So in terms of the week I had just had, it was a whistle stop tour of :
Monday - Cumbria, was a 14 hour day.
Tuesday I was back in the office.
Wednesday I drove down to Oxford and back.
Thursday 07:30 catching the train to Edinburgh. I missed the last train. The trains were totally disrupted. It was November. I met Karen to go shopping at the Gyle with her. She drove. We went back to her flat.
"Do you want a cuppa?"
"Yes please" I replied.
"How about something stronger, I've got Bailley's."
"ooh, go on then you've twisted my arm!"
"Good, Chris must be working late." Karen opened her mail and showed me her clothing bill on her Next statement.
"I must stop spending so much on clothes." Karen was older than me and had a supervisory job so her pay must have reflected her spending. She spent £400 a month just on clothes.
"So what's new with you? I've not had a chance to catch up with you in ages!"
"I've been spending time with someone at work, after work." Karen handed me a glass.
"Well you're always the last to leave the office, that's for sure!"
One of her two cats jumped on my knee and started to head butt my arm. I sipped on a glass of Baileys with two ice cubes kissing in the crystal glass.
She tapped her glass on mine. "The thing is, I never see Chris, he's never here. When I am he's so tired, I think he's lost interest in everything, including me."
"But you've been living togeher for such a long time." I pointed out.
"Yeah but he's never going to ask me to marry him is he? I'm always going to be his live in housekeeper." It was clear it was a marriage with no ring.
The Indian takeaway arrived that we had ordered for dinner. I paid for it and collected the receipt.
"So what about working with someone you're having a relationship with?"
"Well things are looking pretty good so far," She continued, "and we've known each other for a long time. He's split up recently with his girlfriend."
I guess it's about being careful that he's not on the rebound?" I suggested.
"No," she said, "this has been brewing for some time."
"So what about leaving here?" I asked.
"He has an apartment in town." I got from that, that she was just going to move out of here, and move in there. It was her life and it wasn't any of my business. She was kind to me and I liked her very much. I slept on the couch.
I got up the next morning and we left at 08:15. I said goodbye and went to see the duty manager at the train station to extend my ticket, given that they had cancelled the train due to the inclement weather conditions.
Saying goodbye again was all very final, a bit like Karen's relationship. She had already said goodbye to Chris and having never met Chris I wondered if hearing goodbye would be a relief or a shock. I would never know. If only it was possible to fast forward and anticipate it a decision is the right one. I hope they went on to have a happier life.
I had to feel empathy for Chris. Even if the relationship was over I reflected on what a callous and cowardly way it was to end a relationship but maybe that was because my own with Dionisis had been so abruptly terminated too.So Dionisis ghosted me and I didn't know why. It said more about the man he was than what I did. I spent so much time agonising as to what I did wrong. However the blame was with Dionisis.
If he had wanted to make time for me, Dionisis would have found a way to. He soon did when I first wrote when the letters, that rushed between us prior to my trip. I just had to accept nothing less than my worth. The hardest bit was coming to terms that he wasn't worth my time. I thought too that it demonstrated how emotionally immature he was. However I resolved the pain in my heart. It hurt and even being logical about the reasons I didn't want to be right. I wanted him in my life and he didn't want me. But that didn't stop me missing him.
The train station office was at the back of the station and I walked in, to the middle of a heated discussion. I got the understanding that the angry man was furious because his car had travelled up by train from London. The complainant was a very well dressed man with a mobile phone, and he was wearing a grey suit under a very expensive looking overcoat that was made of cashmere or something ridiculously luxurious. However he had got to his destination but for some reason but he didn't have any identification on him so the official wouldn't release the car. He was not happy with the explanation.
"If there weren't any witnesses about I would kill you."
The official said with an attitude "Have a good day!" and the customer completely lost his temper and promptly punched the official behind the counter and stormed out.
"Are you ok?" I said to the official. He nodded and held his jaw. He spoke into his walky talky and a voice responded. I didn't want to embarrass him so I kept quiet and my eyes to the floor until he had recomposed himself.
"What can I do to help you?" I showed him the ticket and he revised my ticket without any quibble.
The police arrived and I left for my train. It was on time. I kicked back and stretched out. My CD player was resting on the table and I was relaxing into INXS. I could hear the faint announcement over the tannoy and I removed one headphone. "Would the lady travelling from Edinburgh to Leeds please make her prescence known to me, as I pass through the train."
I found myself at York giving a police statement and they held the train for me. I rang Alex to tell her everything before I then got back home, from the train phone. "It could only happen to you!"
"Yes, you have a point!" I replied and laughed.
I had a shower and went into work. It was good to return home and get to bed.
I drove Mum to an antique fair at Elland Road. It wasn't on. I bought a hat at Granary Wharf where I drove her to instead into town. She bought a bargain of fabric, reduced from £20 to £7 a metre. I drove us to the chip shop and after tucking into chips, Ali rang.
"....so I've spoken to your Dad." I started to tell Ali.
"What did he say?" Ali asked. "Oh my Mum sent me a letter about my Grandfather being sick."
"Your Father didn't say that to me."
"well," he continued, "I got your letter. My Grandfather's got TB."
"Oh dear", I exclaimed. "So how old is he?"
"I think he must be 80 but I'm not 100% sure."
Maybe he didn't want to tell me. I suppose it wasn't any of my business.
I told him about what happened at the train station and about the fun I'd had getting home.
"so I spoke to my boss, and you can imagine what she said, every time I'm in Scotland!"
"Well," Ali commented, "It can only happen to you!"
"So, what have you been up to?"
"We were on the shooting team and we came last. So, three days in we're on the ranges and the shoot was on Friday and the results were announced as 'third, 'C' company'. It was the first time we lost in years. We were as popular as mud!"
"So I spoke to your Dad and he was telling me some gossip about you."
"Oh what!" he exclaimed, "so see my Dad?"
"He told me you had told him I had a tattoo."
Ali asked "Did he tell you where it was?"
"We didn't discuss that." I replied.
"He's talking bollocks!"
"He also asked me you were going out with an English woman; was it because they are hot blooded?"
"That Father of mine, is talking shite! He's winding me up through you. He's like that, he does that with my mates."
Ali promised, "I will have a word with him in the very near future. I might have to go and see my Grandfather and I don't wish to sound cold hearted but I'm only going up for Family sake, because he's not been much of a Grandfather." I could relate to the that, with my Dad. Ali's Father thought I would try and make him leave the army. Ali was looking to come back to the UK so he could do his Drum Instructors course and be posted away less.
I was dying for a break. I wanted some sunshine and I was sick of the cold. I had been full throttle all year and I just wanted to think of nothing and relax. I enjoyed my horse riding when I could.
Ali had rung me to tell me he had not got his flight booked. I had booked holiday at work from 17th December -3rd January.
I had decided that I wanted to leave Leeds before I met Ali. It was to see somewhere new. I loved to travel and I always saw myself ultimately living somewhere like Greece. I had told Ali my plan and that was seeing where the job would take me.