Perrie’s POV
*A little earlier that day*
Jade and I were going to my house because we wanted to go to get some ice cream but of course I had forgotten my money at home and I didn’t want to borrow anything from Jade (I think I was the boy in the relationship or at least the more dominant) so I had to go home first and get some money. Thankfully mum wasn’t at home, maybe buying some more wine and whatever she was drinking. Dad was in the living room and I went up to my room.
I opened my purse but it seemed that I had already spent all my money!
I tried to think where to get money in this house – I couldn’t ask dad because I still didn’t know what mum would do then if he would give me some. Maybe she would come home in the time I asked him and then I couldn’t go and get some ice cream with Jade.
I still didn’t know how I deserved her – she was such a perfect girl, she was lovable, she was funny, she was beautiful, she was smart and even though she had been bullied in school she was friendly to everyone. I still got furious when I thought that someone would even think about bullying her – what had she done wrong? Did she wear the wrong school uniform? Did she hit anyone?
No, because she was a nice girl and she didn’t deserve this all. No-one should ever think about hurting her because she was amazing. She would never lie or tell something that wasn’t true because she was innocent.
Again I thought about how to get money, she was probably impatient already – no wait, she was the patient one of us. I chuckled and decided to get some money from Jonnie’s room. I hadn’t been in his room since I was like twelve or something because mum locked me in there while Jonnie was somewhere with class. When Jonnie had come home again I hadn’t eaten or drunk anything in four days and was half dead but he helped me.
The next day he and mum had another fight, and he threw something at her again but she used me to protect herself again. It had always been like this – shouldn’t she protect me from him? And shouldn’t she be the one who would save me from Jonnie if he had locked me inside his room?
His room, or better his rooms were quite small, therefore he had two. The first one was only a bedroom with a bed and some clothes around on the floor. There also was a table in the middle of the room with two chairs.
But I didn’t think I would find money in here.
To be honest, I had never been in the second room so I didn’t know if it was a room or a bathroom but I was pretty surprised when I opened the door. It was a black pitched room without any lights – a small oil lamp hung on the wall above me but it didn’t burn right this moment. There were no windows, only a dirty bed and some clothes too. They looked like girl’s clothes and I shook my head – would he bring a girl here? Seriously? And why would she even take off her clothes?
As I came closer I saw it was only a jacket and as I lifted it up I realized there was something inside one of the pockets. The jacket looked familiar to me but I couldn’t tell where I had seen it already… I took out a purse of the pocket and smiled. “Jackpot,” I whispered and opened it. I looked for some money but there was only one pound inside…
I should hurry up, Jade was waiting for me!
I took out a card of the purse and saw it was a student-card, like the ones we had at school too. Would he bring a girl from my school-
I gasped as I saw the photo, even though it was dark. The red hair, this smile, these eyes… Could it be? I tried to read the name but it was too dark to see it in here.
I looked around for a flashlight but all I found was a piece of paper. I grabbed it and walked out with the student-card in my hands, back into my room. Now I could read on the card “Jade Thirlwall”. Okay, calm down, Perrie, Jonnie had saved her, maybe he had just found her jacket and brought it here. It doesn’t mean she was here with Jonnie.
I looked now at the piece of paper, which was pretty big and read on top: “Get Jade.”
What?
I read through it:
“Get Jade.
I need to get this girl and keep her away from Perrie. I know what will happen if I don’t and I really don’t want to risk this.
So, I found out that they were fighting today. Perrie had just come home and I can hear her cry – what happened? I am pretty sure it was Jade’s fault and I need to do something against it. So, as I know Jade she will come here today to apologize and to find out what has happened between them. I will find her and then I will hit her head with something I find on my way.
When she is unconscious I will bring her here and then I will keep her in here, trying to convince her that it is only Perrie’s fault that she is in here. Perrie will forget about her and then I will release her, when they are no longer friends.”
It ended here but I could see had had written something on the back side too. I could feel my eyes sting, the tears threatened to fall.
“Today I released Jade. I told her everything, why I had kidnapped her. We agreed that I would let her go if she wouldn’t tell anyone that I had had here with me, keeping her away from everyone. She herself hurt her foot so the lie she invented seemed to be true – she would tell everyone that she wanted to go to Perrie’s and needed to pee. She had trapped in the woods and because of that she had hurt her foot so she couldn’t walk anymore. I seriously don’t know what to say, this was probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done. I regret kidnapping her, but at the same time I don’t because now I know I can trust her.”
I ripped the paper in my hands and stared down at the white pieces on the floor. My sight was blurry and I could hear someone ringing on the doorbell and shouting my name – Jade.
How did she dare? Lying to me like this after all we had went through together?! How did she dare?! I trusted her, I kissed her, told her everything that had happened to me and is still happening and she just betrayed me. Did she only think about herself?!
She was the one who invented the lie, she was the one who hurt her foot and she was the one who lied to me. I actually was happy to have Jonnie because I thought he had saved the girl I was in love with.
I stomped down the stairs as I heard my dad talking to her and I glared at her, trying not show how much she hurt me. I tried to pretend that all I felt was anger, not the ache in my heart or the frustration I actually felt. She didn’t need to know that what she had done had actually gotten to me…
I don’t actually know what I shouted at her but before I slammed the door I could see her crying. I ran upstairs again and hid my face in the pillows, letting the tears flow. Never had I dared to fall in love with anybody, no boy or girl, because I expected them to hurt me, like my family did. I couldn’t trust anyone because everyone only wanted to hurt me.
Why did I let her wrap me around her finger? Why did I let myself fall for her and trust her? Why did I tell her everything? I got up and stared out of the window, seeing she was still there. Was she waiting for me to come back?
No way.
With trembling hands I got out my phone and typed in a text message. I didn’t need to see her reaction. She deserved these feelings for lying to me – never had I trusted anyone with my deepest secret, none of the girls knew it, none of the boys. And I told her the second day we knew and she knew it and still dared to do this to me.
Did she hate me?
Had I done anything wrong?
Was she in love with my brother?
I had heard that there were people who got kidnapped and then fell in love with the guy who had kidnapped them because they were the only person they could talk to apart from themselves. Did this also happen to Jade? Did she only stay with me to be in touch with Jonnie?
A sob escaped my mouth and I covered it with my hands, trying to make myself shut up. Why did I still cry over her? If I didn’t mean anything to her why would she mean anything to me?
Because you love her, stupid.
I sighed because it was true. I had managed to seriously fall in love with someone. The moment we kissed had been the best moment of my life but now I only wished it had never. I put on the radio to forget about everything and of course the perfect song came on. Like always when I switched on the radio it didn’t start from the beginning but from somewhere in the middle, this time it was the bridge.
“Dear it took so long
Just to feel alright
Remember
How to put back the lights in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time
That we kissed
‘cause you broke all your promises
And now you’re back
You don’t get to get me back
And who do you think you are?
Running ‘round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all
And who do you think you are?
Running ‘round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think… you are?”
I took in a deep breath and rested my head on my pillow, not paying attention to the next song on the radio really.
Was Jade not just like the guy in the song? She broke my heart and would most likely come back. Especially the line “I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed.” Did I really regret it? I didn’t until now – I wish I had never kissed her and told her how much she really meant to me. I mean, what would happen now?
If she had come together with Jonnie before she had told me she liked me too everything had been find because then it wouldn’t have been cheating. I would have been able to live with the thought that it wasn’t me who she wanted but it was hard to live with the thought that I wasn’t enough for her. Had I done or said anything wrong?
Was it… because I was a girl?
Again I sobbed and wiped my eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling.
From the very beginning she was against telling anyone because… she was ashamed of me. She wouldn’t admit it but I was sure this was the true reason. Probably she had never been bullied and just invented this all so I wouldn’t tell the whole world that we were together.
Maybe she thought that Jonnie was just like me as a boy. She would’ve the same but she wouldn’t get judged by anyone.
She really was ashamed of me…
I couldn’t help it and cry again, like I had been all day.
Jade had lied to me so she wouldn’t have to break up with me like a person should. She was a stupid coward that was too afraid to tell me in the face that she didn’t love me because I was a girl – I wanted to hate her. I wanted to tell her how much I hated her and hurt her, just like she had hurt me.
But I couldn’t.
Because I still loved her.
~*~
A/N: Sorry for the long wait but I have 4 tests next week and bronchitis so I should be in bed normally, but I need to go to school so I don't fail the tests and I am so exhausted then... Yesterday I should've been in school until 8pm but my dad got me because I was having pain everywhere and felt dizzy and everything so he drove to the doc with me (at around 5pm) and then we went somewhere else after I felt better again.
So, sorry again, I hope you forgive me! :)
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Love you all,
Marlene xx