Chapter Thirteen
Charlotte
Later that night, I lay in bed next to Karla unable to fall asleep. It was probably around midnight, and I had been tossing and turning for at least three hours. Karla, that lucky duck, passed out the minute her head hit the pillow. I just had too much on my mind and no matter what I did I couldn't seem to force my brain to take a rest.
I was so confused about Christian and I had no idea what to do about it. Earlier in the evening, Karla gave me a good tongue-lashing about kissing her brother – she told me to stay away from him because he was bad news. She loved her brother, but she was worried about him hurting me through his womanizing ways. I couldn't blame her, because for the past week I'd been worrying about the same thing.
But now, I just wasn't sure what to think.
I knew letting myself get too close to him wasn't a good idea because I had my future to think about. I never wanted to end up like my parents - my plan was to put all my energy into school, get a scholarship to University and actually do something meaningful with my life. Every time I looked at Christian, all I could think about was my mom being played by my real dad, and having her future ripped away from her. I got my brain from my mom, but to look at her now, you'd never know it.
On the other hand, Christian made my palms sweat – he made my stomach flutter like a thousand butterflies were let loose inside me. Every time he touched me my toes would curl, and when he kissed me, it felt like the entire world melted away until there was nothing left but him and me.
The pessimist in me ignored all those feelings before, because I never thought Christian could actually care about a girl like me, but after tonight I just didn't know anymore. He actually defended me in front of everyone when Kale was being a jerk, and then he told me he didn't want anyone to hurt me.
I was so frustrated because I wasn't lying when I said the only person that could hurt me was him. It was terrifying but it was true.
God, I needed some fresh air before my mind exploded.
I got off the bed and left the room. There were four bedrooms on the yacht, so Adrian, Kale and Nate got their own rooms, each with a female companion no doubt, and Karla and I got the other room. Apparently there was no way the Steele brothers were going to let the only girl in their family sleep in a tent on the island. Sometimes I almost wanted to laugh at how protective they were with Karla.
I walked down the hallway and made my way up the stairs to the main deck. It definitely was a nice warm night and when I looked up there wasn't a cloud in sight. You'd never see stars this bright in Bridgewalk – the town lights made them dull and lifeless. But here, they were phenomenal. Between the moon and the stars, you didn't need a flashlight to see.
I looked toward the Shore of Silver Sand Island and I could see a few tents scattered down the beach. I wondered if Christian was in one of those, or more specifically, if he was with anyone. Maybe it was better if I didn't know.
I looked back up to the sky and was completely taken by how beautiful the stars looked. I could probably stay out here all night and stare at them.
And that was exactly what I decided to do – but if I was going to stargaze all night, I figured I should try and get as close to them as I could. I climbed up the latter that lead to the top deck but just as I reached the top, I froze.
There was a blanket spread out on the deck floor and lain on top of it was the very reason I couldn't fall asleep. He had his hands folded behind is head and he was staring up at the stars.
"Oh, I-I'm sorry. I didn't think anyone was up here."
Christian's eyes stayed fixated on the sky, and just when I was about to go back down the latter, he said, "Did you know that stars actually develop from a large, slowly rotating cloud that is made up entirely from hydrogen and helium? The cloud ends up collapsing inwardly from its own gravitational pull."
I was captivated by the look of wonder in his eyes, but also by the fact that he knew that. I always knew Christian was smart because he was the only one in his graduating class to receive a full scholarship to Bridgewalk University, but this was the first time I'd ever heard him talk about anything intellectual.
"As it shrinks, it starts spinning faster and faster," he continued, "and the outer part becomes a disk while the innermost parts become a rugged circular clump. When the heat and pressure reach one million degrees Celsius, atomic nuclei start fusing together, and the star ignites."
I walked over to where he was lying on the blanket and sat down beside him. I looked up at the night sky, and said, "Born again."
"Huh?" Through my peripherals I could see him looking up at me, and he almost looked surprised that I even knew what he was talking about.
I explained, "The clouds are created by the hydrogen and helium left over from the Big Bang, but also, those clouds are seeded with heavier elements from the stars that lived and died long ago. It's kind of like the stars are able to reincarnate. What they leave behind after they die helps to create new stars."
"I've never thought about it that way," he said it so softly I couldn't help but look down at him.
Our eyes locked and I noticed he was looking at me with an expression I had never seen on his face before. If I didn't know better, he looked completely mesmerized. I couldn't imagine why? When most people heard me talk nerdy, they would run in the other direction as fast as they could.
"Tell me something else," he said.
"Like what?"
"Anything."
I laughed, and said, "Okay, well – did you know that the closest star to earth, aside from the sun, is proxima centauri. See right there?" I pointed up to the brightest star in the sky. "That's Alpha Centauri, which is actually a system of three stars, and proxima centauri, the smallest of the three, is the closest to earth. It is approximately 4.37 light-years from Earth. Do you know how far away that is?" I lay down beside him, my eyes stayed fixated up on the stars. "Even if you went at a speed of 60,000 km/h, it would still take 78,000 years!" I turned my head to look at him, and asked, "Did you know that?"
He smiled and my stomach fluttered. In all my years of knowing Christian, I'd never seen a real, genuine smile on his face – he always smirked, but never smiled. It was probably the most magnificent sight I'd ever seen in my life. I was so stunned, that I almost didn't hear his answer, but when I registered what he said, my heart melted.
"I did, but hearing it from you makes it so much more fascinating."
Hours went by but our conversations never ended. We talked about everything from astronomy to astrology. We talked about star constellations which led to a discussion on the solar system, and then we started talking about evolution and the big bang theory. Somehow that led to a friendly debate on whether people evolved from Neanderthals, or if they were a different human species all together. Eventually we were talking about genetics and the similarity and differences between humans and animals.
I'd never had such an invigorating conversation in all my life. Sure, I had intellectual discussions with Sally the Librarian, some of my teachers and even my mom when she was sober, but this was something else altogether. He spoke with just as much passion as me, and it seemed to awaken something within me that I never knew was asleep. I felt alive and energized.
"Psychiatrist," I said when our discussion came to an end.
He turned his head to the side and furrowed his eyebrows. "What about it?"
"You asked me last Monday what I wanted to go to University for – I want to be a Psychiatrist."
"I think you'll be good at that. You have a welcoming demeanor that makes people want to open up to you." He rolled onto his side and rested his head in his hand. His body slightly towered over me as he looked down into my eyes, and he said, "Charlotte, I am really sorry about what I did this evening. I shouldn't have been such an ass to you and Karla, and I definitely shouldn't have tossed that guy into the lake, but mostly, I'm sorry for kissing you like that."
I shrugged and said shyly, "It wasn't all that bad."
A crooked smirk ebbed at the corner of his lips, and a dimple surfaced. "It wasn't all that bad? Come on, Charlie, you're wounding my pride." He raised his eyebrow challenging, and added, "If there is anything in the world I'm good at, it's kissing."
He was only teasing me but his words caused reality to come crashing down. He was definitely good at kissing, but there was a reason why he was. Years and years of practise made sure of that.
"That because you're a womanizer," I said in a low, troubled voice.
His eyes trailed past me, and he looked out toward the lake. "But what if I wasn't – what if I changed?"
"People don't change, Christian." I would know. I had been trying to change my parents for years.
"Charlie, look at me."
I turned my head and was taken aback by the look of hope glimmering in his bright sapphire eyes. I could see the flecks of green contrasting against the blue making his unyielding gaze even more profound. It nearly took my breath away.
"I care about you, okay?" he said as his facial features hardened with determination. "I care about you more than any of those other girls – just give me a chance."
"A chance to what?" I asked barely above a whisper.
"To prove to you that I can change." He tucked my hair behind my ear and added, "I need you to believe in me even though no one else does. I might not deserve it after the way I've treated you and countless other girls, but if you just give me the chance-"
"Okay."
"Okay?" Christian seemed more surprised by my answer than I was.
I smiled bashfully and nodded my head. "Okay, I will."
He pulled me into a tight embrace and placed a kiss on my forehead. "I promise I won't disappoint you."
He bent down to kiss me on the lips but I pulled back. "I said you have to prove yourself first."
He laughed but still nodded in agreement. He kept his arms wrapped around me even when he rolled onto his back.
We fell asleep under the stars like that – his arms securely wrapped around me and my head rested on his chest.
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Note: Thank you everyone for all your comments! I just love reading what you're thinking after each chapter! :) And of course, thank you for all your votes as well. I really like this story and I'm happy to see I'm not the only one 8)