I wake up to the smell of bacon filling my nose. I squint my eyes at the harsh sunlight coming from the window because I forgot to put the blinds down last night. I was rather... occupied last night. I look over at the clock, and it's 9:30, and I am alone in bed. I can only assume the smell of bacon is from Tessa cooking. When I take the comforter off my body, I am fucking freezing. I fell asleep in my underwear last night, but New York winter mornings are relentlessly cold. There is frost covering the corners of our bedroom window as proof that it's probably ten degrees below freezing outside. I put on a sweatshirt and sweatpants before I head out, and turn the heat up to warm the house up.
As I make my way to the kitchen, I hear the faint sound of Frank Sinatra playing, and I know that Tessa is cooking. She always listens to him when in the kitchen, saying that her mother used to play his music while she cooked. When I step in, my eyes widen at all the food laid out on the counter. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, french toast, fruit... Tessa went all fucking out for the two of us.
"Good morning!" She smiles at me. Tessa is fully dressed in a sweater dress with wool tights, and only she would be so put together this early in the morning.
"What's with all the food? You think you and I are going to eat all of this?" I walk over to her as she places more pieces of bread on the pan. I swiftly kiss her cheek.
"Of course not, your mum and Mike are coming over for breakfast in about twenty minutes before their flight."
"What? I thought they left already."
"No, they went to a hotel last night to give us some... privacy... on our wedding night." She smirks, and I smile too at the memories of last night.
"Oh..." I take a piece of french toast off the plate, and Tessa scolds me. She's acting like there isn't enough food for everyone.
"Go get dressed, they're gonna be here soon." She shoos me off playfully.
I walk back to my room to get dressed, aka just put on a new pair of underwear and some pants. I hate getting dressed when I don't need to, it's honestly so fucking infuriating, but if it makes Tessa happy, then I guess it isn't too bad. I attempt to tame my hair with a comb, but it's refusing to fucking cooperate with me. I don't know why the smallest things are making me aggravated right now, but I want to rip the one piece of my hair that won't fucking stay down out of my head.
"Fuck this." I whisper to myself as I head to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I open the medicine cabinet to retrieve my morning toothpaste, but to my fucking convenience, the toothpaste is empty. This morning just keeps getting better, I swear.
"Tess!" I scream from the bathroom, but she doesn't answer. "Tessa!" I open the door so she can hear me better.
"Yeah?" She yells back.
"I'm out of toothpaste, is there anymore?"
"Check the drawers in the bathroom!" She yells and I scramble to find some more toothpaste, opening all of the drawers. Nope, no toothpaste.
"It's not in the drawers!"
"Just use your nighttime toothpaste." Tessa yells again. "And make it quick, they're gonna be here any minute."
Fuck! I am weird in that I use two different toothpastes. I honestly don't know why I do, but I like to use a stronger toothpaste during the day than at night. I don't like messing up that routine.
"Wait, there may be some in our bedroom. I swear I bought some a couple weeks ago." Tessa says. I really fucking hope so.
I open all the drawers in our bedroom, sifting through all the crap in them to see if there are any more tubes of toothpaste. I open up my drawer, and thankfully Tessa was right. There is a whole package of them, but on top of them is a familiar looking piece of paper. I pick up the folded paper, and I already forgot that it was in my bedside table.
The DNA test.
I should've just shredded it when I had the chance, I still don't really understand why the fuck I didn't. The deepest part of me wants to know the answer, that can be the only explanation. I know I could never open it without Tessa here beside me, but of course I had to lie to her and shred a fake piece of paper in front of her.
"Hardin, did you end up finding it?" Tessa bursts into the room.
"Uh... yeah! It was in my drawer." I take the paper and shove it back in there, but Tessa is very observant.
"What was that?" She asks me, walking over.
"My morning toothpaste." I shake the package. "Thanks for getting it for me."
"I mean that piece of paper that you had in your hand, then quickly shoved back into your drawer." She raises her eyebrows at me.
"Nothing..." I move to walk past her, but she stops me and shoves me to sit on the bed.
"Hardin..."
"Just a piece of paper." I tell her, which is true. It is just a piece of paper... with extremely important information on it.
"It's the DNA test isn't it." How the fuck did she know?
My stomach drops. "How did you know?"
"Hardin, I know you. You think I really believed that you shredded that piece of paper?" She smirks and takes a seat next to me.
"I'm sorry I lied to you about it."
"It's fine. Are you gonna open it?"
"I don't know..."
"Do you want to do it alone? I can leave you-" She stands up, but I pull her arm back down.
"No, that's the last thing I would want. If I do open this, I want you to be here with me. Would you?"
She places her hand on my arm. "Of course."
"I just... I don't think... I'm not ready yet."
"That's fine. You don't have to be ready now." She gives me a reassuring smile as the doorbell rings. "Oh, that's them! Now hurry up and brush your teeth with your special toothpaste, you freak." She rolls her eyes at my weird habits as she gets up to answer the door.
"You're one to talk!" I shout after her.
"Get ready!" She yells back, and I laugh. I love when she gets testy with me, but she honestly is one to talk. That girl has so many weird habits she shouldn't be judging me just because I like to brush my teeth with two different toothpastes.
When I finish getting ready, I meet Tessa, my mum and Mike out in our main room. The table is set and filled with enough food to feed our entire neighborhood.
"There's my boy." My mum runs up to me, and gives me a hug. "Newly married." She squeezes my cheek, and I roll my eyes. She knows I hate when she does that
"Yep." I sit next to Tessa at the table and begin piling food onto my plate.
"Tessa was telling me about how you are thinking of going to Europe for your honeymoon! You guys should come visit England!"
My mouth drops, and I almost choke on the coffee in my mouth. "No way."
"What? Why not? Don't you miss home?" She frowns, but I don't really care. I'm not going to fucking England, not after last time.
"I'd love to back to England one day." Tessa says to try and turn the conversation into something more positive, but it's not happening.
"We're probably going to go to France or Italy. Not England."
"Oh, but you'll be right there!"
I say no, as Tessa says, "We'll see what we can do."
"Oh, thank you, Tessa. I just miss you two so much, and when both of our babies come into this world, I want you two to be apart of it, and vice versa of course."
"We want that too." Tessa answers for the both of us, and then looks to me. My mum stares at me with sad eyes as I just sit here, taking bites of my pancake.
"Well, anyways... I've had a such a fun time since I've been here, more fun than last time. I think I like New York better than rainy Washington."
"We like it here better too."
"I was telling Hardin before that I didn't picture him as a city boy. Even if he were to return home to England, I'd have a feeling he'd lived in the suburbs of London or something."
"I mean, I always pictured myself as a city girl, just not New York City." Tessa laughs. "But now that I'm here, I feel like this is where I truly belong."
"I'm so glad." My mum keeps looking at me, and I am making no effort to join the conversation. "There is no better feeling than finding out where you truly belong."
"What?" I speak up after she doesn't stop staring at me for two long. Why do I have a feeling that she was talking to me about finding out where I truly belong.
"Do you feel like you truly belong here?"
"No." I say a little too quickly, and Tessa's eyes widen. "Well, I belong wherever Tessa is, so if that's here, than this is where I belong."
Honestly, I belong in England. It's my home, and will always be that way. Even though I have a shit ton of awful memories and have spent nearly eight years in the States, I have a heavy accent to prove that I don't belong in America. Tessa's in America though, so England will never be my home again.
"Oh. Of course." My mum smiles.
"I'll upload this photos I took to my computer, then send you guys a file with all the photos on it." Mike mentions, and a smile returns to Tessa's face.
"Oh great, thanks again!" Tessa thanks my stepfather.
"Well, we should get going, it was nice seeing you for one last time before our flight back." She hugs Tessa and kisses her on the cheek, then walks over to me.
"Goodbye, Hardin." She squeezes me tight. "I hope you really consider visiting me soon in England. You haven't been home in so long."
"It's not my home anymore..." I tell her, and she nods, obviously upset. "But, I'll try." I say to make her feel better, and it works. She perks up, and claps her hands together.
I shake Mike's hand before him and my mum leave to go back to England. The door closes, and I wrap my arm around Tessa's shoulder. She looks at me for a brief moment before storming off to our bedroom.
Well, our post-marital bliss is over.