The childish banters filled the empty corridor of the orphanage’s top floor and the sound did little to placate the qualms of the boy whom the adults called ‘new arrival’. He had a name, of course; then again, he did not mind that they failed to remember it. After all, he was just another face passing through another temporary home.
“You will be staying in the room at the end of the hall, Ji” – the bespectacled woman pulled out her notebook to do a cursory check on his information – “Ji Won.”
The child nodded sluggishly, then turned his attention back to the long passageway ahead of him. He squinted a bit until his gaze found the place the social worker was pertaining to.
“You will be sharing it with another boy,” she mentioned as they walked towards the room in question. “He’s kind of quiet and usually keeps to himself – like you – so I think you two will get along just fine.”
Ji Won’s response was to nod again, although the truth was that he did not really care about the type of person he would be sharing the room with. The only thing that mattered to him was that they provided him food three times a day, a bed to sleep in at night, and a roof above his head.
They reached the said room in no time and from the corner of his eye, Ji Won saw the woman jot something on a piece of document. He stole a hasty glance at the paper before it was stashed inside her bag.
Room: 410
Date of Arrival: September 25, 2013
“Hyun Sik, this is Ji Won,” the social worker told the boy who happened to be the room’s current tenant. “He will be staying here with you starting today.”
The boy the woman addressed as Hyun Sik did not bother to look up from where he sat at the edge of the bed. Instead, he simply gave a slight nod while he continued reading.
Something was telling Ji Won at that moment that Hyun Sik was different – he just couldn’t put his finger on it yet.
“A pleasure to meet you, Ji Won,” Hyun Sik said after an awkward pause. “Please feel free to occupy the other bed.”
The woman cleared her throat, obviously uneasy for some reason, then exclaimed a little too brightly, “Alright! I will leave you boys alone so you can get some rest or get acquainted with each other, yes?”
When the woman closed the door, Ji Won took tentative steps towards the bed across Hyun Sik’s. He sat on it and began to take out his few belongings from his knapsack, carefully folding the clothes before depositing them inside the small cabinet by the door.
As he pushed himself up on tiptoes to place the towels on the top shelf, his roommate spoke out of the blue, making him jump.
“How old are you, Ji Won?” Hyun Sik asked, still somewhat lazily browsing through the novel in his hands.
Ji Won tilted his head to the side in order to catch a glimpse of the boy.
“Six,” he answered.
Hyun Sik sighed before turning a page, then noted with subtle chagrin, “Miss Kang always gets the ages wrong. She previously informed me that a chingu was coming.”
“Oh, okay,” Ji Won mumbled. “Well… People always said that I was tall for my age.”
He closed the door of the dresser and traced his steps back to the bed, lifting both of his feet up on the mattress. He moved right away, pushing himself back with his skinny legs until he was sitting upright against the wall.
From his current vantage point, he could distinguish what his roommate looked like: chubby cheeks, two protruding front teeth, and a perfect bowl cut.
“What about you, Hyun Sik?” he meekly muttered his question shortly after. “How old are you?”
“Ten.”
“You don’t look like you’re ten.”
In the second that followed, Ji Won saw the corner of Hyun Sik’s lips curve up a bit as he huffed at his comment.
“It is certainly not the first time I heard that observation,” Hyun Sik mused as he casually proceeded with his business, his every movement hinting at an air of conceit. “But, I am ten – for all intents and purposes. Therefore, you better call me ‘hyung’ moving forward.”
In the subsequent months, Ji Won got used to the comfortable civility between him and Hyun Sik. It gave him relief that the latter not once pressed for details about his origin, yet the peculiar nonchalance of his roommate caused him to walk on eggshells every day. Whenever he would see the older boy rather occupied with another book (a classic piece of literature, more often than not), he would busy himself with other activities outside or pretend to be asleep. Needless to say, the somber look in Hyun Sik’s face while reading somehow always kept Ji Won on his toes.
“You can do your chores here the room, Ji Won. I actually won’t mind,” Hyun Sik told him one morning at the orphanage’s dining hall over breakfast. “Half of it is yours anyway.”
Although wary, Ji Won nodded in acknowledgment. Nonetheless, he still maintained a considerable distance.
That gap between them somewhat dissolved on a fateful evening in the last week of winter. Ji Won woke up from a bad dream and luckily, he was able to come to his senses before his nightmare paralyzed him, albeit trembling and sweaty from struggling against a figment of his dark past.
Seeing that he forgot to replenish the tall jug at the bedside table, he forced himself to rise and head down to the kitchen.
He downed three glasses of cold water with high expectations that it would wash the remnant fear to no avail. His hands were still shaking and the incessant pounding in his chest was far from slowing down. He clutched at the damp fabric of his cloth, both eyes squeezed shut as he prayed for the memories to go away.
“What are you doing here?” a familiar, lethargic voice asked out of nowhere.
Ji Won gasped loudly, his eyes flying open once again as he searched for the person who just spoke. He found the mysterious inquisitor right away, standing near the door that led to the backyard.
“Hyung,” he managed to say through his chapped lips.
“You should not be downstairs at this hour, Ji Won,” Hyun Sik pointed out as he curiously tilted his head to the side. “It is way past your bedtime.”
“Hyung, I… I just…” Ji Won stuttered, his fingers fidgeting on the hem of his oversized shirt that doubled as a pajama. “I was thirsty.”
“Another bad dream, I suppose?”
“How did you know?”
Hyun Sik sauntered towards the table, both hands digging at each of the pockets of his baggy pants, and stopped to stand right across Ji Won. He perched his elbows up on the back of a chair and rested his chin on his laced fingers, the pendant light that hung above them casting an ominous shadow on his supposedly youthful face.
“What happened to you was never your fault, Ji Won,” he reminded the younger boy. “Until you come to accept that, the nightmares will continue to chase after you.”
The words of Hyun Sik lingered between them, filling in the consequential silence that somehow burdened the dark hall. Ji Won always considered this mysterious hyung to be smart – with all those hours spent on reading – but he gets baffled how sometimes, his thoughts seemed to belong to someone else.
As if Hyun Sik sensed what was going on in the seven year-old’s mind, he straightened up and said, “Come on now before somebody tells on us.”
Thirty minutes later, Ji Won lay on his bed wide awake and was playing catch with himself, the force of his throws measured so that the tattered baseball didn’t reach the ceiling. He easily found his rhythm, launching it in the air with his right hand and catching it with his left over and over to wear himself out until he was drowsy. Even so, from time to time, he stole sideway glances to see what his roommate was up to.
Hyun Sik was sitting by the window as usual, engrossed in another book with a title that was too complicated for a ten year-old to read. They didn’t have desk lamps and they were not allowed to turn the lights back on just in case the administrator of the orphanage decided to do midnight rounds, so he only took advantage of the brightness of the full moon outside. Ji Won could not help but wonder if the story was captivating enough for his roommate to endure the predicament instead of resuming the activity the next morning.
His curiosity got the better of him afterwards, although Hyun Sik was faster to articulate the question he was still phrasing in his head.
“Would you like to know what this book is all about?” Hyun Sik asked, to which Ji Won nodded in affirmation.
Hyun Sik then gestured Ji Won to come closer, waiting for the latter to settle comfortably at the foot of his bed before he commenced with his storytelling. As always, the older of the two boys stuck his nose high up in the air and scanned the passages meticulously with his uncharacteristically astute eyes.
“Long ago, at a time when the kingdom of Joseon was ruled by influence, conspiracy, and superstition, there lived a boy who was gifted with the visions of the future,” he narrated. “The people in their humble village called him a prophet, a seer, an oracle… everything they could think of to flatter him and warrant a confirmation of a forthcoming good fortune.”
“He predicted a sudden change in weather, the typhoons, the dry spells. He was able to foresee the perfect timing for the crops to be planted and harvested and the worst time for boats to sail to sea.”
“The townsfolks thought that he was the little deliverer – the child the heavens favored to guarantee the prosperity of their land.”
“To the boy, however, he was nothing but a regular eight year-old who happened to see previews of the things to come and relayed it to the people in warning. He did not care about the adulation they were showering him with – it was a bother, if he were to be honest,” he said. “All that mattered to him was that the farmers, the fishermen, the elders, and children of the community were safe and well because being an abandoned son of some unknown and heartless parents, they were the only family he had.”
“One day, in the middle of a feast, a ghastly picture of deserted streets flashed in his mind. Huts were being burnt to ashes, the towering flames turning the evening sky into a blazing sunset,” he recounted grimly. “Before him was a sea of familiar faces hysterically weeping; behind him was the town square wherein tens, hundreds of lifeless bodies were assembled. The horrendous sight shook him to the core and the lingering scent of the disposed corpses made his head spin so much so that he literally had to cover his mouth to prevent himself from spewing out the contents of his gut.”
“The people started to wonder what kind of dreadful premonition caused his face to be drained of color. In all those years witnessing him dazed upon sensing a foreboding, they had never seen him this perturbed.”
“‘Is there an imminent calamity we should prepare for?’”
“‘Is there a forthcoming pestilence of livestock?’”
“‘Is there a war looming on the horizon?’”
“‘Everyone!’ he bellowed, his voice echoing over the confused chatter of the people around him. ‘Seek for the mercy of the deities above us for death shall pay our town a visit.’”
“The plague came in the form of an unknown disease that robbed parents of their children and likewise left many kids orphaned – and it came a bit too quickly and a bit too soon,” he proceeded to tell his tale. “It moved like a thief in the night, ravaging one household after another to pilfer a life or two or more at a pace that was devastatingly overwhelming.”
“The contagion went out of control despite all the efforts of the government and the local health ministry. Eventually, they decided to withdraw all medical aides and lock the small community down. Their hopelessness, frustration, and shame led them to turn their backs on their people.”
“Per official documents, no such illness existed at that time and no lives were reaped in that small village.”
“As if seeing the realization of his prophecy was not enough, the forewarnings persistently manifested in the boy’s consciousness every single day. He saw images of the people who were about to succumb to the ailment, he heard the pleas and cries of the casualties while they suffered, he felt the stabbing pain of grief of their families,” he continued. “And it came to a point wherein he refused to sleep in dire hope that the revelations would stop. Nevertheless, the visions were relentless in torturing him and in his young mind, there was only one way to put an end to it.”
“He secretly left his home one sunset in autumn and traversed the path to the forest. With a shard of china on his hand and a vacant stare, he walked deeper into the woods as the skies grew darker until he reached a clearing.”
“He found a huge rock that he could sit upon and after several minutes of going through the plan in his head, he lifted the quivering hand that held the fragment of glass and pointed it towards his line of sight.”
“‘What are you doing?’ someone asked just as he was about to plunge the sharp piece in his grasp.”
“The boy looked around and saw a tall man – probably in his twenties or thirties – leaning on a tree. He was lean with sinewy limbs, a lethargic demeanor, full lips with both corners turned down in apparent disapproval, and a high and narrow nose that depicted sheer haughtiness and superiority even in his youth. The magnificent hanbok he was clothed with only emphasized that he was way above the boy’s social class.”
“It was not the unannounced presence of the man that took the boy aback, but those eyes,” he stated. “The man had a pair of shrewd, prominent eyes with irises in the color of ash.”
“‘Do you really believe that making yourself blind would save you from your misery?’ the man threw his question without moving away from his spot a few feet away from the child.”
“The boy nodded without giving it much thought and his meek response elicited a humorless laughter from the elder man.”
“‘That’s silly, little one,’ the man said. ‘The premonitions would come even if you take your eyeballs out of their sockets.’”
“‘Why, ahjussi?’ the boy demanded through the tears that began gushing down his pale cheeks. ‘Why must I endure this torment?’”
“The man rose upright to face the child and answered, ‘That’s your gift. The heavens bestowed it upon you because you were born with a strong desire to help others and keep them out of harm’s way. It’s a blessing from the gods.’”
“‘And a curse,’ the boy hastily added with a hint of contempt in his tone.”
“His insolence caused the tall man’s knowing eyes to narrow into slits and the scowl in his face to become more pronounced.”
“‘You can say that, too,’ the man agreed dispassionately as he crouched in front of the boy. ‘Regardless, it is yours.’”
“‘What if I do not want it?’”
“‘What makes you presume that you have a say in this?’”
“The child appeared as if he was about to say something, only to hold back when he realized that he did not have a rebuttal anyway.”
“‘My child, you should learn that life is a cycle,’ the man told the boy. ‘Birth, death, and the years of living in between – all these three are important, for one will not exist without the other.’”
“‘Mortals celebrate birth and everything that follows, yet they detest death,’ he explained further. ‘They are afraid to confront the end because they are not sure whether or not they have started living in the first place. There’s always that feeling of being disappointed over something they have not done yet, something they have not said yet.”
“In the end, it all comes down to regret.’”
“The child shook his head and murmured, ‘No, ahjussi. I cannot… I cannot accept that a lot of the people who treated an outcast like me as one of their own will die on my watch.’”
“‘Death is as non-negotiable as birth, my boy,’ he concluded. ‘Young, old, rich, poor – it does not discriminate. It takes what has been given and paves way for a fresh beginning. You will have to come to terms with that.’”
“‘What if I do not want to?’”
“‘Oh, you will. Maybe not now, but in due course, you will.’”
“‘How do you know that?’ the boy enquired, the quiver in his voice betraying the disconcertion brewing in his chest.”
“‘Because I am the god who holds power over that shunned facet of life,’ the man replied. ‘I was the one who chose you to bear that blessing and curse and I am also the one who shall lead you onto your next journey.’”
And then, silence befell the room.
“What happened next?” Ji Won asked after Hyun Sik paused from his storytelling.
“That’s it,” Hyun Sik shrugged.
“That’s it?” Ji Won repeated. “What about the next journey, hyung? What was it? Where did they go?”
Hyun Sik subtly rolled his eyes at the younger boy and sighed, “Let’s save that for tomorrow night, Ji Won. For now, I suggest that you put your questions aside and sleep. Tomorrow might bring you something better than the conclusion of this tale.”
Ji Won never heard the rest of the story because in the morning, he was summoned by Miss Kang in her office to meet the person who can provide him a place he could finally call ‘home’.
“Dad?” he called out to a dark alley on a late afternoon fifteen years later. “Is that you?”
A man who was in the middle of a hushed conversation with a child turned instinctively.
“Ji Won,” Tae Pyung mumbled as his son stepped into the shadows of the narrow street.
“What are you doing here?” Ji Won asked as he approached his father. “I thought you were at –”
His words faded to nothingness when he saw the person standing beside his father. A distinct bowl cut, a slight overbite, and a pair of puffed cheeks – everything about the boy was strangely familiar.
Tae Pyung, prepared with his customary, fabricated introduction of his little acquaintance, promptly regained his composure and said, “Ji Won, this is –”
“Hyung,” Ji Won managed to utter.
The boy he knew from his childhood as Hyun Sik smiled and greeted him, “It’s a pleasure to see you again, Kim Ji Won. Fate must have found it amusing to bring us together after a very long time.”
“What? No, no…” Ji Won stammered in disbelief. “This is impossible – this doesn’t make any sense! I don’t believe it...”
“Oh, you will. Maybe not now, but if you stay with us until dinner, you will,” Death mused. “Or at least until I am able to finish telling you that bedtime story. I owe you the ending after all.”
With everything that he heard and saw a couple of minutes ago, Ji Won was already dumbfounded enough to even notice that two blocks away from where they stood, the siren of an ambulance wailed as an emergency response unit raced to rescue a man who fell from the ninth floor of a mid-rise apartment building.
—
Photo by Brandi Redd on Unsplash