"Shorter of breath, and one day closer to death"
PINK FLOYD - 'Time'
. . .
The day of the court case dawned without much fanfare, and Cali tried her very best to act as though she wasn't tearing apart at the seams as she sat in between Tommy and Thea. Oliver was in front of them, sitting alone at the defendant's table. He looked strangely small, as though he couldn't quite fill the space of the courtroom. This was a place where he was without power. The Hood was nobody here. It was just Oliver against the whole damn city.
Especially considering that Laurel hadn't shown. Despite it being a horrific idea to have Oliver's ex as his representative, Cali had figured that Laurel would be the bigger person. After all, to everyone except Diggle and her, Oliver Queen was innocent. Laurel never let innocent men go to jail if she could help it.
"Where's your attorney, Mr Queen?" The judge asked, brow furrowing.
Oliver stood up, running his palms over his tie in an old habit. He'd started that particular thing in high school, running his palm over his tie before escorting Stacey Morgan into the dance hall. That's been Junior Prom, and the habit had carried over into his later years.
Cali shook herself. Focus on Oliver.
Oliver said, "I'm representing myself, judge." He sounded steady, but Cali watched his jaw clench. Evidently, his plan had relied on Laurel showing up.
"I'm not sure that's the wisest course, Mr Queen."
"I think it is," Oliver countered. "I'm innocent."
The judge took a breath and then nodded, despite her obvious misgivings. "Then we'll consider that your plea."
"Thank you." Oliver sat down again, and only someone who was watching as closely as Cali was would have noticed the slight tremor that started at his lower back and raced up his spine. He was shaking, but only slightly. Was he afraid? Or was this just the next step in his master plan?
See, this was why Cali was loathed to be one of the ones who knew. Plausible deniability would have rendered that small shiver genuine, and her heart would have gone out to him, but ever since their failed conversation in the police station, Cali couldn't manage to fight off her suspicion. How could she trust anything that Oliver said or did, knowing that he was comfortable lying to everybody to get what he wanted?
Cali didn't pay much attention to the discussion of bail. She knew what they were going to say. The Queen family was too rich, too influential. They had too many luxury items; anything the city could take away could be replaced. Everything except Oliver.
"So then I guess it's a good thing that the people's case is so circumstantial." Laurel's voice was purely business, and Cali was impressed at her friend's restraint. Lord knew it had to be difficult for Laurel to walk down the aisle of the courtroom, ready to defend the man who'd broken her heart and taken her sister away. "Dinah Laurel Lance, your honour. I'd like to file my appearance on behalf of the defendant."
"I didn't think she'd show," Tommy confessed in a whisper, and when Cali looked up at him, his eyes were fixed solely on Laurel's face. There was awe in that look, but it was shadowed by a deep-rooted suspicion.
Cali inhaled but didn't say anything. She had nothing to say anyway. Laurel's heart had always belonged to Oliver. Tommy would never get all the way in.
Cali knew it. Tommy knew it. Laurel knew it.
Denial was just one hell of a drug.
"Mr Queen's wealth should not deprive him of the right to be released on bail while under the presumption of innocence," Laurel continued.
One of the prosecuters stood up, her blonde hair yanked back into a neat up-do. Her pantsuit wasn't the right cut for her figure, Cali noted absently. "He is a flight risk," the woman objected.
Laurel raised a dismissive eyebrow. "Then minimise the risk." She returned her attention to the judge, shoulders drawn back and chin raised. "The defendant is willing to submit to home confinement and electronic monitoring through the wearing of a UKG45 administrated ankle device."
Cali bit her tongue to stifle her sharp cackle of victorious amusement. She fucking loved Laurel. Already, she could see Oliver starting to protest, even as the judge approved the motion, setting his bail at 15-million-dollars with a 5-million-dollar bond. Most of the crowds started to flow out of the room, but Laurel remained, turning to find Cali in the crowd. Her ruby lips were pulled up into a smug smile, but it softened when she finally settled her gaze on both Cali and Tommy.
Cali gave her a small wave, her own smile withering when she noticed Oliver watching the interaction with a scowl. For someone who preached control over himself and his life, he certainly seemed to struggle keeping his jealousy and misery to himself. Or maybe it was just Cali and her uncanny ability to see through all of Oliver's bullshit.
It was always his eyes that gave him away.
Cali could see it all so clearly right now, in this stark moment of visibility and clarity. He was miserable, and he was jealous, but there was a swath of grim understanding there. Oliver knew he'd been gone for too long. He'd missed the window. Laurel had tried to move on, and Tommy had tried to make her choose him.
The problem was, Oliver would just smash a new window. He'd shoulder his way in, because he claimed to be selfless, claimed to want only the best for his family and friends, but the truth was that Oliver wanted things for himself, and he never seemed to have any problem going after them. It was a leftover thing from his years before the boat sinking, but whatever had happened to him during the five years away had sharpened that juvenile greediness into a writhing mass of selfishness.
Tommy jostled her, and the connection broke. Cali blinked, snapping back to her body with a painful jolt. She was still staring, and Oliver was staring back, and she knew that they'd both just sized each other up. She might've gotten a read on Oliver, but there was no way Oliver hadn't gotten a read on her too.
"Hey." Tommy absently brushed her hair out of her face, gently chucking her under the chin as he drew her attention back to himself. "You alright? You went to the sky."
"Sorry," Cali puffed, grabbing his arm and leading him towards the exit. "I was just thinking about this whole thing."
Tommy hummed. "It's all a bit of a mess, isn't it?"
Cali risked a glance over her shoulder, only to see Oliver and Laurel deep in conversation. Oliver was grinning his shark-like grin, but Laurel's face was scathing and disgusted. What a power couple they would make. How gloriously they would burn each other up until both of them were shells.
Cali let out a slow breath and swept out the door with Tommy on her arm. While it was true that misery made good company, she owed it to Tommy to keep herself under control. Nobody liked a weak, weepy woman. Tommy would need to lean on her soon, once the supernova that was Oliver Queen and Laurel Lance exploded and took them all out. Cali knew it would happen. Tommy had to know it too, deep down. Laurel wouldn't be his forever, not wholly.
Tommy had always been okay with sharing things with Oliver, but this was something else. This was Laurel.
"Are you going into work tomorrow?" Tommy asked smoothly, taking the lead and directing them both towards the back of the building.
Cali recognised the route, already managing to spot the back door that would lead them out onto the street, directly across from the old secondhand bookstore that was still in business purely because Cali overpaid the old woman every time she bought something. "I hope to. I've already taken too much time off. You know, after a certain someone called in sick for me last week." They reached the exit point.
Tommy huffed a quiet laugh, pushing open the door. "You know as well as I do that you needed that break."
"There's this thing called responsibility. It comes with great power."
"Don't quote Spider-Man at me, young Padawan. Elder knowledge I possess."
"Star Wars? Come on, bro, if you're going to go nerdy, at least go Star Trek nerdy."
"Star Trek over Star Wars? I can't believe we're related."
"Live long and prosper, except don't."
"Wow, that's cold."
Cali spun away from her brother, casting a quick glance at the street to confirm that it was clear of cars before darting across to the other side, cackling as Tommy gave chase. For a moment, just a fleeting breath, all was right with the world; Cali's feet pounded against the ground and her hair was lifted by the wind and she could hear Tommy's jubilant laughter behind her.
She remembered a moment like this from years ago. Her and Tommy chasing each other, little legs stumbling over each other. She remembered tripping and falling, and soft hands helping her up and holding her close. Rebecca Merlyn had cooed over her for hours, and kissed away the pain. Tommy had cuddled close to both of them, and they'd watched a movie for the rest of the afternoon.
Rebecca was dead now, killed by Starling City.
Tommy still cuddled her sometimes.
Slowly, Cali eased up her running, letting Tommy catch up to her. He didn't hesitate before looping an arm around her waist from behind and swinging her around into a tight hug, crowing in victory as Cali desperately tried to wiggle out of his grip, her protests lost among the puffs of laughter that kept erupting from her throat.
"Admit Star Wars is better!" Tommy cried, still hugging her.
Cali pushed at his chest, trying in vain to push him away and make her escape. "Never! Star Trek always, bitch."
"I can't believe you'd betray me like this."
Cali gave up her struggling, submitting to Tommy's Hug of Death. He smelled nice, at least, and his suit was well-worn and soft against her face as she let her cheek drop onto his shoulder. "I will confess that Star Wars isn't terrible."
Tommy took that for the peace offering it was, and let her go after an extra moment of hugging. He watched Cali straighten her clothes, head tilted thoughtfully. "Alright, maybe I can see the appeal of Shatner's... acting, and Chris Pine was looking damn fine in the movie remakes."
"If we're basing it on physical appeal, Star Wars wins by a long shot, bro," Cali said instantly. "Have you seen Leia? And Padme in the prequels? And Obi-Wan and Anakin? Actually, a lot of characters in the prequels were drool-worthy. My bisexual ass would literally be down to feast on any of those scrumptious desserts."
"Not Luke?"
"Luke was cute in a twink way. Is this a challenge?"
Tommy sighed and shook his head fondly, slinging an arm around her shoulders and walking towards the bookstore. "How is it that we always end up here? Thirsting over fictional characters?"
Cali grinned up at him. "Because there are some mighty-fine looking people in the world, and I have a weakness for women who could probably step on me."
Tommy shook his head and ushered her inside the bookstore, squeezing her shoulder once before letting her loose amongst the shelves. Cali was off like a shot, running her hands along the spine of each book as she investigated each section. Tommy took his time in following her, pulling his phone out of his pocket to check the message he'd gotten the minute he and Cali had stepped out of the courtroom.
It was from Malcolm, and Tommy's good mood dissolved, lips curling away from his teeth in a sneer.
'It has come to my understanding that you and Calissa have been misled about my actions. I would like to meet with you both and discuss it. The mansion. 9pm tomorrow night.'
Tommy checked his watch. Oliver should be on his way home, and if Tommy knew the man his friend was pretending to be, there would be a party thrown in honour of his arrest. Which gave Tommy the perfect excuse to text back, 'Unfortunately, Cali and I will be busy tomorrow night. Even if we weren't, there's no way I'm taking her back to the mansion after last time. If we were to meet, it would be on neutral ground.'
He pressed send before realising that it sounded like he was still interested in meeting. He wasn't, he wanted nothing to do with Malcolm, and he would rather die before letting Cali anywhere near the man, but the damage had already been done. Malcolm responded almost instantly, and Tommy felt his stomach drop as he read the text.
'Acceptable. I'll make a reservation at King Street for 9pm tonight, provided you aren't busy. I expect you both to be there. Bring the USB.'
Tommy didn't bother responding, instead pulling up Oliver's contact and tapping out a harried message. 'You obviously aren't the hooded vigilante, but do you know how to get in touch with him?'
Instantly, his phone trilled with an incoming call. Tommy grimaced, scanning the store for Cali. She was scanning the teen fiction section, happily building up a pile of books. She wouldn't hear him. Still, Tommy nodded at Madge, the old lady at the counter, before slipping outside and pressing the green answer button.
"That wasn't an invitation for a call, Ollie," he said dryly into his phone.
"I'm bored," said Oliver in response. "House arrest is dull and horrible and I'm never going to go through this again."
Tommy frowned down at his shoes. "You're home already?"
"I got a police escort, so I didn't have to wait on traffic. Apparently, when you're suspected of vigilantism, they want to make sure you don't run off."
"Right."
There was silence between them for a moment, broken only by the background sounds of Oliver's home - people bustling about, muffled conversations, cutlery clinking against plates. Oliver had the TV on - Tommy could hear a slightly muted report playing in the background about the increase of homeless animals near the Glades. Apparently, the Starling City Rescue Association was looking for people to adopt some of those animals.
Oliver shifted. "So why are you asking about the vigilante?"
Tommy bit his lip and kicked at the ground, risking a glance into the bookstore just to make sure that Cali was still distracted and hadn't noticed his absence. She hadn't. He breathed out. "I was gonna ask him to kill my father. I know he likes to go after scumbags."
Oliver's breath whooshed out of him in one go, and Tommy startled away from the phone at the sudden noise. The line crackled for a moment before settling; Oliver's breathing had changed pace. "What?" Oliver managed, sounding strangled.
And, sure, okay, maybe this was a little out of the ballpark for Tommy, but what could he say? Cali came first, she always had and she always will, and Malcolm had been abusing her. Malcolm had been drugging her. Tommy needed to protect her, and this was the only way he knew how. Malcolm wouldn't stop unless he was dead. So as loathed as Tommy was to entertain the idea, he had to admit it would solve a lot of their problems.
"Look, he's already a dead man walking, I just wanted the vigilante to speed things along."
"I thought you didn't condone murder?"
Tommy's grip on the phone tightened. The tips of his fingers ached. "I want him gone," he said, voice splintering. He wasn't at risk of crying, but he was tired and he was angry and he wanted a dad that wasn't a monster. "I just want him to go away and never bother us again."
"Tommy." Oliver gentled his voice, and Tommy gritted his teeth against the softness. He wasn't a scared child or a wounded animal. He didn't need to be soothed. "Did something trigger this? What happened?"
Tommy kicked at the ground harshly, rubbing his free hand through his hair as he took several steadying breaths. The problem was that he couldn't just tell Oliver what was going on. He wasn't sure what Cali wanted people to know, and without knowing what was on that USB, Tommy only had what his driver had told him and his own gut feeling.
Besides, Oliver should already have an inkling as to what was going on. He'd been the one to text Tommy about the supposed bruise on Cali's arm after the shooting at the auction. Tommy knew his friend - Oliver wasn't stupid enough to miss putting the pieces together.
So how much further to elaborate?
"Tommy?" Oliver's voice had gotten some of the steel back into it, the low and open tone locked away once more. Tommy wasn't sure if that helped or made things worse.
He scrubbed at his face. "Malcolm wants to meet with me and Cali tomorrow night," he explained finally. "But I don't want him near Cali. That bruise you saw? It came from him, and I..." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I think he's drugging her."
Oliver was quiet for a moment, the background noises only amplified by his lack of speaking. If Tommy strained himself, he could hear Moira talking. It was anybody's guess who she was talking to. It could be Thea, or Walter, or a random police officer who was stationed there to make sure Oliver wasn't a flight risk.
There was a knock to his left and Tommy whipped his head around, meeting Cali's concerned eyes with a wince. She was pressed against the inside of the glass, watching his phone with a frown. Tommy tried for a smile, holding up one window. 'Just give me a minute,' he mouthed, and Cali nodded, albeit reluctantly, turning away with one last disapproving twitch of her mouth.
Something gave a twinge in Tommy's chest.
"Alright," Oliver said finally. He sounded tired, as though the stress of pretending was getting to him. Tommy wasn't an idiot. He knew that the Oliver they all saw wasn't the Oliver that came back. It was just that Tommy knew about trauma, and what it did to people, what it had done to Cali. He knew about coping strategies and pretending and nightmares and PTSD.
"Don't worry," he sighed into the phone. Oliver made a small noise of protest. "No, seriously. I'm just... I'm just being paranoid. Malcolm's fine; me and Cali will be fine." Tommy busted out a bitter laugh, wincing at the sour taste on his tongue. "I'm stressing over nothing."
Oliver sounded strained when he said, "It's not nothing to be afraid of family, Tommy."
"Oliver, it's okay. I'm sorry for bothering you."
"Tommy."
"Thanks, Oliver. We'll be over later this afternoon. I think Cali wants to catch you up on the movies you missed while you were away."
"Tommy, listen-"
"Bye Ollie."
Tommy hung up before Oliver could protest further. The phone stayed glued to his palm for a moment, warm and heavy. He could call Oliver back. He could call Laurel. He could even call his father and finally say everything he'd ever wanted to since his mother died.
Tommy put the phone in his pocket, turned on his heel, and entered the bookstore for a second time.
Cali was waiting for him at the front counter, making idle talk with Madge. Both women were tense, stress so deeply engraved upon their bodies that it was likely they would never fully let it go, but Cali made the effort to relax when Tommy brushed a careful hand over her shoulders and settled in the space beside her.
"Madge," he greeted properly. "How are you today?"
Madge smiled her gummy smile. "Better now my two favourite customers are here."
Tommy felt himself soften, the bitterness he'd been holding close to his chest dissolving into a familiar ease. "Come now," he said scoldingly. "We both know that Cali is the customer. I'm just here to look pretty."
"And indeed, pretty you are," Madge agreed.
Cali gently tapped her fingers on the stack of books on the counter in a stuttering rhythm, looking for all the world like she wanted to say something but couldn't find the right words to do so. It was a look Tommy was familiar with, so he bid Madge good day, gathered Cali's new acquisitions and guided her outside.
They walked in silence for a while after Cali had declined the offer to call for Parker to drive them back to the Queen mansion. Tommy figured that would come later, once his sister finally said what was bothering her. He couldn't help until she opened up. He always hated not helping.
They passed down many, many streets before Cali finally sighed and asked, "When are we meeting with Malcolm?"
And well, shit.
Damn his sister to Hell and back for being so perceptive and attuned to Tommy's emotional reactions to things. It made everything infinitely harder when she knew what was going on even without knowing what was going on.
Still, Tommy didn't have to surrender yet. "Huh?" He tried, hoping that playing dumb would get her off his back.
Cali gave him a flat look, lips pursed. "You get a certain look on your face when you're dealing with Malcolm. Is that who you were talking to?"
Double damn. Having a tell made everything so much worse. Tommy already knew he was crap at keeping secrets, just like he was terrible at bluffing, but there was something deeply unsettling about the knowledge that he could be so blatantly transparent. He should be a little better than that at least.
"Malcolm texted, yes, but I was talking to Oliver on the phone. I was hoping he could put me in touch with the vigilante, you know, so I could arrange for Malcolm to have an 'accident'." Tommy watched his attempt at humour fall flat. Cali's expression pinched and twisted strangely. "I think I just needed to hear Oliver so I knew I wasn't crazy for wanting... that."
Cali's expression didn't untwist, but she nudged him with her hip. "It's not crazy to want to put down a psychopath," she said nonchalantly, as though it wasn't a strange thing to call her own father a psychopath, as though it wasn't strange to want to put him down. Tommy shifted the books in his arms uncomfortably.
Logically, he knew that Malcolm wasn't a good man. He wasn't. He'd said and done horrible things, was keeping Cali on a short leash just so he could drug her and abuse her. But he was their father and there was something in Tommy that screamed protests at the thought of hating the man.
There was still part of Tommy that loved him.
He didn't know how to kill that part of him.
Sensing his internal struggle, Cali kept quiet and pulled out her phone, likely summoning a ride. They just had to make it back to her place, and then they could regroup for their visit to Oliver's place later this afternoon.
. . .
Oliver didn't know what to do.
Well, he knew what he was going to do, he'd already told Tommy about his plans for a party. Surprisingly, Tommy hadn't quite been on board with that idea, but Oliver knew that he had friendship privileges, so Tommy surrendered after a number of innuendos and plenty of 'innocent' pleading.
Cali hadn't been in the room when this had gone down of course. For some reason, she'd run off to find Thea before Oliver could even say hello.
So he didn't know what to do. He was sitting on the couch next to his best friend, his best friend who had a dick dad, and he didn't know what to do. He had plenty of plans for the future, John was on his way over right now, but when it came to Tommy and emotions and now, Oliver was adrift on a restless sea.
"Talk to me," he said quietly, giving up on any sort of plan and simply going with instinct. He'd been able to do this once, five years ago, so maybe he just had to let habit take over. "Tommy, you can't just tell me you want someone to murder your father and then laugh it off."
Tommy looked down at his hands, something like bitter bemusement pulling at his mouth. "Oliver, I'm finding that I can do a lot of things neither of us thought me capable of."
"Tommy."
It was scary, almost, the way that Tommy was shutting down on himself. Oliver remembered his friend, and while Tommy could be secretive, he wasn't the type to block everyone out so easily. Maybe the strength of his feelings towards his father had rattled him. Oliver hoped they had, because he had to admit that Tommy had shaken him too. It wasn't often that Malcolm angered his son so much that Tommy wanted him dead.
Tommy sighed and tucked his hands under his legs. "I can't make myself hate him completely," he confessed in a rush, voice just barely shaking.
Oliver didn't move, didn't change the tone of his voice. Any stupid mistakes now and Tommy would choose flee instead of fight and any hope of ever finishing this conversation would be gone. "Okay. Why is that a bad thing?"
"Because he's a horrible person! What kind of father drugs his daughter?"
The same kind of father that injected her with a prototype serum, Oliver thought, but he didn't dare say it out loud. Not yet. Tommy wasn't ready. "Did you get this from the USB?"
Probably not the best way to direct the conversation, Oliver realised as Tommy tensed up, watching Oliver carefully from the corner of his eyes. "I didn't tell you about the USB," Tommy murmured, suspicion bright in his words.
Oliver raised his hands. "Cali did."
Not enough to eradicate the suspicion completely, but enough that Tommy didn't try to run or attack. Instead, some of the stiffness to his muscles eased. Oliver relaxed in response. They'd always had that give and take, only ever responding to each other. Never jarring, never clashing. In sync, and in tune with each other in a way that could only ever come about through brotherhood.
Tommy breathed out slowly. "Have you ever thought about how messed up our lives are?"
Oliver grappled with his laugh, desperately trying to swallow back the razor sharp edge of hysterical bitterness to it that would give away far too much. Because Tommy didn't know the half of it, and Oliver couldn't tell him because Tommy wouldn't understand.
Nobody would understand.
(At one point, he'd hoped that Cali would, but that hope had dissolved the minute Cali had actually found out.)
"We just have to take it one day at a time," he said, shifting on the couch and sighing. Tommy mimicked the sigh, but didn't say anything else. Oliver winced. "When's the dinner."
Tommy's eyes dimmed. "Tonight. It's at King's Street at 9, so I figured Cali and I would just leave from here. We might come back here if it goes too horribly."
Oliver's first instinct was to tell Tommy not to go, but with his best friend's emotional state so unsteady, Oliver wasn't sure Tommy wouldn't fall apart. And Oliver would be the damned Hood and watch over them if he could, but his plan required him to stay home, to stay on house arrest, and John was already going to be doing something else.
So Oliver just said, "I'd offer to come with you, but..."
Tommy's lips quirked in a strange, bitter, half-smile. "Yeah Ollie," he said thickly. "I know you would."
And really, what more could either of them say?