Summary: Draco and Hermione, now happily married, have decided they want a baby. Unfortunately, fate doesn't seem to want the same thing for them and instead, they struggle to conceive a child while their friends can't seem to stop having them.
Warning: This one-shot deals with miscarriages and can be upsetting to some readers. Read at your own discretion.
Hermione wanted to cry and stomp her foot like a child as she listened to Ginny talk about her pregnancy. It's not that Ginny complained too much about it or rubbed it in her face, it was just that Hermione felt like it was too easy. Ginny had just had a baby boy a year ago and she and Harry were already expecting another child without even trying. Hermione and Draco had spent the better half of the past three years trying to have a child and it so far had only been a failure.
"Teddy has been helping more with James, though, which is just adorable," Ginny said. She sighed and took a sip of her tea before frowning at Hermione. "Hermione? Are you feeling alright?"
Hermione nodded quickly and reached for her tea as well.
"Yes, just a little tired," she lied smoothly. Playing Draco Malfoy's wife for the past seven years had improved her ability to lie, even to her best friends. She would never tell Ginny she hated her for getting pregnant, so she'd taken to lying more often.
Ginny, unfortunately, looked doubtful. Before she could press, Teddy came running into the drawing room with little James toddling along behind him.
"Mummy, James is stinky," he exclaimed. Ginny sighed and picked up James, struggling to balance him on her lap with her stomach as big as it was. Teddy pushed up against her and James wobbled a little too precariously, coming dangerously close to the edge of the table.
"I'll change him," Hermione offered. She stood up abruptly and took James from Ginny's lap.
"Are you sure? You don't have—"
"Yeah, I've got it," Hermione interrupted. She grabbed the diaper bag beside Ginny's seat and laid James on the floor. She got right to work changing James's diaper and making him laugh while she did it.
James was bubbling with giggles and Hermione was cooing at him sweetly when Draco walked into the drawing room with Harry at his side. He paused, watching Hermione for a moment before walking further into the room.
"Daddy!" Teddy screamed, running from Ginny's side to hug Harry tightly. James jumped in surprise before wiggling out of Hermione's reach at the sight of his dad. Hermione sighed, letting him leave with just his diaper, and packed the diaper bag back up for Ginny.
Draco stepped past Harry and walked over to Hermione so he could steal a kiss. She smiled, melting into his arms as soon as he'd hugged her. While Harry talked to his kids and Ginny attempted to stand up on her own, Draco pulled Hermione close and kissed her deeply. She was a little caught off guard by the intensity of the kiss with the Potters still in the room, but she was never one to stop him.
"Go say goodbye to Auntie Mione," Harry said, his voice breaking Hermione and Draco apart. Teddy and James were hugging Hermione's legs tightly a minute later.
"Thank you for having us, Hermione," Ginny said, holding Harry's hand in one hand and her pregnant stomach in the other. Hermione smiled and nodded, promising she'd be over to visit later that week.
They all said goodbye once more before taking the Floo back to their own home. As soon as the Potters had left, Hermione slumped against Draco and he pressed his lips to her head.
"Ginny?" he asked. She nodded against his chest and he pursed his lips. He hated how upset she got whenever one of their friends got pregnant. There wasn't anything he could do to help and that seemed to be the worst part. "Hey, we'll get our family some day," he said softly, pulling away so he could look down at her.
"Draco," she sighed. She closed her eyes and Draco gently kissed her cheeks. "Maybe we aren't meant to have a baby. What if the world just hates us?"
"There's always adoption, love," Draco reminded her. Hermione sighed again but didn't argue. Instead, she let Draco pull her closer and kiss her again, deeper this time. She let him tug off her shirt and trail kisses down her neck, but he seemed to understand she wasn't in the mood and didn't push it any further. "I love you," he murmured.
Hermione just hummed in response.
* * * * *
It was positive. That was the only thing Hermione seemed to be thinking. Well, that and the other two times she'd received a positive result. This time, though, it seemed more certain. She'd done the pregnancy test both the muggle way and the magical way as soon as she'd been suspicious and now, a month later, she'd done so again. There was no doubt about it now, though, as she'd just missed her second period and had the positive test results to prove it.
"Hermione?" Draco asked, knocking on the bathroom door. Hermione jumped and vanished the muggle test. She quickly flushed the toilet and walked out of the bathroom. "Merlin, what were you doing in there? You're going to be late for work if you don't hurry."
Hermione rushed past him to get dressed, lost in thought even as she Flooed to the Ministry. She wouldn't tell Draco until she was past her first trimester, that much she was sure of. The last two times she'd been pregnant, she'd ended up losing the baby before the third month. It had been hard enough to work through the first time and Hermione wasn't sure she could watch Draco mourn for their dead child a third time. No, she would wait until the biggest risk was over and then she would tell Draco.
She'd have to go to a doctor, of course, to really know how far along she was. Seeing as she didn't want the wizarding world to know she was pregnant like the first time, she scheduled an appointment in muggle London and told Draco she was visiting her mother.
It took two weeks before she was able to visit the muggle doctor's office and when she was finally walking into an examination room, she was bursting with nervous energy.
"Hello, Mrs. Malfoy," the doctor said, smiling kindly at her. "I understand you're here for a pregnancy check up?"
"Yes," Hermione nodded. The doctor motioned for her to lie down and Hermione felt like she was holding her breath through the entire appointment.
"You're almost three months along, by the looks of it," the doctor said. By the end of next week, she should reach the second semester. The doctor asked if she'd been pregnant before, and Hermione very quietly admitted that she had, but both pregnancies had ended in a miscarriage. "You're very close to getting past the most at risk time," the doctor said kindly. Hermione nodded as the doctor gave her some advice to help limit the risks even more before sending her on her way.
Hermione, of course, almost didn't dare to hope. She spent most nights wide awake, praying to any and every deity she could think of and begging them to please let this baby live. As she came to the end of her first trimester that week, she began to think maybe this would be their lucky baby.
"Hermione?"
She looked up to see her assistant standing in the doorway.
"Mr. Beniscole is here to assist with the runes translation," Jenny said. Hermione nodded and rearranged her desk to accommodate her visitor. She twisted in her chair to put a file away and felt her abdomen cramp painfully at the motion. It wasn't the first time she'd had the pain that day, but it was certainly sharper than before. Straightening out, Hermione grimaced only slightly before standing up to greet Mr. Beniscole.
"I'm so glad you could come in," she said. She offered him a seat and sat back down in hers. As she pulled out the file containing the runes, Mr. Beniscole asked her about her work as a translator and the case he'd been brought in on. Hermione wriggled uncomfortably as her abdomen continued to cramp, but talked with Mr. Beniscole kindly.
It took three hours of the both of them working through the runes before they finally managed to translate them. By the time they were finished, Hermione's stomach was growling and cramping painfully, but she managed to smile and walk him out. As she turned to return to her office, Jenny spoke up.
"Mrs. Malfoy?" she asked. Hermione twisted around to look at her. "I think your cycle has started."
Hermione's eyes widened and Jenny rushed to reassure her.
"Oh, I doubt Mr. Beniscole noticed!" she promised, but that was not what Hermione was most worried about. "I just thought you might want to know. I can cover for you if you'd like to run home and change."
"Yes, thank you, Jenny," Hermione said numbly. She hurried back into her office and activated the Floo. When she arrived back home, she burst into her and Draco's shared bathroom in a panic.
With tears in her eyes, Hermione turned in the mirror to see blood covering the back of her robes. Hermione muffled a sob and tore off her robes, scratching her arms in the process. She stripped completely naked and shook with more sobs as she stared at the red on her under garments.
Grabbing her dressing robe, Hermione ran towards her dresser and grabbed her mobile to phone her muggle doctor. She needed to be sure before jumping to conclusions even if it didn't look like there was really any other option.
The muggle doctor managed to clear an opening just for Hermione that afternoon. Hermione changed into new clothes and took the bus to the doctor's office numbly. When the doctor called her to a back room, Hermione began to shake once more and prepared herself for the inevitable. She closed her eyes tightly when the doctor started the examination and let out a soft cry when the doctor sucked in a sharp breath.
"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Malfoy," was all Hermione heard before she broke down entirely.
* * * * *
Draco almost did it. He had come so, so close before remembering that they were in public and the last thing he wanted was for the Daily Prophet to announce he had punched Harry Potter's face in. Just because his son had been born two weeks ago did not give the git the right to talk about him every second he got.
Thankfully for Draco, Potter seemed to pick up on this fact and promptly changed the subject.
"Has Hermione been acting strange at home?" he asked. Draco blinked, still busy imagining what it would feel like to punch the Golden Boy in the face. "Ginny said she started crying during their tea on Sunday and when I talked to her the other day, she seemed upset."
Draco thought for a moment, trying to remember if Hermione had been acting strange recently. Aside from always being tired, she'd seemed normal. Then again, she'd been staying at the office late and he hadn't seen her all that often in the past month.
"A little," Draco admitted. Harry sighed and Draco raised an eyebrow at him.
"I know Ginny and I are probably hard to listen to when all we talk about is the kids," Harry said. Draco resisted the urge to glare at him, but didn't bother reassuring him. "You two have been trying for years and we keep having kids on accident. I'm sorry we haven't been a little more understanding about it either."
"You can't help it, Potter," Draco said tightly. He really didn't want to talk about this right now. "If it comes down to it, we'll adopt. Now, can we please stop talking about it?"
Harry didn't look happy about it, but he obliged.
* * * * *
Hermione didn't tell Draco about baby number three. Instead, she burned the little onesie she'd bought and destroyed the card she'd written him. She took the following day off of work, claiming to have a headache, and then spent the day crying and trying to convince herself it would be okay. She cried during her lunch breaks the following week.
It was almost a month later when she had tea with Narcissa that she finally exploded. Their semi-annual tea meetings had always been a bit of a strain on Hermione as it was, but when Narcissa asked how long they were planning on waiting before giving her grandchildren, Hermione had exploded.
Narcissa, of course, had known about Hermione's first miscarriage, but not the two following. Only Ginny, Harry, and Mrs. Granger knew about the second miscarriage aside from her and Draco while only Hermione knew about the third.
"I know your first pregnancy was a little bumpy," Narcissa had said casually, "But I hope you know you will be expected to produce an heir soon. Ideally, it would have been years ago, but it's never too late."
The china tea set had exploded before Hermione could even think about it and she was on her feet a second later.
"You have no idea what Draco and I have been through," she had sneered. Narcissa had sat there calmly while Hermione yelled at her for her assumptions. The second Hermione took a breath, Narcissa ordered her out of the Manor and Hermione hadn't hesitated to leave.
She'd come home only five minutes ago and already, the bedroom was a mess and she could hardly breathe from crying so hard.
"Hermione?"
She let out another sob and Draco was kneeling in front of her a moment later.
"Hermione, what happened?" he asked softly, pulling her hands from her face gently and attempting to hug her. She flinched away and curled in on herself instead. At the look of hurt on Draco's face, she let out a whimper and hid her face once more. "Hermione? I thought you were at tea with my mother. What happened?"
"Your mother—" she gasped, looking up at him. She struggled to breathe with her snot filled nose and Draco immediately began to panic.
"Did she do something? Merlin, Hermione, are you hurt? Was my father there?" he demanded, grabbing hold of her firmly but not painfully. While Narcissa had managed to be civil towards Hermione, Lucius was still cruel whenever she was in his presence.
"Your mother is a cruel woman and I will never have tea with her again," Hermione said, pushing him away from her and standing up. Draco got to his feet as well and tried to ask what happened once more, but Hermione wasn't finished speaking. "She's always asking when I'll give you an heir—always! It's like she's forgotten everything we've been through. She doesn't care how hard I've tried or—or—" She gasped for a few seconds, trying to get some air before continuing. "—that we've mourned three children! She just cares about having an heir and I will never, not ever have tea with her again!"
She crumbled forward into Draco's arms and broke down. Draco held her tightly and ran a hand through her hair soothingly. The soft words he spoke didn't seem to do anything and eventually he gave up speaking. Instead, he held her until she stopped crying and pressed kisses all over her head until she was hardly sniffling. When he was certain she was feeling better, he pulled back to look at her.
"Hermione?" he asked gently. She blinked at him. "You said three children, but we've only had two."
Hermione's eyes watered again and Draco felt his heart plummet as she pulled away from him, pressing her hand over her mouth. It took him a second to understand what she was whispering under her palm.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, shaking her head as she spoke. "I'm so, so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
"Hermione, stop," he said, reaching for her quickly. She struggled against him for only a few seconds before giving up and looking away. "Hermione, you have to talk to me. What happened?"
"I didn't tell you," she said, still avoiding his eyes. "I was pregnant and I miscarried again, so I didn't tell you. I couldn't and I'm so sorry."
Draco went numb as he processed her words. She started crying again, but rather than pulling away like she had the last few times, she dropped her head to his chest and clung to him desperately.
She'd been pregnant, miscarried for a third time, and hadn't breathed a word to him. He wasn't sure if he should be sad for never knowing his child or worried that she'd kept it from him.
"How long ago?" he whispered. Hermione tensed and he looked down at her. "How long has it been?"
"Almost two months," she whispered. Draco's eyes stung and he gently cupped Hermione's face. "I went to a muggle doctor so no one would find out. I didn't want to upset you."
"Hermione," he breathed. He kissed her nose, her forehead, both of her cheeks, and finally her lips. It was a soft kiss and when he pulled away, more tears had made their way down his face. "You shouldn't have gone through that alone. I'm your husband; I'm supposed to be there for you for things like this."
"I know," she said, her voice cracking slightly. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, then looked back up at him. "I know you are, but I just—Draco, you were so upset by the first two, I couldn't put you through that again. You were never meant to find out."
Draco shook his head sadly and pressed his lips to her temple, pausing for several seconds before pulling away.
"I'm glad I know now," he told her. "I wish you had told me sooner, but I know now and that's okay. Just—promise me you'll tell me first next time, yeah?"
Hermione nodded weakly and Draco pulled her to his chest, almost crushing her with how tight her hugged her. The room was quiet for several minutes before either of them spoke.
"I'm sorry about my mother," Draco said. He kissed her head and hugged her tighter. "She had no right and she knows as much."
"I over reacted," Hermione murmured, already feeling guilty about the tea. Draco shook his head, insisting it was not her fault and his mother needed to do better.
"We've been married for seven years," Draco reminded her, "My mother should know better."
"She just wants an heir," Hermione said, looking away from Draco as she said it. Draco gently grabbed her chin and brought her eyes back to his.
"We can adopt, Hermione," he replied. She opened her mouth to argue, but Draco cut her off. "Adopted or not, they'll still be our children. We can save a child's life and have our happy family all the same. I don't need to be a biological father, Hermione, and I certainly don't want to see you keep tearing yourself up over this."
"It's important to you, Draco," she argued. Draco shook his head.
"No, you're important to me," he said. He pressed his forehead to hers and closed her eyes. "No more of this, alright? We'll look into adoption and make our family our own way, alright?"
Hermione took a deep breath, but nodded with a small smile.
"Alright," she agreed.