindi mo mahal ang apo ko kaya makipaghiwalay ka kung hindi mo na kaya. Tapusin niyo ng maayos. Kilala ko ang apo ko,hindi niya susukuan ang taong mahal niya. Kung mas makabubuti sainyo ang maghiwalay,makipaghiwalay kana. Yun lang ang gusto kong sabihin hijo,huwag mona sanang dagdagan ang mga paghihirap niya" she said before leaving me and walked towards the old man. They leave after that.
Paghihirap?
"Let's go straight to a hotel room. Let's sleep there,together" Denice suggested when we're already inside the car. Sandali lang kami doon sa event at pinakita ko lang na nag attend ako. Mas gusto na din ng dad ko na umuwi na ako ng maaga
Dumaretso kami sa isang hotel room para doon matulog
"Do you want to... taste me?" My eyes widened when she suddenly said that.
"What? Are you serious?" Nagsalubong ang kilay ko
"You did that thing to Shalian" I know she's jealous of that girl so we did that thing that night
It's already three weeks and we're still staying here. My parents called me several times already that's why I turned off my phone
I wanted to spend my time with Denice,no one else but her.
She said she's not feeling well so I started to get worried
"Can you buy me a preganancy test?" She asked
What? Pregnancy test? Is she pregnant? I'm going to be a father?!
I immediately went to the drugstore to buy three pregnancy test
"Are you done?" I asked while waiting outside
"I'm pregnant Ian!" She shouted when she opened the door. I hugged her tight because of happiness I was feeling right now. We're going to have a family!
I decided to packed my things and make Shalian sign the annulment papers. I already prepared the papers months ago.
As I expected, Shalian will stop me but I already made my decision. I want to have family with the woman I love.
Denice fell on the floor because of Shalian so I shouted at her
"What the fvck?! She's pregnant!" I shouted out of anger. I accidentally kicked her because I was panicking
"I'm....pregnant too" she whispered
Did I heard her right?
"What did you say?" I asked
"I'm pregnant Ian.... with your child" she said in a low voice
Fvcked! I can't be the father of her child! I don't want to have a family with her!
Nagsabi ako ng mga masasakit na salita at sinabing hindi ko matatanggap ang anak niya. Inabot kona din ang annulment paper para papirmahan siya
Nagulat ako nang tumayo siya at linagpasan ako
"You can leave now. Pagod na din naman ako" sabi niya bago tuluyang lumabas ng pinto. I don't know why I felt a slight pain in my heart
We drove back to the hotel. I gave Shalian a week to leave so I guess we will still stay here until next week.
"Can you buy me milkshake downstairs?" Denice asked me the moment I woke up.I nodded and get my hoody then went straight outside the room. When I reached the ground floor,I realized that I don't have my wallet with me so I went back in
"Go now! Pabalik na siya nyan!" I heard Denice voice. Sinong kausap niya?
"Denice that is my child!" The man shouted. I furrowed my eyebrows when a man said child
"My child need a father who can provide for our needs! You left me,why are you still here?" I'm started to get curious about their conversations so I didn't went towards them and stayed hidden.
"Shalian dsserves Ian not you! Let them be happy. She wrote those letters after all" what did he just said? I started to walk towards them because I wanted to feed my curiousity
"Ian! Kanina kapa ba dyan?" Gulat na tanong ni Denice
" I heard him" I clenched my fist.
"Let me explain" she tried to explain
"Explain what? Who wrote those letters? " I asked
"Shalian wrote those letters?" the man answered. Who the hell is he?
"Y-Yes b-but I'm-" I cut her off
"She wrote those letters?!" I raised my voice
"Yes Shalian wrote those and so? You didn't give her a chance to prove herself. Poor Shalian, siya ang nagpakahirap tapos ako lang ang makikinabang. Why? Pareho lang naman tayo Ian. You hurt her! You don't deserve her Ian!" She shouted and laughed
"I don't want to see your face ever again!" I shouted before getting my wallet. I left them after that and drove as fast as I can. I need someone to answer my question! I'm not saying I will love her if I found out she wrote those letters,I'm just being curious.
It's only one day since the day I left,I'm sure she's still there
When I entered the house,there's no sign of her. I went towards her room and she's also not there. I'm being nervous about what I'm thinking so I opened the closet of that room and I was right.... there's nothing there. Just a small box. I got that box and opened it. I'm surprised to see my wedding ring there
"Bullshit!"
Where the fvck are you?!