"Oh my god." I say to myself, "Wow, you're bendy aren't you?" I ask the woman in front of me who is getting some, apparently, great morning sex.
What? The guys were getting boring with all the sleeping they were doing so I drifted into some other buildings for entertainment. Sue me. Relationships fascinate me honestly. Doesn't matter if it's a human or paranormal involved, shit is as fascinating as it is infuriating. Not only do I watch as people hurt the ones that love them but I also watch as people throw love away through not communicating or because they're not willing to put in the work to keep it.
I swear when I become corporeal I will do whatever it takes to get some love. I haven't gone 40 years of my life without any contact from another being for nothing. I will get love and I will fucking cherish it. Same goes for orgasms. Love is amazing and beautiful and I've watched some pretty breathtaking love stories unfold through the years and I want something like that but until that happens I would settle for an orgasm or twenty. With all that love though I've also seen a lot of sex. Bad sex, good sex, angry sex, celebratory sex, group sex, and any other kind of sex you can think of. Remember when I said once you're alone for long enough the only moral compass that matters is your own? Yeah this is one of those situations. Sex is fascinating to watch when no one knows you're watching. It's beautiful and raw and I want it. The only reason I don't watch the guys do that stuff is because I'm not gonna lie, it hurts.
I want to be corporeal more than anything. These men have pretty much kept me alive for 5 years and I have grown attached to them. I want to be the woman they give their love and time to and it hurts to watch them be intimate with other women. The worst thing is I can't even be jealous because to them I don't even exist and even if I wanted to stop them I couldn't and wouldn't. If they needed another woman to be happy I'd look the other way because their happiness means more to me than anything, they did save me from a complete fade after all. I also literally couldn't stop them if they wanted to love another woman. No body, remember?
"Hey there fellow veil dweller!" I wave at the ghost in this couple's apartment.
I keep my smile on but, like usual, the ghost doesn't answer. I think it's because I'm not actually in the veil or the living world. Like I'm in the veil but it's almost like the space between the veil and humanity. I watch ghost's talk and mingle with each other but none of them can see or hear me, just like people on the living side. I groan and look away from the ghost, looking back at the couple just as they reach their most frenzied state. He does this thing where he flips her over, grabs her hair, and starts pounding into her from behind and holy shit... I want that. It's almost like neither one of them have any sort of semblance of thought, they simply do whatever their bodies tell them to do in order to chase this mysterious orgasm feeling. It's riveting to watch, even if it is in a creepy stalker way.
I've heard women talk about sex to each other a lot. Women tend to be more informative in this area than men do. There are a lot of disappointed women human side, by the way. Apparently, not a lot of human men are good at helping women achieve a climax but they're great at getting their own. I roll my eyes, no sex with humans for me when I get to be corporeal, ain't nobody have time for that. Supernatural men are the way to go. Even if it's just a one night stand most supernaturals have a base need to please the female they're with. I noticed that, in the supernatural world overall, there are significantly less women than men. I'm not sure why that is but it's because of that I've learned multiple partners is common in this world which is good because when I'm able to get out of this weird pseudo-veil world I have exactly three goals to achieve:
1. Become a real girl
2. Find some chocolate
3. Make the men I've been following around fall in love with me
Chocolate is before making my guys fall in love with me because let's be realistic, it's the one I'm going to be able to achieve first. In the human world multiple partners was taboo for a long time and that's what worried me the most when I first started growing attached to these men. I couldn't possibly pick one so learning of the paranormal tendency to multiple partners I was super relieved. My few excursions into the human side of things though has shown me that things are changing on that side. Open relationships and polyamory is become more and more accepted, thank Nyx.
I float back into my guys apartment to see what they're up to and I'm delighted to find them mid training session. Almost every day they train in this giant gymnasium of sorts that's in their building and I love watching it. Forrest isn't as large as Drazik but he's just as ferocious. They both are no holds barred kind of fighters. Their tactic is to hit once and hit hard. Use brute strength to incapacitate your opponent. It usually works unless they're sparring each other. They're very equal fighters so their fights tend to be drawn out until one of them can figure out how to take the other down. It's exhausting for them but I can tell they love it. I float over to them.
"Money is on Drazik since he was able to get some more sleep last night." I tell them both, smiling as I float over to Kieran and Leandre.
Kieran is slightly shorter and more compact than Leandre but they're fighting styles are like oil and water. Kieran is incredibly graceful and lithe, dodging hits left and right. I've noticed that Kieran is a more astute knife wielder than fist thrower. He can hit no problem but his weapon of choice will always be knives. He always has at least three strapped to him at all times. One when he's asleep. What can I say? My man is paranoid for some reason and I will find out that reason eventually.
While Kieran is fluid like water, dodging in and out while looking for openings to stick a knife in you, Leandre is fluid like oil. He is very good at dodging but he has more weight and bulk to him, making it not as seamless as Kieran's movements. They both have a hell of a time bringing the other one down though. Kieran dodges and weaves while getting a few hits in Leandre does the same. They're game is the same, tire your opponent out then go for the kill. Simple but takes more time than the other three guys' tactics. Leandre also has a weapon of choice. He wields two small axes that sit in a brace on his back.
Meanwhile Emerson watches from the sidelines, spinning his bo staff. I smile and bring my own bo staff into being, spinning it like he does. I've spent five years watching and learning from him. He's the same height as Kieran but he's the least bulky of them all. I smile, thinking of the hilarity of that. Emerson could kick all of their asses in under thirty seconds if he tried. He's an elf after all. Granted I'm still not sure if there are different types of elves or maybe half elves? I don't know I just go off of his pointy ears and the fact that the guys sometimes call him "elf" as a sort of of nickname.
His lithe grace is something to behold as he works his way through stances with the bo staff. I copy his movements, meeting him strike for strike. I know I'm not actually striking or blocking him but it's nice to at least feel somewhat included, even if he doesn't know I'm here.
A cell phone rings and I look over as Forrest breaks off his sparring with Drazik and answers his phone. The others keep going while Drazik finds his water bottle, waiting for Forrest to return. While I wait for everyone to figure their shit out I look down and realize I'm still in the onesie from last night. Laughing I quickly change into a pair of black leggings with pockets up the sides, a flowy sage green tank top, and a black leather jacket with matching combat boots.
I try to stick to a black wardrobe mainly as I have no idea what my face looks like. I know I have long black wavy hair that reaches my lower back but that's about it. I can't tell the true tone of my skin even due to the slight opaqueness of my body. I also can't look in a mirror because, surprise surprise, I can't be seen through a mirror. Another reason I can't wait to be corporeal.
"Okay guys let's finish up, we have high magic counsel business to attend to." Forrest tells the other guys.
I really hate the high magic counsel. Every time I'm there I get a weird crawling feeling that I can't seem to shake. The counsel is supposedly supposed to represent all of the magical species living in this realm. Which I think is hilarious because it's really just made up of a bunch of lazy, creepy, old witches and warlocks. A few other breeds have tried to get on the counsel but are, according to my guys, always turned away for a lack of magical ability. Total bullshit. They just don't want to give up any of their power, or so the guys say, and I agree with them.
Because of this most of the other breeds have their own counsels of sorts for conflicts within the breed, the high magic counsel is only called in when there is a conflict between breeds that can't be settled between their individual counsels. I never have a problem going with them to the shifter, vampire, fae, demon, or any other breed counsel, but I hate the holier than thou nut sacks that are on that damn "high magic" counsel.
It doesn't take long before all the men are showered and presentable, ready to head out. I look over all of the men and take in their beauty as a whole. Forrest's clean cut and professional look, Drazik's rugged appearance that screams does it look like I give a fuck about what you think of me?, Emerson's minimalistic yet elegant beauty, Kieran's subtly unique style that shows off his character, and Leandre's nordic look that is built for both comfort and style.
"You guys are fucking hot." I tell them with zero shame. Even if they could hear me, there would be no shame involved because it's true. They're hot as hell. I'm pretty sure even if you were blind you could tell how attractive they are just by the auras they give off.
"What is this meeting for?" Leandre asks in his rich baritone that has a slight accent to it I've never been able to place.
"They want a status report on our progress regarding our current mission." Forrest tells them, his deep voice carrying across the room.
"How much do we want to divulge?" Drazik asks.
Forrest turns to Emerson, "Anything else you've found out? Anything you want to make sure we keep quiet?"
My focus sharpens as I realize they're talking about withholding information from the counsel. Well that decides it then, I'm definitely going to have to go with them. I usually try to stay here while they're off with the high magic counsel because seriously, they give me the creeps, but I've definitely missed something important by doing that. Why are they keeping things from them?
A crinkle forms between Emerson's eyes, his thinking face, "Let's not tell them about me getting closer to a higher up's identity. We should keep that to ourselves until we actually have the information in hand just in case our suspicions are correct."
"What suspicions?!" I ask, "You guys have suspicions about the creep counsel? Why am I only hearing about this now?" Oh wait, it's because I ditched on all of the previous meeting with them obviously. Dammit Raven, woman up and stop being so scared will you?
"Agreed. We'll give them the same spiel as last time but let's notify them about the possibility of things going down this weekend we're hoping to intercept for new leads." Forrest tells them, "Let's not tell them where or when, just that we'll be gathering more information this weekend."
Everyone agrees and they all pile into the elevator, heading down to the basement garage. The five of them get into two separate vehicles and I hop in the one with Forrest and Drazik, not wanting to miss anything else.
"How have your nightmares been?" Forrest asks Drazik.
He shrugs, "I haven't had one in quite a while. They're coming more infrequently and when they do come they're not as intense."
Forrest gives a nod, "Good."
Drazik looks over at him, "And your evenings? Any better?"
My head snaps to Forrest, "Goddammit what else have I missed? You guys really just need to always be with each other so I stop missing things. It's rude."
"I don't know how to explain it," Forrest says, "it's just an uneasiness that keeps me from really being able to fall asleep. I'm not sure what's causing it, could be a gargoyle thing."
"Any luck in finding others of your kind yet?" Drazik asks.
For as long as I've known these five Forrest has been searching for other gargoyles. I don't know much of his childhood or where he came from as that stuff was all talked about pre my appearance in their lives but I can only assume his parents are gone. Apparently gargoyles are either underground and off the radar or they are simply very rare. His struggle is one of the reasons I feel so connected to the group and him. I don't know what I am either. I have no idea what I can or cannot do or what to expect in the future. I just deal with things as they happen which, granted, isn't much since I seem to be some sort of ghost. Not having someone to help you through strange happenings is hard. Shortly after I started following them around I started being able to decipher auras which freaked me out at first, I thought I was hallucinating but no, auras are a thing apparently. The first time I ever moved something while in a rage terrified me too even though that happened long before I met the guys.
"No." Forrest sighs, "I'm not sure what it is but it almost feels as if I'm missing something that's right in front of me. That there's something just outside my reach that my gargoyle side is trying to get me to understand." He grips the steering wheel tighter, "I don't like not knowing."
"I know, man. We'll figure it out eventually and don't worry, you always have us. We're here and you know Emerson will be able to invest more time in the search once this mission comes to an end. If anyone can figure it out, it's Emerson."
I smile, "You guys are so supportive, I love it."
It doesn't take long before we're pulling up to the large marble structure that houses the high magic counsel. To anyone non-magical it looks like an abandoned warehouse but apparently I'm in some way magical because I can see it's true form. It almost looks like a traditional courthouse with a jutting roof-line that's supported by 8 massive columns in the front. Just looking at it makes me uneasy and I'm dreading having to go inside.
Okay Raven, I tell myself, it's time to grow a pair of ovaries and get your ass in there. The guys are hiding things which means the feelings I get from this building and the counsel are obviously founded in something, I just don't know what. I take a deep breath and exit the vehicle, mentally preparing myself for the sensations I'll feel once I'm inside. It doesn't take long before the guys have all grouped outside of the building and start climbing the stairs.
"Into creepyville I go." I say to the world around me, following behind my men.