Note: Heyo! Just so that I am not writing about 12 year olds getting mauled, I will be writing about 14 year olds getting mauled instead. So everyone in this story will be 2 years older, just to make me feel better about later chapters.
There were nights that I could barely sleep. There were nights that I would just stare up at the ceiling, like it would help or something. I just kept on thinking. The fire, the screams, no one wanted me here. Just like my previous life, nothing would change. No one wanted me, so I avoided everyone.
I rolled onto my side, panning the room of slumbering children. Less and less beds were occupied though, as kids were adopted by the months. The economy was growing, and more homes could afford little ones. But, to be honest, I wasn't really sure where I was in the world. My surroundings consisted of a barren dessert, and I spoke Japanese. Those were the only two things I knew.
Everything was incredibly old fashioned. It was constructed out of wood or clay, and poorly functioning electronics. I figured this place had to be under developed.
I was deep in thought, a twisting in my belly as the feeling expanded and receded. It was like a rubber band being stretched in my stomach.
I suddenly sat up in bed, drawing in a deep breath and very quietly slipping out of bed. I could hear Reena-san still working around the orphanage, cleaning and touching it up. With silent feet, I tip-toed my way over to the window, opened it up to the dry desert air, crawled through, and with that I'd escaped.
It was a wide, vast outside world. The faint lights of families surrounding their dinner table in houses made out of sandstone and adobe. The drunken laughter of men in taverns. Everything was.. Peaceful.
I quietly meandered through the streets of this desert town, watching the rows of merchant stalls selling their street food, some jewelers closing up for the night.
As I walked, I stumbled upon a park. It was a lonely little place. Reena-san has brought the other kids here to play occasionally, but I was never concerned about going. So I never did.
The park seemed vaguely familiar in my mind, like I've seen it before, but long before. It had an old swing set, and an adjacent slide. That was all the park had to offer, but it was still entertainment I guess.
There was no one, except for a single person. One tiny child. He seemed familiar, too familiar. He sat there on the swing, garbed in sandy brown clothes. The boy had pale skin and bright red hair. He, along with this park, seemed very lonely.
I trotted towards the boy, claiming a spot on the swing next to him. "What are you doing out here all alone?"
"I can't sleep well..." He replied meekly, his words trailing off to nowhere in particular.
I nodded in response. "Neither can I. Why can't you sleep?" I asked. I enjoyed being around this kid, he was quiet and wasn't annoying. He seemed a lot like me, alone.
"Whenever I fall asleep, bad things happen..." He responded softly after a momentary pause, as if he had to gauge whether or not to trust me.
I nodded, "I have a lot of nightmares too."
He remained quiet for a moment, like he wanted to say something, but he held his tongue. "So, what's your name?" I pushed further. Maybe we could be friends in the future. Friends, that would be nice.
"Gaara."
He uttered those words, and my breath hitched. I became frozen, like a statue.
Everything came gushing back to me.
Hard fought battles.
Blood and gore filled wars.
Leaping from tree to tree.
Branded, shiny metal headbands.
I caught my breath, my eyes now fixated on the boy. No, he was no boy. He was Gaara.
Gaara of the Sand. Responsible for an estimated hundred, or even hundreds, of deaths. It was true, that in the end, he would become an amazing person, but now was not that time.
I gulped my nerves down and forced a grin. "It's nice to meet you, my name is Himoko. I hope I can be your friend," I said nimbly.
Gaara became as still as the desert itself, a flurry of emotions filling his expression. "R-really..?" He fumbled, a small smile on his face as he stared in bafflement, like I was playing a joke on him.
"Really."
.
.
.
"Himoko! Get ready! A family is going to be coming in soon!" I heard Reena-san call as she poked her head into the doorway. I groaned as I sat up. I knew no one would want me. That was just the truth.
Why me when there were so many better choices to choose from? I drug myself out of bed, got dressed, quickly raked a brush through my messy, ash blonde hair and put it into a loose ponytail. Good enough. I brushed my teeth and made my way out into the living room where kids happily ran and played around. I just stood there, waiting for it to all be over. I would push people away before, and I pushed people away now. Nothing's changed.
So I waited. A few times Reena-san elbowed my side, gesturing me to smile, to seem more appealing, but it wouldn't have made a difference. I knew I wasn't smiling properly, it just felt weird, awkward, and I resented it. I decided to leave the frown on my face, it felt more natural.
I didn't even receive a glance in my direction. I knew it was my fault, but it still hurt.
.
.
.
It was regular that I snuck out of the orphanage to visit my new friend. We agreed on meeting each other at the library where it was quiet, and the librarian was too fearful to tell Gaara that wasn't allowed in. During those times we spent in the library we would read together. Reading, to me, was calming. Today was one of those days.
"What are you reading?" He asked.
I perked up as he questioned me. "Well, right now I'm learning about plants!" I explained. Why does he want to know? Does he know how afraid I am right now? How fast my heart is pounding in my chest?
"Ok.." He said quietly, returning to his own book about rocks. Why isn't he saying anything? Did I do something wrong?
.
.
.
There were days that I thought Gaara and I slipped further and further away from each other. I was afraid, I didn't want to die.
I knew that in this life I would die quickly, but I didn't want to die yet. So, I kept my distance. I kept Gaara at an arms length away from me. I wondered if that was the right thing to do.
It was an average night. Crisp air, wisps of sand wafting through the wind as they were flown far away from this village, Suna.
"Hey," I said as I strolled up to Gaara, my footsteps nearly undetectable. I must've startled him as he jumped up in his swing. His sand rapidly lurched out to grasp me without warning. I shuddered as I felt the course grains chafe across my skin, coiling around my body. But as quickly as it came, the sand collapsed to its rightful place on the ground.
"Hey..." Gaara replied nonchalantly, as if he hadn't tried to attack me just then. I could barely make out his despondent tone, cold and quiet. I was still frozen in panic momentarily. I brushed off my near death experience, all for being a little too quiet, and took a seat on the swing next to Gaara.
"I know that you don't want to be around me. So, why...?" Gaara sighed, pushing his hands into his face. I hesitated, recalling the many lives that were thieved, by his sand. What was his name again? Rock Lee, that was it. His legs crushed, by his sand. Endless unidentifiable corpses, by his sand.
I gulped, inhaling sharply. "Because... I want to be your friend."
Gaara paused, seemingly unsure of what to say as he didn't mutter a word.
"I-"
"I know you're afraid."
"I am."
"You can go if you want. I know there are other people to be around other than me."
Gaara's offer weighed heavy in my mind. I swallowed down the lump in my throat. I don't want to be alone. "Not right now. I need a friend too."
And that was it. That was all we said to each other that night, and it was all we needed to say. Because I wasn't alone, so this life wasn't awful. I huffed, gazing up into the clear, desert sky.
You could never see the moon so clearly in New York before.
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The art up above it mine! Please do not use it without my permission!