My father decided to go home as Asmodeus couldn't enter in the institute. I knew that a part of him thought that he would betray him again and I truly hoped that he wouldn't. I was scared to put my trust in him but there was no other choice and especially now... Especially now when Alec and Samuel where captured by Lucifer.
We needed him.
I needed him.
My heart clenched by the thought of Alec. I didn't know how he was feeling. I didn't even knew if he was alive and the thought of losing another parent made me want to lose my mind. It made me want to lose control all over again as I did before when my mother was taken away from me.
But I couldn't do that.
Everything depended on me too much. I had so many responsibilities that I carried with me and I couldn't slip a second. I couldn't let my emotions come in the way when every action I took could lead to something that I couldn't reverse again. Not when the outcome would cause more damage than actually comfort me.
"What are you thinking about?" Alexis asked me, causing me to come back from the puddle of thoughts that blocked away my concentration on the powerpoint slide she was presenting to show which states Lucifer already targeted.
It was already past midnight and I was exhausted but somehow, I was restless to fall asleep. I rather sit down here, coming with solutions or tactics to go up against Lucifer than to be sitting all alone with these worrying thoughts in my head. They would make me go insane.
I sighed out deeply and shrugged off my shoulders as I saw that everyone was looking at me. I shook my head to reply a "No." to Alexis. She looked at me concerned but didn't pressure me more in front of everyone and I was glad.
Everyone knew that I was stressed. With everything that had happened, how couldn't I be and all for me to join Lucifer? I blamed myself and I knew for a fact that there were thousands of Shadowhunters blaming me too.
They were probably glad that I was suffering so much in return of it and a part of me was too. It was easier to feel that excruciating pain than dealing with the guilt that came with being the centre of attention in all of this.
"Washington, New York and Brooklyn are the three states that are affected the most. The mortality rate of mundanes have gone up to two thousand and it has been rising ever since." Alexis said.
Before she could speak again, someone spoke out, "How many Shadowhunters have died in the process of this?" I looked at the unknown male who was around our age.
Alexis sighed out as if she felt the pain and that already made me realise that it was a bad, high number. I swallowed the lump in my throat away as I couldn't bare hearing this anymore.
"More than three thousand... We haven't been able to track all of them down." Alexis said in a low voice. I could feel the unknown boy's eyes piercing at me but I didn't look up.
"When is the second wave coming?" I asked and looked up at Alexis. She looked at me unsure.
"I am afraid that it might be any time soon. From between four am till six am." Alexis said. We were at full attack and we were not able to do anything.
"How many Shadowhunters are still willing to fight?" I asked. Alexis sighed and shrugged her shoulders.
"Many have gone into hiding. The second wave of Lucifer will be deadly..." Alexis spoke out quietly and I sighed out sharply before standing up. Everyone's eyes were gazing at my tiny body.
"I am going out. It might caught him off guard." I said and was making my way out.
"Ella." Chris quickly spoke before holding my arm and pulling me back. I sighed out before closing my eyes as my back was facing him.
"It's a suicide mission." He spoke out. I opened my eyes and turned my body around so I could face him directly.
"He needs me alive." I said. Chris's eyes were flickering before mine. He was afraid. I could see it. He shook his head and held onto my hands tighter.
"It's too dangerous." He said softly and I sighed out.
"I know." My voice trailed off before I looked away from his gaze.
"But what other choices do we have?" I asked, finishing off my sentence.
"Let me go with you." He said and I immediately shook my head.
"No." I said quicker than my mind could progress it.
"I lost my mother. Alec and Samuel are in danger. I won't be able to live with myself if something happens to you too." I said and my voice started to break down.
I didn't care that people were standing in the same room as us, hearing every word that I was speaking out, hearing everything that Chris said to me. I didn't care to show everyone how I was feeling from the inside. How everything had damaged and traumatised me. I wanted to change everything. I wanted too but I was afraid.
"You are not the only person who won't be able to live with themselves if something happens to their loved ones..." He said softly and I heard Alexis, and Charlotte both gasp in shock by their cousin's words. I looked at him skeptical before I shook my head, protesting against his idea.
"Just please don't..." I whispered softly as I put my hand against his chest to push him away. He held my hand before I could do it.
"It took me a while to realise how I truly felt about you and I know that I still need to change myself to become worthy of you, and I will do that until you finally accept me..." He said in a low voice and I looked into his eyes as I felt my breath being taken away.
"W-What?" I stuttered, not being able to say anything else to him. Chris bit his underlip, unsure what to say to me now.
"I like you, Ella. I know I do. I just... I just need to become the better man you deserve to have in your life and I promise you, I will become it. I am changing." He said softly and I could feel my eyes becoming watery.
I sniffed softly and looked away from his eyes. I didn't wanted him to see me crying. I was taken back by his confession. I knew how much will power this took from him. He hated to express himself and the fact that he was doing that in front of so many people took a lot of energy for him.
"You are already the man I want you to be... You don't need to change yourself." I said softly, not being able to look at him. He lifted my chin up with his thump, making me directly look him into his eyes.
"Then you must know that I will never let you face Lucifer alone. Despite the fact what I have said earlier. I will never let you do this alone..." He said and I choked on my sobs. He pulled me into a hug as I held him tightly.
I squeezed my eyes shut as I held onto his shoulders tightly. I could feel his heart accelerating against my chest and it was the most warming feeling I had ever experienced. I hid my face in his chest as I let my sadness as well as happiness release.
"I hope you feel the same way..." He softly whispered in my ear. I felt his hot breath against my ear which tingled slightly. I chuckled softly and nodded my head.
"I do..." I answered.
I looked up and looked at him. His neck was hanging down a bit so he could look at me. He kissed me gently on my lips before I realised that many eyes were watching us that we forgot about. In that few minutes, it just felt like it was the two of us and no one else.
Alexis cleared her throat before looking away from Chris and me. I quickly pulled away from the kiss and felt my cheeks burning slightly as I started to feel shy. Chris chuckled softly by seeing the sight of me and then turned himself around.
"You don't have to join us to fight against Lucifer. If you feel like your safety comes first, I will accept that." He said in a serious tone. I was looking at the rest who were looking at Chris.
Just a few seconds before this, he wasn't the team leader of a group that goes out for missions but frankly just a boy who was expressing his feelings towards me. My heart fluttered just knowing that he had this soft side for me.
"There was a reason why we were chosen to be Shadowhunters. I will not step down." The unknown boy said. I weakly smiled towards his way.
"Nor will I." Another voice said and I saw Charlotte standing up.
"Nor will I." Alexis said and I smiled at her warmly.
"Nor will I." I heard multiple times while the room started to fill up.
"Then we will fight until our last breath." I said as I looked at them.
"I know how much you have suffered because of me and how much you have lost but I promise you, I will do anything to stop him... Even if..." My voice trailed off and I looked at Chris who was already scared about what I meant with these words.
"Even if it destroys me in the process of it. I won't let Lucifer walk freely for another day. Today is when we make a end to this." I said softly.
Chris looked at me but didn't say anything but I already knew what he was thinking or what he would do if this would come true which was the exact reason why I couldn't go with him...
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Welcome back to another chapter! I hope you will enjoyed this chapter :)
What do you think might happen?