how many times have I been left unsatisfied?
how many years of golden moments passed me by?
how many moments that I could have been alive
in which I stabbed my golden heart and again died?
how many more times will this leave me unsatisfied?
how many more breaths taken while I die inside?
how much more suppression can I take?
how much self-expression would I make
if I was alive again?
how many times will this life leave me unsatisfied?
will your touch forevermore be unwelcome?
if all the oxygen I take leaves me breathless while I fake
being happy here, am I the lie?
darling beauty, you have shown me all my hidden sides
but is this it? am I doomed to be a parasite
with self-toxic tendencies, my own tongue's acidities
and these shivers that can't quite seem to go away?
is this more, or is this all that I can take?
it's only in my blood to fee that I should fake
when shapeshifting rules me out, and my towers all crash down,
I don't believe that I should be the one to weep
isn't it them?
didn't they lose me?
did it ever dawn?
that I had died and I also had to lose me
how many times have I been left unsatisfied?
these phantom touches, burning torches, and late nights
I can't bear take it all so lightly anymore
one more step closer, and I could walk out the door
but did I imagine it?
am I pretending this?
was it all meant to go wrong?
will they leave me, then?
voices quickening
there doesn't seem to be any more
I'm build for so much more than this life can account for,
how am I supposed to know what I am meant for
when there's nothing I adore?
can someone make my heart race,
can someone break my heartbreak?
I am tired of all this nothing,
if it's a dream, then wake me up