When Levi awoke, all he saw was darkness. Only, he thought his eyes were open. He tried opening them again, but still nothing.
He didn't allow himself to panic, instead focusing on what he could derive from his other senses. He was lying on something soft and covered with a blanket – so a bed, probably. He could feel various injuries all over his body, though none of them seemed serious. And...that was it.
He decided to try moving. Maybe he could feel his way around in the dark...
"Levi!"
Instinctively, he relaxed at the sound of his lover's voice. A second later, he felt her hand take his, their callouses brushing against each other.
"(F/n)?" he muttered. "I can't see you. What's going on?"
She made a soft sound, like a gasp, then asked delicately, "What's the last thing you remember?"
Levi thought back. "We were outside the Walls, fighting titans in a village. And..." His brow furrowed as he tried to recall what had happened next. "I don't know."
(F/n) sighed, a hint of sadness in her voice.
"What happened?" Levi pressed. "Why can't I see anything?"
She squeezed his hand. "They were testing some explosives, and apparently, you got too close. The doctors said you weren't hurt badly, except..." She took a deep breath, then murmured, "Don't worry. It's only temporary, but...the doctors said you're going to be blind for a little while."
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(F/n) hadn't left Levi's side since she told him the news last night, and Levi couldn't have been more grateful to her. Although he would never admit it, being blind had left him terrified. What if there was some kind of threat? He wouldn't be able to fight. He wouldn't even be able to see it coming.
Things got a little awkward when she had to help him find his way in the bathroom and the shower, but he felt more comfortable with her than he would have with anyone else, and she didn't seem to mind. And nothing was more calming than wrapping his arms around her at night, feeling her next to him, falling asleep in her embrace.
Since training was out of the question, Levi and (f/n) spent most of the day going through his paperwork. The task was even more tedious than usual, because (f/n) had to read everything to him, then direct his hand when he had to sign a document. The whole affair was giving Levi a headache. He hated that he couldn't even perform the most basic of tasks on his own.
Sensing his mood, (f/n) murmured, "Hey, why don't I go make us some tea? I'll be right back, okay?"
No. It wasn't okay. Levi couldn't bear to be alone, not now. Yet, at the same time, he could never admit that he was afraid. He could never beg (f/n) to take him with her. He would just have to suck it up. It was only for a few minutes, after all. He should be able to manage that much.
Levi gave (f/n) a terse nod. She rubbed his arm in a comforting gesture before heading off to the kitchen.
With nothing else to do, Levi waited. And waited. And waited.
"Tch," he growled. Although he couldn't see the clock, he was certain that (f/n) should have been back by now. Where was she?
As he continued to wait, fear slowly crept in. Even though HQ was relatively safe, all things considered, he hated not knowing what was going on around him. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. He would just have to go find (f/n) himself.
Slowly and carefully, Levi felt his way out of his office. It wasn't too difficult, as he was quite familiar with the area. However, when he got out into the corridors, he became less confident with every step.
Was it the second left or the third? Had he missed a turn somewhere? Was there always a window here?
After several minutes of wandering around, Levi had to admit that he was lost. He stopped, leaning against the wall that he had been using as a guide, and forced himself not to panic.
Instead, Levi listened. He soon heard the sound of footsteps echoing off the walls, accompanied by a pair of excited voices. Swallowing his pride, he muttered, "Excuse me?"
The noises stopped for a second.
"Oh, Captain! Do you need something?" The kind voice belonged to Christa Lenz.
Well, Levi supposed it could have been worse. At least it wasn't Mikasa.
"I'm looking for Captain (l/n)," he explained. "Do you know where she is?"
"I think she was with Section Commander Hanji," Christa replied cheerily.
Hanji? Great, they could literally be anywhere. What happened to making tea?
"Oh. Thank you," Levi grumbled.
Awkward silence fell, and Levi could practically feel the stares from Christa and whomever was with her.
"Um...would you like Armin and me to take you to her?" Christa asked, clearly trying to sound normal.
Levi gritted his teeth. He had no other choice. "Yes," he bit out. "Thank you."
"No problem!" Christa chimed. "May I take your arm?"
Levi nodded, allowing the cadet to guide him through the castle. She and Armin chatted the whole way, as if the current situation wasn't horribly awkward. Then again, Levi recalled that Christa had volunteered at the military hospital, so perhaps she was used to dealing with invalids. Like him.
They stopped, and someone knocked on a door. "Section Commander?" Christa called. "Captain Levi is looking for Captain (l/n). Is she still with you?"
The door opened. "Ah, Levi!" Hanji exclaimed. "Out and about, eh? Well, I'm sorry, but (f/n) left a few minutes ago. I think she said she was going to the kitchen."
Christa thanked Hanji, then continued to guide Levi through the castle.
As they walked, the heat in Levi's cheeks grew. He hated this – being forced to let a cadet lead him around like a child, his weakness on display for the entire regiment to see. It was humiliating.
At last, Christa said, "Oh, there you are, Captain (l/n)! Captain Levi was looking for you."
"Levi!" (f/n) chimed. Then, "Thanks for bringing him here, you two."
"Not a problem!" Christa replied happily.
As the cadets left, (f/n) took his hands. "I'm sorry," she began. "Hanji needed my help for a few minutes, so I only just started making the tea. But it should be ready soon –"
She stopped talking when Levi wrapped her in a hug, burying his face in her chest. "I don't care," he mumbled. "Just...take me back to our room. Please."
Everything he had felt over the past several minutes – fear, uncertainty, weakness, shame, humiliation – had left him completely drained. Drained, and frustrated. He just wanted it to be over. He wanted to go to bed and forget the whole thing.
Damn it, he wanted to see again.
(F/n) instantly folded her arms around him, running her fingers through his hair in a soothing motion. "Hey, what's the matter?" she breathed, worry filling her voice.
Levi shook his head. He didn't want to talk about it, not in the kitchen. Not when he couldn't see if there were people around to hear.
"Okay," (f/n) murmured gently. "Don't worry. We'll go back."
As she guided him through the halls, Levi could still swear that he felt people's eyes on him. However, he tried to ignore the sensation and instead focus on (f/n). Knowing that she was back at his side helped him relax a little, though his frustration didn't wane.
Once they had returned to the privacy of their own room, (f/n) sat with Levi on the bed, holding him close while he explained everything that had happened. Everything that he had felt.
"My love, I'm so sorry," (f/n) whispered when he was done. "This is my fault. I shouldn't have left you alone. I just thought that you might want a few minutes to yourself, since I hadn't really given you any space after you were hurt. But I should have asked what you wanted. I'm sorry."
"No, don't be sorry," Levi muttered. "It's not your fault. It's just...this injury..." He trailed off, sighing in irritation.
(F/n) gently cupped his face in her hand, stroking her thumb across his cheek. "Levi, you don't have to be embarrassed because of it. No one in this regiment thinks any less of you."
Levi remained silent, unable to believe her. How could he? He couldn't see. He couldn't fight. He needed to be guided everywhere, helped with every little task. Of course it was embarrassing.
(F/n) stroked his cheek again as she continued softly, "Hey, when you see a soldier in a wheelchair, or a soldier who has lost an arm, do you look down on them? Do you think they're a burden, or that they should be ashamed, or that they're weak?"
Levi drew back, appalled at the idea. "No, of course not," he stated. "Those soldiers were injured while fighting for humanity. They're heroes. They're..." He stopped, suddenly realizing the point that (f/n) was trying to make.
"You understand?" she asked. "You don't have to be embarrassed, because no one gawks at you like a sideshow, and no one thinks any less of you. We all know how strong you are. You just need a little help right now, and we're more than happy to give it. God knows you've helped all of us more times than we can count."
Levi's brows drew together as he let (f/n)'s words sink in. Although it was difficult for him to dismiss all those negative feelings, and to swallow his pride, he knew deep down that she was right.
Levi loosed a breath, letting it all go. "Thank you, (f/n)," he murmured.
"You're welcome," she replied, and he could hear the smile in her voice.
In that moment, Levi wanted nothing more than to see that beautiful smile, to kiss those perfect lips. But he was still lost in the dark.
"(F/n), I..." he muttered, but he was unable to finish the sentence. Even though he knew he shouldn't, he still felt awkward having to ask her for affection.
However, (f/n) seemed to understand. She took his hand in her own, placing it against her cheek, his thumb coming to rest on her lips.
Levi marveled at the sensation, at how soft her lips were underneath his skin. He had felt them before, of course, but now that his sense of sight was dulled, his sense of touch had heightened. He traced them, slowly, again and again, feeling the gentle curves that he could still see so vividly in his mind.
He continued his exploration, raising his other hand to brush over the rest of her face. His fingers found her silky hair, her closed eyelids, her cheeks, her chin, the curve of her jaw.
(F/n) sat still, slightly leaning into his touch, allowing him to memorize with his hands what he already had with his eyes.
Finally, his fingers returned to her lips, resting there for a moment. Then Levi leaned in slowly, replacing his fingertips with a careful kiss.
As her lips molded to his, Levi forgot his blindness, because he had done this so many times without using his sight at all. So many times, he had willingly closed his eyes to savor the way she felt, the way she tasted. And just like always, (f/n) took his breath away.
Levi continued to press kisses everywhere he could – from the top of her head, to her cheeks, to her jaw, all the way down to her neck. As he did so, he cherished not only the way she felt, but also the sound of her soft sighs, letting him know how much she enjoyed this. How much she loved him.
When he was done – when his hands and lips had memorized every part of her perfect face – she returned his affections with her own, pressing soft kisses to his eyelids, then to the dark bags underneath.
"(F/n)?" Levi questioned hesitantly. "Do you think, maybe, we could have that tea now?"
She touched her lips to his forehead, and a moment later, Levi realized that it was so he could feel her smile. "Of course we can," she murmured. "Would you like to come with me while I make it?"
Warmth filled his chest, and Levi couldn't help smiling in return. "I would like that very much," he replied.