If I was a real girl my mouth would be watering while I watch one of my men cut into a slice of chocolate cake. I have no idea what chocolate cake tastes like but it's the first food I'm trying when I get to being corporeal. I want chocolate and I want an orgasm, not necessarily in that order.
I've been a ghost for at least four decades now but for the past five I've been following around a group of supernatural investigators. At first it was the action and excitement that drew me to them but what made me want to stay is the intense draw I felt towards them after sticking around for a while. They work like a seamless unit and their brotherly relationship warms my ghostly heart. They all have their own shit they deal with but each one of them knows they have the others for support and love. It is something you don't find often in the human world. Humans tend to be selfish and idiotic. Watching them fuck up their short lives in idiotic ways almost caused me to lose all hope. I was planning on fading out of existence actually. I had been slowly becoming less and less visible, even to myself, during the last five years on the human side of things. I had become a mindless, hopeless shell of myself until I saw these guys at a club I was haunting.
Ever since then I haven't been able to tear myself away from them. Between their action hero shenanigans and their loving relationship, I was hooked. Now if only I could find out who or what I was. If I'm feeling a lot of emotion I can occasionally move something but I wouldn't be able to take a book down and read it or start up a computer and start searching. It's why I stopped a long time ago. I simply decided to become whoever I wanted to be. When you live for 40 years of your existence with no one but yourself you soon learn that the only moral compass that matters is your own. There's no one else around to ever lecture you or give any sort of advice so you just have to make due with what you got.
I watch from my perch on the counter as Drazik scrapes the plate clean and licks the chocolate off of the fork in a way that makes me wonder what else he could do with that tongue. Luckily for me they don't bring the women they sleep with home so I don't have to watch any of that and because they're gentlemen they don't kiss and tell so thankfully I don't have to hear about it either. I've been trying for the few years to possess a woman simply so I could have some sort of real interaction with one of them but apparently I'm not that kind of ghost.
My eyes are roaming over Drazik's large muscular frame and squared jawline when I hear the front door open. Knowing it's another one of the guys I keep examining the man in front of me. His deep ocean blue eyes dart to the door before he gets up, running a hand through his short cropped black hair, and taking his plate to the dishwasher.
"Meeting!" Forrest calls from just inside the door once he has his shoes off.
I watch as the gargoyle makes his way to the living room to sit in his usual seat. I hop off the counter top and make my way over to the living room, sitting in my usual spot, the forgotten stool shoved into the corner of the room. Once the men are settled I'll move but I'll stay here until then. I look over Forrest as he releases the tension from his body. His chocolate brown hair falls in loose curls to the middle of his ear but is styled back and away from his face. His light green eyes close for a minute while he lays his head on the back of the chair as he waits for his brothers to join him. He has an angled face that belongs in magazines. It almost looks like he was cut from stone instead of birthed with his perfectly sculpted jaw and high cheekbones.
Pretty soon the rest of the men file in and I look over all of them, gauging the seriousness of this meeting. I conclude that, based on everyone's body language, it's not a very serious meeting, just a check in. Once everyone is seated I make my way over to sit on the couch between Kieran and Leandre. These two are the lighthearted ones in the group. They're always making light of any situation and trying to have fun. They're badass when they need to be, don't get me wrong, but they have a more light-hearted energy than the rest.
I look over at Kieran and reach my hand up into his hair. It's a soft reddish brown that hangs casually down to his shoulders. I'm well aware that I can't actually touch it but I'm hoping that one of these days I'll be able to. A girl can hope. He has vivid green eyes that are accentuated by the red in his hair and they're always alight with mischief. The angles of his face are softer but just as stunning as the others. I don't actually know exactly what he is in terms of supernatural. They all have known each other for so long that they don't need to reference what the others are. It's easy to tell what supes are if they shift or if they have tell tale signs of any breed but I haven't been able to discern if Kieran is an incubus, siren, or some other sort of persuasive and sexually charged being. All I know is, that Scottish accent of his can sway just about anyone into doing what he wants.
I move my eyes over to Leandre who's supernatural breed I also haven't been able to discern. He's incredibly fast, strong, and has some sort of mental manipulation ability but, based on what I've seen in the past five years, there's a lot of breeds that are able to do those things. Regardless of what breed he is though, he is a good man. He's a doctor so he is always the one to have to fix up these loveable idiots when they get themselves hurt. He's kind and gentle and I love him for it. I once watched as he rehabilitated one of my raven friends that had flown into one of their windows. Oh yeah I forgot to mention, some animals can see me. Ravens, some dog breeds, and cats for sure. Other's might be able to but that's just what I've been able to interact with thus far.
I smile as I look at the kind doctor's face. He has a prominent forehead and a strong cheekbones. He has dirty blonde hair that's shaved on the sides with long hair in the middle that's been braided into an intricate chord that reaches to just past the nape of his neck. Luckily for my wandering eyes he's wearing a short sleeve shirt today that perfectly accents his intricate and knotted tattoos that run up the entirety of both arms and work their way across his upper back and chest. I'm not sure where he's from but his light blue eyes hold a savage glint in their depths that only comes out when him or one of his brother's in in danger.
"Any updates thus far?" Forrest asks the group.
I look to Emerson, knowing he'll be the first to say anything. His supernatural origins have always been easy to spot with his pointed ears and aristocratic, cat-like features. His elven heritage can be seen in the way that his lithe and toned body moves. Everything he does is precise and I appreciate that about him. He doesn't mince words, he just gets to the heart of it. Same goes with combat, there's no flourish in his fighting, he goes for the kill in the most precise and direct way possible. His amber eyes and light blonde hair glint in the fading sunlight of the day as he goes over the facts in his head before speaking.
"I'm a few days away from getting the name of one of the higher ups in the organization we're tracking. When I have it, you'll have it."
Forrest nods, "Good. Anything else?"
"I got word of possible human cargo moving through Hell's Bend this weekend." Drazik adds, "I think we should be there."
"Agreed." Everyone says in unison.
I smile at the guys, "You guys are taking me to a club?" I fist pump the air, "Hell yeah! We never do that enough." I point at Forrest, "You need to take everyone out for fun more often. All work and no play makes for a sour gargoyle."
"Do you have a time frame for this cargo?" Forrest asks.
"Saturday night around 11pm." Drazik tells them.
Everyone winces, "That's a right busy time for Hell's Bend." Kieran interjects with a smile, "Try and keep up with me will ye?"
I raise my hand, "I will! I swear though if I have to watch you butter up another female Kieran I won't talk to you for at least a week." I give him my scariest glare even though he can't see me.
Forrest nods, "Drazik and Emerson stay on the outskirts near any exits since crowds aren't your things. Leandre and Kieran I want you guys in with the crowd, figure out what you can. I'll be at the bar with my com link in to observe everything from that vantage point as well as see if I can't get a meeting with Neal to make it look like we have a reason to be there that won't give away the real reason for our presence."
"You come up with the best plans Forrest." I point at all of them, "No flirting. I hate when y'all do that around me." I roll my eyes, yeah right Raven, like you'd ever be able to stop them from doing shit that makes them happy. "Once I'm corporeal though we're going to have some chats."
"Sounds good. Pizza should be here shortly guys. What movie are we thinking for this evening?" Emerson says, ending the meeting.
"High body count please!" I ask my companions who can't hear me.
I love Wednesdays simply because it's movie and pizza night. No one ever plans anything for Wednesday evenings because it's always been movie and pizza night. Sometimes, when they can't think of a movie, they play a board game or cards. The board game evenings aren't horrible but I don't like them nearly as much as movie nights. When you can't press a button because you don't have a real body it makes it real hard to watch tv unless someone else it watching it already. Everyone thinks on what movie to watch for a moment before a few movies are suggested. Drazik, my man, suggests deadpool, a classic. Emerson suggests a good documentary he's been hearing about online,
"While that sound fascinating Em," I tell him, "I never get to watch tv unless it's with you and it's a documentary, let's watch something that has at least a little action."
"I'd suggest John Wick 3 but after the first one the fight scenes got so unrealistic and I can't watch that shit anymore." Kieran says.
"How about a classic? Old black and white?" Forrest suggests.
"Come on, man! We did that last week." I turn to Leandre, "Do your peacekeeping thing and pick a good one."
"How about that movie about aliens coming down to earth and the scientists try and communicate with them via translators? Arrival I think it's called?" Leandre chimes in.
I cock my head to the side, "Aliens? Well that has some potential for violence. Let's go with that one guys."
Everyone settles on Arrival and it gets pulled up on the screen just as the pizza arrives. I quickly look down realizing that the pair of jeans and leather jacket I have on aren't suitable movie watching material before I imagine myself up a onesie with pizza slices printed on it. Once it's on I consider myself properly prepared for movie watching and wait until the guys have assembled their usual movie feast of popcorn, m&ms, beer, and pizza before taking the couch opposite from the one I sat on earlier. This time I have Drazik and Emerson on either side of me and I snuggle down, getting comfy.
I'm almost so immersed in the movie that I don't realize everyone has finished eating and is now lounging back. I smile and lean over on Drazik. It takes some level of concentration to hover just above him and not go right through him. Luckily I've been doing this for quite some time and it's become quite second nature to me. I then reach over and rest my hand on Leandre's knee, wishing I could be corporeal more than anything.
For a minute that fearful part inside of me flares, wondering if I'm ever going to be able to be corporeal. How long will I be able to survive this one sided existence? It took around 35 years for me to become totally withdrawn from myself and almost fade so what will happen 30 years from now? What happens when these men don't live together anymore? I sit up straight and look at all the guys, my decision sinking into my bones.
"I'm going to do whatever is in my power to keep you guys together and alive for as long as you guys want." I won't want to live this existence anymore without them in it. If it gets to the point where it's them or me I'm choosing me. They don't even know I exist so there's no one for them to miss whereas if they die there's no chance I'm going to try and stick around, might as well go out with a bang. I mean it wish it wasn't an oh shit I'm about to die let me sacrifice myself- bang but instead a let me get in at least one goddamn orgasm before I'm gone from this world- bang but beggars can't be choosers.
Soon the movie is done and everyone starts moving and joking again, talking about how immersive the movie was and thanking Leandre for selecting it. I run over and hover myself off the ground enough to give each of them a kiss on the cheek. They're all at least a head and a half taller than me with Drazik and Forrest being the biggest of them at two heads taller than me so the hovering is pretty necessary if I want to show them any love.
They all go into the separate rooms to do their own things for the rest of the evening and I float through the walls into each of their rooms wishing them goodnight as they drift off to sleep. Emerson is the only one that needs little to no sleep so most of the night I spend laying on his bed and keeping him company.
He is always having to deal with the computer side of anything which means sifting through horrible things on the dark web in hopes of dismantling this trafficking ring and even though he's able to hide his emotions well I know it gets to him. It's why he always has a nature documentary on in the background. When the horrible images overwhelm him he turns and focuses on something beautiful for a little while before going back into hell. He's the quiet and stoic type but if I ever become corporeal I'm going to give him the biggest hug ever just so he knows I appreciate the hell he goes through for this team.
Sometime in the middle of the night I leave Emerson and head on over to Drazik's room. He is the most fitful sleeper by far. I'm not sure what happened in his past to cause the nightmares he suffers from now but I like to pretend my presence somehow helps him. I don't know if it actually does but he hasn't had a really bad one in a while and I totally like to think that it's because of me. I smile and pat myself on the back, good job me.