I went to bed with a headache. I've never seen Ian so mad before. I mean sure I knew he was an asshole, it just didn't know how enraged he could get.
I woke up without any relief from my headache. This isn't a very good sign. It's what always happened before my severe panic attacks would come.
I walked to the kitchen and grabbed some water and an ice pack for my head. I placed it against my temple and sighed. I could feel it coming.
"Hit your head?" I jumped. Ian appeared in front of me. No genuine concern was written on his face.
"No, headache."
"Ah," he drugs out.
"Yup."
"Have you decided?" He asked me. This conversation felt very awkward.
"On?" I asked. I couldn't focus my head hurt so bad.
"The trip to your Uncles," he rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, sure. Whatever," I said and walked into 'my' room. I shut the door and felt my knees go weak.
Before anything happened I locked the door and sat on my bed. I placed my head between my knees and could feel it overpower me.
My breathing became forced in and out at an increasing rate. I could see the world circle around me at an overbearing rate.
This is the first attack I've had without my father helping me. Or without him being around me in general. My throat was closing in on me, and tears streamed down my face. My eyes started to drift off as the world turned black.
☽
I woke up drenched in sweat on the ground. I was all alone. I sat up slowly and grabbed the water bottle from my bed. I took a few gulps and put the cool container against my forehead. I looked on the bed and grabbed my phone, dialing my father's number.
After a few rings, it went to voicemail and I hung up. Maybe mom with pick up. I'm sure my father is busy. I dialed her number and the same thing happened. I then remembered that typically there was a meeting at my pack on Thursday mornings. Of course, there was.
"Hey mom, just checking in. I know you're at the meeting right now. I completely forgot about it until a second ago haha. Anyways when you get the chance call me back. It's important." I hung up the phone and sighed before checking the time. It was eight o'clock.
I grabbed a pair of clothes with my toothbrush and shampoo and walked out of the locked room. Ian was nowhere to be found. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. While that warmed up I decided to brush my teeth.
I hopped in the shower and started to wash my hair. I took notice of the large bruise on my hip and frowned.
Hey Kathleen?
'Yeah?'
When did I get this?
'It must have happened when we passed out. Maybe we hit something. I'll heal it up.'
No, it's okay, don't worry about it. It's just a bruise.
'If you say so'
"Veda!" I heard Marianna's voice shout.
"In the shower!" I yelled back and regretted it. I grabbed my head and groaned.
'Do you want me to-'
No. I can handle it. I'll be okay.
'Okay. . .'
I finished up my shower and grabbed a towel from the rack. I put it over my hair and got dressed. I wore a pair of navy blue leggings and a white crop top. I usually don't go for crop tops, but today I didn't care. I put on a navy blue throw over to cover up some skin.
I walked out of the bathroom and to 'my' room. Marianna was on my bed with her phone on.
"Hey," I said and took the towel off my hair.
"Damn girl that outfit is hot," Marianna expressed.
"Thanks," I gave her a light smile and brushed my hair.
"Is something wrong?" She put her phone down.
"No, I'm okay."
"You don't have to lie-"
Ring ring.
I picked up my phone and hit answer, "Veda White."
"Honey, it's your mother. What happened?" I looked at Marianna and sighed.
"It happened again."
"What happened? Xavier get in here!"
"Mom calm down. I just had a," I looked at Marianna and frowned in defeat. "panic attack again. That's all. I handled it." I looked over to see Marianna give me the look. I hate when people felt bad for me.
"Was Alpha Gray there to help?" I heard my father ask.
"No dad he wasn't. I was in my room when it happened. It doesn't even matter anymore," I scratched my neck and sat next to Marianna on the bed.
"Like hell, it doesn't matter. How bad was it?" He boomed.
"It was more or less a really bad one. I have a headache so please lower your voice. I mostly called to tell you I may visit sooner than later. I am leaving in a week or two to visit another pack for an alliance. It's cross country so I won't be here for two weeks."
"Don't change the topic. I think I'll have a long talk with Alpha next chance I get. Now the trip. What's the point of a cross country alliance?" My father asked.
"It's Uncle Elias' pack. It's always good to make alliances, Dad. You know the precautions we must make to keep our packs safe. You never know what could happen."
"Oh him. I haven't heard from him in weeks. Tell him if he doesn't call me back I'll kick his ass okay? But don't forget to tell Alfred I love him," I heard my mother speak. I chuckled and agreed.
"When will you becoming?" My father asked.
"I was thinking Monday. I'll only stay a day or two, of course, I believe we leave either Thursday or Friday night."
"How will you get here? Will Ian be joining you?"
"He has responsibilities here. I think I should either take a bus or pay someone to take me. I'm not sure yet."
"I'll take you!" Marianna yelled next to me.
"Who was that?" I put them on speaker and rolled my eyes.
"This is Marianna Gray. Ian's sister, she's a year older than me."
"Hello Alpha and Luna White. I would love to bring down Veda! Would it be too much if I stayed on your pack's land?"
"Not at all, dear. We can make the guest bedroom up for you!" My mother exclaimed.
"Thank you so much, ma'am. I can't wait." Marianna was smiling.
"Hey, guys I'm going to go. I have some classes to do." I spoke up.
"Okay dear, we love you. It was a nice meeting, you Marianna!" My mother said.
"You too Miss. White!" I said goodbye and hung up.
"Marianna you don't have to drive me down there. I understand you have school and that might interfere with it."
"I have two weeks off actually! Some holiday or something. Either way, my schedule is empty. Plus I have vacation time from work I can take."
"As long as you want to."
"I do! It will be fun! And I can meet your friends too!"
"You're such a bubbly person," I chuckled.
"Rude. Anyways panic attacks? How long have you had them?"
"Since I was nine. They stopped for a long time though. They started coming up again about a month ago."
"Was it because of my brother?" She asked bluntly.
"I...sort of? It's hard to explain and I don't want to get into it. It's not just his fault though. I'm just mentally messed up," I shrugged.
"This is good information to have. You never know what could happen."
"I guess." I shrugged.
"Oh, I forgot to tell you. Ian told me you guys are leaving Saturday next week. It would have been sooner but the pack has a bunch of meetings next week."
"How long do you want to stay at my house then?" I asked her. Ian couldn't tell me himself?
"We should stay until Thursday. That way you can hang out with your family and I can get to know how your pack runs."
"Okay. Are you hungry?" I asked.
"Starving." I laughed and we walked to the kitchen. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and started pulling out stuff for pancakes.
"Is Ian here?" Marianna asked.
"I'm not sure."
"I'll go check." She got up and went to his office door. I heard her knock twice before Ian answered.
"Do you want pancakes?" I heard Marianna ask. I couldn't hear his response and assumed it was a no. I was wrong. Marianna came back with her brother by her and they both sat down.
"Ian I am very upset with you." Marianna looked at her brother with disappointment in her eyes.
"What did I do this time?" He rolled his eyes.
"Are you aware that your mate had a panic attack this morning?" I started coughing and turned to the sink. Why did you have to bring this up, Marianna?
"Is that true Veda?" I didn't respond. I just went to the stove and started cooking some pancakes. "Marianna give us a minute."
I heard Marianna leave the room and sighed. I can't believe this is happening. I hate being like this.
I took off the first couple of pancakes and felt Ian come up behind me. I was startled when his hand went to my hip. He turned me around and my breath caught in my throat. His body was so close to mine.
"I'm going to ask you again. Did you have a panic attack this morning?" His voice was low as he spoke.
"Um. . .yeah," I looked down. He brought his hand under my chin and I looked at him.
"Was it me again?" He looked sad.
"Sort of. It doesn't matter," I turned around again.
"Veda look at me." I was hesitant but turned to him. His blue eyes took my breath away. "I'm sorry. Last night I was over the top. It's just that you disappeared. I thought something happened, or you left."
"I want this to work Ian. I wasn't planning on leaving you, I just needed a run." He didn't answer, he just pulled me in for a hug. I was surprised to say the very least. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a deeper hug. I needed to enjoy this while it lasted.
"I know I can be an asshole Veda. I just need you to stick around so you can understand why."
"I can do that," I went to let go but he didn't. This was another side of Ian that I hadn't expected. He seemed so soft and vulnerable. Completely different than his usual self.
"This is cute and all, but I'm hungry," Marianna spoke up. I went to let go but once again Ian didn't.
"Deal with it." He muttered to Marianna.
"Ian let her go. I'm starving."
"I made a couple already. You can have those," I spoke up.
"Yay!" She pushed by us and grabbed the pancakes. Ian shifted so I was at his side instead. His arm around my hips.
"You guys seem to be getting along," Marianna notes before shoveling food into her mouth.
"For now," I chuckled. Ian didn't find it very funny though and gave me a look.
"Hey! Maybe I'll meet my mate at your pack! I mean you never know what could happen." Marianna dozed off with a smile on her face.
"What do you mean at your pack?" Ian asked.
"I forgot to tell you," I wiggled out of his arms so I could look at him, "Marianna is driving me up to my parents in a few days before we leave."
"Thanks for the warning," he rolled his eyes. What a sassy being.
"I just decided this morning. I knew you would be busy anyway and Marianna is on vacation anyway. It's a win-win." He looked at me and frowned.
'It's going to take him a while before he trusts us, Veda. Can't you see he's broken down? He needs time.'
I'm starting to learn that.
"Okay," his face went back to his emotionless self.
"(*0*) *5*-**5*," I said to him.
"What?" He asked.
"My phone number. You wanted it right?" I asked and started putting on more pancakes.
"Oh. Mind repeating that?" He took out his phone and I chuckled.
"I'll just do it." I grabbed his phone and started a contact for myself.
I handed the phone back with a smile. He looked at the contact and instantly looked super annoyed.
"Why?" He asked.
"I am the best mate. I mean you should know this, I'm here aren't I?" I laughed.
"The emojis?"
"They're cute and make you seem like you care if an outsider saw."
"Or it will make you a target for my assumed weakness."
"You can change it. I don't care," I took off the second batch of pancakes and gave them to Ian.
Lastly, I made up mine and ate standing up. Marianna was in her little word and Ian was on his phone.
Once I saw them finish their meals I grabbed their plates and started washing the dishes. My food was cold, but I wasn't hungry anyway.
"When's your birthday Veda?" Marianna asked.
"April 7th."
"Aries?"
"Why?" I laughed.
"I'm just curious jeez," she chuckled.
"I have to get some work done. I'll see you later Marianna, Ian." I went to walk to 'my' room but Ian stopped me.
"What work?"
"School. I am younger than you Ian." He stopped and his forehead creased.
"Right. School," he turned and walked away. I guess he forgot I was younger? I'm not sure what that was about.