𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒, dream

Da simplyflaw

1.7M 51.4K 72.7K

❝ why are you throwing bonemeal at me?!" ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ"so you grow the fuck up. ❞ 𝗮𝗺𝗯𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 [𝘢𝘮... Altro

000. prologue
001. the portmanteau's legacy
002. everyone meet god
003. drawing trees on paper
004. appear weak when you are strong and strong when you are weak
006. the war to end all wars but not quite
007. someone dictate my will, i'm giving it all to waddles
008. may the 4th be with you
009. i was having a good sleep
010. get out, i need to go to my mind palace
011. gay dinosaur
012. they're just besties
013. shut up, george
014. I think you cracked the case, steve
015. always the goddamn babysitter
016. only in florida
017. the only straight I am is a straight-up bitch
018. act fool
019. shut up emily
020. ten minutes and thirty-nine seconds
021. we had some laughs, it was fun
022. I don't even know a samantha
023. I think there's been some confusion, I'm not the one in trouble here
024. it's the confidence for me
025. are you happy to be in paris?
026. you don't have a TV?
027. it's definitely not excité
028. I say more dumb shit before 9am than most people do all day
029. love or host
030. cereal killer
031. the turning point
032. mother knows best
033. cooties
034. abort mission
035. is there something you want to hear?
036. muffin
037. flatty patty
038. barbie says you're a piece of shit
039. achievement unlocked: the end?
040. achievement unlocked: the end.

005. i solemnly swear that i am up to no good

52.3K 1.5K 2.5K
Da simplyflaw


-ˋˏ 𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 ˎˊ-

chapter five
· ━━━━━━ ୨💌୧ ━━━━━━ ·
❝ I solemnly swear that I am up to no good ❞




















-ˋˏ irl! ˎˊ-




















"You know what this means, Malak," Tubbo grinned, screen sharing the open Twitter tab with the other two people in the call. "You know what this means."

Phe0niX | @Phe0niX · 1d
if this tweet gets 150k likes
209k ❤ㅤ11k 💬ㅤ23k 🔁

Phe0niX | @Phe0niX
WHERE THE FUCK DID HALF OF YOU
GUYS EVEN COME FROM

Tubbo | @TubboLive
haha likes go brrr

Phe0niX | @Phe0niX
Tubbo that is not what we agreed on

Tubbo | @TubboLive
oh

user 1 | @username1
AGREED ON WHAT

George | @Georgenotfound
LOL

Phe0niX | @Phe0niX
THIS WASN'T THE DEAL

George |@Georgenotfound
what are you talking about what deal

Phe0niX | @Phe0niX
I'd tell you how I really feel right now, George, but I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to express myself in this case.

Wilbur Soot | @WilburSoot
@Phe0niX oh this one's a REALLY good one. I'm impressed.

TommyInnit @tommyinnit
@WilburSoot Malak does not crave your validation as much as you think she does

user 2 | @username2
YOU GUYS MADE A DEAL?!??!

Dream | @Dreamwastaken
ratio

Phe0niX | @Phe0niX
DREAM YOU ASSHOLE YOU RATIOED
ME

Dream | @Dreamwastaken
I didn't know you could read

Phe0niX | @Phe0niX
STFU I PROMISE YOU DON'T WANT
TO RATIO ME OPEN DISCORD

Dream | @Dreamwastaken
FUCK HOW DO YOU DELETE A TWEET

Phe0niX | @Phe0niX
DREAM YOU DUMBASS THIS IS EVEN
WORSE NOW EVERYONE WILL OPEN
THEIR NOTIFICATIONS

Dream | @Dreamwastaken
NOBODY CLICK ON THIS

Phe0niX | @Phe0niX
YOU ARE NOT HELPING

user 2 | @username2
me as soon as I got this notif 🏃🏻‍♀️

Sapnap | @Sapnap
now what

user 3 | @username3
now we wait

user 4 | @username4
what hack did you use this time

user 5 | @username5
that's a lot more than just 150k likes

user 1 | @username1
and yet I still have no idea about what's
even happening

user 3 | @username3
@username1 I don't think anyone's
got a clue

user 5 | @username5
maybe it's about George and Tubbo
helping Malak reset her twitch account?

user 3 | @username3
@username5 AYO???

"Don't say it like that," Malak mumbled. "Now I'm scared."

"You should be," George chuckled and leaned back in his chair, cuddling his cat close to his chest. "It's Tubbo."

The two Brits had kept true to their word about wanting to help Malak get back into streaming.

This is how the three of them― Malak, George, and Tubbo― found themselves sat together, chilling in a VC.

"No, there's nothing to be― WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'IT'S TUBBO', GEORGE?" the youngest gasped, clearly taking offence to that. "HOW DARE YOU!"

George tried to keep a straight face, but he ended up cracking. Malak dissolved into her own puddle of giggles as well.

"HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!" Tubbo trailed off. "HOW― oh, alright," he laughed. "Alright, okay. Let's just get you up and going, Malak."

"Now you're making it sound like I'm your grandma and you're forcing me to get out of my bed," Malak replied and Tubbo laughed even harder. "Tubbo, please."

"I was going to say he was babying you, but I'm now realizing that your comment makes much more sense," George noted.

Malak chuckled, "Aren't I older than him?"

"Yeah, you are," Tubbo nodded. "But that is beside the point! Lady and Gent we are gathered here today to prepare Malak for the one hell of a journey farming clout will be."

"Yes, yes," Malak sighed. "I cannot wait to reach my full potential and become the greatest clout chaser one can be."

"Malak, don't put words in my mouth. I'm dyslexic."

"Oh."




















-ˋˏ time skip! ˎˊ-




















"What is a L'manberg?" Malak frowned and looked away from her live chat. "Did I read that right?"

After they had sorted out her settings and explained to her how things now worked, which took much less time than they had anticipated, George bid Malak good luck, to have fun, and left as he had something important to do.

Tubbo, on the other hand, took it upon himself to be the person to guide her through her first stream. And, seeing as he was expected to go live, he decided to take Malak on an official tour of the server as her first stream back.

"It's a nation Wilbur founded," Tubbo explained as he showed her around his jungle base. "We declared independence from the rest of the SMP."

"Really?" Malak wondered and glanced at the recent notification that popped up on her phone's screen.

💜 TWITCHㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ19:05 PM
Tubbo is live: TODAY AM TOUR GUIDE! (dream smp)

"Yeah," Tubbo replied. "Something about separating the Europeans from the rest of the server."

"Does that not automatically make me a citizen of L'manburg?" Malak asked, trading with some of his villagers. "You know, since I'm French."

"Not necessarily," mumbled Tubbo as he checked his brewing stands. "George is British, but he's not a part of L'manburg. Everyone else who is European is though!"

"Ah, okay," she hummed. "Who here is a citizen of L'manburg, then?"

"It's Wilbur, Tommy, Fundy, Eret, and I so far," he responded. "Oh! Would you like to help us achieve independence?"

Malak raised her eyebrows, "But didn't you say you've already announced it?"

"Well, yes," Tubbo nervously laughed. "But you see, Dream's not too happy about it so he may or may not have declared war."

Malak blinked stupidly, "What?"

"Yeah!" Tubbo exclaimed very cheerfully. "And I've been preparing for it too! For when it's all about to go down, y'know?"

"You seem," she paused. "Enthusiastic."

"I've brewed over a dozen splash potions of harming, instant damage two, and have at least three separate sets of diamond armour ready!" he beamed and Malak smiled.

"Oh! I see. Is there anything I could help you with?"

"Uh," Tubbo pondered and quickly looked into his chests. "I don't think so."

"What about enchantments?" she asked. "I've got fifty-three levels right now, do those three sets of diamond armour have any enchantments on them?"

Tubbo gasped, "Now that I think about it, no they don't."

"Do you have an enchanting table?"

"Shit, man," pouted Tubbo. "No, I don't."

"That's alright," Malak laughed. "I've got one in my ender chest so we can just use that."

GeorgeNotFound has completed the challenge [Subspace Bubble]

"Oh," Tubbo suddenly whined and rushed to open one of the three chests standing at the entrance of his house. "George is at my house."

"He's here?" Malak raised her brows. "But I thought he had something else
to do?"

"Dammit," Tubbo groaned. "They're here― They're here to kill me."

Malak watched him run from one chest to another in an attempt to gather as much as he can and throw everything back in the ender chest.

Instinctively, she put away her diamond armour and netherite tools stored in her inventory safely in the ender chest as well.

The two silently anticipated whoever 'they' were; Tubbo quietly sorted out his ender chest while Malak paced around his house.

"Yep, there we go―" Tubbo began.

Tubbo_ was shot by Sapnap using [Sap LazerBeam]

"WE GOT IT ALL IN THE CHEST, BOYS," he cheered proudly. "WE GOT IT IN THE CHEST."

"Oh my," Malak muttered as she watched Dream, Sapnap and George walk onto his base. They were followed, however, by a fourth player that went by Punz. "What is going on, Tubbo?"

"OH MY GOD," Tubbo respawned next to his bed. "WE ACTUALLY DID IT."

Malak squinted as the players in netherite armour walked over to where she stood.

Sapnap and George greeted her, Dream ignored her presence, focusing on picking up the useless junk Tubbo had on him, and Punz remained unphased.

"TAKE THE L," Tubbo snickered.

Malak peaked at her chat.

username1: uhhh

username2: OMG IT'S HAPPENING

username3: NO THEY HURT BEE BOY

username4: HAHA FINALLY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE

username5: is no one going to talk about how she offered to help Tubbo?

username6: DREAM SHE'S LITERALLY STANDING RIGHT THERE WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR

username7: NOT TUBBO

username8: something about her putting that armour away‼️‼️‼️

username9: TUBBO BIG BRAIN MOMENT

username10: so are we going to be the Switzerland to their World War or?

username11: @username8 she knows

username12: GEORGE AND SAPNAP AW

username13: what's going on 😦

username14: Malak don't be shy put that armour back on

username15: SO ALL OF US HERE ARE IN AGREEMENT RIGHT?

"YOU CAN'T GET JACK SHIT," mocked Tubbo. "YOU CAN'T GET JACK― OH! OH, YOU'RE WEARING YOUR ARMOUR! YOU'RE WEARING YOUR ARMOUR ARE YOU?!"

Malak stared as Tubbo continuously made fun of the four other people, and, in turn, got himself killed over and over again.

Tubbo_ was shot by Sapnap using [Sap LazerBeam]

Tubbo_ was shot by GeorgeNotFound

Tubbo_ was slain by Sapnap using [Sapnap's Schlong]

The third time, however, Tubbo had broken his bed so he respawned back at spawn where he was a good twelve thousand blocks away from them.

"AND NOW WE'RE BACK AT SPAWN―" Tubbo gasped as he came to the horrible realization that he had forgotten someone behind. "OH MY GOD, MALAK, I FORGOT ABOUT YOU!"

"That's okay," she replied, slowly backing away from the glances Dream, Sapnap and George were sharing. "They seem to be in a... quarrel."

Dream had taken a step towards her and, immediately, Sapnap and George were punching him, clearly in disagreement.

Punz simply did not care, busy trading with Tubbo's villagers.

Malak took the opportunity and stored as much of the splash potions Tubbo had left behind into her inventory.

But in that spare moment, Dream had hit her so she grabbed the last of the potions and made a break for the nether portal.

"I'm going to be very bold with you right now, Malak―"

"OH GOD, TUBBO," Malak yelled as she sprinted away, unintentionally cutting him off. "THE GREEN GOBLIN'S AFTER ME."

"Wha― Who?" Tubbo spluttered.

"THE SPLASH POTIONS, TUBBO," Malak repeated, speeding towards the portal.

"OH MY GOD," he doubled up. "MALAK, YOU DIDN'T."

"I GOT THEM, I DO," she cackled, pressing F5 twice to display the front of her character to her viewers.

Dream was a few blocks behind her, Sapnap and George right on his tail.

If they had been trying to get Dream off her back then they made a poor attempt at that, seeing as they had accidentally boosted him towards her.

"MALAK, THE POWER TOWER!" Tubbo gasped as an idea dawned over him.

"Pardon?"

"The tower by Tommy's base," he replied. "The one with the portal on top."

"What about it?" she asked, finally making it to the portal and stepping in.

"It's the only portal back to the overworld since you're all above the nether roof," he blabbered. "I've got a plan that involves lots of obsidian and end crystals, I need to know if you can actually make it out of there alive."

Malak walked out unto the nether roof and cursed under her breath, skimming through her inventory.

"The odds are not in my favour, Tubbo," she admitted, grabbing a boat as soon as Dream made it through the portal. "Do what you gotta do."

"I'm going to have to call Tommy," he informed her.

"I'll try and slow them down as much as I can," she nodded, deciding it was a better idea to not use the boat seeing as Dream was after her and not after Tubbo.

And if Dream was chasing her then Sapnap and George would trail behind him as well.

As for Punz, well, he hadn't run after her like Dream, Sapnap and George did so she prayed he remained distracted by the villagers.

True to her calculations, Dream, Sapnap and George ran after her and Punz still had not showed up.

"I'll be back, I promise," Tubbo told as
he left the call and Malak was too busy running away to notice that someone had moved her from one voice channel to another one.

"DREAM, STOP!" George begged and Malak jumped at the loud voice, setting her back. "YOU CAN'T KILL HER."

Now in Dream's range, he was finally able to get a hit on her, setting her on fire in the process as a result of the fire aspect on his sword.

Malak did not falter and kept running.

"DREAM!" Sapnap yelled.

The_Eret joined the game

ItsFundy joined the game

<The_Eret> GENTLEMEN

<The_Eret> IT IS TIME

<ItsFundy> ERET

<ItsFundy> YES

Malak had little to no clue what was going on. But she figured, considering she was being chased by Dream, that this is what Tubbo had meant by 'when it's all about to go down.'

Is this the part where she had to choose a side?

"STOP, DREAM!" George called again.

She thought about how she offered to enchant Tubbo's armour and snuck the last of his potions; maybe she's already chosen one?

"Shut up, Sapnap," Dream ignored him and continued his chase.

But she didn't want to feel bad about having already accidentally chosen a side, considering Sapnap and George were trying to help her right now.

"Dream, stop being a pissbaby and leave her alone," George ordered.

Malak hummed and toggled her F5 key, squinting her eyes at Dream.

"Just know that if you do kill me, Dream," she began carefully. "I will not hesitate."

"Hesitate to what?" George asked.

Dream remained quiet; she was giving him the choice.

"Don't you fucking dare," Sapnap warned him.

Malak patiently waited for his response, the grin tugging at her lips growing wider and wider.

"Oh, come on, Sapnap," Dream replied, finally getting on the same page she was on. "Where's the fun in that?"

That was enough of an answer.

Without wasting another second, Malak abruptly turned around and spammed at him as many splash potions of harming she could before he could even realise.

"OH, YOU MOTHERFUCKER―" Dream gasped and Malak squealed in excitement.

"HA!" She snorted a laugh. "GOTTEM."

Dream grinned, although she could not tell, "YOU ARE SO ON!"

Phe0niX was shot by Dream using [DEFINITELY NOT PENIS]

"What just happened?" George mumbled.

Malak groaned, "Dude, I got in, like, five potions. How did you not die?"

"I have no idea," Sapnap replied to George.

Dream chuckled, "You're just so bad at this game."

"Shh― seriously though," Malak insisted. "How many?"

"Half a heart."

"SHUT UP."




















-ˋˏ 💌 ˎˊ-




















author's note

they are bonding 🙈❤

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