When I woke up my head feels like being hammered. Oh God! I stood up and looked myself in front of the mirror. I am a mess. My face's a mess!
"Oh, you're up already." I looked at Estella who came from the bathroom.
I held my head. "What happened last night? I barely remember everything."
"What the fuck? You've almost been harrassed, Letizia Blair and you can't remember anything?"
"All I can remember is..uh.. Damon? We kissed? Lennox is flirting with other woman? I — I don't know. I don't remember everything. Explain please, S."
She groaned. "Ayan! Inom inom ka hindi mo naman pala kaya! Buti na lang at kasama mo 'ko." She shook her head and laughed. "Lennox saved you from that asshole, Damon."
A memory flash back from last night. Lennox flirting with other woman. Damon tried to harrassed me but Lennox rescued me from him. Thank God he was there I don't know what will happen to me if he wasn't there...But I am still mad at him and I shouldn't be. I don't have the right to be mad at him. I don't have the right to be jealous whenever someone's trying to flirt with him. We're not into a relationship...I am not even sure if he's serious about me. I shouldn't have let my emotions ruled over my system.
"Take a bath, Letizia. Come on, we're gonna be late!" Estella announced while she's putting make up on her face.
"Ugh! I am still sleepy. I want to sleep more! I love sleep. I forget about the pain, problems, stress, everything for a while. Hays!" Estella gave me a sharp look that's why I immediately went to the bathroom.
I wore a simple dark blue dress and a pair of stilettos. Palabas na ako sa kwarto ng biglang tumunog ang phone ko. Lennox's calling, I stared at the screen for a bit before I shut my phone off. This is not the right time for us to talk or I guess maybe there isn't a right time for us to talk. I should stop this while I am not still deeply in love with him. I need to save myself, for once.
After the mass we went to our favorite restaurant. Umuwi na rin kami agad pagkatapos kumain dahil kailangan namin mag-review ni Estella para sa papalapit na Midterm Exams.
There is a mini library here at our house. This is where I study and do my homeworks and stuffs at school. I opened my notes and started reviewing my lessons. Nagdala na lang si Mommy ng hapunan para hindi na ako bumaba pa para kumain. It was already eleven thirty when I finished studying. I stood up and went to my room to take a bath. I climbed to my bed and closed my eyes.
I woke up with the sound of my alarm. It's Monday again! It means I'll be seeing Lennox again. I am not sure if we're in good terms right now... but I don't know how to act whenever he's going to talk to me. My mind is battling whether I should talk to him or not.
I took a bath and fixed my uniform. Hindi na ako nakakain ng breakfast dahil nagmamadali na rin ako. Nagising ako ng maaga pero mabagal ako kumilos. I should definitely improve that kind of attitude.
Tumatakbo na ako papuntang classroom nang may nabangga ako. Nahulog ang mga gamit niya sa sahig kaya madali kong inangat ang tingin ko para iabot ang mga gamit niya.
"Uh, here's your things. Una na 'ko." I handed his things but he didn't get it. He's just looking at me with sharp eyes and furrowed brows.
"You wouldn't even say 'Sorry'? Really, Miss?" He scoffed.
Oh God! I forgot to apologize. "Right. I forgot. I am sorry, I didn't see you walking that's why I bumped at you. Late na kasi ako sa klase ko kaya nagmamadali na ako. Pasensya." I gave him a small smile and turn my back against him.
I was about to walk away from him when he suddenly speak again.
"Put the blame on you. You're late on your class because you probably didn't woke up early. Kaya ka nagmamadali ngayon." Diretso niyang sabi.
Kinuha niya ang kanyang mga gamit sa akin. "Ay anong problema mo, erp? Mapanakit ka ng damdamin ah." I pouted. Humalakhak siya na ikinagulat ko naman. "Hey! What are you laughing at?"
He shook his head. "I am not laughing." I glared at him. "Okay, I'll stop laughing. You're funny. I like you."
Mas lalo pang umawang ang labi ko sa sinabi niya. "What the fuck?"
"Tsk! Pasmado ang bibig. It's not good for women to curse. Especially you, you look like an angel. So don't curse, okay?"
"Sira ulo ka ba? Mind your own business...I am now fucking late because of you! Una na 'ko. Babush!" I turned my back at him and run fastly as I can hanggang sa makarating ako sa tapat ng classroom namin. Shit! Nasa loob na ang teacher namin. Fuck that guy! Sakto lang dapat ang dating ko kung hindi niya na ako kinausap pa.
Pumasok ako sa room at tumabi sa may pintuan. "Sir! Sorry, I'm late. May inasikaso lang po sa bahay." I lied. Tumango naman si sir kaya agaran akong naglakad patungo sa aking upuan.
Lunch nang niyaya ako ni Estella na kumain sa labas. Agad kong niligpit ang gamit ko at tumayo na para makalabas sa classroom nang may humila sa braso ko.
His touch is very familiar. His touch made my heart flutter. Again. "We need to talk."
I glanced at him and removed his hands on my arms. "What is it?"
"Can we talk somewhere else?"
I looked around to see if our classmates are still here. Tanging si Estella na lang ang natira. Tumingin ako sa kanya at mukhang alam na niya ang gusto kong ipahiwatig kaya tumalikod siya at naglakad palabas ng room.
I looked back at Lennox and cleared my throat. "We'll talk here. What's the problem?"
"Baby, you're avoiding me. Don't you dare deny it. I am calling you like a thousand times already but you're not answering your phone." Sabi niya sa kalmadong boses.
I am now out of words. Hindi ko alam na tumawag siya sakin. I've turned off my phone since yesterday because I'm busy studying.
"Uh, I've been busy studying...Exams are coming and I want to focus on studying. That's it. No more questions asked, Lex. I need to go." Umayos ako ng tayo at naglakad na palabas nang bigla ulit siyang nagsalita.
"What's our problem? Tell me.. please baby. So I—I know what to do." Hindi ko siya pinansin at diretsong lumabas ng classroom. Naghihintay naman si Estella sa akin sa corridor.
"Hey, you okay? Anong problema niyo?"
Umiling ako. "Nothing, S. Let's go."
We went to Cafe Leona which is located at Calle Crisologo to eat our lunch. This is our favorite coffee shop around the school. I ordered a carbonara pasta and bread while Estella ordered shrimp pasta and bread also.
"What's the deal with Lennox? He looked upset a while back." Estella asked.
"Uh, I don't know..." I answered and took a bite from my bread.
Nanliit ang mata niya sa'kin. "Really, Z? You don't know? Lately, you seemed to be very close with Lennox."
"Drop it, Stella. I don't want to talk about it."
She shrugged her shoulders and smiled at me. We went back to school after we finished our food. I roamed my eyes around to see if he's already here but his chair is empty. Our teacher arrived and he started discussing about Contemporary Arts but Lennox is still not here. Where is he? Hindi siya kailan man nahuhuli sa klase. Hanggang sa natapos ang huling subject namin wala pa rin siya.
"Where's Lennox? Bakit hindi siya pumasok?" Estella curiously asked.
"I don't know Estella. Stop asking. I don't know where he is." She nodded. "Uuwi ka na ba? Punta muna ako sa Main Library. I just need to search on something."
"Sige. Uuwi na ako. Sa bahay na ako mag-aaral. Take care. See you tomorrow, Z." She kissed my cheek and walked away.
Medyo malayo layo ang building namin sa Main Library ng school. Gusto ko doon mag-aral dahil kompleto ang mga libro nila. I was about to go inside when my phone rang, Aurelius is calling. Agad ko itong sinagot.
"Hello? Bakit ka—?"
He cut me off. "Nasa school ka pa ba?"
"I'm at the Library. Why?"
"Lennox. He's being a jerk now. Can you come here, Zia?" Hindi ako agad nakasagot. Narinig ko ang katahimikan sa kabilang linya. "Hey! Letizia, are you still there?"
"Uh, Oo. Nasaan ba kayo?"
"Dito sa field. Come here and get your man. He's being an asshole again." Sambit niya at binaba rin agad ang tawag.
Dahil malapit lang naman ang field dito nakarating din ako agad kila Aurelius. Nakaupo sa damuhan si David at Aurelius habang nakahiga naman si Lennox.
Lumapit ako sa kanila. "Hey, uh."
Sumulyap si Aurelius sa'kin at agad na tumayo para umalis. Sumunod naman sa kanya si David. "Hey! Pinapunta niyo ako rito tapos aalis kayo? The hell!" I yelled at them.
They pointed at Lennox who's already sleeping. "We'll be back in thirty." Aurelius sighed. "Talk to him. Communicate if you have a problem with each other. Relationship would not work without stable communication." He cooly said.
What? Relationship? Who? Kami ni Lennox? Are they crazy?
I cast a glance at Lennox who's laying on the grass. Naglakad ako patungo sa pwesto niya nang bigla siyang umupo.
"Uh, Ali and David told me to —"
Tinapik niya ang pwesto sa kanyang tabi. Senyas na umupo ako at tumabi sa kanya. "Sit down, please."
I sat beside him right away. "Kanina ka pa nandito? Bakit hindi ka pumasok?"
"Phew. Now you're worried about me pero kanina wala kang pakialam sa'kin."
Natahimik ako sa sinabi niya. "Uhm, sorry. Do you want me to leave?"
He chuckled. "I am not an idiot. Inutos ko sa mga kaibigan ko na papuntahin ka dito tapos tatanungin mo ako kung gusto kitang paalasin? No fucking way!"
"What?" I whispered.
Pansin ko ang titig niya sa akin mula sa aking peripheral view pero nakatuon ang atensyon ko sa field. "I am sorry. If I have done anything wrong, I'm sorry. If I have upset you, I'm sorry."
Everytime he's apologizing I feel like my heart's been shredding to pieces. I just can't resist him. "It's okay. It doesn't matter now. You can flirt or date someone else. We're not...I mean we're not into a relationship so it's fine if—"
He cut me off. "What are you talking about?"
I don't know if I should tell this to him but since I want this to be over sasabihin ko na. "Nakita kita noong party ni Ali. You're with a girl—or a friend? I don't know. Both of you are laughing and I saw happiness in your face and I never saw your face like that... Her hands are also in your thighs. I didn't see her face that much but I sense that she's pretty... I mean—you look good together. But don't mind me, no need to worry about me. Just—Ugh! Whatever. Just do what you want. I will completely understand." I utterly explained. Kinakabahan ako sa isasagot niya kaya bahagya akong tumayo para makaalis na nang bigla niya akong hinila at pinaupo sa pagitan ng kanyang hita.
I am now blushing! I am very sure of it. Fuck!
"Hmm. Where are you going? About the girl you saw she's just a friend. Dahil maingay ang paligid lumapit siya sa'kin para ibulong ang katarantaduhan na ginagawa ni David. I don't care about her. She's David's girl. I am only yours, baby. Don't be jealous. Ikaw ang gusto ko." He whispered on my ear.
Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at tuluyan nang lumingon sa kanya. "I can't do this anymore. What are we Lennox? What am I to you? Are you serious about me? If not please stop this so I can save myself from falling in love with you."
He cupped my face and met my gaze. "You're very special to me. I don't know when but I just figured out that you're the only who I wouldn't mind losing my sleep for, you're the only one who I can never get tired of talking to and the only one who crosses my mind every day. You are the only one who can make me smile without even trying and the only one who can affect my whole body system with every actions you do. I—I can't explain with words how much you mean to me but you're the only one I'm afraid of losing and the only one I want to keep for the rest of my life, baby."
My heart is rejoicing at what he said. It made me feel contented. "Oh God! Your words! You're really driving me crazy. Isang salita mo pa hindi na talaga ako makakaahon sa'yo. I am scared. What if masaktan mo ako? What if masaktan kita?" I gasped.
"Kapag nagmahal ka, masasaktan ka. Pain is part of loving someone, baby. There's no love if there's no pain...but I promise, I will do everything to lessen the pain. You have been in so much pain. I don't want to see you hurting again." He kissed my forehead. "Letizia, I want us to officially date."
Natawa ako sa pagiging bossy niya. I slightly punched his chest. "After our exams. Let's have a date, baby."