Just Too Sick To Function

By ttalgi28

767 34 1

Bounderies. Can we break them? Thoughts. Will we be able to let go of them? Status: FINISHED Start: June 3, 2... More

Prologue
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Epilogue
Message

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By ttalgi28

Meryl's POV

Nasa labas ako ng room ko dahil pupuntahan ko si Emma, I've been in the bed for the past days now, I miss her

I hope she's okay now, I can't really describe how unmotivated she looks, it's not a very Emma thing.

Anyways, nakita kong wala si Marcus sa room niya, I wonder where he is

Nagpatuloy nalang ako sa paglalakad

Nang malapit na ako sa room ni Emma, nakita ako ni Rosa, bago pmn ako makapasok, sinabihan niya akong wala daw siya sa room niya

"Huh? Edi nasan siya?", I asked

"Mag didiner daw sila ni Marcus", simpleng sabi ni Rosa.

"Marcus?", I heard joy in my tone, "Bati na sila?"

Bobo, baka di alam ni Rosa

"I guess so honey, why don't you go along with them?"

I am so happy, I can't believe it, excited na akong makita sila

"Thanks Rosa, thank you talaga!", I exclaimed.

Nagmamadali akong pumunta sa elevator

Nang makarating ako sa cafeteria, nakita kong nag hoholding hands ang dalawa

Sandali, kalma ka lang Meryl, kalma

"Pota shet, kinikilig ako", bulong kong sabi sa sarili ko

Hindi nila ako napansin or nakita

Kaya naplanohan kong magpaselos-selos dahil hindi nila ako sinama

I approached them pero hindi sila lumingon, focus na focus sa eachother, nakaka-inis siya somehow.

"Ehem", I made the sound, "excuse me"

Nagulat pa si Emma

Binitawan nila ang kanilang mga kamay

"O.A mo", I commented at her action

"Oy Meryl, nandito ka na pala", sabi ni Marcus

"Oo no! Kanina pa kaya ako nandito, inlove kayo ah? Bakit? Kayo na?"

Kinikilig si Emma sa sinasabi ko, nag cringe ako

"Tekaaa! Teka lang!", with hand gestures pa, "nagseselos ako", I crossed my arm

Walang umimik sa kanila, tiningnan lang nila ako, "duh! Hindi kayo nagsabi na mag dinner pala together", I rolled my eyes at them

Binigyan ako ni Emma ng sandaling tawa.

"Sorry Meryl", tumayo siya at yinakap ako, binigyan niya ako ng kiss sa cheeks, ang excited naman ni Emma, sayang saya sis?

"Sooo?", I'm waiting for the answer of my question earlier

Binigyan ako ng malaking ngiti ni Emma, she intertwined her fingers to Marcus' and happily said to me, "oo! Kami na"

I am shocked, too shocked even

"OMAYGHADDDD!!!! OMAYGHADDD!!!", ang lakas ng boses ko kaya agad itong tinakpan ni Emma pero hindi ako tumigil

"Hoyy shit!!", pinilit ko paring sabihin

Tumawa si Marcus at triny ni Emma na hindi tumawa

Short after, she removed her hands from my mouth as I keep on hitting her.

Sinapak ko rin si Marcus, "pero puta shet, ba't ngayon niyo lang sinabi, kailan pato ha?", I rolled my eyes at them, "Edi wow guys!"

"Kanina lang naman, may plano kaya kaming sabihan ka, duh, pwede ba namang hindi?", Emma uttered

"Ayieieie, nakakabigay ligaya, sobra!", I said

"Well..", Marcus said

"Kayo ha, ang o.a niyo, ito lang pala ang ending, hays", I said

I am really happy for them, I'm gonna support them until my last breath

Until my last breath

--------------------------

Emma's POV

Nandito na ako sa room ko, hindi parin ako makapaniwala sa mga nangyari kanina, sa araw na'to

Sobra, I am so happy that I even got to tell my mom what happened, it's crazy

Now, she's here, sleeping at the visitor's chair.

She didn't oppose to it or even hated the idea, she's happy for me actually.

I can't help but feel very happy that now, I'm having trouble sleeping

Pa ulit-ulit ko nalang binasa conversation namin ni Marcus

Kinikilig ako, sobra

Hindi ako nag eexpect, iba talaga ang tama pag inlove ano?

Akalain mo, isang Emma Dela Cruz magiging ganito, hays, pano nayan self?

Well, I'm not complaining.

-------------------------------

The next morning came

Si Rosa ang una kong nakita, prineprepare niya ang pagkain ko before I go on my dialysis

Hindi agad ako umimik, pinipikit-pikit ko pa mga mata ko

"Ang aga mo naman, may dialysis schedule 'tong si Emma"

Huh? Who's she talking to?

I opened my eyes widely as I hear a manly voice

"And that's why I'm checking on her"

Sandali

Bumangon ako at inayos sarili ko, nakita ko si Marcus

Si Marcus talaga

At narinig kong may nag flush sa C.R

"Marcus?!", I'm shocked

"Goodmorning Emma", he smiled

"Goodmorning honey, you should get ready for today's schedule", Rosa said afterwards

I nodded, lumapit si Marcus sa'kin pero lumayo ako, pumunta ako sa CR, pero bago ko pa naman na open yung door, lumabas si Meryl

"Goodmorning sleeping beauty", she jokingly said

"Goodmorning", at dumiretso ako sa CR

Tiningnan ko ang sarili ko sa mirror

Ang haggard

Palagi ka namang haggard Emma, sabi ng utak ko

Nag wash nalang ako ng face ko, pagkalabas ko, nakita ko si Meryl nagtake ng pictures sa outside world gamit ang window ko

At si Marcus naman, tiningnan yung mga pictures na denidesign ko.

"Oh andito na, kompleto na ang mga kailangan mo bago ang dialysis mo, I'll be back", sabi ni Rosa

Tumigil na sila Marcus at Meryl sa mga ginagawa nila

Bumalik ako sa bed ko, "Thanks Rosa, what would I do without you?", I said

"No problem baby, it's my job", she smiled

Lumapit sila Marcus at Meryl sa'kin habang palabas na si Rosa

"Ang aga niyo ah, kumakain naba kayo?", tanong ko

"Hindi pa", sagot naman ni Marcus, binigyan ko siya ng isang masamang tingin, "di, joke lang, ofcourse naman", sabi niya ka agad

"So you're going on dialysis again?", may pa pout pa'tong si Meryl

"Yep, keeps me alive", I said with a funny tone, "what are you guys been up to these days, we didn't got to catch up on eachother yesterday"

"Okay lang ako, minomonitor parin naman sa mga doktor", sabi ni Marcus, "na alala mo ba yung sabi ko na lumala raw yung sakit ko?", tanong niya sakin

"Oh bakit?", tanong ko naman kaagad

"The doctors now said I'm slowly getting better, C immitis is in fact, curable without even any treatments", he stopped and looked at me

"The doctors were even relieved how I didn't got the aspergillosis even though I have weakened immune system, but I'll get better soon, better than this, that's for sure", he uttered

I'm happy for him

"That's great news, really", I commented

Tahimik naman si Meryl kaya lumingon ako sa kanya, "eh ikaw madam?", tanong ko sa kanya

She let out a short laugh, "I swear you don't wanna know"

Marcus and I looked at eachother, as Meryl noticed it, she said, "oh it's nothing guys, promise gagaling ako, tapos makapag shopping na tayo, laro arcade games"

I hate the way she sounds, it's like she's unsure, very unsure.

"Meryl", I started

"Don't get me started Ems, I'll survive, okay?", she asked for it so I stopped

"Okay, I love you. We love you, okay?", sabi ko

She rolled her eyes at me, na feel kong ngumiti si Marcus, "yeah whatever, kumain ka na, may schedule ka pa naman"

------------------

"I will always be here with you", sabi ni Meryl

"Eh, promise yan ha?", tanong ko, nagtataka dahil parang goodbye message

"Oo, ano ka ba!? Ba't naman kita iiwan?", sabi niya

Ngumiti nalang ako

Nakita ko si Marcus sa hindi kalayuan, "Hi Marcus!", bati ko sa kanya

Pero hindi siya umimik, diretso-diretso ang paglalakad niya patungo sa akin

Inabot niya ang kamay ko, tumayo ako sa kung saan ako naka-upo

Nakatalikod na ako kay Meryl ngayon

Tumingin si Marcus kay Meryl na may mga luha sa mata, ni hindi ko naman nakita 'yon kanina

"Goodbye Meryl", tinig ni Marcus

Naguguluhan ako! Bakit?

Lumingon ako kay Meryl at nakikita ko siyang nag struggle sa tubig, tubig na bigla bigla nalang nagpakita

I kept on moving but I somehow can't move, tiningnan ko si Marcus, tumutulo lang yung mga luha niya

"Hoy! Tulungan natin siya", sabi ko sa kanya

Hindi umimik si Marcus

"Marcus! Wag ka namang ganyan, you're scaring me", triny kung lumayo pero para kaming nasa box

"Marcus!", I am shaking him like I am waking up a person pero hindi siya nag rerespond

"Meryl, teka lang, sandali", triny kong tinanggal ang mga sapatos na ginagamit ko pero nang lumingon ako ulit kay Meryl, wala na siya

Wala na rin si Marcus...

Ako nalang ba mag isa? Ako na naman?

"No!!! Shit! Wag! Hindi ito pwede!", umiyak na ako, cried like there's tomorrow

So much grieve, so much sorrow.

Nagising ako sa panaginip ko, may tumutulong luha sa mukha ko at naramdaman ko ang sakit sa puso ko

Parang totoo

Nakatulog pala ako, I thought

I wiped my tears

What if that dream was a sign?

"Hey gorgeous", napalingon ako sa tawag niya, si Marcus pala

Am I feeling the wrong vibe or is there something really going on?

Marcus is however smiling but still carries this negative energy

Kaya tinanong ko siya ka agad.

"Sa'n si Meryl?", I asked

Hindi siya umimik kaagad, kumuha muna siya ng upuan at tumabi sa'kin, "nasa room niya, nagpapahinga", he replied

Why is she not here?

"Why? May nangyari ba?", I asked again

Hindi na naman niya ako sinagot kaagad

After awhile, he just nodded, he was hesitant but he did

"Then we should go, we should check on her"

Pero tinigilan niya ako at hinawakan ang kamay ko, "what are you doing? We should go", may mga luha ng lumalabas sa mga mata ko

Nanginginig na ako

Shit, Meryl naman e

"Hey, hey, look at me", triny niyang pakalmahin ako, "Emma, look at me"

I looked at him

"You---you wanna know what happened?", he asked

"Yes please", hagulhol kong sabi

"Don't--don't-- please, let's calm ourselves Emma", he said

"Marcus naman eh", umiiyak na talaga ako

Hindi siya umimik, tinitigan niya lang ako. He is clearly waiting for me to calm

Once, I calmed myself

"She's getting weaker, she might not be able to join us anymore, she'll be in her room for the rest of the year", he said

"But she'll be fine, right? She'll---she'll survive, right?", I asked

It's stupid but I asked

"I'm---I'm not--, I don't know", he simply said it

Hindi ko na kinaya, nag breakdown nalang ako sa harap ni Marcus

I knew this would come, and this is what I'm most scared of

Losing people

Losing them

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