Inayos ko ang uniform at lumabas na sa kotse. I used my car now dahil wala akong future sa pagcocommute.
Hindi naman ata agaw pansin ang kotse pero lahat sila ay nakatingin sa direksyon ko. I think my car is bit old but this is what I like. It's Sedan, but the color is quite attention seeker. I requested to make the color customized, so the color is Dark Green. I like greeny things.
Naglakad na ako papasok sa loob ng campus. Bag on my shoulder, coffee in my hand, and eyes on the hall. Everyone was staring at me like I am the moon that lights up the sky. What the hell is wrong with everyone?!
Umupo na ako sa upuan ko at tinanggal ang suot kong glasses. Inipon ko ang buhok ko at pinaypayan ang sarili. It's 8 in the morning and it's so hot.
Sumipsip ako ng iced coffee at itinali ang mahaba kong buhok.
Napairap ako nang makita si Syd. Ciara is with him.
We're in good terms. I'm just irritated. I think Syd and I were friends. I think?
Pumasok siya sa loob at umupo agad sa tabi ko. His serious deep eyes look into mine. His thick brows almost meet.
“What's wrong with you? Why are wearing PE uniform when today is Monday?” kunot noong tanong niya sa akin.
Inilapag ko ang kape at bumuntong hininga.
“I forgot to wash my uniforms. But don't worry, I put them on the laundry shop before I enter the school.” sabi ko sa kanya.
Napaface palm siya at di makapaniwalang napatingin sa akin.
“Rich girl.” he murmured.
“Uniform pa din naman 'to. Wala nga lang sa tamang oras.” sabi ko sa kanya at ngumisi.
Wala namang mali magsuot ng PE uniform kahit monday di ba? Eh nakalimutan kong palabahan ang uniforms ko eh.
“You should learn how to wash clothes.” sabi sa akin ni Syd habang nagsusulat siya.
“I know how. Wala lang akong time.” sabi ko sa kanya.
I actually know how to wash clothes, especially undies. I just forgot about it and there's no time na para maglaba. Kaya PE na lang ang sinuot ko.
It's been two weeks simula noong makapunta ako sa apartment ni Syd. Umuwi din ako noong 1 am dahil tumila na ang ulan. And also, nahiya ako kay Syd dahil nga sa sinabi niya. Yeah right, magagalit ang landlady at magagalit din si Ciara niya. Whatever!
“Where do you want to eat?” tanong sa akin ni Syd habang nililigpit ang mga gamit niya. I don't really get him, ano kami kung may Ciara?
“Sa park.” sagot ko sa kanya at ngumisi. Agad na nagtaka ang mga mata niya. Pero kalaunan ay tumango siya sa sinabi ko.
Inayos ko ang bag ko at sumunod sa kanya sa paglabas ng klase. Tapos na ang klase namin at ayos naman ang mga subject ko. Hindi naman na din mababa ang scores ko kat Prof. Teressa dahil katabi ko si Syd. Not that pinapakopya niya ako, tinuturuan niya ako agad pag hindi ko magets kaya nagegets ko na agad bago pa mag test.
“I brought my car.” sabi ko kay Syd noong nakalabas kami sa campus.
“I have my night shift ngayon sa Sweet Coffee..” he informed.
Tumango ako at naglakad papalayo sa kotse ko. Babalikan ko na lang...
Without hesitation, sinuot ko ang helmet na iniabot sa akin ni Syd. Sumakay ako at kumapit agad sa bewang niya.
I got used to ride his motorcycle. I also got used holding onto his waist.
We stopped in a street where street foods ay ibinibenta. Syd parked his motor kung saan pwede ipark iyon. It's near the park kaya no hassle sa paglalakad plus it is enjoyable walking in the cold streets with Syd. He took me here last night and we enjoyed eating while walking on the streets. It feels amazing.
We've been like this since the day that I went
on his apartment. He always says that I should treat him pero ang ending ay siya ang nagbabayad para sa mga kinain namin!
“Ano ang gusto mo?” tanong niya sa akin. Ngumisi ako sa kanya.
“Ikaw.” I joked but I know that I really meant it.
He shook his head and tried to hide his sweet smiles but I know he couldn't. It's a simple gesture from him that I already know. He can't stop his smiles. Sobrang seryoso at responsable siyang tao at hindi niya kaya itago ang mga ngiti niya. Parang minsan lang siya mapangiti at ngumiti at hindi iyon napipigilan. I find him cute whenever he try to hide his smiles.
“Heldigar, seryoso kasi.” seryosong sabi niya sa akin.
“Seryoso naman ako.” I tried to use a serious tone but in the end, we both laughed. He stopped laughing and stared at me for a couple of seconds.
His stares makes my heart fly in so much happiness. Ang mga titig niya ay kakaiba, it is like he was staring at a very wonderful sculpture in the museum. His stares make me fall for him...
I ordered our favorites. His favorite is isaw and calamares. While my favorite is Kwek kwek and kikiams. I got used to eat this street foods, I actually loved it.
I payed before he got the chance to pay. Nag abot ako ng one hundred peso bill at ngumisi sa kanya.
“At sa wakas, I can finally say that I treated you.” sabi ko sa kanya at ngumisi.
He just smiled at me and helped me na bitbitn ang mga binili namin.
Alas sinco pa lang ng hapon at medjo maliwanag pa kahit na ber months na. Ang sabi sa akin ni Roberto ay sa susunod na linggo ay makakauwi na sila. So I must enjoy being free like this. My phone isn't bugged anymore dahil di na ata napagtutuunan ng pansin dahil sa problema nila sa US. Though wala naman akong katext at wala naman silang mapapala sa cellphone ko.
Umupo ako sa bench at ganon din si Syd na umupo sa tabi ko. I watched the kids play in the playground. I didn't have the chance to play here like them. I stopped playing when I was 7. I think playing is not for me anymore even if I'm still a kid.
“Gusto mong maglaro?” Syd's deep voice filled my ears. He whispered on me. Ngumiti ako at nilingon siya.
“Would you play with me?” nakangiting tanong ko sa kanya. Ibinaba niya ang bag at ang mga pagkain na hawak niya. Binuksan niya ang dalawang butones ng polo niya. His serious eyes fall into mine.
“Yes, start running because I will always be at your back..” malambing na bulong niya.
Natawa ako at ibinaba ang kwek kwek na kinakain ko at inayos ang pants na suot ko. Inangat ko yun hanggang sa tuhod at humalakhak kay Syd na titig na titig sa akin. Is he really serious?
Tumayo siya at lalo akong natawa. Para siyang pikon na makikipaglaro sa akin. Seryosong seryoso at mukhang di nagbibiro. Oh god, kung ako ang kalaro nito ay matatakot ako sa kanya. He looks like he wouldn't give a damn!
“Let's play with the see saw.” tumatawang sabi ko sa kanya at itinuro ang see saw na bakante.
Tumango siya at lumapit sa akin. Noong una ay napapalayo ako sa kanya at di mapigilan ang matawa dahil sa seryosong ekspresyon niya.
At dahil palayo ako nang palayo sa kanya at patuloy na tumatawa ay mukha siyang naiirita at binibilisan ang paglapit sa akin. I ran and tried to hide but I lost him!
Tawa lang ako nang tawa habang iniikot ang paningin sa buong parke. It's getting dark at di ko mahanap si Syd. I stopped laughing and tried to hide. Umurong lang ako nang umurong at natawa dahil naamoy ko ang pabango niya. I laughed and stared at him, nasa likuran ko siya at seryosong nakatingin sa akin. I faced him, tiningala ko siya at di mawala ang ngiti sa akin.
“Got you.” he whispered and held my hands.
And for so many times, my heart explodes like fireworks. It explodes because I am very happy. Ngumiti ako kay Syd at humawak sa kamay niya. We walked towards the vacant see saw.
I can't stop smiling and glancing to Syd who's with his usual expression. Serious and he wouldn't give a damn.
Nauna akong sumakay sa see saw at sumunod siya. Agad akong umangat sa ere dahil mas mabigat sita sa akin! Of course, with his biceps and sexy body alam mo na talaga kung sino ang mas mabigat sa amin!
He's staring at me while we play see saw. Up and down, it feels so ecstatic and memorable.
“I don't usually play when I was a kid.” I confessed.
“Bakit? Kasi wala kang kalaro?” he asked. Umiling ako sa kanya at dinama ang pag angat sa ere.
“I don't like playing. I love crying and hiding..” sabi ko sa kanya at ngumiti. I saw how his jaw clenched and his eyes looked so furious but he kept calm and serious.
“My Mama and I got into an accident when I was six. I lost her..” dagdag ko pa at mapait na ngumiti.
Tumingala ako para hindi bumagsak ang mga luha sa aking mga mata. Ngumiti ako kay Syd na nakatitig lang sa akin.
“Hiniling ko na sana ay isinama na ako ni Mama noon..” sabi ko sa kanya at humalakhak.
We continued playing and I continued speaking and telling to the man that I've met before and now is very close to me. I trust him. I trust and I believed in him.
“You don't have to tell me. I don't want to see you cry, Heldigar.” seryoso at mahinang sabi niya sa akin. Ngumiti ako sa kanya at nagpunas ng mga luha.
“I was molested by my own father. I was molested since I was 6, Syd.” I confessed and stared at him. I don't know if he heard it clearly, it's almost a whisper. Ngumiti ako sa kanya at hinayaang bumagsak ang mga luha.
For the second time, I didn't think about that saying to the guy who I liked. I just did and I don't know what will happen next.
He stopped the see saw and carefully lay me down on the ground.
I wiped my own tears and looked at him. He looked so confused and angry.
“I'm sorry..” I whispered. My lips were trembling and same with my hands.
“You don't have to know that. Forget about it----”
“I'm here...” he hushed and pull me to a warm embrace.
His embrace gave warmth. I cried on his shoulder and all he did was to hug me until I feel okay.
We are in the middle of the park, he was embracing me while I am crying. All I can feel is the warmth of his embrace and the feeling of being safe in his arms. I have nothing to say anymore...
I know that someday, he will own my heart.
Umupo ako sa lapag at niyakap ang mga tuhod. I want to let this thing out of my soul.. I want Syd to know what's really behind Heldigar Silvestre. I want him to know and I want to know if he will still accept me for who I am... but I am scared, palagi naman akong takot.
Takot dahil baka hindi ako matanggap ni Syd. Takot dahil baka mag iba ang tingin niya sa akin. I'm scared... kay Syd lang ako naging malapit at nakaramdam ng kalayaan na matagal kong tinatamasa. Natatakot ako sa pupwedeng mangyari. Takot ako sa ama ko, takot ako sa kaya niyang gawin. Sobra akong takot... habang buhay na ata akong takot.
“Umuwi na tayo, Heldigar.” sabi ni Syd sa akin. Nakasquat siya sa harapan ko. His eyes were pleasing and confused.
“Did you heard w-what I said?” mahinang tanong ko sa kanya.
“Hindi masyado. I got distracted by your tears, Heldigar.” seryosong sabi niya at akmang pupunasan niya ang luha ko nang ilayo ko ang sarili ko sa kaniya.
Halatang nagulat siya sa ginawa ko. Maski ako ay nagulat sa inakto ko. I just don't want him near me..
Bumagsak ang kamay niya at hindi makapaniwalang napatingin sa akin. I wiped my own tears and have the courage to stand.
“Thank you for tonight, Syd. See you tomorrow.” sabi ko at naglakad papalayo sa kanya.