to the people who are using the comments to plot murders and argue about trivial things, i love you. please stay. enjoy. have a cookie.
also happy 20K? poggers again? what is going on?
16, 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐩
I haven't seen Clay for several days now.
Because of the trip, my boss has also taken things a little harder on me--even though I did request specifically and with enough notice that I would be going for a bit. But that's beside the point. The worst part about being worked till I drop is having to work with Olive.
She's not exactly my biggest fan.
Two days ago, she dropped a plate. I was conveniently near her at the time so she told the boss I pushed her over. For some reason unknown to me, he believed her.
Yesterday, there was a tweet on her stan account.
olive @oliveofthetree
Imagine being dumped by your friend because you're not cool enough for her and her famous friends
💬 912 🔁 781 💜 13,235
I laugh shortly.
aspen @azzpen
imagine posting a salty, misleading, manipulative tweet directed at an "anonymous" person thinking they won't clap back
💬 5,123 🔁 1,785 💜 54,192
olive @oliveofthetree
Honestly the rudest person I know
💬 496 🔁 243 💜 9,537
aspen @azzpen
💬 4,527 🔁 1,893 💜 55,948
olive @oliveofthetree
Hiding behind memes
💬 912 🔁 781 💜 13,235
aspen @azzpen
lmao you're literally hiding behind twitter
💬 912 🔁 781 💜 13,235
twitter dms
olive
olive
Fuck you
aspen
1, no you. 2, you actively used me to get to my friends. 3, i'm not a passive-aggressive person so i suggest leaving the cool side of twitter if you're expecting a bigger reaction<3
left on read
So, essentially, Olive is trying to coerce everyone into cancelling me.
But once work's over and I give her the finger and a big old, "I'm going to shit in all the food you serve," I do feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Now I'm in front of my monitors doing a Just Chatting stream.
"Chat, what are you spamming? 'Watch Minecraft Championship'? Oh, yeah, aren't they getting to the end now?"
I pull up Dream's stream. He's playing with Sapnap, George and Sylvee--and they have been for hours. I wasn't invited to this one (I didn't really want to be just yet) but I've asked to be in the next one.
I watch Dream's stream. He's complaining like crazy about how rigged everything is. They all seem very disappointed, having not been in the top 2 because of some things that happened earlier on.
"Should I join their discord, chat? They seem really sad," I remark, raising my brows at my chat. "Yes? Poggers? Alright."
I join their call.
"We could have been in the finals. We could have won that."
"Yeah, we could have won that."
"Hello, Sylvee! Oh, yeah, and the Dream Team. You're here."
"Hi," Sylvee says. Her voice is how I would imagine straight lowercase to sound like. So cute.
"HI, AZ."
"HI, AZ."
"Sapnap, literally stop copying me."
"George! I was just saying hi."
"Well, you could have said something else."
"Like what?"
"I don't know. You're from Texas so, like, howdy."
"That's so offensive."
"Hey, Az," Clay says, sighing into the mic. He sounds genuinely worn out.
I smile, bringing my mic right next to my lips. "Can I serenade you?"
"Serenade me?"
"Like a song? I wanna hear a song," Sylvee coos.
"AZ, SERENADE ME," Nick growls. "PLEASE."
"WHAT?" George yells. "SHE DOESN'T GET TO PICK AND CHOOSE WHO SHE SERENADES."
Clay scoffs. "She's serenading me, idiots. She said so herself."
"You guys are annoying. I'm serenading Sylvee. One second."
"Have I successfully brightened the mood?"
Clay laughs softly. "You always do."
"Did you hear that, chat? I'm the best part of this stream and I wasn't even participating in Minecraft Championship. I'm definitely going on next week. I mean, if I have such a substantial effect from just this, surely I'm going to win," I say sarcastically.
But I'm going to win. I'm getting Quig on my team.
...
A month later, I've got Quig on my team. And HBomb. And SmallishBeans. Yeah, suck on that, Dream. We're overpowered.
"What the hell..."
"Shit, Az, you're actually really good."
"What do you mean 'actually'?"
We all laugh at that.
"We're kidding. You know that you're better than most of the people here."
"I wouldn't go that far. I just love wrecking Dream in PVP. Did you see me kill him?"
A few hours later and we're in the finals. We're instructing each other on how to avoid getting hit by the Dodgebolt and who to give the arrows to. On the final round, all the pressure is on. First, Burren tags my teammate Quig. Burren is basically carrying Dream's team.
We jump around and Techno misses the second shot, giving us the next two. I try-hard and manage to tag Techno.
"Hell yes, Az," HBomb goes.
MichaelMcChill manages to tag SmallishBeans. My team cry out for a moment, but it's okay. Rest in peace, Smallish.
I stare Michael right in his blocky eyes for taking out my man Smallish. Then I tag him. We all cheer.
Now it's two against two, me and HBomb against Burren and Dream.
Burren tags HBomb immediately. Holy shit, this guy's insane. While they're most likely still cheering, I immediately tag Burren.
And what do you know?
It's just me and Dream.
I stare at Dream's stupid green Minecraft skin with the blocky nipple eyes. I'm reminded of when I drew them on his mask, which he didn't realise until he got to Florida. Snorting at the thought, I miss the second shot.
"Oh, shit, fuck," I mutter. "Clay's got two arrows. I'm fucked. I'm so fucked. This guy is like Katniss--"
And he tags me on the second shot.
My mouth hangs open. I stare at the screen. I don't even say anything until we're taken out of the arena and sent back to spawn, where I walk my Minecraft character over to the leaderboard. My team is disappointed, but they don't really mind. The guys are actually really chill. Now they're talking about how many viewers they've got because I'm a girl.
"Everyone's chats, I would just like to say...thank you for tuning in. I've taken an epic L today, but that's okay. You know why? Because I beat Technoblade. I tagged him, I battered him in Battle Box. That's all the affirmation I really need in life."
Quig laughs. "Az, we also got first and third on the independent leaderboard."
I practised really hard for this championship so I deserve that.
But, of course, Clay is number two...and he did better than me...
"How did we not win?" Smallish chuckles.
"Guys, let's--let's join the VC with Dream and Wilbur and stuff. I need to rant."
"Right behind you."
"BOOHOO, CRACKER," is the first thing I hear, followed by immense amounts of laughter, when I enter the VC. I can hear all of my teammates muttering swears to themselves about how loud it is.
"Am I interrupting?"
"No," Clay laughs. "But, Az, you did so well. I did not expect you to destroy us in Battle Box and Build Mart--"
"Clay," I say curtly.
Everyone goes silent. Only one "Oh, shit" can be heard from TommyInnit.
"Yes?"
"I fucking hate your green guts."
Everyone in the call bursts into laughter. I suppress the smile trying to pull at my lips.
"Aw, come on. Be proud of me."
"I didn't want you to win. If I wasn't going to win, it should have been Gogy and Samsung Refridgerator," I demand.
"I thought you guys were gonna win. You played really well, Az. Didn't you get third?"
"I'm the best."
"The best, but not as good as me," Clay teases.
"I hate you."
"They'll definitely split your team up too though," Nick chuckles, his Minecraft character staring right at me. "Y'all are too overpowered."
I feign a cry. "My brothers..."
"We did not expect her to be that good."
"Yeah, I mean, we thought Quig was gonna carry, but to be honest we wouldn't have gotten close if you weren't there, Az. Especially during Build Mart."
"Yeah, I was also so surprised at how good you were, Az."
I laugh shortly. "You were surprised? Michael, you smacked Smallish in the head in the last round of Dodgebolt."
"Hey, hey, hey, there was no smacking," Smallish defends. "That's embarrassing. Not to Michael. Anyone but Michael."
"Smallish, don't even be mad. A girl beat me up today. A girl," Technoblade goes. "My viewership...I've lost it all. She takes it all. Azzpen, you can have my subscribers. This is the fattest L I've ever taken."
I laugh. The conversation continues to flow fluidly and I sit back and listen, reading my chat and listening idly. They understand that this is all in good fun and I'm not actually mad. Thank god for my chat when it isn't littered with the bad kind of Dream stans.
There's one thing I think as Clay keeps talking about what happened during the game and his side of the story. It's a superficial thought, but it's one that makes my heart pump in my ears, even though I've taken the fattest L.
He's really cute when he's a try-hard.
And it's nice knowing that he can match me.
Because, clearly, I'm the one that he needs to match up to. Not the other way around.
azzpen
💜 💬 ✈️
35,962 likes
azzpen who cares about mcc anyway? i drew this picture of ludwig. that's all i need.
view all 5,893 comments
username1 first gamer girl i've watched that actually hardcore games
↳ azzpen but......pokimane :,(
username2 i supported you until you fucked over your friend so you could be part of the dream team
↳ username3 sameee i can't stan someone who would do something like that to their friend
↳ username2 azzpen is gonna get cancelled ngl
ludwigahgren nice drawing
↳azzpen ddid you see lludwig that i fframed it
georgenotfound we should have won
↳azzpen boohoo cracker
sapnap we should have won
↳ azzpen boohoo cracker
dreamwastaken start up jocelyn flores haha loser
↳ azzpen i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you
...
The next morning, I wake up to several compilations of 'Azzpen, Gamer Girl, Big IQ Moments' in my recommended.
Well, at least there's that.