INTERVIEW
The Interview w/ Zach Sang
Zach: Hello beautiful humans, I am here with Nadia Desiervo. Today's interview is very raw and genuine. I am so happy Nadia trusted me enough to talk about this difficult chapter in her life and is brave enough to share Grayson's story. So, please listen and today we celebrate him and his legacy.
Zach: First and foremost I want to ask, how are you Nadia?
Nadia: I don't know how to feel. I feel completely lost and broken. It's been a month since he has passed and the pain still feels the same.
Zach: What do you miss most about him?
Nadia: Everything. Gray was the type of person to take the shirt off his back for you, just to make sure you were okay. He didn't care to put others before himself. He was so selfless. That's what I admired most about him. Also, his thoughtfulness. Grayson would wake up before me but stayed in bed until I woke up, just to see me wake up and now I don't have that..
Zach: Were you with him the night he passed? If you don't mind me asking. You don't have to answer the question.
Nadia: I think part of his story is the way he passed away and I want to bring awareness to a dark situation that people struggle with every single day.
Zach: You are so brave, always remember that. Were you with him the night he passed?
Nadia: I... I was..um.. I was the one that found him.
*Zach passes Nadia tissues*
Zach: What went through your mind when you found him?
Nadia: Defeated. I felt so defeated. As much as I tried to pretend that he was going to be okay and he was going to survive, I was the one that found him. His body was there but his soul was gone.
Zach: Were you surprised he did it?
Nadia: Of course. I knew he struggled with depression and anxiety but I didn't know he would do it. He talked about our future together so much that him committing suicide never came to my mind.
Zach: Did the day he did it, did it feel strange?
Nadia: Not at all...I mean I had been busy that whole week because I was doing promotions for Givenchy and my documentary but he didn't act strange at all. I think I realized something was off when I arrived home at night
Zach: How so?
Nadia: The whole house felt off as soon as I walked in. He's normally waiting for me outside if i'm working late or in the living room but he wasn't. I just assumed he was sleeping or in the bathroom, so I checked the bathroom but he wasn't there, but never checked our room, which I truly believe was him guiding me...
Nadia: I went downstairs to get some clothes I had left in the dryer that morning and then I was thinking of going to our room after I was done because I honestly thought he was sleeping but something pushed me to check the garage and I went to open the door that leads to the garage and then I realized it was lock..locked.
Zach: You guys never locked it?
Nadia: Never. I called out his name..about..uh I don't know six times and he didn't answer so I started to panic so I went to find the key and it wasn't in the same place but I found it and that's when I saw him in the car...
Zach: So, he had suffocated himself in the car with the carbon dioxide?
*Nadia begins to sob *
Nadia: Yea..I just. I remember wanting to scream but I couldn't. I called 911 and I immediately went and opened the car to try and save him but I just knew he was gone.
Zach: Wow.. I am so sorry.
Nadia: I called Ethan to let him know everything that was going on and I remember the whole drive to the hospital I was just thinking of all the "what if's" What if I hadn't done this documentary or accepted the deal with Givenchy, I probably would have stayed home with him and he wouldn't have done it.
Zach: Did he have a pulse when you found him?
Nadia: No.
Zach: When did you realize he was gone?
Nadia: When I got home from his funeral. I didn't go upstairs after I found him. I waited until the ambulance got there and left with them to go to hospital and I couldn't go back our home because it was too painful so I went to my mothers house and I finally got the courage to go home after his funeral.
Zach: How did you feel when you went home?
Nadia: It still didn't feel real. I remember walking into our room and there were six letters for his dad, his mom, his sister, his brother, myself, and our son laying on our bed. I remember reading it and it finally set in that he wasn't here anymore.
Zach: Obviously his death is very difficult but i what do you think is the most difficult part?
Nadia: I think him not being able to meet our son and my son never meeting him. He'll never know the amazing person he was but I promise to always remember him who his father was and try my best to honor him though him.
Zach: I have no doubt in my mind that you will. Are you mad at him for doing it?
Nadia: No. When depression takes control, there's no stopping it. It overpowers to the point where some people can't take it anymore and I know it must of been especially hard on him with everything that was said about him, or our relationship in the media. I know he didn't purposely do it to hurt his family, friends, or myself but to just not feel pain anymore which saddens me.
Zach: What's your message with everyone suffering from depression?
Nadia: Open up. I know opening up for some people is difficult and this is coming from my experience because I hate expressing my emotions to others but please talk to someone. When you start talking to someone, it gets easier. The pain is temporary. Don't do a permanent solution to a temporary problem It's not fucking worth it.
Zach: If you could say anything to Grayson, one last time, what would it be?
Nadia: I love you and I always will. Doesn't matter who I end up with or what I do in life, he'll always be apart of it. I know he's looking down on me so I know my angel is protecting me from above.
Zach: He certainly is. Nadia, I love you. Thank you for having the courage and bringing awareness to this.
Nadia: Thank you for listening. It helps so much, especially during these times.
Zach: Though our interview is over, Nadia will actually being acoustics of some of her own songs and songs that remind her of Grayson. Before I leave, I will leave everything linked down below if anyone ever wants to reach out for help. It's never too late. Nadia, the room is all yours...
Nadia: So..the songs that I've chosen to sing that are my own songs are My Everything, One last time, Raindrops (An angel cried). The songs I've chosen from other artist are Hold On by Chord Overstreet, Ghost Of You by 5 Seconds Of Summer, Before you go by Lewis Capaldi, Lay me down by Sam Smith and My heart will go on by Celine Dion; which I'll be doing all the songs in order...
Nadia: Before I start singing, I just want to thank Zach again for allowing me to talk about Grayson and remembering his legacy. To all the people and fans that have reached out, thank you. All of it is appreciated, more than anything. This is for you, babe... This performance is for him.
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—alfredoflores
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alfredoflores Her Heart Will Go On.
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October 7
—zachsang
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zachsang 🌫
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nadiaspurse just saw the interview...i'm in fuckins tears. nadia is the strongest person in the industry, i don't care what anyone says. i hope she gets all the help she needs bc she has been through trauma. sending all the love her way!!
nadiaslut fuck her. if she wouldn't have been focused all on herself, maybe grayson still would be alive today. don't let her manipulate you guys.
disgustingnadia she's literally acting like the victim.
loverdo.lans we loved nadia!!
niallsflicker i can't even imagine how hard it was to talk about him during this interview, especially since his death is so recent. she truly is the definition of strong.
hadiasdirection how does she do it?!
icaurus1direction alexa play strong by one direction
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October 8
—risehadia
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risehadia nadia & harry seen leaving the zach sang show studio three nights ago!!! omfg
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hadiaoccasions i really hope they rekindle their relationship, not in a relationship type way but as a friendship
harryspells WAIT so was he at the studio listening to her talk abt grayson??
laylabarrisunn132 didn't her fiancé just die? and wasn't she just dating elliot a few days ago, and now she's back to harry. what a fucking slut
preciousnadia she looks so broken
harryswrongdirection i'm so sorry i'm off topic, but HARRY LOOKS SO GOOD
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October 10
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