(Time passed and I grew... the more I grew up the more my heart and mind adjusted to the things that gave me pain in the past... I grew to accept that mom was more attached to my big brother and sister)
Good- Tap..tap...tap "I'm gonna play outside, I'll be back before 5 P.M"
No answer!
(I wasn't as sad as before, my mind wasn't as dark as before because I knew he was waiting for me outside... to laugh with me... to share stories with me...)
Good- "Nii-chan, I have good news"
Him- "what is it, don't make me nervous"
Good- "Teacher gave me a question similar to what you taught me few days ago, and I got ot right!"
Him- "You did well, I knew you could do it! I'm a great teacher after all!"
Good- "What are you saying, Onii-chan, you should praise me more!"
(He was my light... there was no room left for me to feel sad, because every he filled my heart with happiness)
Him- "Is that so? good boy, good boy..."
Good- "Onii-chan! I am not a doggy!"
(He was like a friend... a best friend... a brother... as close as family... but then he disappeared without a word... a world where I could no longer feel the warmth as he patted my head... no longer see him smile... as longer see the frown on his face as he worried about me... that reality hit me hard... and that's when I realized... It was love... I love him... and when I realized I lost the first love of my life, the pain became even worse, and it wrecked me inside...)
[outside of room] "It's been months and he's not getting better... he looks so lifeless, he goes to school, eat with no appetite and locks himself in his room... there must be something wrong with him, you should talk to him about it"
[Click *door open]
Mama- "Good, are you asleep? Good? are you okay, baby? can you talk about it with mama?"
(Mama.. you came? for me?)
Good- "Mama... terrible crying"
(Do you see me?)
Mama- "Good calm down and talk to mama.. what's wrong? you've never cried like this before"
(This feeling is killing me... help me!)
Can I hug you? can you comfort my broken heart?
Mama- " don't worry mama is here... my poor baby... Good, what made you like this??"
I missed you...
Mama- "Cry it out, Good... cry it out..."
I missed you terribly...
Where are you, Onii-chan...
Please don't leave me....