Kabanata 34
"Gusto mo ako?" I raise an eyebrow, obviously confused. "Is that what you meant?"
"No, kadiri naman." he groaned, plastering an annoyed face. "The truth is, Adren already knows everything."
There was a long dramatic pause. I was trying to process his words. Alam ni Adren ang lahat? Ang lahat ng ano?
"Anong alam niya?"
"That you left him because you wanted to save him from getting his reputation tainted," sagot niya. "He knew it even before, kaya niya binawi 'yung shares na ibibigay niya dapat kay Solstice."
I looked at Adren who only had his gaze on me. Tila ba napapaso rin siya tuwing nagtatama ang mga mata namin. Maybe because we knew we burn for each other, there was still a little spark that could cause flames between the both of us.
"Although, my first plan was supposed to separate the both of you for the meantime since we were waging wars even if we were already holding a white flag," Etienne snarled, furrowing his brows in the process.
That's true, bata pa kami noon. At sa mata ng lahat, we weren't capable of doing wise decisions because of our age. Wala pa nga talaga kaming binatbat noon. Pero iba na ang usapan ngayon.
"Hindi ko inakalang makikipagusap si Tatiana sa mga magulang ni Adren." Etienne dropped the bomb. "She convinced them that she can be a tool for them in order to control him. She was just too obsessed."
"I had to act that you didn't matter to me anymore, Arrisea. She knows my every move and once she finds out that we're still contacting with each other..." Adren muttered, making him lose his composure. "She can do things beyond what we can imagine, Arri."
My eyes closed in frustration, nanginginig ako sa galit sa kanya.
"Did you know she was even willing to help bail Karl before? Para lang madiin ka sa korte? She's even fine with the idea of faking her disability so she can destroy you." Etienne continued.
It all makes sense. Kaya naman pala parang wala lang ang nangyari sa kanya noon. She's even a model now and everyone sees it as a miracle. Sobrang bango nga talaga ng kanyang pangalan.
"We were supposed to just make a show for Tatiana to stop blackmailing you..." mahinang sabi ni Adren.
"But she was everywhere, Arrisea. No'ng una, hindi ko siniseryoso ang mga sinasabi niya at ginagawa niya..." Adren muttered, wolfishly.
"Pero, she was just too obsessed with the idea of ruining you. When we were in senior highschool, balak sana namin na ilayo ka kay Tatiana dahil malaki ang alas niya..."
"Anong alas?"
"Your family..." Etienne sighed. "She was willing to drag your family, Arrisea. She thinks once you're one with dirt, she's going to replace you."
I balled my fists. Like mother, like daughter. We were the original family, pero nabulag si Papa sa pera. He didn't marry my mother because they lack of money, but he married someone else for the same reason too. No'ng una ay hindi pa ito alam ni Mama, pero nang malaman niya ito ay agad siyang humiwalay kay Papa.
He was a foreigner who learned our native language for my mother, pero nagawa niya pa rin itong iwan para sa salapi.
It just shows that money can indeed manipulate someone to think that it can be love.
Pero hindi ko maintindihan si Tatiana. Kung meron man dapat na nagtatanim ng sama ng loob sa aming dalawa, it should be me. Her mother made me suffer when I was with them, sa puntong hindi ko nga siya nakilala dahil pilit kong kinakalimutan ang mga nangyari noon. It was my coping mechanism, to forget cruel things that happened before. To let it go. To not be bothered with it anymore.
Why does she hate me this much? Lahat ba ito ay para lang mapatunayan na mas bagay sila ni Adren? Because I can't see the relevance of it. I can't see her point.
"Bakit ngayon niyo lang ito sinasabi sa akin?" I asked.
"You'll probably drag her to hell, Arri. I saw how you're a slave of your emotions, lalo na't ang pamilya mo ang balak niyang siraan noon."
Kumakabog ang dibdib ko sa galit. All this time, akala ko ay wala na ang poot ko para sa kanya at sa kanyang pamilya. Pero nagtatago lang pala ito.
I had many questions in my head, pero pinili ko munang umuwi. This was all too much for me. Iba ang pinaniwalaan ko sa mga taon na lumipas. I was still shock.
"You never changed," Etienne says, a hand on the steering wheel and eyes on the road. "You always see the good in people."
"I just can't believe it..." napasandal ako. "All this time? Akala ko pa naman ikaw na ang pinaka-weirdong tao na nakilala ko."
"I may be weird but I won't destroy a person's entire life just because I have issues of my own..." tugon niya.
Naalala ko tuloy bigla si Adren. If it is true that he only did that because he valued me and my family's safety, pakiramdam ko ay natutunaw ang pilit kong pinalamig na damdamin.
I chewed my buttom lip. "What if he still loves me? Mahal ko pa rin naman siya...I want him back too."
There were nights that I cried because I miss him. I miss how simple things can make him happy. I miss how unusual his views are and how I was able to accept it without thinking badly of him.
Akala ko kung lalayo ako ay makakalimutan ko siya.
Akala ko kung lilipas ang panahon ay lilipas din ang nararamdaman ko.
Pero ngayong nakita ko ulit siya ay para bang bumalik lahat ng nararamdaman ko. Hindi pala ito nawala, parang nagtago lang at ngayon ay nagbabalik muli.
Move on? Issa prank.
Hindi sumagot si Etienne. He almost rolled his eyes, pero kita ko na pinigilan niya lang ang sarili niya.
My phone vibrated and I received a text from Gio.
Gio:
Ayoko na rito. Lahat sila nage-english.
Arrisea:
Gagio, nasa ibang bansa ka? Malamang?
Gio:
Okay lang.
Sanay na ako mag-adjust.
:(
Gumuhit ang isang ngiti sa labi ko. It's been years since this guy went overseas. Kailan kaya ang balik nito?
As I was browsing my feed, I saw pictures of Franny with his boyfriend. Nasa Paris sila ngayon at ang background nila ay ang Eiffel Tower. I immediately reacted with a heart. I saw comments and apparently the guy proposed to Franny. Agad akong nag-message sa groupchat namin para batiin siya.
Arri: Congrats, Franny!
Franny: Invited kayo, ha! Hindi nga lang sa pinas, pero sagot ko na mga pamasahe niyo.
Camisha: Congratulations, Franny! Ikaw pa ang unang kinasal sa amin. Busy lang ngayon sa hospital pero sana makapag-meet tayo soon!
Ngumiti ako nang maalala na isa na nga palang nurse si Camisha ngayon. I'm happy that despite of how she was constantly belittled by some people, she bravely prove them wrong.
Siguro hindi tulad ng iba na alam na kaagad ang mga pangarap nila, Camisha needed senior highschool to make her realize what she really wanted. Minsan nga ang SHS pa ang magpapamukha sa'yo kung ano ba talaga ang mundong papasukin mo.
I sincerely hope that people will not let their strands determine their worth. Hindi porke't nasa gantong strand ka, dapat ganito na ang kukunin mo. You can changed your mind, you could shift if you must. Don't let it trap you in a small bubble- don't be comfortable in your comfort zone.
Kung sa tingin mo ay mas mag-grow ka sa paglipat ng strand o pagpili sa hindi naman align sa strand mo, subukan mo lang. Wala namang mawawala. Mas nakakatakot na lumipas ang oportunidad na mas makilala mo pa ang sarili mo.
It's better to suffer for a few years in school than to suffer for an entire lifetime because you took the few years in school for granted.
Yes, there are benefits when your strand is align to your college course. But in the end of the day, it's not about your chosen strand or course - it's about what you want to achieve.
The thing about dreams or goals - not everyone has the same pace of achieving it. May mga tao na mas mabilis makaabot ng pangarap nila at meron namang mas mabagal.
Pero pareho naman silang umuusad, wala naman ito sa bilis o sa bagal, basta gumagawa ka ng paraan upang umusad.
So no matter how fast or slow you are in your path — you'll be there, you just have to keep moving forward.
Suzy: I'll clear my schedule! Congrats! Ikaw ang nagwagi~
My smile widen when I saw Suzy's message. She's a model slash reporter now! She didn't pursue culinary in college and took masscom instead. It was her way to regain her confidence again.
She had to take a few subjects for her to be able to change her course, pero worth it naman dahil kitang-kita ko kung gaano siya naging masaya sa kanyang trabaho ngayon.
Etienne stopped the car in front of my house. Agad akong nagpasalamat pero bago ko masara ang pinto ng kotse ay pinigilan niya ako.
"I don't trust Adren," he says. "Pero naniniwala akong mahal ka pa niya. I just don't want you to get hurt again."
I gave him a small smile.
"Love is good, Etienne. But it doesn't mean it won't hurt you. A little pain is nothing compare to the joy it brings."
Pumasok na ako sa bahay at dumiretso kaagad sa kwarto ko. Mama and Archer are probably busy too. Si Mama sa kanyang restaurant at si Archer naman ay sa after school activities niya.
I took a quick shower before going to bed. Habang pinupunasan ko ng tuwalya ang buhok ko ay napako ang tingin ko sa aking cellphone na nasa side table. It was ringing.
I immediately answered it.
"Hello?"
"Arrisea," a husky voice came from the other line. "Can we see each other?"
Wow? Sino siya para tawagan ako ng ganitong oras? Sa tingin niya ba ay gising pa ako? Hindi ba pumasok sa isip niya na busy ako?
Sa tingin niya ay hahanap ako ng oras para makapagusap kami?
Sus, kung sa tingin niya ay ganun nga - aba hindi siya nagkakamali.
"Saan at kailan? Anong oras? Ngayon na ba?" sunod-sunod na bato ko ng tanong.
He chuckled on the other line.
"Well, whenever you're free..."
"Never ako naging busy," I answered. Pagdating sa'yo.
"Sure, let's see each other in my condo. I'll send you the address."
Agad kong inabangan ang text niya ng kanyang address. He asked if I wanted to be fetch but I decline. I can drive on my own.
The building was familiar. It was near a mall. Nagbago siguro ang iilang mga bagay tulad ng pintura at mga nakapaligid dito pero nakakasiguro ako na ito 'yung condo kung saan...
My eyes turned to slits as I grab my phone to text Adren. Baka kasi sa maling condominium ako nakarating.
I received a reply. It was just the floor and unit number.
It gets more weird because it has the same floor and unit number. Pero imposibleng kay Adren 'yon. A different guy was there when I woke up!
I texted Etienne, just in case.
Arrisea:
Etienne
Makikipagbalikan 'yata ako kay Adren
Okay lang?
As I was in the elevator, going up to Adren's unit. I received a reply from Etienne.
Etienne:
Alam mo
Mag-backread ka na lang para sa advice ko sa'yo. Di ka na nadala.
Arrisea:
Mahal ko pa e :<
Etienne:
You can't reply to this conversation.
This user has blocked you for being marupok.
Parang tanga! Pero natawa ako. Typical Etienne.
Upon arriving on the unit, I knocked on the door. Walang sumagot kaya sinubukan ko na lang buksan ito. It was really dark inside so I searched for the switch for the lights.
Nang mabuksan ko ito, the room was oddly familiar. As if I returned to a nightmare I never wanted to dream of again.
The same motif of dark colors.
My stomach churned at the sight of it. I look at the bed and it was still the same as before.
This was the exact room.
My shoulders started to shake as the tears welled up in my eyes.
Narinig ko ang pagsarado ng pinto.
"I'll tell you what happened that night..." Adren's cold tone echoed inside the room.
❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜