𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙪𝙣𝙠𝙤𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙮 𝙨𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 TW
TW: depression, self-harm, attempted suicide
in no way am i trying to romanticise mental health, it should always be taken seriously no matter the circumstance. this is based off of a personal experience.
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𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙧𝙙 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣 +
flashback...
y/n had suffered with depression for a long time, she didn't talk about it much, she was a private person. she kept her issues between her and her therapist.
nobody ever suspected it, nobody could look past the fake smiles and jokes. she was a master of disguise. even at her lowest points she hid everything perfectly.
but the past eight months she had found someone who had kept her spark going.
vinnie.
vinnie hacker had walked into her life and brought her some of the happiest memories and moments shes ever had. he gave her a reason to get out of bed every morning and carry on with her life.
y/n hadn't felt true happiness for years until vinnie. and
vinnie felt the same way about her.
y/n had opened vinnie's eyes and made him see the true beauty of loving someone, and he loved y/n more than words could explain.
but sometimes even the person who brings you the most happiness can't save you, because you're too far gone.
y/n's shaky hands grabbed the anti-depressants from the bathroom cupboard, before slumping her weak body onto the floor. she shuffled up against the bath, leaning her back against it.
y/n woke up this morning and decided she couldn't deal with it anymore, she couldn't deal with the depression, she couldn't deal with the anxiety and deep self-hatred she grew for herself over the years. she was done.
she didn't write any notes, she didn't leave any tapes or voice recordings. she wasn't like that, she just wanted to die, she didn't want to go through the pain of leaving things for people. she hadn't the energy to do so.
she fumbled with the pill bottle, throwing the lid onto the floor beside her. her eyes momentarily glanced down to her phone, revealing her lock screen, a photo of her kissing vinnie's cheek, huge smiles on both of their faces.
she scrunched her eyes shut, choking back a sob.
she poured some pills into her hand, around 12 sitting there. her hands shook as she dropped the half full bottle onto the floor, the sound of the plastic crashing filled the silence in the air.
she took one last breath moving her shaky hand towards her mouth before a sound from beside her made her jump slightly. her eyes slowly looked down to her phone to see a photo of vinnie and her flashing across her screen with his name. she gulped, picking up the phone with her free hand and swiping across to answer.
"hello?", she answered, biting back a sob.
"hey angel i'm outside if you could let me in? i left the spare key you gave me at home and didn't realise i left it until i pulled up," vinnie chuckled.
it was silent for a few moments, y/n's eyes closed as she took deep breaths.
"are you okay angel?", vinnie asked, confused by his girlfriend's silence.
y/n opened her eyes and coughed holding the phone between her ear and shoulder and she quickly grabbed the pill bottle, pouring her handful of the pills back into it and picking up the discarded ones, she fumbled to put the lid on, quickly standing from the floor and placing the bottle of pills at the back of the cupboard.
"uh yeah babe, i'm fine, i was just putting stuff away in my room, i'll come let you in," she replied.
"okay," vinnie grinned, before hanging up.
y/n took a deep breath, moving the phone away from her ear slowly. she wiped under her eyes with her fingers, removing any stray tears or mascara.
vinnie's timing was impeccable, he saved her life.
present time...
y/n had just finished her therapy session, she smiled as she walked out. it was real. she had finally spoke about her near suicide-attempt from four months ago.
around a month after the near attempt vinnie had found out about y/n's depression having found her prescription meds stuffed down the side of the couch. he was cleaning and knew y/n had a habit to lose cutlery down the side of the couch, and when he put his hand there he felt the pills.
this lead to y/n finally explaining everything to him, vinnie holding her close and drying her tears. but he still had no idea what she was about to do if he didn't turn up.
she smiled as she exited the room, vinnie who was seated in the waiting room looked up and spotted his gorgeous girlfriend. he stood up, shoving his phone in his pocket.
he immediately wrapped his arms around y/n, pressing a kiss to her head. she pulled away with a smile on her face.
"lets go to our spot," he smiled, before the pair walked out of the clinic hand-in-hand.
once the pair had made it to their spot which was a little bench in a park, that was on the pathway lined with trees. it was fairly private and peaceful, and had a beautiful lake in front.
once they took a seat at the bench, y/n lifted her legs onto it, turning to her boyfriend.
"so what was today's session about?", vinnie asked as he grabbed one of y/n's hands, toying with the rings on her fingers.
y/n took a deep breath.
"it was about letting go," she replied.
her therapist had advised her to tell vinnie about what had happened four months ago, saying that it was going to help lift a weight off her chest and help her let go of the past.
"and there's something i need to tell you," she breathed out.
vinnie's brows furrowed but he nodded along nonetheless.
"four months ago, i-i was in a dark place, a very dark place. i had no intentions or interest in living, i wanted to...i wanted to die," she explained, swallowing back her tears.
she noticed vinnie tense up slightly, holding her hand reassuringly.
"and i was close. i was so so close, i had the pills in my hand-i had twelve of them. i was- i was so ready," she exclaimed, feeling her eyes sting with tears.
"i felt so exhausted of going through the same thing every day that i was ready to kill myself. and just as i bought those pills to my lips my phone rang, and it was you," she cried quietly.
vinnie's face softened, feeling his eyes begin to burn slightly, him sniffling.
"you called me vinnie, you called me just as i brought those pills to my mouth, just as i was ready to end my life. you called, and you saved me. you unknowingly saved my life vinnie hacker," she sobbed.
vinnie felt a tear drip down his cheek, he couldn't believe it.
"and when i answered the call and heard you call me angel, it made me realise that i couldn't do it. i couldn't go through with it knowing that you were right outside my front door. so i put all of those twelve pills back inside that bottle and threw it into the cupboard," she explained, tears flowing down her cheeks.
"you saved me vinnie," y/n cried in almost a whisper. "you saved my life."
vinnie immediately wrapped his arms around y/n, clutching her sobbing form close to him. his chin rested atop of her head as some tears dripped down his cheeks.
"i love you y/n y/l/n. i'm so proud of you and i'm so happy you managed to hold on for me. i'm going to be with you every step of the way now, i'm going to hold your hand all the time okay? you're not getting rid of me, and i'm certainly not letting you leave me," vinnie spoke, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
"i love you," y/n whispered.
"i love you too angel," vinnie replied, pulling her closer. "just hold on for another day angel."
☺︎︎☻︎☹︎ 𝗞𝗬𝗥𝗔 𝗦𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗞𝗦 ☹︎☻︎☺︎︎
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