Faith
It's been several hours since Joy left the cave. The night is already upon us and he has not returned yet. I can't help but feel antsy because he is out there tormenting himself with guilt because of me. I hate myself for making him feel this way. How could I be so cruel, so evil, making him suffer for something he hasn't even done?
I am so sorry Joy.
I just can't forget the way Joy looked at me, when I pushed him away. His face looked so pale, and so pained. I just can't get that heart-wrenching expression out of my mind. And, the fact that he felt this awful because of how stupid and selfish I am, makes me want to slap myself way harder than I slapped him.
I shouldn't have acted so irrationally. I guess I just freaked out and let my stupid instincts shut my feelings off again. Why am I like this?
Joy is always so gentle and kind and caring with me, and all I always do is make him second guess himself or hate himself. I don't even know what good deeds I did to deserve meeting someone like him. It is so confusing, this emotion that I feel for him. I really don't know if I am just attached to him or I am more fucked up than that. He just has this effect on me that makes me want to forget all my insecurities and pain, and let him handle my wrecked heart with his gentle care.
But it's unfair to him. He shouldn't have to deal with this wreckage of my heart. He deserves trust and I unintentionally fail to give it to him every single time. But most importantly, he deserves someone who embraces him wholeheartedly, not someone who pushes him away or slaps him for damages he isn't even aware of.
I know it was a reflex action and I didn't mean to hit him. But I did and God knows how much I regret it with every ounce of blood flowing through me.
But, whatever my reasons may be, he shouldn't have to suffer because of me. It shatters my heart to see him like this. He should know I never meant to slap him, or blame him, he didn't do anything wrong. I am the wrong one here, and I should be the one suffering.
I have to call him inside now and declare a night of truce. He can't stay outside forever. I'll just apologize to him and ensure he relaxes for now. I'll see how to deal with the bigger picture later. I just hope he keeps some distance from me though, I don't deserve his care and concern, especially after putting him through this.
Finally after making up my mind to ease the situation, I get up and walk towards the cave opening. My ankle still hurts on walking, but it's somehow bearable.
Once I step outside the cave, I turn in the direction where Joy was sitting earlier. But, he isn't there now. I look towards the surrounding rocks, I look in the direction of beach, I look in the opposite direction, towards the rocky stretch, but he's nowhere. Where the hell did he go?
Did he just leave me alone here?
I shiver at the thought. Did I drive him too far away? Does he hate me now? Yeah, he definitely hates me for doing this to him. I deserve it.
Why can't I just live like a normal person for once in my life?
I move towards a rock nearby and sit on it. My eyes still continue to look around the island for Joy. Where could he possibly go? Should I go around and look for him? Is that even safe?
I sigh and turn around towards the ocean and that's when my eyes fall on him. He is standing neck deep inside the ocean, directly in front of the rock he was sitting on earlier, but facing the other side.
What's he doing in the water at this time of the night?
He isn't even cleaning up or taking a dip or anything. He is just standing there and staring into vast nothingness. What's wrong with him? And how long has he been standing in there?
I start walking towards the rock that he was sitting on earlier, which is at some distance from where I am standing outside the cave.
But before I reach there, my stupid ankle twists again and I stumble down, falling over a large rock. The impact makes my head spin when I try picking myself up again, earning my scarf dress a tear from the friction between my knees and the rock.
Wow, how much more unlucky can I possibly be?
I should probably just go back in and change into the other dress before calling Joy back and making the whole changing thing awkward again. I'll sew this tear up later tomorrow.
I reach the cave to look for my red dress. As I pick it up, I notice it is still slightly damp from earlier. So, that's why Joy didn't change me into this one.
I quickly change into it.
As I finally step outside again, I notice a strange commotion from the direction of the ocean. Then, I hear a loud, heart-wrenching scream. Joy's scream.
Ohh God, what the hell happened?
"Joy...", I call out for him and his head turns around in my direction immediately. I notice him moving frantically, trying to balance himself. It looks like he is trying to come out of the water, but he's stuck in there. What the hell is happening?
I run towards the direction of the rock he was sitting on, ignoring the fresh pain that the recent twist has brought back to my ankle.
Something isn't right and I need to know what is happening.
"No... Arghhhhh!!!! No Faith, don't come here!", he screams as I begin stepping into the water from the edge of the rock across him.
"What? Why Joy? Is everything okay? Why did you scream?," I ask him as I continue moving towards his direction through the waves.
"Just listen to me for once, Faith. For one last time... Just go away," he says angrily.
What does he mean one last time?
"Either you tell me what's wrong, or I am coming over there," I tell him, as I continue inching closer towards him.
"Aaarghhhhhh!!!", he screams again in pain.
What the fuck?
"There's something in the water, it... my leg.. my leg hurts, Faith. Just don't come here baby," he says pleadingly.
My whole world spins around me repeatedly as I process the information.
Something bit his leg? Oh my God?! There's something in there that could eat him alive?
Shit.
Ohh dear God, what do I do?
"Wait, I am coming Joy, I'll get you out of there," I say as I continue moving towards him faster.
"You are as much capable of saving me as I am capable of saving you."
Joy's heartwarming words playback in my head, giving me the much needed inspiration to save him at all costs.
"Are you even listening to me Faith? I said stay away from here. It could attack you instead," he says angrily, trying to yank himself away from whatever is holding him so tightly.
He really thinks I will leave him here to die alone in pain? And I'll save myself instead?
"Are you kidding me Joy? And stop moving so much, else it will continue hurting you more. Stop resisting and stay still. I am coming for you," I tell him.
"Just stop right there or I will go inside the water completely and let this creature make food out of me," he says in a warning tone.
I stop immediately in my tracks. Has he lost his mind?
I need to do something quickly.
"How big is it?", I ask him, inching slowly towards him, while trying to think of a plan to help him. I need to put my skills to good use for once.
Nothing will happen to you, Joy. Nothing. Just hang in there.
"It's size doesn't matter Faith, it won't leave me. I-I tried yanking myself away from it twice already and it just bit me harder. So, just stay away Faith and keep yourself safe... for my sake," he says, his voice still laced with concern for me, despite how much pain he is in.
"Just shut up Joy and listen to me, I will get you out of here. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise. Just help me, can you? Tell me how big is it, and what it could be? A shark? A crocodile? Some other fish? Or maybe an octopus? Just try to feel it and tell me what it can be," I ask him.
He looks at me like I spoke some alien language. Then, he shakes his head. Before he begins to say anything, I cut him off.
"Just answer the damn question, Joy. Now's not a good time for arguments. If you think I am going to leave you alone here, you really know nothing at all about me"
He just stares at me blankly instead of saying anything, but his expressions clearly show how much pain he is in, both physically and emotionally.
Oh how I could give anything in the world to take this pain away from him!
How will I fucking live if anything happens to him? No no, nothing will happen to him.
Fuck the plans, fuck the principles, fuck the fear of future and fuck the pain of past. I deserve to be happy for once, happy with my Joy, and I will not let destiny take him away from me now. I swear I will fix everything. Please God, help me. Give me strength to keep Joy safe.
Joy still continues to look at me angrily and doesn't say anything. I need to convince him fast.
"Would you have left me here in pain Joy? Would you have left me to die if it was me in your place and you had the chance to save me?," I try to reason with him.
I notice his expression changing from anger to agony.
"I know you would never leave me in pain Joy. And, I would never leave you. We're together in this. Now let me help you Joy, we really don't have time to argue," I try to convince him.
"I-I don't want you to be in danger because of me, Faith," he says, his voice on the edge of breaking down.
"I don't want you to be in danger either Joy, but you are, and it's all because of me," I tell him, as a stray tear rolls down from my eyes. I just can't see him like this.
"That's not true... it's not... "
"Not now Joy, I promise we'll have this conversation later. Right now, I am coming to help you. If you won't answer my question, I will come over unprepared. If you do, I may think of something," I tell him and cautiously take another step towards him. I hope he doesn't do anything stupid.
"It's.. it's not very big, just medium sized and it has really sharp teeth. And it has a long and heavy tail, so my guess is a crocodile," he says finally.
Okay, so I don't know much about crocodiles, but I need a plan. If I go nearby Joy, it may use its huge tail to attack me since it's sharp teeth are already biting Joy's legs right now. I internally shiver at the latter thought.
I will probably have to distract it first, so Joy can move out of its hold. Then, I have to find and attack its weakness so that it leaves us both alone. I definitely won't be able to kill it, so I have to weaken it's strengths and attack it's vulnerabilities.
"Joy, where did you put my handbag when you brought me back? I will need my scissor or swiss knife," I ask him as I quickly turn around and start making my way back towards the cave.
I hear his voice coming from behind me, "I don't remember seeing it Faith. It's probably somewhere on the hilltop or the slope where you fell."
Shit.
What other weapon do I use now? Fire won't work, considering how the crocodile is inside the water. But, maybe something else will.
I reach the rocks and run towards the cave. My ankle continues to bother me, but it cannot slow me down now. I have to save Joy, at all costs.
This pain is nothing compared to what Joy must be feeling.
In less than two minutes, I am back at the rock in front of Joy with two long and sharp piece of wood in each hand. Fire can't help, but firewood can.
So, here's the plan. First, distract it by poking at its tail. When it turns around, attack both it's eyes together and weaken it. Assuming it won't be able to see because of the darkness and the eye injury, throw away the pieces of wood in distance so it chases the noise and leaves this area. Then, use the opportunity and get Joy out of here.
"Which side?" I ask Joy.
"Towards my left foot," he says, and immediately adds, "Just don't put yourself in any danger Faith, if anything goes wrong, save yourself first."
"Nothing can go wrong baby, I won't let anything go wrong," I assure him.
"But if something does... promise me you will save yourself," he pleads.
I fake a chuckle at him.
"If anything goes wrong Joy, I promise you, not one, but both of us will be dead for good. But I know nothing will go wrong, because I am not done with you yet. Just trust me once, can you?," I say and he looks at my face, totally shell shocked.
I take a deep breath and push myself under the water without waiting for his reply.
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Joy
"Nothing can go wrong baby, I won't let anything go wrong," she reassures me.
Did she just call me baby? Am I hallucinating?
Is this some effect of this crocodile's bite? Is it poisonous or something?
I try to convince Faith to stay away from here and leave me at this creature's mercy. It will probably be tired of me soon and decide it doesn't want me like everybody else seems to do.
But, she isn't ready to listen. She says she won't let anything happen to me. As sweet as that sounds to my ears after everything else she said to me today, I can't let her put her life at stake for me. I constantly try to convince her, to talk her out of her stupid suicide mission of saving me, but she is so stubborn.
She just took two pieces of wood in each hand and disappeared below the water in front of my eyes. Now, everything else appears like a blur. And, she was saying strange things before she vanished under the water, what does she mean she's not done with me yet?
My whole left leg feels like it is crushed from the force this creature is exerting on me with its teeth repeatedly. And, most of my body was already numb from standing in this icy cold water for so many hours, so I am not even sure if I am feeling the real extent of pain that I would have felt if I wasn't numb.
All I wanted to do was to numb out the pain in my heart when I made the stupid decision of coming and standing here. But instead, now both my heart and my body hurts, especially my leg. I just hope my stupidity doesn't land Faith in trouble too.
Please be safe, Faith.
I hear some commotion from the water below me, and I feel the grip of teeth on my leg loosen. After a few seconds, the teeth leave me completely.
How the fuck did she do that?!
I hope she isn't in any danger herself.
I feel a soft hand against my leg and I instantly grab it and pull her out. I sigh with relief instantly when I see her face.
"It's gone, but we don't have time, it can come back," she says panting hard and tugging at my hand, trying to pull me towards the shore.
I just stand there dumbfounded, feeling so proud of my girl. She's so brave. She saved me, and she saved herself too. I feel an instant urge to lift her in my arms and plant a deep, hungry kiss on her delicious lips.
No Joy, she doesn't want you remember? Stop it!
"What? Just move your butt out of here Joy, we don't have time," she says as she drags me out with her.
My leg hurts with every step I take, but I can't afford to slow us down. We need to be inside the cave before I can even think of resting my leg. For her sake, if not mine. I drag my leg behind me as I limp forward through the waves, putting most of my weight on my good leg and holding her hand for keeping balance.
Once we are out of water, she puts my arm over her neck and wraps her hand around my back, finally resting it on my waist. Then, she looks up at me.
"Just hang in there baby, I know it's hurting really bad, but we'll reach the cave in two minutes. Please don't put pressure on that leg, just lean on me instead, okay?," she asks me sweetly.
What's with the sudden change in her behaviour?
I nod back at her as we start crawling slowly towards the cave. Even a slight movement makes the pain ten times worse. My vision keeps going blurry and my head keeps spinning.
I look back to see the waves going about their business normally, showing no evidence of the lethal encounter I had a few minutes ago. But the rocks behind me show a trail of blood drops dripping from my leg.
I look back forward, and my attention returns to Faith. I notice how she winces after every few steps we take and I know it's her ankle that is hurting her. But she acts like she's all okay so I don't say anything. Anyway I can't do anything to help ease her pain right now, when I am in pain myself. She's so good at hiding her pain though, I wonder how much more of it she hides in her beautiful heart.
As soon as we enter inside the cave she gently helps me sit down and sits next to me. Her hand immediately reaches my face as she rubs her thumb on my jaw gently. It sends soothing shivers down my spine.
What's she doing?
She immediately turns her attention to my leg and rubs her fingers gently over my torn and blooded skin.
"I can't see clearly, I'll light the fire and prepare the medicine for you. Just stay here okay, and remove your clothes or you'll catch a cold," she says and moves towards the firewood.
In a few minutes, a fire is lit up and a dry t-shirt and jeans is tossed towards me. I notice her wiping off her eyes with the back of her hand as she grabs her scarf dress and dashes out of the cave. My heart hurts at the sight of her tears.
Why the hell is she crying?
Before I can ask her anything, I feel a sharp pain in my leg again and a scream escapes from my lips. Soon, everything goes blurry and darkness takes over me.
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