Nikki's POV
I felt my mind relax at the cold touch of the blade. It had been so long since I had done this. I promised myself I would never do it again. But the thing is, if I really meant it why didn't I throw them away.
The truth is I need this. I can't survive with out it.
My body begged for the first cut and just as I was about to about to add pressure to the razor I hesitated.
"What would Ben say?" A voice whispered in some far part of my consciousness. I took a sharp inhale.
"That I'm a monster." I whispered. "He would hate me. He would think I'm a disgrace... that I am an outcast. That I am a disgusting piece of filth that doesn't deserve to be alive." My vision got cloudy. I stared at the blade pressed up against my wrist. Ben's face flashed in my mind. And I threw the razor across the room.
I took shuddering breaths, trying to banish the tears and the memories but it was had with out the blood and pain bringing me back to reality. It had been a few months since the last time I did... before Toby... that was the last time I had ever even look at the razors.
I stumbled into my cabin. It seemed that the holed in the walls had been covered up already. I fell onto my bed and reached my hand into my nightstand. My hands felt a cold hard metallic surface with swirly designs that I ran my thumb over.
I gently grabbed the object in my palm and retracted my hand. In my hand there was now a small angel broach. I traced the complicated swirls and gems with my pointer finger, which was shaking.
"Mama." I whispered, my vision going misty again but I didn't allow my tears to spill. I softly placed it on my lap and reached back into my nightstand. I felt something that felt like the same material as the broach and I brought that out too, though it felt heavier than the broach.
The small mirror was now in the palm of my hand. I had forgotten all about it. I just threw it in my bed stand all those years ago and haven't looked at it since.
I looked into the mirror and saw my reflection staring back at me but then something weird happened. My face disappeared. And instead I was looking at a weird scene. I saw Dumbledore- the old one- sitting at a desk though from the angle I was at I watching from some where on his desk. Dumbledore was gazing off somewhere and subconsciously stroking a weird looking bright orange bird on his shoulder.
I stifled a gasp and placed the mirror on my pillow face down so he wouldn't see me.
"He knew. He knew it was me. And he didn't say anything." I whispered to myself getting angrier and angrier. This man knew me when I was a child over 75 years ago but said nothing when he saw me again. "Wait... if he's still alive... what about Tom... Tom must have been at least 40 years younger than Dumbledore... what if..."
My breathing got more and more shallow.
"No, I'm stronger than any mortal. Any old man unable to walk with age. He can't hurt me anymore. I'm safe. I'm okay." I muttered to myself but it didn't help a thing. I started gasping for air, trembling.
"Nikki!" A voice broke through my thoughts like a knife. There was a loud banging on the door.
"Leave me alone! Go away!!" I yelled at the voice, grabbing the first thing my hand could find and chucked it at the door, which just happened to be my alarm clock that was on top of my nightstand. The gears and plastic shattered on the ground from the force that it hit the door. I was filled with a new found rage, all my emotions fueling it.
So this is how Clarisse feels.
"Nick!? Let us in right now!! We just want to talk!!" Clarisse's voice shouted from behind the door.
"No!! I SAID GO AWAY!!" I screamed, throwing a black high-top converse at the door.
"Cuz!! If you don't let us in we'll let ourselves in!!" Thalia shouted back at me. I let out a cruel laugh.
"I'd like to see you try!!" I howled. I turned my hands so my palms were facing upwards and raised my hands up then began to lift my hands.
"PROTECT ME!"
Clarisse's POV
Shadows covered the Hades cabin.
A millisecond before it happened I felt the hairs on my arm stand up and I grabbed Annabeth and Thalia's hands and pulled them back roughly. We toppled to the ground just as darkness encased the cabin right where we stood. It was a good thing it was still pretty early- thanks to that old horse- or camp might have fallen into panic again.
"Oh little cuz, what are you doing?" Thalia muttered to herself.
"Hey? Nikki? Can you hear me?" She whispered pressing her left ear and cheek against the wall of shadows. "Please let us in. You don't have to talk. We don't have to talk. We just want to make sure you're okay. Please open up."
Silence.
Then, with a small shudder the shadows fell. Leaving the cabin unprotected again.
Thalia was the first one to move. Me and Annabeth stood there waiting to see what would happen. Thalia started taking small slow steps towards the house. When she finally made it to the door she softly rasped her knuckles against the door.
"Nikki?" She hummed. There was no response. No banging, no screaming. Thalia turned and beckoned us over, then turned back to the door. "We're going to come in alright?" Again no response. So she slowly turned the door knob. Me and Annabeth were holding our breaths. Then she pushed the door open.
But none of us were prepared for what we saw next.
Thals POV
"No..." I whispered. Tears gathered in my eyes but I just let them fall as I looked at the scene before me. Nikki was sat in the middle of the room. Shaking.
A small pool of blood beneath her wrist.
I ran over to her and held her close to me. I wrapped her in my arms and rocked her back and forth, silently crying myself. She was shaking horribly and I could feel her heart wrenching sobs.
"I-Io sono un mostro.....S-S-Sono troppo debole....M-Mi dispiace così tanto Ben....Mi dispiace così tanto Toby.....Sono troppo debole...." (I-I'm a monster..... I-I-I'm too weak.... I-I'm so sorry Ben.... I'm so sorry Toby..... I'm too weak....) She whispered between sobs, her voice cracking. I heard a small clink and looked down to see a blood covered razor on the floor, her bloody palm open.
Annabeth and Clarisse seemed to break out of the horrified daze they were in at the same moment. They both had tears running down their cheeks. They ran to my side.
"I have ambrosia in my pocket. It's going to be okay Nikki, please just hold on." Annabeth cried her voice shaking, as her trembling hands rummaged through her pockets.
"N-No. Nick, you idiot, what did you do?" Clarisse whispered, mostly to her self. She was sat in the pool of blood but she didn't seem to care. She was stroking Nikki's cheeks softly with her thumbs.
"Sono così dispiaciuto... Non sono abbastanza forte." (I'm so sorry... I'm not strong enough.)Nikki whispered. Annabeth found the ambrosia and split it in half.
"C-Clare, put this on the wound." Annabeth commanded shakily. Clarisse took the piece in Annabeth's outstretched hand, and did as she was told. Annabeth then grabbed her piece and softly placed it in Nikki's mouth.
We sat there in silence for what seemed like hours. Me cradling my baby cousin in my arms. Annabeth and Clarisse trembling next to us.
"I.. I'm sorry..." Nikki's hoarse voice broke through the silence. I could see Annabeth and Clarisse jump a little at the noise. "I didn't mean... I just wanted... I... I... " Nikki stammered, I felt her start to shake again and I just shushed her quietly and began to rock her again. Nikki melted into me and started to calm down.
There was a long silence again before I decided to break it.
"How long?" I asked softly.
"W-What?" Nikki replied but I knew she knew what I had meant.
"How long have you been doing this? I know this wasn't the first time you cut. How long?" I asked again. Nikki shuddered at the question.
An other long silence.
"Th-The first time I cut was when I ran away from Percy all those years ago. I had fallen into the labyrinth and I was... panicking. And Minos found me. And he said he would help me. So I asked him how to get rid of my... thoughts... and he said cutting helped... so I did." She whispered. "I cut and cut... until Toby... he found out about it and made me promise to stop.... But I couldn't. I broke my promise. I-I couldn't hold on. I lied. I'm a weak monster who doesn't even deserve to stand in the same cabin as Toby had! I don't even deserve to live at this point! I'm a monster! I-" She sobbed, but I had enough and gently clamped my hand over her mouth.
"No. That is such a lie Nikki and you know that. How many times do we have to remind you of how amazing you are. From what I heard Solace gave you the same speech yesterday. But you aren't a monster. You are definitely not weak. And you deserve to live a nice peaceful life more than any of us demigods do. And I'm not going to repeat all you've overcome like Solace did but I do need you to know that you are loved. No matter what you do you'll always be loved by us. Me. Percy. Jason. Annabeth. Reyna. Hazel. Clarisse. Leo. Frank. And dare I even say Solace." I told her in a warm tone, slowly, hoping some of the words might penetrate her mind.
"And I know how horrible this week has been for you. I know that it was completely and utterly evil to make you do this quest, especially since none of us have recovered from the war yet. Then to be furtherly hurt within your quest, both physically and emotionally. Then drugged by your boyfriend then having to have your heart broken because of it. It's obvious the fates hate you a lot more the the typical demigod."
"Gee thanks for reminding me." Nikki muttered. I chuckled, glad to see her sarcasm return. "And my heart wasn't broken. I'm fine. I don't need Solace. I'm perfectly... fine." She assured me but it sounded like she was trying to convince herself.
"Sure little cuz." I teased. "But what I meant was you have it rough, but you also have a lot of people you are here for you. Who you can come to just to vent, cry, scream, spar, or even just enjoy each others company in silence. Just please, don't do this again Nikki. I can't loose anyone else. I don't want to come in and find you dead on the ground because you shut yourself off from everyone like you always do. Because then I don't know what I'd do. But I know for a fact that all of our hearts would shatter, we would blame ourselves, and joining you may seem like a good option." I whispered bluntly, but still feeling the warm tears on my cheeks. Nikki shuddered in my arms and I could tell I finally got through to her. She didn't say anything. She just nodded silently.
"Nikki?" Annabeth asked softly, her voice quivering. "Were you trying to... kill yourself? Because you- you cut a vein. And of course it could have been on accident but the angle and the amount of pressure applied to the blade suggest that... it wasn't just an accident."
Silence.
"Let's talk about something else right now, okay? Now, we are going to talk about this. But.... not now." I told all of them not wanting to discuss this further at the moment.
There was no response to my statement so I took that as an unspoken agreement.
"So, Nikki, we came here to talk about your prophecy. We need to make a plan so you can..." I trailed off not really wanting to voice it but apparently Nikki had no problem with it.
"Not die a horrible and gruesome death?" She offered. I chuckled.
"Sure. Now, Annie, if you would, I think you're the only person here who knows how to decipher a prophecy soo..."I hinted. Annabeth looked a little zoned out but she blinked a couple times then nodded.
"A-alright." She started shakily, "Um as I was saying before the first two stanzas conclude that Nikki is going to the wizarding world and has to face Moldy Shorts. She has to do what Hecate quickly or something bad will happen. Then Solace has to come after she figures out the trial of this year- indicating she will need another prophecy after this year- and the trial will most likely be three challenges she must win- which indicated is will be a competition of some sort." Annie shot out quickly.
I saw something behind her eyes and I heard the tone of her voice change ever so slightly so I could now tell she was in her plan-mode. After knowing her for 10 years I learnt to pick up on somethings.
"But what I don't understand is the third stanza. I mean Solace sucks and is an evil little piece of trash doesn't mean that he's evil evil. He can't be the most evil of his race, I mean Hitler was a demigod for Zeus sake! Which leads me to think there was someone before Solace... wait, didn't you like Percy though? No, Seaweed brain is stupid not evil." Annie laughed a little but I could hear the hesitation in her voice. Why would she hesitate? My cousin has saved the entire world! Twice! He's not evil! But I could also see her shudder as if recalling a bad memory. What happened between them?
"i mean, unless.. No... I don't know... I can't even tell anymore... what if-" Annabeth started a little frantically, rambling, her eyes getting wider by the second.
"No." Nikki's voice cut her off. Her voice still sounded scratchy but she managed. Nikki cautiously pushed herself up off me and stoop up, dusting invisible dust off her skinny jeans, then she walked away toward her bed and sat.
We waited for her to continue but her eyes looked misty and far away. I sighed, this was a very common occurrence with demigods, our ADHD not allowing us to stay on one subject for long time. I especially had to deal with it being the leader of a group of mainly demigods with horrible ADHD having a hard time listening to my battle plans. There was this one time when I was lecturing and Brooklynn actually fell asleep and we did the whip cream and feather prank of her after Lily and Anaya drew on her face with a sharpie, it was hilarious. Oh, but Lady Artemis decided it was a good time to check on her hunters and let me just say it took a lot of explaining on why Brooklynn had a giant pineapple drawn on her entire face and why she was also covered in whip cream. Ha! You should have seen the look on her face! But she got Lily and Anaya back by attacking them with silly string, salsa, and strawberries- don't ask. Oh and there was this one time- wait... what was I even talking about? Ugh! Curse ADHD!
It seemed like I wasn't the only one who spaced out. I looked at Annie. Her eyes were wide and she was trembling a little, I could tell she was thinking about Tartarus. I looked at Clarisse and she was smiling faintly, and a heard a small whisper from her parted lips: "Shh little Chuckie, auntie Clare will always protect you." I then looked over at Nikki who had tears swimming in her eyes and she was also trembling but after all the horrible things that happened to her I couldn't even tell if she was thinking about Tartarus or something worse.
"Hey Nikki?" I whispered and everyone's eyes shot to me, jumping at the sudden sound. Nikki's head jerked up and she looked at me as if asking why I said her name. "You were saying..."
"Oh." She muttered. "Y-Yeah I never loved Percy." She snorted. "It was more like a delusional infatuation. It was more like an idol kinda. He seemed like a super hero to me when I was little, like a celebrity crush. But of course now he's just a super idiot." Nikki rolled her eyes and I couldn't help but laugh in agreement.
"You know it." Annie chuckled. "But then who...?"
Everyone was looking at Nikki now, who was looking at a small shiny thing in her palm that I couldn't make out, refusing to look at any of us.
After a long silence I decided to push her on, which was dangerous considering it was the daughter of Hades we were talking about.
"Cus? Did it have something to do with why you blacked out after you heard the prophecy? Was... was your first love this 'Tommy' boy?" I asked hesitantly. It went quiet for a long time, until finally she nodded slowly.
"D...Do you want to tell us about him?" I asked softly knowing I was treading in deep waters. Again that silence. This had to have been like the 10th time.
"It was before the Lotus Casino." Nikki's voice voice broke through the silence, we stared at her urging her on with our eyes. "T-Towards the end of the second world war. After my mother was killed by... Zeus." I felt a stab of guilt at this but I didn't stop her. "And my father was angry with me and... Ben... because of it. I think he blamed us. So he dipped us in the Lethe and threw us into an orphanage across the sea in England. And there was a boy. Tom Riddle. We became friends, he was the first friend I had memories of. So we were very close.
But he developed... feelings. He told me he l-loved me. And I guess I loved him too but not in that way. But he scared me. He had... powers. He could teleport, talk to snakes, hurt people. He threatened to kill Ben if I didn't do what he said. He made me 'marry' him, then he shoving his disgusting tongue down my throat every night for months.
A bunch of bad stuff happened but then the principle dude of the magic school place that I have to go to came. He said Tom was a wizard and took him away. But he saw what Tom had done to me and he told me to contact him with this mirror thingy if he hurt me again. I think he knew I was a demigod, he's a son of Hecate. But we got taken to the Casino before Tom could do anything." Nikki finished. I noticed that her hands were shaking slightly but just slightly, barely noticeable, but still shaking nonetheless. She seemed to be gaining control of her emotions again, I could almost see her putting up her barriers once more.
I felt anger bubble up in me and I clenched my fists at yet an other reason for me to hate males. I was prepared to go ind this old man and beat him senseless or at the very least spit on his grave. But before I could start yelling Annabeth said something.
"What was his name? The evil magic mortal guy?" She shot out quickly. I looked at her with a confused expression on my face as did Clarisse who had been shaking with anger a few seconds prior.
"Uh... Voldy... Voldo... Voolalid..." Nikki attempted to remember, her eyebrows were crunched in confusion. "Wait what?... Oh.... Thanks I guess- I mean please except my gratitude Lady Hecate." She covered up quickly, here eyes far away again.
"Uh cus?" I asked uncertainly. Had she gone into a flash back? When did she talk to Hecate? Was she alright?
"Oh sorry. I have a goddess in my head. Um, she said his name was Voldamold- huh? Oh I mean Voldemort." Nikki told Annabeth. A goddess in her head? Eh, I've heard weirder.
"Voldemort... Voldemort..." Annie whispered repeating the name slowly. She then got out her small notebook from her pocket and started jotting down notes.
"And what did you say the boy's middle name was?" Her voice called out after a few minutes.
"Uh I didn't. I can't really remember... uh..." Nikki's eyebrows furrowed again. She winced as if it was hard to reach that far back. I could understand, I mean not completely, but sometimes it hurt to try remember times from before my tree incident. A lot had happened since then, and I guess even more had happened for Nikki since the 1930's. "M-Ma....Marvolin? Mar....Marvel?..." She muttered.
"Marvolo?" Annabeth asked quietly. This got Nikki's attention as she perked up.
"Yeah! That's it! Wait... But how?" Nikki looked confused as how Annie knew the middle name of her childhood terror, and to be honest so was I.
"Annie? How did you know that?" I asked her, with an eyebrow raised. Her eyes were misty. She ignored me and continued to write on her notebook.
"No.. This can't be... No..." She whispered. Then she looked up at Nikki with a saddened look in her eyes. "Your first love's name was Tom Marvolo Riddle?" Annie asked Nikki sounding grim. Nikki nodded hesitantly still looking confused. "Sorta, I guess."
"And the evil immortal wizard you have to kill is called Lord Voldemort?" Annie asked in the same tone.
"I think so. I mean I don't know about the 'lord' part but he is called Voldemort, yes." Nikki told her. Annabeth sighed, then ripped out the page of her notebook.
"Thals. You need to see this." She said quietly and handed it to me. I took it in my hand and looked at it. Then gasped.
"Tom Riddle- Wizard- Evil
Voldemort- Wizard- Evil
Tom Riddle- Extra i,d
_ o l d e m _ r t - Needs V,O
??? Coincidence???
Middle name starts with: Marv___
Tom Marv__ Riddle - Extra "m, a, r, i, d" ___
V o l d m _ r t - Needs "o" |
"I am Voldemort?" Still extra r d <--
Voldemort- Immortal, Powerful, Evil, Power-hungry........ So basically a god .... a god....LORD
"I am Lord Voldemort?!?!?" - Still needs l, o, o
Marvloo?
Marvolo?
T O M M A R V O L O R I D D L E
I A M L O R D V O L D E M O R T "
I didn't get most of the notes but I did get the last part.
"No... Annie, this is bad. This is really bad." I muttered, looking up at Annie who's eyes held as much sadness as they did when she told me Percy had gone missing. Except this was worse. A lot worse.
Nikki couldn't do this. She was having panic attacks just hearing his name, even with the knowledge that he was either an old man or 6 feet under. Normally I would never doubt the abilities of the daughter of Hades but I knew this would be too much for her.
"What is it?" Nikki asked looking confused. Me and Annie looked at each other and made a silent agreement.
"We'll tell you later." I reassured her with a smile though it felt fake on my face.
We would tell her later. When she was ready. But for the time being...
Nobody needed to know.
(THE REYNOLD'S PAMPLET!)
OH MY GODS I JUST HAD THE BIGGEST HEART ATTACK OFF ALL TIME!!
So like I was finishing this, right? And as I went to the next paragraph it did this weird thing and highlighted the whole thing and me being the idiot I am automatically pressed delete. So needless to say I screamed and pressed back a bunch of times which made me leave and when I went back on it was normal because it didn't save the delete version just yet so I was happy.
*End story time*
*Start apologizing for being lazy time*
I AM SO SORRY PEOPLE!!
Okay Ik its been like a month and I'm super sorry I am not going to make excuses I was just being lazy. Plus I didn't even make a long or useful chapter so I am very very sorry. But also....
TYSM!!! 1K VEIWSS!!! YAY!!!!!!
This is amaZHANG thank everyone so so so so so so so so much!!!! This is literally the best thing ever!! YAY!!!
Okay this AN is getting really long but thank you so much peoples!! I will try to shoot out more chapters, since I'm probably goign to be home more because I just ot tested for COVID bc I was feeling dead. And it wasn't flu or strep so it's probably rona so that sucks. And to everyone who thinks thats great bc u get to stay home.. its not.
I have to do a bunch of virtual work thats super jumbled and messed up and sucky plus I feel like I just got run over by a truck and thrown in Tartarus. And I have to be quarantined and all of that crap and I had to miss a wedding I really wanted to go to and a bunch of other stuff so everything is dead.
Okay I'm done ranting and being dramatic. Thank you all so much you have no idea what 1k veiws means to me. Luv u all so much!
PotatoFishees 🐟🐟🐟