"We need Traise Stevens, our Jack of All Trades, Master of None..."
Walang nakakibo sa amin.
Casper was looking at the table.
Aubrielle was looking at Newt, observing him.
Andrius had no emotion on his face.
Newt cleared his throat.
"Among anyone else, s'ya itong makakatulong sa atin," Newt added, determination in his voice. "He has the face, the heart, and the brain. Nagagawa ng eagles ang perfect crime dahil sa utak ni Heinz. Pero kapag tinapatan sila ni Traise, magandang laban ito. Traise has a knowledge of law and an expert in medicine. He has everything someone like Heinz would fear."
I bit my lower lip.
Base sa sinabi ni Newt, mukhang magaling nga ito. Pero among Tyler, Avery, and Courtney na matagal ko nang hinahangaan mula nang nasa law school palang ako, si Traise itong hindi ko masyadong dama. Siguro kasi, napaka pribado n'yang tao. First time ko nga lang s'yang makita noong mapagkamalan n'ya akong nurse sa ospital.
"Sure ka ba riyan?" tanong ni Aubrielle. "I mean, we all know Traise Stevens hates publicity. This whole Death Chaser thing for him is a circus."
"Ms. Baxter, we got no choice."
"How about Avery?" I asked. "She deserves to know."
"Yes, she does," pakikisali ni Casper. "Pero hindi ngayon. I told you, she's recovering from her PTSD."
Newt looked at him, shocked.
"I told them, Mr. Dahmer," Casper said. "There was no other way."
He then looked at us.
"I can't let the fear of having Heinz alive drags Avery back to scratch. No, not this time. Kung sasabihin man natin, we have to make sure na buhay nga si Heinz. Hangga't hindi natin nakikita, I won't let you inform her. I can't risk her mental health."
That makes sense.
"How about Courtney Spencer?" Andrius asked. "I think she'd be a big help."
"Courtney is impulsive," sabi ni Newt. "Anytime, she may explode. Yes, hindi man ganoong katalinuhan si Courtney pero maparaan s'ya. Kapag nag focus s'ya sa isang bagay, kahit na ilan pa ang mag sanib pwersa ay walang makapipigil sa kanya, tulad noon. But just like what I said, Courtney is impulsive. This Death Chaser thing is a sensitive secret legion. We have to be careful. Courtney may be a problem instead of a help."
I nodded. Na-aalala ko nga noon n'ung nasa law school kami, may ipinanuod sa aming clip about Tyler Scott moving a strike against Courtney Spencer.
"With Avery..." simula ni Newt. "Casper is right. She's recovering. We can't risk her mental health again. I mean... look at me...I... I barely survive the day. Araw-araw akong natatakot, naiiyak, kinakabahan na kabigla nalang magpakita ang demonyong iyon..."
Tears started to form in Newt's eyes.
"Kaya...hangga't hindi kailangan, hindi natin s'ya sasabihan."
Newt met our eyes.
"See? Traise Stevens is our only card."
"But wouldn't it be unfair?" Andrius asked. "He lost his brother. Traise himself survived the death penalty once out of luck. Will this offer to join us, the death chasers, give him the same luck to survive death twice? Come on, the guy can't even get married."
"I agree," Casper said. "Siguro hindi papayag si Courtney knowing what happened to Tyler."
"Then what?" Aubrielle asked. "Should they just let the son of a bitch who killed Tyler Scott and a lot of women freely roam around?!"
Walang makapagsalita sa amin.
"It's...a battle of principle, I guess," Newt said and stood up. "Pag-iisipan ko itong mabuti. I'll let you guys know if we should recruit Traise or not. Ngayon, maghanda na kayo."
Newt then wore his glasses.
"There's a reason why we were named as death chasers," he said and looked in our eyes. "Because we chase death."
Newt gave us a small bitter smile bago buksan ang pinto at tuluyang umalis. Ilang segundo lamang ay naiwan na kaming apat sa loob at walang makapagsalita sa amin. Lahat ay takot sa posibleng mangyari.
Nagsitayuan na kami at sabay-sabay na lumabas ng kwarto nang hindi manlang nag-iimikan.
"Anyway," sabi ni Casper nang maisara na namin ang pinto. "May birthday party mamaya sa karaoke hub near the office. Required tayong lahat pumunta. Gusto n'yo ba magsabay-sabay na tayo?"
"I'll go alone," Andrius said. "May hearing ako."
"Okay, then," Casper said. "Kayo?"
"Mag re-review lang kami ng case," I said.
"Great to hear, then!" sabi ni Casper.
"I'll go ahead," Andrius said. I watched him as he walked away.
"Soooo, sabay-sabay tayo mamaya ha," sabi ni Casper. "Masaya 'to, trio tayo!"
He then grinned at inakbayan ako.
"The dumb."
Itinuro n'ya ang sarili n'ya.
"The dumber."
At inakbayan n'ya si Aubrielle.
"And the dumberist."
We laughed but Aubrielle was annoyed. Hinampas pa nga n'ya ang kamay ni Casper.
"'Wag mo 'kong hawakan!"
"Arte mo naman!" singhal ni Casper. "Ang lagkit lagkit naman ng balat mo!"
"EXCUSE ME?!" Aubrielle exclaimed. "Halos isang oras kayo ako naliligo!"
"'Di naman nagsasabon..." bulong ni Casper na ikinatawa ko.
"Alam mo ikaw, napaka epal mo sa buhay. Hindi ka ba mahal ng nanay mo? Ooops!" sabi ni Aubrielle at tinakpan ang sarili n'yang bibig. "Wala ka nga palang nanay."
Casper's eyes widened.
"ANG LAKAS MO HA?! EH PAREHO LANG NAMAN TAYONG AMPON?!"
"Oo pero hindi tayo pareho ng paraan ng pagpapalaki na kinagisnan. Tingnan mo, lumaki kang papansin."
Napangisi ako habang pinanunuod sila.
"Huh! Kapag mas nauna kong nahanap magulang ko, tatawanan kita!" ganti ni Casper.
"Huh ka rin! Kapag ako ang nauna, hindi lang kita tatawanan, hahalakhak pa 'ko. Magpapa family picture agad kami, ipapa tarpaulin ko, at isasabit ko sa gate ninyo! Tse!"
Inirapan s'ya ni Aubrielle bago tuluyang tumalikod at naglakad papalayo. Maya-maya'y humarap uli ito at ngumisi.
"CASPER!" sigaw nito na ikinatingin ng lahat. "Zipper mo bukas!"
Nagtawanan ang ilang empleyado kasama ako. Ngumisi si Aubrielle bago naglakad uli papalayo.
"Buwisit 'yang pinsan mo na 'yan," sabi ni Casper. "Hindi naman bukas zipper ko, buwisit talaga!"
"Nakahanap ka ng katapat mo, 'no?" nangingisi kong sabi.
Tiningnan n'ya lang ako nang masama at may iniabot sa 'kin. Nang tingnan ko'y nanlaki ang mga mata ko.
IT'S MY WALLET!
"Naiwan mo sa mesa ninyo," sabi ni Casper. "Dinala ni tito sa bahay kaso 'di na kita naabutan. Nag text ako kay Andrius na naiwan mo wallet mo at baka pwedeng pahiramin ka muna ng pamasahe kapag nagkasabay kayo sa jeep. Nagtanong kasi sa 'kin ng sakayan ng jeep kasi iyong kotse n'ya nasa repair shop. Nagkasabay ba kayo o nag 123 ka?"
My eyes grew bigger.
So that's why he knows?
Dali-dali s'yang hinanap ng mata ko at nakita ko s'yang nakapila sa elevator.
I smiled weakly.
So you have this side pala ha...
Ilang oras ang lumipas at nasa office lang kami. Maya't maya mura si Aubrielle habang binabasa ang police report habang ako napapa-iling nalang. Ganito kami hangga't wala kaming kaso. Ni re-review namin ang mga police report at tinitingnan kung may sapat bang ebidensya para mag file ng kaso o wala.
Nang mag lunch break at nakisalo kami sa mga ka-trabaho naming excited nang mga magsi-inom para mamaya.
Nang dumating si Aubrielle ay iritableng iritable nanaman ito.
"Is it just me who gets really annoyed kasi crowded ang cafeteria ngayon?" she asked us. "I mean??? WHY ARE THEY HERE??? WHO GAVE THEM THE RIGHTS???"
Nagtawanan ang mga kasama namin sa table.
"Ano ka ba Aubrielle, kaninang umaga ka pa iritable. Ano bang problema?"
"Ewan," she said. "Magkakaroon ata ako."
Napa-iling nalang ang mga gay naming kasama.
"Salmong tugunan?" tanong ng isa.
"Nawa'y lahat may regla."
At sa lamesa namin maririnig ang pinakamalalakas na tawa sa buong cafeteria. Ilang minuto lang ay tawa na nang tawa si Aubrielle. Mukha na ngang sea lion. Hangga't napunta ang usapin namin sa isang bansa na kasalukuyang kumakaharap sa pandemya. Imbis na i-postpone ang klase ay mas minabuti pa ng sektor ng edukasyon nito na ituloy ang klase sa pamamagitan online classes kahit maraming drop outs at maraming hindi afford ito.
"Ewan ko ba," sabi ng isa. "Ano bang mahirap intindihin sa hindi lahat may pare-parehong resources?"
"Meganon, education for all pero discriminated ang lower class?"
"True," sabi ni Aubrielle. "Why don't they give those students a break? I mean, what's so hard about break? Don't they understand it? Do they want me to demonstrate it on their neck?"
We laughed.
"Aanhin mo ang edukasyon kung iyong estudyante gusto nang mamatay," dagdag ko.
Napakarami rin naming nasagap na chismis. Pay day ngayon at nadako ang kuwentuhan kay Casper.
Ang sabi, kalahati lamang ng sweldo ni Casper ang napupunta sa kanya. Ang kalahati nama'y napupunta sa bahay-ampunan. Nang tawagan ko si Casper aftershift ay parang wala lang iyon sakanya.
"Bakit ba?" sabi n'ya nang natatawa pa. "Successful si ate. Secured and future ng mga pamangkin ko. Naibili na namin ng bahay sina mama at papa. Sa totoo lang, sarili ko nalang talaga ang dapat kong atupagin. I am getting a salary as part of Death Chasers and as a Public Defender. Ano ba naman iyong tumulong ako kahit kaunti?"
I scoffed.
"Kulang nalang maging santo ka na sa pinagsasabi mo eh," sagot ko. "Parang sa sobrang buti mo lalagpas ka pa sa langit."
He laughed.
"Hayaan mo na, 'wag mo nalang sabihin kay mama," sabi niya. "Napili ko iyong ampunan dahil kung hindi ako sinu-swerte ay malamang nandoon na rin ako. Suwerte ko nalang siguro at mabubuting tao kumupkop sa 'kin, pero paano naman silang hindi sinu-swerte? I have to return the favor."
Napangiti ako.
"Ako kinakabahan sa'yo ha," I said. "Mga ganyang dialogue parang tatakbong pulitiko 'yan, eh."
We laughed hard.
"Na withdraw ko na pala iyong sahod ko. Libre kita," I said.
"Naks, 'di kuripot ngayon, ah? Dati lang kahit piso ang hiram ko nangangatok ka pa sa bahay."
Natawa ako.
"Dali na bago pa magbago isip ko," I said. "Where do you wanna go?"
"Huh?"
"Saan mo gusto pumunta, sabi ko. Anywhere basta malapit. Iyong gustong gusto mong puntahan. Something you always wanna be at and you're comfortable with. Dali."
"Where are you?"
Kumunot ang noo ko.
"Huh?"
"You're asking where do I wanna go," he said. "So I am asking where are you."
Kumunot ang noo ko.
"Nasa 6th floor tabi ng ATM machine. Bakit dito mo gusto? Sabog ka ba?"
I heard him laughed so hard and uttered, 'tanga talaga ampotek'.
"Naririnig kita ha!" reklamo ko.
"Wait for me there," he said before hanging up. "Don't move even an inch. I'll come to you, like what I always do..."
Next thing I knew ay nasa tapat na kami ng kwek-kwekan.
"Bakit dito?" tanong ko. "Kaya ko naman manlibre kahit sandwich 'no!"
"Bakit ba?" he asked habang tumutusok. "Choice ko 'to."
"Well, ang pangit ng choice mo," sabi ko habang nagbibilang ng barya.
"Girl, bibili ka talaga n'yan? Sabi ng grandma ko marumi daw that neon balls."
Pareho kaming napatingin sa estudyanteng nagrereklamo.
"Tara na kasi, we can eat somewhere naman," pag-uudyok nito sa kasama.
"Kwek kwek nasa panlasa ko girl, samahan nalang kita bumili ng iyo somewhere," sabi ng kaibigan n'ya.
"Duh do you even know how much food coloring they put there para lang maging like that?"
Nagkatinginan kami ni Casper dahil sinabi n'ya talaga iyon sa harap mismo ng tindera.
Pamasdo dila nito, ah.
"Tsaka 'di ba, when you eat something with food color maiiwan 'yung color in your intestine. Girl, that's yuck!"
Ilang minutong nagtalo ang magkaibigan hanggang sa huli ay napilit s'ya nitong kumain. Sa unang subo n'ya ay gusto na agad n'ya itong iluwa. Nang malunok n'ya nang buo ay pulang pula ang mukha n'yang mestisa at nagreklamong sobrang init daw at pasong paso raw 'yung dila n'ya.
Umalis ang magkaibigan na habang ang isa ay tawa nang tawa, ang isa nama'y nag co-complain pa rin. Nang ako na ang tutusok ay kabigla akong inabisuhan ng tindera.
"Kung gusto mo ng 'di mainit, dito ka kumuha."
Natawa si Casper.
"Ikaw naman, manang. Ba't 'di mo naman po sinabi sa bata kanina, napaso tuloy."
Ngumisi lamang si ate.
"Bahala s'ya sa buhay n'ya. Ang arte arte n'ya. Anong ine-expect n'ya sa dos pesos na pagkain? Sana nga mamaga pa 'dila n'ya. 'Yun lang ang ganti ko."
Casper and I looked at each other but burst out laughing.
Y'all, this is the level of pettiness I aspire to be at!
Habang natatawa ay biglang sumulpot si Aubrielle at nagsimulang tumusok.
"Ang ingay ninyo, nabili n'yo na ba 'tong lugar?" tanong n'ya habang tumutusok.
"Neska, may naririnig ka?" pang-aasar ni Casper. "Parang may bubwit na bumubulong o ako lang?"
"Naririnig ko rin," sabi ko. "Parang iyong tunog, galing sa kanal?"
Pareho kaming tinitigan ni Aubrielle nang masama at pareho rin kaming natawa.
"Anyway, hindi ako sasabay sa inyo," sabi n'ya.
"Bakit?" tanong ko.
"I'll go with Andrius."
My eyes widened.
"He said he may be an hour late dahil may trial pa s'ya."
"Yes," Aubrielle said. "I'll wait for him."
The smile on my face literally faded.
"Did he... let you?" I asked.
"Of course," Aubrielle said and smiled at me. "He likes being with me than being with you. That's our difference."
I opened my mouth but nothing was coming out. Sa totoo lang, para akong nabuhusan ng malamig na tubig.
"Quit," Aubrielle said and smirked. "If you can't put up a good fight, don't waste our time. Andrius deserves better. And that better is me."
I bit my lower lip.
I wanna say something but I can't think of anything. All I know is Aubrielle's not lying.
"I'm only being good at you because we are cousins," she said. "But that doesn't change the fact that I'm miles ahead of you. Do yourself a favor, Neska. Stop putting your hopes high. The higher you set it, the deeper you'd fall. Andrius won't even there to catch you because he's busy holding my hand."
She looked in my eyes and handed me her stick.
"Pakisawsaw," she said.
I didn't dodge her eyes.
Until I finally get it at isinawsaw sa sawsawan malapit sa 'kin and handed it back to her.
"Thanks," she said. "See you at the party, then."
She then looked at Casper.
"Your hair is as messy as your life. Fix that, you stinky old rag."
Just then, she walked away.
"Fighting fighting pang nalalaman, 'pag sinuntok mo 'yan lubog mukha n'yan," bulong ni Casper.
Nang mawala si Aubrielle ay napangisi ako.
"Bakit?" tanong ni Casper. "Shouldn't you be mad or something?"
I grinned more widely nang ipakita ko kung saan ko isinawsaw ang kwek kwek n'ya.
SA HUGASAN NG KAMAY AT SANDOK.
Casper and I started laughing like a dying sea lion.
"HAHAHAHA BWISIT KA," Casper said in between his laughs. "KAYA PALA NG TAHIMIK MO HAHAHAHA!"
"HAHAHAHAHA," pagtawa ko. "NATATAKOT NGA AKO MAGSALITA KASI NAGPIPIGIL NA AKO NG TAWA HAHAHAHAHA!"
We stayed that way until something caught my attention. Habang hinahabol ni Casper ang hininga n'ya ay tinitigan kong muli ang nakita ko mula sa malayo.
Someone was standing nearby and he was looking at our direction.
Lalaki ito at may katangkaran. He was wearing a black jogger pants and a white shirt. Nakasuot din ito ng jacket na kulay itim at natatakpan ng mukha ang hoodie pero pansin ang bilog nitong salamin. Malayo ma'y kita mo pa rin ang kaputian nito. Nang magtama ang paningin namin ay agad itong naglakad papalayo. Akmang susundan ko nang pigilin ako ni Casper.
"Huy, saan ka pupunta?" tanong nito at tiningnan ang tindera. "Teh, oh, tatakas oh, ayaw magbayad."
When I looked at the guy's direction, wala na ito roon.
I think... I think I saw him somewhere and I couldn't just remember it.
Tall.
White.
Round eyeglasses.
Hoodie.
I saw him somewhere and I knew it...
Until suddenly, the image of what we saw in Newt's CCTV flashed on my mind.
My eyes widened.
SHIT.
I felt my heart racing inside and anxiety started to rise inside me. Casper felt the tension too and looked at what I was looking.
"Bakit?" tanong niya. "Did you see anything?"
I looked at him, he was worried.
I felt my roots were about to disown me.
"Nothing," I said and gulped while sweats out of fear were all over my face. "Nothing at all."
But I know who I saw.
He's here.
Really, sneaking into our lives.
Listening.
Always watching.
Waiting for the perfect moment to attack...
Nang mga sumunod na oras ay hindi ako mapakali at napansin iyon ng mga ka trabaho ko. Sa katunayan, ilang oras na kaming naritito sa karaoke hub at nagkakasiyahan. Noong una, nasa gilid lang ako.
Ang sabi ko, pagod lang ako pero ang totoo, grabeng chest pain na ang nararamdaman ko at gusto ko nang maiyak sa takot. I know it was him. I know he knew that I knew it was him and that's no good.
Paano kung bigla nalang n'yang saktan ang sino man sa pamilya ko? Knowing how psychotic he is, he could even do it tonight and with his intellect, it'd look like a suicide.
Hindi ko naman masabi kina Newt, Aubrielle, Casper, at Andrius dahil lahat sila ay nagsasaya. Ayaw kong sirain itong magandang gabi nila.
Ilang minuto lang ay tinamaan na ako ng alak at nawala kabigla ang nasa isip ko at nakisaya na rin.
Who cares about Heinz?
Mamamatay din naman tayong lahat. Bahala s'ya riyan.
"Ano ba!" reklamo ni Aubrielle kay Casper. "Sunud-sunod mga kanta mo. Swapang ka?"
"Sa hilera kasi naman 'yan," depensa ni Casper. "Alam mo, napaka epal mo. Noong nabuo si Eba at Adan, ikaw iyong ahas!"
"Ah, talaga!" sagot ni Aubrielle habang mayroong kumakanta ng My Way. "King ako ang ahas, ikaw iyong bulok na mansanas!"
"Eh 'di, kakagatin mo 'ko?"
Aubrielle was caught off guard.
"RAAAAAWR!" sigaw ng mga lalaki at nagtawanan.
"Guys, 20 minutes nalang daw," sabi ng isa naming ka trabaho. Ganito nalang, let's settle our bills by groups. Team A mga nasa left at Team B nasa right. Pili kayo ng representative na kakanta. Ang may mababa na score, team nila ang magbabayad. G?"
"G NA YAN!" sigaw ng iba.
Kung mamalasin, naging kakampi ko pa si Casper at sa kabila ay sina Aubrielle at Andrius. Napili si Andrius na kakanta sa kabila at sa amin si Casper. Lumipat ang kabilang team sa amin para mabigyan sina Casper ng space at ngayo'y katabi ko na si Aubrielle.
"Let's start with...uhmm... Alright, Andrius!"
Pinagbabatukan ako ng nasa team ko nang mag cheer ako sa kalaban.
Nakatayo na si Andrius at nakapili na ng kanta. Nakaputi itong polo na ang kaliwang side ay naka tucked in habang ang kanan ay nakalaylay. Nakabukas na rin ang ilang butones ito at kita ang pamumula ng dibdib, leeg, tainga, at pisngi. Tinamaan na rin ng alak.
I knew Andrius since college and this is the first time I'd hear his singing voice.
Nagsimula ang instrumental at nagtilian kami.
He smiled shyly before putting the mic near his mouth.
My eyes widened.
DAMN THAT DEEP VOICE!
Literal na nakihalo ako sa tili.
I smiled genuinely, looking at him holding the mic adorably.
He then looked at my direction and our eyes met.
I felt my heart just melted.
I gulped. I was about to smile once again when I noticed Aubrielle was wearing a white one and sitting just beside me.
My smile faded.
He then smiled and I heard screams.
Was he.. looking at Aubrielle or at me?
I then remembered how Andrius smiled at her at the party.
How Andrius took her home.
And how Andrius accompanied her tonight.
I felt pain building up inside me.
So it's her.
Really been her.
Who have long melted his heart of stone...
The whole song started to feel awkward. God knew how grateful I was nang matapos ito dahil halos maiyak na ako.
Andrius scored 99.
Claps.
I can't even move my hands.
Tumayo na si Casper at pumili ng kanta.
"Gisingggggg!" sigaw ni Casper sa mic. "BUCKLE UP, YOU'LL SEE REAL TALENT TONIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, HERE WE GO! WHOOO!!!"
Biglang nagkagulo ang lahat. Napangiti ako papaano.
Nagtilian muli ng lahat nang magsimula ang intro. When our eyes met, he smiled and later winked. I laughed.
I can recognize the song. It's Bestfriend by Jason Chen.
Napangiti ako nang marinig kong muli ang boses ni Casper. High school pa yata simula nang huli ko s'yang narinig kumanta. Lagi siyang laman ng school programs noon kaya nahasa na rin.
Nagtayuan kaming lahat at nakisabay sa kanta.
He then looked out me and our eyes met.
"But I fell in love with my best friend..."
I smiled at him, cheering him up.
He once again looked at my direction and smiled weakly.
"Awwwww!" reaksyon ng ilan at nagtawanan kami.
Nakisabay nanaman kami uli sa pagkanta.
Huminto ang lahat at si Casper nalang ang kumakanta.
Everyone went silent and Casper's eyes were fixated at nothing but my eyes.
He smiled weakly, his face seemed sad.
Nagsitilian ang lahat at nakikanta maliban kay Casper na tumigil at nakatingin nalang sa akin.
I smiled at him, and he smiled back at me.
Nagsitayuan kami. Casper scored 99 as well. Nangolekta nalang ng bayad at hinihintay ko matapos ang lahat nang laking gulat ko nang lumapit si Andrius sa amin at huminto sa tapat ni Aubrielle.
I felt my heart just cracked.
"Let's talk," I heard him say. Aubrielle was about to say something but Andrius halted him.
"That's not a favor but a command," he uttered before walking away.
Just then, Aubrielle followed him.
Anong pag-uusapan nila?
Pareho silang lasing.
Wait.
No, no, no...
May mangyayari ba?
Confession?
Or worse, will they kiss?
Damn it. I can't let that happen.
Dali-dali ko silang sinundan. Narinig kong tinawag ako ni Casper pero hindi ko na s'ya nilingon. I can't afford to lose time. I can't be one step or one second late.
Pagkalabas ay dali ko silang hinanap at isang sigaw ang maririnig. Nang silipin ko sa pasilyo ay nakita ko sila. They seemed arguing. Andrius was poker faced, Aubrielle was mad.
"It... It doesn't make sense," Andrius said. "How could it be like that?"
"I have no idea, Andrius. You ask yourself why."
"Why me?" he asked.
"Because it's your goddamn heart, not mine!" Aubrielle exclaimed.
Kumunot ang noo ko.
Anong pinag-uusapan nila?
"I don't know, okay?" Andrius said. "If I knew... why do you think I'd be confused?"
"That's the question, Andrius. Why are you confused?"
Inilapit kong muli ang sarili ko para mas marinig pa sila.
However, Andrius wasn't answering.
"Let's make things go this way," Aubrielle said. "You've changed, Blake. Who made you turn this way? Who broke your heart of stone?"
Andrius wasn't answering. He was just looking at her.
"Do you like her?" Aubrielle asked. "Do you, perhaps, like Neska?"
My eyes widened.
Oh, shit.
Should I stay?
Should I run away?
I don't wanna hear it peto curious din ako.
Should I just---
"No."
My eyes grew more bigger as I felt like the sky just landed on me.
"I never did," he coldly said. "I never will."
I felt my heart just skipped a beat. Tears started to form in my eyes.
He never did, and never will...
My legs were about to disown me. I wanna run but I just can't move as if I got frozen.
Ang sakit.
Sobrang sakit.
"You should've listened to me," a voice said.
As I looked, it was Casper.
"Casper..." I said and just then, my sight became blurry and tears just fell.
"Neska?" Aubrielle asked, she seemed shocked. "K-Kanina ka pa riyan?"
Casper blocked me so they won't see my tears.
"Enough for her to hear the important things," Casper said, bitterness in his voice.
He then looked at Andrius.
"If you don't like her, don't give her hope. You are snatching away someone else's blessing, dickhead."
Walang anu-ano'y hinila na ako paalis ni Casper. Sa bawat hakbang ay parami nang parami ang luhang tumutulo sa mga mata ko. At pabilis din nang pabilis ang mga hakbang namin. Maka-ilang beses akong nagpumiglas pero balewala iyon kay Casper. Hanggang sa buong lakas kong hinila pabalik ang kamay ko.
"ANO BA!" I exclaimed. We stopped, he looked back.
"Look at you," he said, his face concerned. "Look at how miserable you are! If love is this destructive for you then please, for fxcking sake Neska, don't you ever have it."
"Ano bang alam mo?" tanong ko habang umiiyak. "How can I just let go of a decade-long love?"
He didn't answer.
I broke down.
"Bakit ba kasi hindi ako kasing talino ni Aubrielle?" tanong ko at humagulgol. "Bakit ba kasi hindi n'ya 'ko kasing ganda? Bakit ba ang ganda ng buhok n'ya, akin hindi? Bakit ang ganda ng kutis n'ya habang akin hindi? Bakit napakaraming nagmamahal sa kanya, at sa akin kung hindi pa 'ko magiging katatawanan ay wala pang gugustuhin ako?"
"Neska..."
"Bakit ba ako nabuhay bilang ako?" tanong ko. "Si papa, paborito si Aubrielle. Si lolo rin, pati iyong pinsan ko. Iyong mga katrabaho natin, hinahangaan s'ya. Iyong mga kaklase namin noon, mas gusto s'ya. Ngayon... ngayon pati si Andrius. Bakit ba napakahirap ng buhay sa 'kin? Bakit napakadali nang lahat kay Aubrielle?"
"Neska... don't say that..."
"Alam mo bang tumanggap pa ako ng tutor classes sa college para lang may pang dagdag sa expenses ko sa school kahit ang tanga tanga ko? Alam mo bang halos dalawang oras lang ang tulog ko sa lawschool dahil pinagsasabay ko ang pag-aaral at katakot-takot na part time jobs para mabayatan ang loans ko? Habang si Aubrielle...she got a scholarship she doesn't need dahil kaya naman n'ya magbayad. Her daily struggle was her studies while my daily struggle was how to survive without breaking down dahil ayaw kong mag-alala si papa...bakit napakahirap ng buhay sa 'kin, Casper? Ano bang kasalanan ko sa mundo? Gusto ko lang sumaya..."
Tears were forming in Casper's eyes.
"I never wanted anything but Andrius' attention. Ni hindi ko nga pinangarap na magugustuhan n'ya ko. Pero bakit gan'un? Tanggap ko naman peto bakit ang sakit? At bakit salahat ng tao si Aubrielle pa? Bakit pinsan ko pa?" my voice cracked.
Tears fell from Casper's eyes. He pulled me close to him and put my head on his chest. I cried harder than I ever did.
"Cry," Casper uttered. "You have me, I won't go anywhere."
That made me cry harder.
"Don't ever think that no one wants you," he whispered. "You may not be aware, but there is. You're just... way too distracted to what's in front of you that you literally didn't notice who's always been behind you and have always been there, guiding and protecting you."
I heard him gulped.
"You will never know how bad you've been treated until someone comes and values you the way you should be. Until then, don't close your heart. Let it be available for someone who used to question if love is worth fighting for but when he looks in your eyes, he's suddenly ready for a full blast war."
I stood up straight when I heard his heart was beating faster than usual.
Our eyes met.
"Let your heart be available for someone who sees not just a single star but the entire galaxy in your eyes."
He smiled weakly.
"Let it be available for me..."