Chapter 22
I woke up with a light feeling. Our night ended up with peace. It took time bago natapos ang munting hindi pagkakaintindihan namin. I lowered down my pride for the sake of our relationship.
If I didn't brought down my pride maybe I'm up now with a heavy feeling from within. It was all my fault.
Ang unfair naman siguro kung siya pa ang maglalambing sa akin kung ako naman talaga ang may kasalanan.
This relationship of ours is composed by him and I. Napagtanto ko na sana inisip ko siya bago gumawa ng desisyon. I was desperate to finally get rid with Evonn.
He didn't send me a message after everything yesterday which is I’m glad about. I think I couldn't handle him because Deriel and I was not in a good state yesterday.
Bumangon na ako sa pagkakahiga ko at pumunta sa munting vanity dito sa loob ng kwarto ko. I'm thankful for this, I don't need to go the bathroom just to fix myself.
Deriel assembled this one. Our unit has only one bathroom and it’s not convenient when Deriel and I are in hurry.
Sinuklay ko ang aking buhok dahil sobrang sabog nito. It took me couple of minutes fixing myself before going outside to cook for our breakfast. I'm expecting Deriel in his room fixing himself or in the sala sipping in his hot coffee.
Lumabas ako sa kwarto at dumeretso sa kusina para magluto ng umagahan Sinilip ko and sala to see if Deriel is around pero wala siya. I'm sure about talking to him first today but, he's not around.
Napagdesisyunan ko na pasukin ang kwarto niya baka nando'n siya para ayusin ang sarili. He is always done taking a bath lately before I got up.
Pinihit ko ang door knob sa pintuan niya at unti-unti itong binuksan. I sighed when I saw his room empty and quiet. Iniiwasan niya ba ako? Galit pa rin ba siya sa akin? I thought we're good already.
I told him yesterday "we're cool, right?" and then he said "yes" so there's no reason that he's leaving me without any permission. Is he taking revenge on me?
I am so confused, I am not used to this.
I decided to cook breakfast already.
Maybe he is just out para magpahangin.
Nagsaing ako sa rice cooker and I washed the pan so that I can use it already. For today's breakfast, I'm cooking scrambled egg and bacon.
Una kong niluto ang itlog and then the bacons. I am cooking extra foods for our lunch. Salitan kaming nagluluto pero ngayon, I am doing it, sort of peace offering. I fried the last bacon and there’s no sign of Deriel showing up.
I decided to pack for our lunch since the rice is all set. I took some tuperwares and then filled it with foods enough for him and me. I placed his on a paper bag and I just left mine on the table, I'm going to place it in my bag later.
Kinuha ko ang phone ko to see if Deriel left a message for me to tell where he is but am disappointed when I saw nothing. Walang mensahe ang galing sa kanya and I saw Evonn's messages instead.
I typed a message for him hoping that he can read it. It's so quiet in the condo and I am kind of not used to it. I pressed "send" after typing the message for him.
To: Deriel
Nasaan ka, El?
Binuksan ko ang mga mensahe ni Evonn and it's all nonsense. Ang kapal ng mukha niya na bigyan ako ng mensahe when we did made a deal to leave me after that day. I'll regret giving him my number if he’s going to send me messages everyday. He's annoying me.
From: Mr. Irande
Good morning, Glaica.
From: Mr. Irande
Did you have a nice sleep?
Pati ba naman pagtulog ko poproblemahin niya? I'm almost full of him. Konti nalang and I'll add him on my blacklist. Nawalan ako ng gana no'ng nakita ko ang oras. Few minutes from now I'll be late already.
Tinakpan ko ang mga niluto ko at nagdesisyunan na maligo nalang, nagbabakasakali na dadating si Deriel sa kalagitnaan ng aking pagligo. I went to my room again to get my shower essentials and head my way to the bathroom.
I opened the door and covered my mouth because of what I'm seeing. He was nowhere to be found. Hinanap-hanap ko siya kung saan-saan, I sent him a message, I was overthinking things and this is all what I'm going to see?
He's lying down in the floor... unconscious. Tinatagan ko ang loob at kinakabahang lumalapit sa kanya. I tapped him hoping that he'll wake up but I am hopeless.
“Deriel? Can you hear me?”
Ilang beses ko siyang ginising pero walang nagbabago sa kanya. I checked his pulse and I calmed down a bit when I can still feel his heart beating.
His heart is beating slow and it seems like it's about to give up anytime.
No! I can't loose Deriel. He is the only one I have in this chaotic life of mine.
“Deriel! Gumising ka diyan!” I shouted and then tears started flowing from my eyes.
Yinuyugyog ko siya para siya'y magising pero walang nangyayari. Tell me that everything is just a nightmare!
“Tulong!” ilang beses na akong sumisigaw and no one came.
Pumipiyok na ang boses ko kakasigaw at kakaiyak. My tears are too much to stop. Hindi ko na maipapaliwanag ang nararamdaman ko. I'm hurt, confuse, and angry.
Bakit napamahal ang kamalasan sa akin?!
I don't know what I did to be this unfortunate!
I slowly lie his head in my towel from my thighs. Tumayo ako at tumakbo kung saan ko nilagay ang cellphone ko. I dialled an emergency number and they immediately answered my call. I told them my location while crying at tumakbo muli sa banyo para puntahan si Deriel.
I let his head rest at my thighs again.
I caressed his hair, crying. His lips looked pale already. He looked pale already!
“Hold on, Deriel! They are coming.” referring to the ones that will come to help us.
Few minutes the rescuers came. I left the door open because I’m expecting their presence. They immediately laid Deriel on a stretcher at umiiyak ako habang pinapanood ang ginagawa nila.
My strong Deriel is lying down, helpless.
I never minded what I'm wearing at deretsong sumama sa rescue team. We hop into an ambulance. Sa gitna ng biyahe namin ay umiiyak ako habang tinatanong ng team ng mga detalye.
“Anong oras po nangyari ang pag-collapse niya, Ma'am?” tanong nung babae sa akin.
I can't afford them information because all know is I just saw him lying down the floor, unconscious.
“Wala po akong a-alam. H-Hinahanap ko po ko siya k-kanina pero hindi ko siya n-nakita. I was about to take a b-bath when I saw him i-inside the b-bathroom na walang malay.” humagulgol ako habang sinasagot siya.
Naintindihan ata ng babae ang nararamdaman ko. She's asking me questions when I don’t even know what to feel because of what’s happening.
She stopped asking question to me. We arrived at the hospital and he was immediately rushed into the ER.
With my pajamas on, I ran with the nurses pushing the stretcher to the ER. Wala akong pakialam kung pinagtitinginan ako ng mga tao ngayon.
All that matters to me now is Deriel's condition.
“Sorry, Ma'am, hanggang dito ka nalang pwede.” said by one of the nurse.
“I need to see my fiancé!” pagpupumilit ko.
“I’m sorry, Ma'am, pero bawal ka po do'n sa loob. Excuse me, I'm still going to save your fiancé's life.” huling sinabi niya bago pumasok sa silid kung saan naro'n si Deriel.
Sinisisi ko ang sarili ko. If only I did checked the bathroom, too, hindi sana umabot sa ganito ang lahat. My Deriel is strong, I know he can do it. He can do it for me... for us.
Hindi ko inaasahan na aabot ang araw na 'to. I'm supposed to be the one rushed into the hospital, not him. Ako dapat ang nakararanas ang lahat ng ito.
The nurses around me kept on saying that everything will be all fine and I know that. I'm not used to seeing him like this.
He didn't even tell me what's going on.
A doctor went out from the room and I immediately rushed myself to her. She looked at me from head toe. I'm in my pajamas and flip flops on with tears all over my face. I can't describe what she thinks of me but I'm sure that it’s not good.
“Kaano-ano mo si Mr. Relaña?” the doctor asked. She is a very classy doctor, I can see it by the way she asked and she acted.
I'm shocked. My eyes widened at her and expression didn't changed at all. Wala lang ba sa kanya ang mga sinasabi niya? She knows my fiancé's last name! As far as I can remember, I wasn't asked about his identity, all I was asked were all about the incidents.
“Bakit mo alam ang pangalan ng fiancé ko?” I asked and I wiped the tears away from my face using my hands.
She seemed amused and the side of her lips rose, she smirked. Why do I have a feeling that this doctor is acting weird. If Deriel is in a good condition I will definitely asked this woman why is she acting this way.
She's a doctor and she's supposed to act nice to her patient’s companion.
“He's Deriel Camico Relaña and everybody knows him. Where on earth are you leaving that you don't even know your fiancé's status? Her mom, Nelfina Camico Relaña is a known model at her era. Her twin sisters are high end models of our generation. Mr. Relaña and Deriel are successful business men for sake!”
I can't process everything that she’s saying. Sa dami ng sinabi niya na wala man lang konekta sa sitwasyon ni Deriel ay hindi kapanipaniwala. He's my Deriel and I know him. She raised an eyebrow on me and I raised my eyebrow back.
“He was my boyfriend--”
“He was your what?!” I cut her off.
She just sighed and smirked at me. She looks like she’s having fun with every reaction that I'm giving her. I am so full of her. Wala siyang ginagawa sa akin pero sa kaloob-looban ko, galit na galit ako sa kanya sa hindi ko alam na rason.
“It doesn't matter. Anyways, no'ng huli niyang punta rito, wala namang nagbago sa kondisyon niya. His cancer is already in stage three and he refused to all the treatment options we've given him.”
I received too much information to the point that I think I can't bear more. I feel like any minute from now I'm going to collapse due to informations that I can’t process.
“His lung cancer is in Stage 3B, the cancer has spread to lymph nodes on the opposite side of the chest or to lymph nodes above the collarbone.”
“Paano po ba siya magagamot?” I asked never minding all the things she said.
Wala akong maintindihan sa mga pinagsasabi niys and I feel like my head is slightly aching.
“Stage 3 lung cancer is complicated to cure already. He needs to undergo a combination of chemotherapy, surgery and radiation treatment. I already offered him but he refused.”
I didn't think about the expenses at the moment. All I am thinking is Deriel’s life.
I need him and I can't loose him.
“Gagaling pa po ba siya, Doc?” I asked full of hopes.
“It's all on him, whether he'll fight or surrender.” she said and excused herself.
Sinapo ko ang ulo ko at napa-upo muli sa upuan. I bursted in tears again and this time I'm in fear. Fear of loosing the only person that I have.
Why did you not tell me everything, Deriel? I thought we're together in everything.
I could have just be with you throughout your healing process.
^_^