A.M
"Cooking wine, I need cooking wine."
I was sure I looked like an idiot mumbling to myself as I pushed my cart through the store, trying to figure out what else I needed for my delicious meal. "Oh my, if it isn't Aaron Moore."
I peeled around on my heel and sighed once my eyes landed on the person who was calling me out. "What do you want, Paul?" I really didn't care what our mayor had to say because I was under the impression that respect had to be earned and so far, he was doing a bang-up job.
"What does a man have to do to get treated with some respect around here?" He got closer, holding his small tray in his hand and I rolled my eyes, not taking him seriously. I never did like the man, not even when I met him years ago and definitely not now. "Spit out what you came over here to say. If you don't have anything, then I'm walking away," I scowled, his presence tarnishing my beautiful day as his face morphed into pure rage.
"You'll do well to mind your tone, Mr. Moore," His beady eyes scanned me like a monitor, scoffing at me. "Anger me any further and you'll find yourself without a future," He frowned before walking away, seemingly pleased that his words rendered me silent, but I was just trying to comprehend what that was supposed to do for me.
I tilted my head, wondering what the fuck he was talking about. "What is that supposed to mean, you motherfucker?" I clenched the bar of my cart in hand, resisting the need to bang his head against the wall. He paused in his stride, looking over his shoulder with an evil smirk.
"Why don't you ask my dear son?"
His evil grin followed me all the way home to where Owen was waiting for me, a hand wave in the air as he helped me get the groceries out. "What are you doing here?" I questioned and he smirked as we headed up the stairs once everything was put away. "I wanted to see you," He smiled playfully before plopping down in my beanbag chair, me right next to him on the floor.
I narrowed my eyes, knowing that he was lying. "Okay, okay! Don't stare at me like that, I get nervous," He pouted and I heaved a sigh, palming my face. "I just wanted to ask about you and Zaid," He began and both of my eyebrows rose up to my hairline. "It's just that everyone has been wondering, me included," I bit my lip, gauging him for a minute. I could tell him, but I could also not tell him. "It has nothing to do with you though. Why should it matter to you?" I bit back, feeling like cornered prey.
I desperately wanted to tell someone because it was exhausting, keeping all these feelings in and there was no one around to tell. It wasn't something that I could just blurt out because there were too many things involved.
"Aaron, it's me, man," Owen threw his arm around my shoulder. "You can tell me anything. I'm not going to judge you," He whispered in a soft tone and I took a deep breath, clenching my hand as I recounted that same night.
"When we get into this party, act like you have some sense," I made Zaid hold onto my wrist so he didn't wander off and get himself into anything dangerous. "This is our first party, so I don't want anything embarrassing happening. Shit travels like air from Steelbrook to Northvale."
The smell of pungent alcohol stained the air as we walked through Lucy Hawthorne's house. There were a lot of people here, which meant a lot of drinking was going down tonight. "No drinks for us," I muttered, knowing my mother would kill me if I had anything to drink. We were just here because we got an invitation after beating them in our first game. It was weird, I knew, but we couldn't just not show up.
I didn't see the people that invited us, so I just grabbed a can of Sprite from the cooler before following Zaid, who took us to an empty bedroom. "I guess we can camp out here until we decide to leave," He shrugged and I took a seat on the plush bed. We were mere teenagers at our first party. We were bound to walk around in confusion among older teens and our parents didn't even know we were out, so we had to play it smart.
"Look how pretty the moon is," I pointed out the window as Zaid parked his body next to me, but I got the feeling he wasn't looking at the moon. It was silent between us, save for the music pumping so loud I could hear through the walls. It wasn't uncomfortable, but I was starting to wonder why Zaid was staring at me so hard. I didn't say anything wrong.
"Can I try something with you?" I turned from looking at the window to look at Zaid as I took a sip of my soda. He looked shy as he rubbed the side of his arm and I shrugged, pondering what could be the worst. "I'm going to kiss you now." He stated confidently and while the thought should've pushed me away because no, we're best friends, I just raised a brow, daring him. "Are you now?"
Before I knew it, hands clasped around my neck, pulling me close and a hot pair of lips immediately slammed down to mine. I was suddenly amazed as he managed to pull a small groan from my throat. His tongue licked across my top lip as he bit down on my bottom lip, stroking it ever-so-slowly. I was just about to lose myself in as he deepened it when the door to the room busted against the wall with a sickening crack.
"Oh ho ho," I heard camera snaps as the players from Steelbrook rounded in, eyes narrowed in contempt. "Look what we have here. Northvale's gay duo," Zaid immediately snatched his head away from me, scrambling away like a fearful rat. I wiped my mouth as he coughed violently. "Are you good, man?" Steelbrook's point guard put a hand on Zaid's shoulders, taking his actions to mean something else. "Yea, thank god you guys came when you did. I didn't know what else he was going to do."
It dawned on me what he was doing, but before I could speak, he pushed past our opponent, pointing an attacking figure in my direction."You're a fucking homo! What the hell is wrong with you, dude?" He wiped his mouth, the look of pure disgust swimming off of him as he sneered down at me, and there was no way I could stop my eyes from watering. "W-what the hell are you talking about, Zaid? You're the one who—"
"Shut up. We don't want to hear what a fag has to say," I blinked in absolute confusion as the center for the Steelbrooks motioned for me to get out. "You're not welcome here anymore, you fucking pervert." He looked me up and down, shaking his head in vehement repulsion. "I—Zaid tell them the truth!" I sputtered, wondering why the hell they were coming at me for.
"Didn't he just say that we don't want to hear what a fag has to say?" Betrayal shot through my core as the boy who I assumed was my best friend glared at me with so much hatred, pointing to the door. "Get the fuck out. You should be ashamed of what you did," He shook his head and I swallowed the big knot in my throat, dread sitting on top of my stomach as I found it hard to breathe.
My knees were wobbly as I stared at him, trying to put together where the sudden 180 came from. There was no telling that my heart was indeed crushed to pieces. How could he instigate such a thing and put me down like this? I couldn't even recognize the boy in front of me as I walked past the laughing group of boys, narrowly missing the foot that intended to trip me. I bit my lip hard to keep myself from saying something, but Zaid just had to have the last word.
"You're dead to me."
I hoped that it was just a dream and that he would come to me to explain, to apologize, hell, even blame it on the alcohol. But I knew it wasn't a dream and he never would come, and he never took a sip.
"Wow, that's..." Even Owen didn't know what to say but he didn't loosen his grip on me. "Yeah, I know," I murmured, hating how pitiful thinking about that made me feel. "I get why you've been upset for so long because you still don't know why he reacted the way he did," My friend cleared his throat before turning to me, a grim smile on his face. "I know you don't want to but," He bit his lip and I raised a brow.
"You need to talk to Zaid about this because there's no need to be holding onto these feelings of angst. He obviously regrets it and he obviously knows something you don't because why would he hang around you after telling you to fuck off? Be a man and confront him, Aaron," Owen offered me words of comfort as he grabbed my hand and I smiled, thankful that he was in my corner too.
"That's the only way you'll get the answers you've been searching for."
I knew he was right, totally right, but I was scared of finding out what that reason may have been.
Just then the door opened and in stepped the man of the honor. "Oh!" His eyes narrowed on Owen as he frowned. "I didn't know you were here," Zaid said and Owen shook his head. "No, I just stopped by on my way home because I wanted to see him," He stood up, patting my shoulder and giving me an intense eye stare that told me to do what I needed to. "I'm about to head out, so it's all you."
He grabbed his phone and his keys, clapping Zaid on the back as he exited the room, and I was just reminded of the courage he gave me as my new guest shut the door, turning to me with anticipation.
"We need to talk, Zaid."
He seemed to know what was going to happen, so he nodded before he sat down on my bed. I stood, trying to find the proper words to begin this conversation with, and I couldn't, deciding to just rip it off.
"Paul spoke to me today."
Zaid immediately rose up in vexation, his eyes tightened with disgust and I pushed him back down. "He threatened my future and told me that if I wanted to know what he meant by that, that I had to ask you," I folded my arms and he looked down, frowning. "And while we're here, you're also going to tell me why you did such a hurtful thing to me at that party. You didn't even have the balls to admit that you were wrong, and I don't know what pissed me off more: the fact that you did it or the fact that you continue to come before me like I'm supposed to get over it."
I knew I was laying it into him, but he deserved it. He didn't know how hard I cried myself to sleep that night, or how bad I was feeling because I thought I did something wrong.
"I mean, I know that you aren't a homophobe because you always talked about how happy gay people should be, and you kissed me first," I raised a brow incredulously. "If you were that disgusted by me, then you shouldn't have initiated it and you shouldn't have carried on with it."
He shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "That wasn't it, Aaron, not at all." He mumbled and I could feel irritation bubbling up in my core as I stared at him in confusion. "Then what is it, man?" I huffed, putting my hands on my hips. "You tell me everything and you tell me right fucking now!" I just wanted to know the truth at this point. I didn't care if it was going to hurt me at all.
"And don't tell me any half-assed bullshit, Zaid! I don't deserve that, not now!" I could feel my lip quivering as he reluctantly nodded, slowly taking a seat on my bed. "Come here," He motioned for me to sit next to him and I did, practically drowning in the stench of nervousness and fear as I waited for him to begin.
"To my mom and me, it's no secret that my father doesn't like you. It has to do with the fact that I found out I was bisexual when I was 14, and he assumed that it had something to do with you. You know, he hates the LGBT community," He began and I nodded in understanding. "If I don't comply with something he wishes so he can protect his media image, he threatens to do something to you. That's the reason why I had to go to a boot camp in Australia." It was all starting to make sense to me, but there was one more thing.
"Now about the party."
He gulped, blowing a breath out. "Yeah. That was around the time I found out my sexuality and he knew, so he slapped me around when he found porn on my computer. I was so scared, Aaron," Zaid mumbled and it tugged at my heartstrings. "So at that moment, I didn't hesitate to kiss you because I wanted to, but it's hard being a mayor's son. I didn't want those guys to post anything about us because my father would do bad things to both of us. Not to mention, I was terrified," His eyes were so open and honest that I found that I couldn't yell at him.
"I wanted to tell you the truth, but my father threatened to cut off access to you when he found out we went to a party together. There was no telling what he would do if he knew I kissed you. I'd rather him think that I hated you so he would lay off, but it was me who couldn't stay away," He explained wholeheartedly and I covered my face with my hand. "I was just scared, Aaron," He ran a hand through his blonde hair and I took a deep breath, processing everything. "I had to make it believable, you know?"
I knew there was something wrong at the time because his words and his actions didn't match, but I slowly stopped believing in that hope when he never came to explain. He was the one who told me to stay away, but he was the one always by me.
"I'm so so sorry for what I did! I didn't mean anything I said. You have to know that. I know I deserve you beating me up and pushing me away, but there was no way I could risk losing you."
Surprised.
Annoyed.
Mad.
Shocked.
All things I was feeling at the moment.
"S-say something, angel eyes. It isn't like you to be this silent," I kept my careful gaze on him, disappointment written all over my face as the urge to slap him dawned on me. How could he do such a thing? Why was he even sitting before me like everything was going to be okay after all of this? He had the nerve, the sheer audacity, the gall to come into my room and spout this bullshit in my face as if it would justify everything? Not today. "Please..." Zaid sounded so sad and he reached out for me, garnering me to turn away from him.
"You're a god damn idiot, Zaid Christopher Brooks!"
He blinked in a stupor as his eyes widened from my loud outburst, my slap ricocheting off of his cheek.
"W-what?" He sputtered, holding his face as he glared at me. "I don't give a damn about that asshole! You should know that. I don't care what he does or says to me. There's nothing that anyone can do to stop me from being your friend," I folded my arms and he sighed, relief evident in his eyes.
"You have any fucking idea how long I've been waiting to hear that?! You had me thinking that I was dirty, that I was so disgusting! I-I—" With a growl, I stood up, shaking my head. Now that I knew the truth, I could rest easy. It would only take a little bit of time for me to forgive him because I knew it wasn't his fault. "I don't care if your dumbass father threatens me. If you care for me like you say you do," I turned back to him and he eagerly agreed. "Stop thinking you know what's best for me and decide on your own."
All feelings exited my body as I offered him a small smile, sitting back down. I was still hurt by the words, but now that I knew the truth now and that he didn't think of me that way.
"Next time, tell me these things sooner. There's no need for you to face them alone," I pinched him on the arm with a growl, feeling satisfaction as his face welled up in pain. "That's what you get for not relying on me, you bastard," I rolled my eyes and he started to chuckle, a genuine smile on his face.
"1v1 with me on Call of Duty?" Zaid sounded so hopeful as he pointed to my plasma television on the wall and I nodded, feeling my competitive energy rise as I hopped up to sit next to him against the headboard. "You're just begging to get your ass kicked," I snorted as he started poking me, and all of a sudden, the tension from our bodies dissipated into the air and it felt like old times.
But I fell asleep in his arms that night.
Score for Aaron Moore.