It was 5:31pm when Louis arrived outside his old apartment.
Over the couple of days following his ruined date with Lucas and his big epiphany, Louis had managed to gather his feelings and figure them out. He loved Harry with everything he had, so much that it made his heart ache - he knew that now, but he couldn't do anything about it. Harry had a girlfriend, didn't he? He'd moved on, and Louis wasn't about to ruin another one of Harry's relationships. Besides, he was afraid that if he did do anything about his feelings, he'd lose Harry's friendship almost as suddenly as he'd got it.
On Thursday afternoon, the day after the date, Louis had called Lucas, hoping to explain everything. He'd dreaded it, but he knew he had to do it, or else it would have been incredibly unfair for Lucas. He was packing up his things at work when he decided to call, sitting in his giant chair and hoping that Lucas wasn't busy. Sure enough, Lucas answered his call and Louis braced himself for an extremely angry Lucas. "Hey, Lucas."
"Hey, Louis. Are you alright? You seemed really panicked last night. What happened?"
"Um, about that..." Louis scratched his eyebrow. "I think, uh, I think we should stop seeing each other." There was silence on the other end of the line, and Louis tacked on, "I think we should stop seeing each other, at least romantically. I'm so sorry for leading you on for three dates, but it's just not really clicking for me."
There was some more silence, and Lucas said, "Okay. Okay, I get that."
Louis was a little surprised at how calm Lucas sounded. "You're okay with that?"
"Uh huh, maybe I was expecting this, especially after last night. You do seem a little cold with me, and it's such a shame, I like you a lot." Louis could hear some bustling behind Lucas, and guessed he was still at work. "But if you really don't feel anything, there's no point."
"I'm so sorry."
"No, don't apologize, Louis." Lucas chuckled slightly. "It's not your fault you feel that way. I do want to know, though, what happened last night?"
"Well..." Louis' voice lowered a bit. "That roommate I told you about? We sort of... dated for five years. And when we were texting I pretty much realized that I still loved him."
"I see." Louis was impressed by how well Lucas seemed to be handling everything. "I suppose you're going to pursue him now?"
"No, he's taken and I don't think he loves me anymore."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Lucas said sympathetically.
"Thanks." Louis felt relieved - he'd been expecting to get yelled at. "Do you think we can stay friends? I don't like you in that way, but I do like you."
"Of course! I'd love that. Thank you for being so honest, by the way. You're a good guy, Louis, I hope you figure everything out with your ex."
"Me too."
So now Louis was standing outside Harry's door on a Saturday afternoon as promised, a bag of groceries over his shoulder and Milky on her leash next to him. He'd practiced cooking a few times at home, and although he wasn't exactly confident in himself, he felt ready. He rung the doorbell and waited for Harry to open the door, preparing himself for seeing Harry and hoping he'd be able to act normally around him.
Harry opened the door and a huge smile and dimples immediately graced his face, making Louis' heart do a couple flips. "Hey, Louis! Hey, Milky!"
"Hey, H." Louis bent down to take Milky's leash off and she immediately ran into Harry's apartment, excited to explore.
"I'm expecting to be impressed by your cooking, Tomlinson," Harry said as he stepped aside to let Louis in. "You've practiced, right?"
"Once or twice, but don't get your hopes up. You're a professional chef, I doubt you're going to be impressed." Louis stepped in and took off his shoes. "You promise that you'll help me out if I started burning anything, right?"
"Just because I'm a professional chef doesn't mean I don't appreciate other people's food," Harry protested. "Of course I'll help you if you need it. What are you making?"
"There's only one possible dish I could make for you, Harry." Louis felt a wave of nostalgia hit him as he stepped into what used to be his home for three years. "Chicken stuffed with mozzarella, wrapped in Parma ham, with a side of homemade mash."
"Ooh, sounds exciting. I'm prepared to see how much you've improved since the time you made it for me so many years ago."
Louis set his groceries down on Harry's kitchen counter. "Probably not much, I haven't made it since, except for the two times I made it this week to practice." He pulled out a small bottle of red wine from his bag and handed it to Harry. "Here, I brought this. You said you can drink red wine, right?"
Harry took the bottle from him. "You brought wine? Fancy. Yeah, I guess I can drink this, doesn't look like a lot of alcohol."
" 'm gonna wine and dine you, Styles."
"I feel so privileged to be wined and dined by the one and only Louis Tomlinson," Harry said with an amused twinkle in his eyes. He set the bottle of wine down onto the countertop and looked around. "Where did that puppy of yours get to? You know what - never mind, I'll go find her myself. Do you want to start cooking first or look around the flat first?"
"Cook first, I guess," Louis said as he started taking things out of his grocery bag. "I can take a look around after dinner."
"Alright. I got you a few scraps from work, they're in the fridge if you want them. Just shout if you need me."
"What are you going to do now?" Louis set his ingredients across the counter and pulled up a recipe on his phone.
"I'm going to go play with Milky, of course," Harry said gleefully. "She's so cute!"
Louis rolled his eyes, but he couldn't deny the fact that Milky was the cutest puppy in the whole word - not like he was biased. "Okay, have fun."
"Oh, I will."
Louis shot him a weirded out look and shook his head fondly as Harry disappeared further into the flat, on a mission to find Milky. After realizing that he loved Harry and accepting all of the feelings he'd repressed for so long, it somehow hurt even more whenever Louis saw Harry. The green-eyed boy was so close, yet so far. What's more, he was taken, and Louis couldn't do anything about his love. Harry didn't want him, anyway.
Sighing, Louis grabbed an apron that was hanging in the kitchen and put it on, preheating the oven and looking at his phone for the instructions. He could faintly hear Harry's giggles and Milky's barks. If he hadn't left Harry, would that be what his life would be like? With an endearing boyfriend - or even a husband - and a little puppy, playing and having fun? If he hadn't left, would Louis be playing with them now?
He should really stop thinking about things like that, because it wasn't helping Louis feel happier. All he could do was stand in the sidelines with his heartbreak and pretend like he was okay with everything.
Louis' eyes scanned over the groceries set on the counter and decided to get started on the homemade mash first, so he grabbed the potatoes and rinsed and peeling them in the sink, hoping he wouldn't accidentally cut himself and make himself look stupid in front of Harry.
While the potatoes were boiling, Louis decided to take a break from cooking and see what Harry was up to. He made sure the water wasn't boiling too vigorously and left the kitchen, almost immediately spotting Harry and Milky in the living room, playing fetch with what looked like to be a balled up sock.
"Hi, Chef Louis!" Harry threw the sock and Milky chased after it. "How's it going? Do you need my help with anything?"
"Not really, just wanted to see what you guys were up to." Louis rested his arms against the top of the couch, cooing when Milky ran back with the sock in her mouth. "You're playing fetch with a sock?"
"Well, I don't have any dog toys, and Milky seems to enjoy it." Milky dropped the sock down next to Harry's feet and Harry petted her. "I've always wanted a dog."
"I know. We both wanted one, remember? We were going to get one together." Louis' heart clenched a little as he remembered their plans to get a puppy, but their plans had been disrupted when Harry's drinking started soon after.
"Mm. Don't know why I didn't get around to getting one." Harry threw the sock again and Milky bounded dutifully after it. "I guess after the, uh, breakup, it took me a while getting my life back together and I was more focused on getting my career back on track."
The atmosphere had turned a little somber with Harry looking a little sad as he talked, and Louis wanted to go over and comfort him, but he wondered if it was appropriate or not. Instead, he opted for saying, "Well, I'm glad you and Milky are having so much fun, I'll get back to making dinner."
"Good luck! Please don't burn the house down, I rather like this flat and its interior decorating," Harry said sweetly.
"Very encouraging, H." Louis lifted his arms off the couch and turned around to walk back into the kitchen.
"I'm just kidding, Lou, I know you'll do great! And if it tastes horrible, I'll pretend to love it."
It took Louis another hour and a half to finish making the meal, making several close calls to burning the potatoes - how did people multitask while cooking? He was also pretty bad at telling when the chicken was done, so he needed Harry to come over and poke the chicken once or twice to make sure they didn't eat underdone chicken. All in all, Louis was a relieved man when he finally finished cooking, plating up the chicken and potatoes and poking his head out of the kitchen to let Harry know he was done.
"These look delicious, Louis," Harry said brightly, grabbing a plate in each hand. "I don't know what you were so worried about."
"Don't get ahead of yourself, these may taste like crap." Louis had set aside some boiled potato chunks and chicken pieces for Milky's dinner, and he grabbed a random, shallow bowl to put them in. "And don't ask me to cook for you again."
Harry pouted. "You're ruining my dreams of being wined and dined by the one and only Louis Tomlinson."
"I am wining and dining you right now!"
"Okay, and I'd like to come back for a second experience." Harry set the plates down onto his dining table. "I'll cook something for you next time, if you want."
"I'd like that." Louis followed Harry out of the kitchen with Milky's dinner in his hands, and Milky pawed at his feet, staring intently at the food. "Milky, sit." The puppy sat down reluctantly as Louis placed the bowl onto the floor, waiting for Louis to tell her it was safe to eat.
"She's so smart!" Harry squealed, clutching at his heart. "She's the cutest little puppy."
"I know, right?" Louis smirked proudly. "Okay, Milky. You can eat now." Milky practically pounced onto the bowl and buried her face into the chicken and potatoes. Louis slipped into the seat opposite of Harry, watching as Harry took out two wine glasses and opened the bottle of red wine Louis had brought. It was seven o' clock and Louis was sure he could hear his stomach grumbling, he was starving.
"Hungry?" Harry held back a laugh when Louis' stomach grumbled particularly loud, and Louis blushed.
"I haven't eaten anything since lunch."
"Neither have I, I'm hungry too." Harry finished pouring the wine and slid a glass over to Louis. "Okay, let's eat!"
Louis wolfed down the first several bites of chicken and potatoes, too hungry to really stop and notice what the food tasted like, although since neither he nor Harry spit their food out, he assumed it didn't taste that bad. After plowing through a quarter of the food on his plate, Louis finally remembered he was supposed to make conversation during dinner and asked, "How are your mum and Gemma, by the way?"
Harry furrowed his eyebrows. "Mum said you still talk to her and Gems."
"I do, just..." Louis felt a little embarrassed. "Not as often. I check in now and then. So how are they?"
"They're doing well, both of them. You know Gemma's engaged, right?"
"Yes! She told me a few months back and invited me to her wedding," Louis said excitedly. "I can't wait, it'll be fun!"
"Well, it's less fun for me, I'm helping them plan their wedding and it's so complicated." Harry made a face over his wine glass. "Of course, I am really happy for her."
"I thought you had your own wedding all planned out, can't you just use your ideas for Gemma's wedding?"
"No! Those are ideas for my wedding, not hers," Harry insisted. "Gems can figure out what kind of flowers she wants by herself."
"What a lovely little brother." Louis shushed Harry before he could protest. "I'm just kidding, H, it's already very sweet of you to help Gems out, and you can keep your own wedding ideas for yourself."
"Good." Harry took a sip of his wine, his eyes still trained on Louis intently and making Louis' heart beat erratically. "The chicken is really good, by the way, Lou."
"I'd ask you if I've improved since the last time I made it for you, but I doubt you remember what a meal you ate eight years ago tasted like," Louis said, putting a bite of chicken in his mouth and chewing slower to savor the flavor.
"On the contrary, I do remember what it tasted like."
Louis raised an eyebrow. "How? That was eight years ago, Harry."
Harry shrugged. "I remember it because it was such a big day for me. My boyfriend, who had never cooked anything in his entire life, had offered to make me a meal and it had tasted delicious. It meant a lot to me, so I remember it well."
Louis' heart melted. Had one meal eight years ago really meant that much to Harry? "That's kind of sweet."
"It is, isn't it?"
Harry's eyes bore into Louis' with such intensity that Louis almost noticeably shivered. He'd forgotten how intense Harry's stares were, and how they always made Louis have goosebumps. "So, um, has my cooking improved at all?"
"A little. You were a little short on the seasoning last time." Harry ate another bite.
"Good to know I've improved, then." Louis felt happy to get the approval of someone who was actually a chef, even though he was pretty sure Harry was just being nice.
"Sorry about Wednesday, by the way." Harry's expression turned a little guilty.
"Wednesday?"
"You know, when I texted you during your date?" Harry looked like a kid caught red-handed stealing cookies from the kitchen.
"Oh." Louis' cheeks flushed, recalling the exact moment of his revelation a few days ago. "It's alright, Harry. You weren't bothering me, if you were I wouldn't have answered your texts."
"Yeah, but what I said..." Harry averted his gaze and instead watched Milky, who was licking at her empty bowl. "I'm sorry. I hope I didn't ruin anything."
"You didn't," Louis said gently. Technically, Harry had ruined his and Lucas' relationship, but in a good way, making Louis realize that Lucas wasn't the one for him.
"How are you and Lucas doing, then?" Harry's voiced sounded a little strained, and Louis had guessed it was because Harry was jealous of Lucas, although he found that hard to believe. Why would Harry be jealous of Lucas? He'd never even met the guy.
"We sort of called it quits," Louis said. "I realized I didn't like him in that way."
Harry's face seemed to brighten a little and his voice sounded almost happy when he said, "Really? I'm so sorry."
"It's not a big deal, we only went on a couple of dates," Louis said nonchalantly, sipping his wine and feeling the alcohol slowly seep into his system.
"I'm glad you're alright." Harry reached across the table and squeezed Louis' hand, making Louis' heartbeat increase rapidly at the contact. "I always want you to be happy."