"What's up, you don't seem happy?" He asked. I looked up.
"I was fine till you got here, can't a girl have her privacy while she's on her balcony?" I asked. He looked a bit surprised at my answer, "what's the matter, cat got your tounge?" I asked when he didn't answer. I got up and walked into my room.
I closed the door then leaned my back against it. I breathed out the breath I didn't know I was holding. I hated being mean to him, his face though, his poor little face. He looked so hurt.
Everything whooshed into my mind, just like at the start of the day as I turned around to see him still standing there, staring at me, he didn't move. It started to rain and I stood there frowning, wondering when he was going to go inside.
He didn't move so I went outside and pushed him into his room. I didn't want him to get wet. He could catch a cold.
I walked back into my room and closed the curtains. I got ready for the next day and then went to sleep.
I woke up to my alarm clock. I groaned and got up, turning my music player on and opening my curtains to see Freddy getting changed, I quickly closed the curtains and made a little gap, where I could see.
I felt a little pedoish watching him so I walked away and got dressed myself.
When I was done, love me harder by Ariana grande came on and I turned it up a bit. Now it was quite loud. I opened my door and went back inside.
I was singing along. "You're a really good singer you know" Freddy said from his balcony. I scowled at him as I finished singing. The song say something came on. This was the song that reminds me of when he never picked up the phone.
"Say something I'm giving up on you" I sang.
By the end of the song I was crying. "What's the matter?" he asked.
I glared at him and ran into my bathroom. I cleared. eyes and decided that since I was in there I should put my make up on now instead of later.
I walked out looking refreshed.
I went down stairs and my mum looked at me, yet again, she was not happy with my outfit. I was wearing a t-shirt and shorts, with my converse.
"Hi mother" I greeted. "Hello" she said. "Maya moo" she started
"Maya" I corrected.
"Maya. I got a call from your teachers already." She said.
"Why?" I asked. "They said you were miss behaving" she replied.
"But, I did do all my work" I pointed out. She sighed.
"Maya, just because you did all your work doesn't mean it doesn't matter if you mess around" she said. I rolled my eyes.
"Well this is who I am" I said before grabbing an apple and walking out of the kitchen towards the front door. " She used to be such a sweet kid" I heard her mutter before I reached the door.
"Yeah well I grew up" I shouted as I was outside. I turned around to see Freddy staring at me, looking concerned.
"are you ok?" He asked.
"I'm fine this happens every morning. I get a lecture about what im wearing or my behavior and she always manages to fit in her famous line" I explained with a sigh.
"And her famous line is...?" He asked.
"She always has to say 'she was such a sweet kid'" I explained.
He chuckled, "well, it's true" I glared at him before walking to the edge of the road. I waited for Zach to come. (My boyfriend)
He text me an hour ago telling me he was coming to school today and would pick me up, but his twin sister would be coming too, yes, twin.
"Who you waiting for?" Freddy asked.
Me and Freddy were only 17 but Zach is 18 so he can drive. I can't.
He turned up and I was still standing there, so was Freddy but I kept away. I ran up to Zach and kissed his cheek. He laughed. "I thought you wasn't going to kiss me?" He asked.
"Not on the lips" I replied.
"Hey Freddy!" Stacy shouted. I giggled as I saw Freddy's face. He's never liked Stacy. She used to fancy him and he never liked her, I'm guessing by the looks of his face, he still doesn't.
"Well I better see you at school" he said before bolting. "Why you running?" I asked, while smirking. "Uhhh don't wanna miss the bus" he replied. I burst out laughing then sat in the car.
The journey was normal, talking about random stuff.
In form I remembered those words Freddy said before he left that day.
*flash back*
"I will always love you moo moo".
*back to reality*
Was it true. Did he still love me?
No that can't be true. I bet he got to America and forgot all about me, after all, he did ignore all my calls. He probably even got a girlfriend. He probably still has one now.
What if he never meant to say those words? What if he lied?
I didn't realise I had spaced out until miss walked up to me. "Maya, I have heard bad comments about you" she said.
"Don't you always" I replied looking down at my fingernails, they were black.
"You shouldn't wear nail varnish" she told me.
"do I look like I care?" I asked. She sadly shook her head.
"Sadly, no" she said before walking up to the front and taking the register.
I put my headphones in in classes and zoned out just completing all the work sheets they give out. I walked into lunch and saw Zach. He was kissing another girl. My eyes widened and the girls ran up to me.
"Calm down Maya" Lilly said.
"Don't do anything stupid" Chloe said.
I calmed myself down and walked out, Chloe and Lilly in tow.
I waited outside the hall until she walked away. I walked in as if I hadn't seen anything. He looked at me and smiled. I smiled back.
"what are you doing?" Lilly asked.
"Pretending it never happened, I will tell you in a min." I replied.
I walked up to Zach and sat next to him. I saw one of his friends coming through the doors, I knew he had a crush on me. I walked up to him and kissed him. "It didn't mean anything, I used you for payback" I whispered in his ear after.
"What are you doing Maya." I heard Zach shout from behind me.
"What?" I asked.
"You just kissed him, but your going out with me!" He shouted.
"Oh, so you're aloud to kiss other girls but I'm not aloud to kiss other boys in this relationship?" I asked. I tilted my head waiting for his reaction, my arm on my waist.
"I saw what happened there a minute ago" I said to him. "Yeah." I said.
"No please don't do this, I'm sorry, I can be better just give me another chance." he practically begged.
"Fine, one more chance." I said before I walked out of the hall and into the corridor. I slumped down onto the locker even though I gave him another chance, it still hurt me.
This was all too much. Freddy moving back, the memories resurfacing, now this. I couldn't handle it.
I got up to see the girls coming up to me. I ran off in the other direction. I bumped into someone while I was running to the front door. I fell over and it was too late. I curled up into a ball and cried.
"What's up? Maya? Maya are you ok?" I heard him ask. I didn't reply. "Maya moo" he said.
Hearing him say this made me worse. I hadn't heard that for a long time. Not since those words he said before he left.
I looked at him and saw a concerned face. I uncurled and hugged him. I smelt him and he still smelt of his little teddy bear. Only the smell was stronger and mixed with cologne .
We stayed like that until I heard the bell go for the end of lunch.
"I gotta go" he said. I looked up at him and he was standing. I stood up, brushed myself off and then nodded.
"But I do have something to ask you though." He said.
"Go ahead" I said.
"How come you aren't friends with anyone from our old school anymore?" He asked.
Telling him would mean telling him everything. It would mean every last detail. More crying. Remembering everything I bottled up for so long. I couldn't do that. I hadn't realized I had started crying again. He looked at me, confused.
"Hey, hey, hey, what's up?" He asked. "What happened after I left?" He asked.
"I-i-i can't tell you." I stuttered before running again. Or the exit of the school, down the steps, towards the gates that were just closing. If you were late back from town now, you would have to go through reception.
I sprinted and just got through the gates. I looked back and Freddy was standing at the doors staring at me. I smiled sadly before legging it home.
I hate that it gets to me, I hate that when I think about it, I can't stop crying. I hate all of it, I hate that I let it happen and that it did happen. Most of all, I hate that I don't want to tell him. Because I do, but I know I can't.