As to the training day, It was incessant. The trainees were complete novices and they were particularly difficult to orchestrate. It's unbelievable what they try to do. I took so much for granted. One student was trying to add text by touching the display! How impossible that was. I remember the delegate that brought a bottle of tippex to use on the screen. Then there was the student that thought the cd drive was to rest the coffee on. It was a challenging world for an IT trainer. I know it was a complex package to learn but they were so unmotivated. I received staff who loathed their jobs, who didn't like change and didn't clearly want to be in a training course. It was an up hill struggle to turn them around and skill them up.
I bumped into my friend Rhys who worked there and we'd been to University together. We went for lunch. He asked if I wanted to go out that evening but I was really tired and I'd had my covering letter to do for this job I was looking to apply for.
There was a fabulous Chinese Restaurant that I couldn't stop ordering from. I would quietly take it to my room. I thought about this job. I stared out Of the room's bay window, that overlooked onto the main Street. I mulled over my next options. I loved Oxford. I loved Edinburgh. I had lived in Leeds most of my life and I craved a change. Of all the places I'd travelled to it had given me the impetus to move. It's difficult morally because Mum, although she's got Palmer, there's a lot of guilt moving away, especially so far. The trouble for me is that if the right job came along abroad, I would consider moving like a shot. I just loved the mediterranean and part of the love of Dionisis was the love of the world that he came from. I loved the Greek culture so much and the language, and the people. Athens was a complete joy for me. It had everything; Greek mythology, history, weather, architecture, jewellery...I just loved everything about it. I wasn't stupid to comprehend that each Country has it's downsides but it was so appealing, even for just a year. What about a holiday rep?
I had made the decision to move and I knew the holiday at Christmas was likely to be the last for a while. It was unnerving but an exciting opportunity, all the same.
Dionisis never left me. He haunted my dreams constantly like an unwanted phantom and I tried to ignore my feelings and put that traumatic time behind me. It was still all very raw.
Work was uphill. I had encountered a difficult trainee. I rang Rhys and we met outside and I offered to drive him home. His driving was a bit erratic like his temper; Rhys had written off his car. In this case though it wasn't his fault and it was good to see a friendly face who had been my friend for years. Rhys invited me back to his home. I was a bit nervous about meeting his family. I had spoken to them a few occasions on the phone. We drove back to his house and he insisted that I had tea. His Father was just an older version of him. He had the same mannerisms. It was quite uncomfortable that Rhys' Father made a couple of insinuations that I may be his girlfriend. I had an unconfirmed reminder to being with Quig. Why can't people leave that conversation be? Rhys tucked into and demolished a steak. It was particularly revolting when Rhys' Mother suggested that he gave over the rare steak's blood juices to the cat who had been watching the eating activity with close attention. Every fork and every morsel in the mouth was studied by this little feline. Being vegetarian I was suddenly not hungry. It was lovely to chat to them once we got passed the unwelcome hints, as I knew Rhys so well. We sat as a 'family' and watched the Fugitive. Rhys could be hard to keep the conversation going with at times. His Mother was a supply school teacher. I was reminded of my missing Ali as the film had scenes of Pipe bands. After the movie I drove Rhys to the pub. He drained a pint glass and I demolished a dessert. It was a very pleasant evening and I returned him home after last orders. I was shattered and bed was very welcome.
It as good to drive home after a very long day in the classroom. I missed Ali's call. I got him later.
"Have you been missing me?"
"I have, a hell of a lot."
"I've been missing you too." I confirmed.
"Hellish."
"I saw the Fugitive last night and it was brilliant."
"Was it good?"
"Yeah I went with my friend from Uni, Rhys. So how was Poland?"
"It was good. I caught the train to Warsaw and there are three train stations. I don't want to waste money telling you these stories."
"write and tell me then."
"I will, have you sent me a letter?"
"Yeah, why?"
"when did you post it?"
"Monday."
"It's still not here. It's just that I threw a tantrum today, like, it's not here like, you know...and where is this surprise?"
"What surprise?"
"You promised me a surprise in your last conversation, what kind of surprise?"
"If I knew that, it wouldn't be a surprise!" I replied. "When was it?" - this was a very surreal conversation!
"Friday last week!" he replied.
"Was I drunk? I don't remember."
"There's a difference between being drunk and being drunk on."
"I can't remember doesn't matter."
"Aye it does", he insisted.
"Was it Saturday?"
He stated "I've done something for you."
"For me?" I asked.
"I've given up smoking for you." he claimed.
"Well that's no good," I replied. "You need to give up for yourself for it to be successful." I advised.
He was trying to be a better man for me. I hated smoking and I'd never dated a smoker. I'd not made a big issue of it but it petrol and cigarettes were my nightmare smells.
"Well I've got a confession to make. I had a cigarette today. Three draws and I felt hellish for it. I gave up when I arrived in Poland. I gave up because I just felt really bad, lots of pains. I threw the packet in the bin so I thought, and I think I'll do it."
"Give up."
"Aye. Anything is possible:"
"So I promised you a surprise?"
"You did, and you've really got me bothered." I was enjoying being under his skin. The aggression I guess, was lack of nicotine.
"I spoke to your Mother and she said she had posted off your driving licence and you've filled it in all wrong."
"What? No listen, I didn't!"
"She told me to say that you should ask for a replacement."
"No, I knew it, I asked for a new one as it takes so long even though it costs more."
"Well they have your record."
"I know this. I've done it before, but it was months ago."
"Anyway I've sent your watch off for a new battery like you asked and it's going to be £20."
"Why do people think they know better?"
"Because we know you!" I should have not made this comment, he was not in the mood. "anyway they have sent it back. Your watch will be ready in two weeks."
"What? The b....s!"
"Well that will teach you to get drunk and fall over!"
"You should have told her to forget it."
"I don't want to talk about it, I just miss you!"
"Do you?"
"Aye." he replied.
"So did you have a good time?"
"Aye. I did but...."
"Who did you go with?"
"Dog but he's as brutal and boring, oh he's hellish. He sends you to sleep."
"You're intolerant."
"Listen I'm talking to you baby, he's dead lethargic conversation wise. We were on the train and he just slept! The whole journey! The only time he woke up was when I said to myself to remind me never to go again on holiday with Dog! I could have done with you being there."
"Well that would have kept you awake! At least you saw some of Poland."
"This is true my dear otherwise it would have been a hotel room and ceiling!"
"Enough stop it!"
"Well, it's true isn't it?"
"So I was in Bangor yesterday at the cinema and there were only two screens and I was expecting twelve."
"Oh aye spoilt for choice, I prefer it like that. I cannot be bothered with these big things. I arrived in Warsaw and they had this advert for a bullet proof window for homes. Just where I want to move to! So you were talking about moving to Edinburgh."
"Ah you have remembered something!"
"I remember every single word, every letter! So I have an exercise for two weeks and I've been drinking more now that I've stopped smoking. "
"So are you happier?"
"Reasonably happy, could be happier. Just wait a month and I'll be happier. I have to start smoking again as it's making me crabbit."
We said our goodbyes.
I woke up in the morning, very awake. I had been dreaming that Ali had got me some jewellery. It was one of the dreams I have when I know I'm seeing the future.
I got up and the phone was ringing and sure enough it was Ali. He had been in the pub all night, from when he'd rung me. He said some lovely things like I'm particularly beautiful with my hair up. He told me that he's never felt like this about anyone and doubts he will again. He told me he loved me as a person, not just for my looks.
Mum asked who had rung at 06:35 and told me "He's just an attractive drunkard." I didn't want to see it.
Days later I wrote Ali a letter and posted it. It was full of hope for the new job as my current job was just too disruptive, playing secretary all the time. I really hoped I would get it.