Angelica
"Jordan!" I exclaimed, "How in the hell did you get my number?"
He laughed through the phone, "I have my sources." He cleared his throat,
I rolled my eyes, "Sources? You mean my Mom?"
He chuckled, "Oh why yes indeed." He said, "Anyway how are you?"
I raised my eyebrows, even though he can't see the amusement on my face, "Are you really just going to check on me through the phone?"
"Yeah, I can't really visit." He said.
"Why not?" I asked, "Come on you better come and visit!"
"I'm very busy with work." He said, "This pie charts won't be happy without being eaten you know."
I groaned, "When's your day off then?"
There was a long silence.
"I don't know really," I heard rustling through the phone, "Sorry bout that, I was calculating.".
"Oh you're really busy huh?" I said, "That's a bummer. I am expecting you to visit."
"How long will you stay?" He asked.
"Maybe about a week, I'm still thinking." I shift myself to a Comfortable position.
"What are your plants for the week?" He asked and I can hear the rustling sound through the phone even the calculators beeping sound. Calculators don't beep now, do they? How old is his calculator. Scientific calculator don't even make a sound!
Shooking my head of the thought of a stupid calculator, "I don't know. But Roxan and Carla did visit me today,"
"Oh really?" Jordan laughed, "Y'all are best friends now?"
As much as I love those two today, the idea of us being best friend still make me shudder. The thought alone is even cringe, "Oh hell no." I crunched my nose, "Besides they were very helpful for once they really made me forget my worries for today."
"Well... I'm glad." Jordan said, "Anyway, I only called to say Hi."
"Hmm." I raised my eyebrows, "Why didn't you call me when I was in LA, what difference does it make now that I'm in Australia?"
"How can I call? I don't know your number." Jordan chuckled, "I'm quite shocked you still keep this number."
"I have to of course," I said, "So I can use it when I come home. But still, you can contact me in any other way. You can chat me on Instagram or even dump an e-mail."
"Is this some kind of business purposes or..." He laughed.
I rolled my eyes, "Oh stop it. I'm serious though... Are you planning to visit?" I said with a little plea of my voice.
There was a silent.
"I'll try, I swear. And of course I would love to hang out with you." He said, "But right now, I have to go and continue this stupid calculation."
I chuckled, "Alright. Goodnight, I have to sleep as well." I said,
With a few exchange of goodbye and goodnight, I finally have the rest I wanted. I can still feel my aching foot but I decided not mind it and clean myself before I go to sleep.
Staring at my unpacked baggage, I can't help it but feel so nostalgic. Everytime I come home from University, I unpacked and spend of my day with Zeke. I have to make sure to spend of my free days with him, I have to. At least it make me feel a little less guilty of what happened, and I have never missed any day. With my Pajamas on, I opened my luggage, and slowly my hands travel to my suitecase that my journal rest on it. No matter how many time I have seen or feel or read my journal, its always so new to me, like As if I haven't really read it and wrote some things in there before. Everytime I open it, shivers... A lot of Shivers run to my spine.
I sat on my bed with my journal in my hands caressing it like a new born baby, like the way I have held Zeke when I first saw him. The small dents and crests of the journal remind me of those cute little wrinkles Zeke had, his eyes were shut, his hands were smaller than my pinky and his skin was delicate than any soft materials combine.
"Dear Baby,
I miss you so much,"
"Dear Baby,
I'm sorry."
"Dear Baby,
How are you?"
"Dear Baby,"
I couldn't hold it much longer, A single tear slid down on my cheeks. I tried to fight it, I really do but my tears have other things in mind. I decided to close my journal, hold it dear close to my chest, clutching it like my life depends on it and let my aching and guilty heart sob it's internal slumber. I haven't cried so much until this year and I've been bottling my emotions for so long. I let out a shaky breath and I told myself "It's okay, everything is gonna be okay." But all I ever wanted is to go back in time and change it.
~
"Don't you think we have enough paints, Zeke?"
Zeke shook his head, "No, we need more."
I looked at my son confusingly, "What are we going to do with all this paints?" I said, "They are a lot and if you think Mommy needs it for my job, I already bought a lot in LA."
Zeke smiled, "I know that, but I wanted to buy more."
"Why?"
"Because I want to paint something." His eyes glittered in excitement.
I gave him a cheeky grin, "Really?" I bend down, leveling my face with his, "What are you going to paint?"
He laughed, showing me his white pearly teeth, "That's a secret."
I gasp in act, "You have a secret and Mommy is not supposed to know it?" I put a heart on my chest, "Why can't I know?"
"You will know soon, Mommy don't worry." He cupped my face with his little hands, "But I'll draw it when we returned to California."
"You are going to show me your drawing right?" I asked,
"Of course!" He beamed, "When it is finish."
I chuckled, "Oh I can't wait to see your drawing. I'm excited!" I clasp my hands together.
We've been in Australia for almost a week now. Roxan and Carla have been good lately, they come and show me around town and tell me some latest gossips about someone that I don't know and I am quite enjoying myself, not that I love gossips at least my mind has been mentally stable for now. I hate and love the new Roxan and Carla today... I hate that they're still the same and love them that they change. If that doesn't make sense, I don't even know what I'm talking about. As long as I don't hate them whole heartedly then... It's okay. Jordan been calling me lately and keep on apologizing for not coming because of his work, and I keep on telling him that it's okay, that I understand, he just very thoughtful and always consider my feelings. As for Rodrick well... Still the same and I never heard of any news of Nicholas from Rodrick again. My last conversation with Rodrick was two days ago, he just ask if I was okay or if I need anything - which also means he wants to come here and check on me - He really wanted to come but I told him no, I wanted to face this on my own. If ever I got to choose between a million dollar over Rodrick. I would choose the freaking Dollar, Rodrick knows I need money and he's the type of best friend that will understand. Besides we will split the million in half. Just a typical best friend thing.
"And I wanna eat." He pouted rubbing his poor empty stomach. "I wanna eat salad."
I widen my eyes. Did I just hear that right? Salad? Vegetables salad? "What?"
"A salad." He smiled innocently at me. "Vegetable salad."
"Are you sick?" I said and started to travel my hands around him checking if there's something wrong and my hand rested on his forehead checking if it is hot or just warm enough for a normal body temperature. "Why do you want eat vegetables?"
He laughed, "Because you eat it!" He exclaimed, and furrowed his eyebrowes, he slowly rub his chin, "Though the last time I check, they tasted horrible but I wanna try!" He jumped, "You love it when you eat it!"
"I do because it's healthy," I pat his head, "And if You want to try we can. But I'll not be surprise if you hate it.".
"But I wanna love it." He said, "I'm sure they taste better now than before, right Mom?"
I laughed, "I don't know love, for me it tasted the way like it is before. We can't change the flavors of Veggies."
He grimace and look at me, "So does that mean it's still yucky?"
I grab his hand and said, "We don't know but I hope it will change your mind when you taste one again."
Within a few minutes we sat on a nearby restaurant with a salad in front of me and a horrid face Zeke beside me. I tried to contain my laugh but Zeke's face is beyond adorable, I kept on telling him to eat it but he just shook his head. I bought a ham and egg sandwich for him, His face lit up so quickly that he finally saw a real food in front of him and as for me, more salad and a little spaghetti. I have a weird taste of combining foods. As long as it is food I have no complains but when I was a kid broccoli was my nemesis, I hate Brocoli so much. I really don't know why I like vegetables as I grow older or maybe because I know its health benefits and it is a must to eat them sometimes.
"Mom! Mommy look!" Zeke exclaimed making me look at him.
"What is it?" I asked and he was pointing something. Roaming my eyes, trying to look at what he's pointing, "What are you pointing?"
"Look!" He said again, "Phases of the moon sticker on the window!"
"Oh, I thought there was something." I chuckled, I looked at the glass window. Indeed there was a full moon, a half and quarter. "I didn't saw it when we came in."
"Yeah, me too." He said and continued nibbling on his sandwich.
As for me, I look at the sticker. I really don't know what happened but the more I look at it, it send shivers down to my spine and my stomach was releasing butterflies. The hairs on my neck are rising up for no reason.
What does this mean? Is this another sign?
"Hello dear." A voice startled me, I look at my side and an old woman look at me, "Hello, I'm sorry to disturb you."
"I... I..."
"I'm sorry, did I startled you?" She asked, worries fill in her eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't mean it."
I shook my head right away, "No," I gulped my dried throat, what is happening? "No, I'm sorry. I was thinking of something I didn't hear you when you called."
"Oh, I see. I'm sorry." She said, "it's just that a lot of people are here and I left my glasses at home and my grand daughter just run off, She's about About the age of your child." She pointed at Zeke, "Blue eyes, curly hair oh um... More like wavy. Have seen her?"
I looked around the restaurant, "Oh I'm sorry. You must have been worried sick," I said, "Wait let me just..." I stood up from my chair to have a better view around the restaurant. "Why don't we call the authorities Ma'am? or the manager? We can-"
"Oh no please no," She hurriedly shook her head, "I don't wanna cause attention."
"But..." I trailed off when I saw a little girl on the window glass, jumping up and down trying to grab the moon stickers that is glued to the window. "Is that her?" I pointed.
She immediately look at where I'm pointing and she gave me a smile, "Thank you so much."
"You're welcome." I smiled and she went to her granddaughter's direction.
She didn't scold her, instead she hugged her and they looked at me. The little girl smile and wave, I waved back. She looks so beautiful and her smile is so nostalgic and her toothy grin is ecstatic, her dimples are showing too. Her curly and brunette hair are a perfect match on her bubbly cute face and they went out of the restaurant hand in hand.
I slowly sat down and looked at Zeke, I feel a little tug in my heart. I deeply sigh and said, "Wanna go home?"
"Yeah,"
We went home directly with a lot of paper bags in my hands and his. We were laughing as we went inside the house because of Zeke's old jokes. It was so cringe and cute.
"... And the tiger says roar!" Zeke laughed in mid sentences.
"That's enough. My stomach hurts!" I said as I held my stomach to hold back my laugh.
"Looks like both of you are having fun!" Dad said making me look at him.
"Oh Dad," I went to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "We were just buying art supplies."
Zekw dropped his paper bags and climb onto Dad's lap, "I'm going to paint!"
Dad smiled at him, "Really? I didn't know you could paint,"
"Mom didn't tell you?" I said, "I called her about it."
Dad was silent for a while and finally said, "She must have forgot to mention it. I'm always busy at work you know..."
"That reminds me," I said as I pick up the scattered paper bags that Zeke dropped. "Aren't you supposed to be at work today?"
He gave me a shrugged, " I told you I'll stay here until you go back to LA. I wanna be here if you are here."
I smiled, "Thanks, Dad." I stood up and hugged him. "You are the best."
He hugged be back, "And it is my intention to keep it that way," He patted. "I love you, I hope you know that."
I chuckled and look at him, "Oh I know." I said, "And I love you too."
"Granpapa, let's go outside and play!" Zeke butted in, "Please, you're the only one who knows how to play with me."
I looked at him, "What about me?"
"Granpapa is better." Zeke said
I gasped and said, "You did not just say that." Zeke laugh echoed through the room. "Come here!" I exclaimed.
Zeke yelled and drag my dad along with him, "Granpapa come on! Come on!" and they hurriedly went outside. I didn't bother catching up to them, I have a lot of paints to arrange anyway.
"Wait until you come back in here!" I called out and all I received was his giggles and cute little squeals.
Shooking my head, I grab the paints and brushes and paper bags and slowly went upstairs to my room. I rolled my eyes and went back down again, I always forgot that my room is full of attic supplies. "Why do I always forgot?" I mumble to myself.
I went to the guess room and put the paints to the extra space on my luggage to put it there and zipped it shut. Laying flat on my bed I let out a big sigh and I remember the old lady and her granddaughter at the restaurant. I frustratingly rub my eyes.
why am I thinking about it? It doesn't mean anything right?
I toss myself to the right.
But what if it means something?
I groaned and toss myself to the left,
Was it a sign?
No, it couldn't be. It's just a coincidence.
Since when did I believe in coincidence when the moon is involved?
Groaning, I sat up. "Stop." I massage my temples. "Stop." I jumped when I heard my phone ring. "Hello?"
"Hey," Rodrick sang through the phone and I've never felt so relieve in my entire life.
"Hi," I breathed, "Thank you for calling."
"Why?" He asked worryingly, "Is everything alright?"
I bite my lips, "It's just that, Rodrick..." I sigh, "I saw a moon today."
"And?"
"I don't know." I lay on my bed again.
"What do you mean you don't know?" He said disappointingly, "You always know why!"
"I know!" I exclaimed, "And it frustrate me because I don't know."
"You got to have something." He said.
And I didn't answer
"There's something is it?" He finally asked.
"There was an old lady and her granddaughter, her... Her granddaughter was lost and restaurant and she wanted me to help her I-"
"Say no more." Rodrick cut me, "Drink some water, your voice is shaky."
"Is it?" I asked
"Yes,"
My hands were sweaty and my heart beats were increasing each second I walk, I went to the fridge to grab some water. A cold water, a really cold water. I need it.
I hurriedly went to the room and lock the door shut. "Are you okay?" Rodrick asked again, "I'm coming Angelica."
I gulped, "No, Rodrick please no." I plead.
"Nobody knows your suffering you asshole. You want me to stay here and think of your stupid ass crying and anxious in there? You think I'll sleep calmly in here?" Rodrick said, "I am coming you can't stop me."
"Please,Rodrick. Let me stay here alone." I croaked. "I wanna face this alone." I can hear my voice shaking, swallowing the lump on my throat and trying to hold back my tears. "Please..."
I can feel Rodrick hesitant graons through the phone. "What am I going to do with you!"
"Please, I don't always have to depend my life on you. I have to gain courage somehow." I pleaded.
"Okay..." He finally gave in. "But. There is a but! if you call and act the same shit again. I'm coming. I.am.coming. You hear me?"
"Yes," I managed to say. "Thank you Rodrick."
He sigh, "You are welcome." He said, "So does that mean you'll visit?"
It really took me a couple of minutes to understand what he said, "I... Think."
"What if you'll avoid the... You know, the sign?"
I close my eyes and furrowed my eyebrows, "I don't know. I've never avoided one before."
"Are you planning avoiding it now though?" He said full of curiosity in his tone.
"I don't know." I said, "And if I try to avoid I know somehow, it will come back and haunt me all over again."
"I see." He said, "So you'll go?"
"I don't know." Is all I manage to say.
"I understand," Rodrick said, "But what if, it's time?"
"Time?" I asked
"Time for you to visit,"
"You think it's time?"
"I don't know, maybe it is time."
A few little conversations from here and there and few little combats of whether it is time or not. But we manage to change the topic and I finally forgot about it, he told me that Jade and him are becoming really good friends since they both have the same taste of fashion Rodrick is eager to join MFC with me and Jade. Me and Jade are good friends now and I see no difficulty of us three hanging out. I can see the three of us laughing by now. Rodrick finally say goodbye and I sat alone in my bed again. Reminiscing some memories, the good and bad. I shed a few tears and plaster painful smile. A vibration making look at my phone, it was a Text from Jordan.
"I'll be there tomorrow! WE ARE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN!"