Elle's POV
When Noah and I started dating in high school, I never thought we would last forever. For the longest time, I didn't feel like I was good enough for him and thought for sure he would go off to Harvard and find the woman of his dreams or maybe decide he wanted to start hooking up with all the hot girls there like he did in high school. The point is, I never had the confidence in us to believe that we could last. That caused some of our early problems that first year when we tried a long-distance relationship and he was in Boston and I was in LA. After a bumpy start, we survived the first year and had an amazing summer together after I graduated. I think it helped once we knew the distance was only temporary. Once I made the decision to go to Boston College, we knew that we would only be apart for a handful of months.
We had an amazing year together my first year in Boston. Yes, it was hard to be so far away from my family and deal with all the changes from my first year of college, but I had my boyfriend and my best friend so close that we could hang out almost whenever we wanted to. Lee had surprised everyone when he decided to go to Boston College with me. Once Rachel was accepted at Brown and I had made my decision, Lee decided to re-think staying on the West Coast. We both planned to major in Business and Marketing, and we were so excited to take Boston by storm together. Lee and Noah even seemed to get along better in Boston than they had in LA and the three of us spent a lot of time together. After that perfect year with all of us together, I started to believe that Noah and I may actually have a relationship that could last.
But, when we were back in LA for Spring break, my dad sat me down for a talk.
"Elle, honey, I have some news for you."
"Sounds serious Dad, everything okay?" He had me a little worried with the serious expression on his face.
"It's good news. I've been promoted at work."
"That's awesome, Dad!" I gave him a hug, I knew he had been trying to get to this next level at work for a while now.
"It is, there's one catch, though. They need me to move to the Chicago office. I know how attached you and Brad are to LA and our house here, but I feel like I have to take this promotion, since it's been offered, or I don't think I'll get another chance here in LA. It may end up being a temporary move and I could come back to LA in another year or two. Brad and I are going to be moving to Chicago in a couple weeks so he can finish out the school year there."
"Wow, so fast! What about our house?"
"The company is going to help me get everything packed up, we'll put a lot of stuff in storage and I'm going to rent the house out."
To say I was shocked was an understatement, but I was supportive of my dad and I knew I would be able to visit him and Brad, just as easily in Chicago as LA. I thought we would still plan on spending our holidays and some vacations with the Flynns, like we had been doing all my life and I didn't expect this move to change much for me.
I didn't talk to my Dad often once he moved to Chicago, I mostly talked to Brad. Dad was working all the time and Brad would call me when he was lonely. He had started school there with just a few months left in the year and he hated it. He missed his friends and the Flynns terribly and he hadn't made any close new friends. By the end of the school year, he was starting to get in trouble at school. I spent my summer break in Chicago, knowing that Brad needed some extra support and because I had missed my family while I was in Boston. Noah had gone to LA, but it didn't seem like a big deal to spend a couple months apart before we would be back in Boston together for another school year.
But I realized things were a lot worse than I thought once I was living there. I didn't know it at the time, but my Dad and Matthew had gotten into a business investment together before Dad moved to Chicago. There had been issues and it was starting to tank shortly after Dad moved. By the summer, things were going downhill quickly. Dad was compensating by working more and when he was home, he was drinking more than I had seen him drink before. I had never seen my Dad do more than drink socially, a couple glasses of wine with a meal or a few beers while watching a game on tv. Now, when he was home, he was in his office drinking the hard stuff by himself.
I decided that I needed to do more than stay in Chicago for the summer and immediately started to figure out if I could transfer to a college in Chicago for the fall semester. My plan was by spending a few months with them, I would be able to help with the downward spiral my family seemed to be going through and get back to Boston by the next semester. I talked to my Dad and he admitted the stress he was under with the new job, the move to a new city, and the bad investment. He was embarrassed by the drinking, but he didn't really think it was a big problem, and he thought he could turn things around without me transferring. But I needed to see things get better for myself, so I made my decision. My Dad only asked that I not tell anyone about his drinking, even Noah and Lee. His relationship with the Flynns had been strained because of their joint investment and he didn't want them to hear about his issues.
I dreaded discussing my move to Chicago with Noah almost as much as I was worried to tell Lee. I had always told Lee everything, how was I supposed to explain to him why I wanted to move without talking about my Dad's drinking. I knew he would be upset with me, since he had picked a school in Boston mostly for me. We had always planned to go to school together, to a school in California. During our senior year I started talking about schools in Boston and Lee understood that I wanted to be closer to Noah and he wanted me to be happy, so he started looking at Boston schools too.
Noah was planning a visit for a week in the middle of the summer. I called Lee the day before Noah was supposed to come to tell him my news. I didn't want to make him hide it from Noah for long. I could tell from his voice that he wasn't happy about my plan, but he tried to support me, he knew I wouldn't do something like this on a whim unless there was a valid reason. We planned to visit each other during the semester, and he was looking forward to me heading back to Boston for the next semester.
Noah came the next day and I was so happy to see him again. We didn't spend much time sightseeing, I had been so busy dealing with my family issues, I hadn't had a chance to get out myself, so I didn't know the city well enough to show him around. We spent a lot of time in each other's arms trying to make up for lost time. Brad was beyond happy to have Noah there and he was in a better mood than I had seen him the whole summer. I made sure we avoided my Dad in the evenings, so he could keep his secret. We had only been apart a month, but since we had gotten used to being able to see each other all the time in Boston, the summer had been hard on both of us.
I tried to explain to Noah the bad time that Brad was having getting adjusted and the long hours my Dad was having to work, without going into my Dad's drinking problem. I could tell Noah was confused about why this was such a big deal that I needed to stay in Chicago for another four months. Especially after already spending the summer months there, but he could tell I had my mind made up so didn't try to talk me out of it. We talked about how easy it would be for us. We had already done a whole school year of long-distance, one semester would be no problem.
But that wasn't the case. I was trying to get used to a new college, trying to meet friends, and trying to spend as much time with Dad and Brad to help them with both of their issues and that didn't leave much time for Noah. Without being able to see each other and not having the time to connect, I started to lose confidence in our relationship again. I had been to enough parties with Noah to know how many drunk girls threw themselves at the hot guys like him. It had been bad enough when we went to the parties together last year, I started to get nervous about what would happen during a whole semester there without me. I thought I trusted him, but my lack of confidence in us came up again and I spent way too much time worrying that Noah was going to find someone else.
We started to fight. A lot. About stupid stuff. We both missed each other so much and started to get frustrated about the situation. I think that Noah was mad at me for transferring, which made me mad at him for not understanding what I was dealing with. He tried to plan a weekend visit, I knew he thought it would help us if we could see each other, but I thought it would be weird if we didn't see my family while he visited and although Dad was getting a handle on his stress and drinking, he was still having a rough time. As much as I wanted to see him, I knew Noah couldn't come, so I made excuses.
Plus, I was also away from Lee for the first time in my life, so I didn't have him to help keep me distracted, like I did when Noah first left for Harvard. I missed him terribly, but we were having our own problems. Like Noah, I know Lee was also frustrated that I had transferred colleges without being able to give a good explanation. I was keeping him at arm's length because I didn't want to have to lie to him about my Dad.
Lee and Rachel had broken up in the middle of our Freshman year. Since Rachel wasn't that far away at Brown, she and Lee would spend every other weekend at each other's schools. I think they both got tired of being away from their own campus every other weekend and missing out on the activities going on at their schools. They were each making new friends of their own and trying to become involved in various on-campus groups and wanted to make the most of their college experiences. They both started making excuses to skip a weekend here or there and by January had decided to break-up.
Lee started dating Kate soon after our Sophomore year started. I had been a little needy of my bestie with everything going on in my life and the new girlfriend was not happy about it. She didn't want her man picking up every time another girl called. Lee tried to talk when they weren't together, but he was falling hard for her and trying to spend all his time with her. Plus, he was busy with school. I wasn't going to complain to Lee about wanting to focus on his relationship after he had moved across the country with me, so I could be closer to my boyfriend. But, the time I needed my best friend the most, he was unavailable for me. We started to rely on texting for most of our conversations.
Noah and I got into a horrible fight on a call one night in October. That day had already been awful for me. Brad was having problems with a bully at school that I was trying to deal with and I couldn't get ahold of Dad at work. I don't know who started yelling at who first, but after a few minutes of escalating anger, Noah got quiet and the conversation took a turn.
"Elle, what's going on with us? We can't get through a conversation anymore without fighting."
The change in Noah's tone worried me, I could handle the yelling, we had been doing so much of that lately, I had gotten used to it. Looking back now, I think it gave me somewhere to direct my anger about everything else that was going on in my life but of course I didn't realize that at the time. But this sounded different, I tried to make excuses. "School and everything with Brad is so stressful and we haven't seen each other in months."
"There's more to it than that. I feel like I make you miserable every time we talk and I always feel worse when we get done talking too. We can't keep doing this to each other."
"What do you mean, Noah? What are we supposed to do?"
"I think we should talk about taking a break for a little while. Let's give each other . . ."
I interrupted Noah mid-sentence. "A BREAK! What do you mean we should take a break?" I started out yelling, but could hardly get the rest of the words out. I was shocked he would say anything like that and immediately thought it must have been something he had been thinking about for a while, that he had been wanting to dump me.
"What if we just give each other until the holidays. Thanksgiving is only a month away. We'll see each other again and we can talk then. I think. . . "
I interrupted him again, my voice croaking as I tried to talk through my tears. "How long have you been thinking about this? Did you meet someone else, is that why you want to break-up? Or do you want to start hooking up with random girls again like you did in high school?"
"Of course not, why would you even say that Shelly? Everything was perfect last year, this isn't something I want. I want you back in Boston with me. Why did you have to leave and put us through this?"
"That's not fair, Noah, you know I had to take care of my family!"
"We're not getting anywhere here, let's talk tomorrow when we've both had a chance to calm down. I love you, Elle."
I hung up without responding. How does breaking up help our relationship? We won't even have a relationship then. I never gave Noah a chance to call me the next day. In my anger, I blocked his number on my phone and didn't read or listen to any messages from him. If he didn't want to be together anymore, that's fine, we wouldn't be together. I knew I wasn't thinking clearly about this, but I was so frustrated with everything going on in my life by that point, I wanted one problem to go away and at that point the easiest one was Noah.
I took a week to cool off before calling him back. I called at the normal time when we usually talked, except instead of hearing his normal, "Hey, Shelly", it was a female voice on the other end of the call.
"Hello?"
"Uh, hi, is Noah there?"
She giggled before answering. "Sorry, he can't come to the phone right now."
"Um, okay. I'll give him a call later."
"Okay, bye." She drew out the word bye into two syllables as tears started coming to my eyes. Surely he hadn't moved on from me so quickly, had he?
I immediately got on his social media and that's where I saw a bunch of pictures he was tagged in from earlier in the night. Looks like he was at a party and was dancing with all the leggy blonds there. That's fine, if he wants to move on, so can I. I left his number blocked on my phone and blocked him from all my social media accounts. Our relationship was over and I was in shock.