Camila POV
Mr. Jauregui talked me into go back to school instead of waiting around to see Lauren all day. I finally agreed after hours of begging and tear, now here I was sitting in Chemistry bored out of my mind and wanting to know how Lauren was doing. Although something else that filled my mind was me and Chris's almost kiss. I can't believe I'd provoke him to fucking kiss me. I'm such an idiot. I don't want to avoid him considering we are both the only thing each others got right now considering our best friend is hospitalized, but I feel like we should talk it out. He reminds me of Lauren so much maybe that's why I felt the spark. In that moment of course. How the hell would Lauren feel if she knew I kissed her little brother. God, what the fuck...the bell rang pulling me from my thoughts. I walked out into the hall and sighed. Thank God it was lunch time. I made my way to lunch and smiled at the smell of Pizza.
"Pizza day huh?" I jumped at the voice. I turned around and met the forest green eyes.
"Yeah.. Pizza day. Chris can you not sneak up on me like that. It makes me jumpy and paranoid." I said looking at him and walking into the lunch line.
"Sorry, I...do you think things are awkward because.."
"No I don't Chris." I replied shaking my head.
"Yeah, yeah same I don't...I don't either." He grabbed a tray and got his pizza. This kid...wow. Total dork around girls, just like Lauren around me.
"Want to sit together? I mean I'm not saying we have to it's just I....don't know what I'm saying. God ok let me just cut to it. Yesterday...be honest...did you feel anything?" He asked searching my eyes.
"Would it be wierd if I said yes. Look its because you remind of Lauren. Chris, I hate to break it to you but me and you can just only be friends. Come one how would Lauren feel if she found out you robbed her craddle and took me from her." I said softly as we walked to a table.
"She'd probably hate me. Camila, I can't take you from Lauren. It's a brother sister code." Chris mumbled sighing.
"Why'd you sigh?" I asked biting into my pizza. I tried to swallow my moan because it was so good!
"I guess I kind of like you and I know that we can't be a thing. I guess it's because you're the first girl that hasn't treated me like shit because of Lauren." He confessed shrugging and looking away.
"What do you mean because of Lauren?"
"Well alot of people like Lauren because of her...you know dick. I've always been a second choice when it comes to girls Lauren hooked up with in the past or liked or what ever and then when they see my...dick, they compare and say I'm "too small" I mean so want Lauren is 7 1/2 inches. Im at least 6." Chris shrugged.
"Why compare whats in the pants? Shouldn't it matter about whats in here, and here?" I asked pointing to my chest and head. "I mean if I knew both of you before me and Lauren started dating, and I had to choose because of what I knew about you or how you acted I'd choose you because you weren't some player. Yeah you're popular because of Lauren and all but you're a sweet guy. I mean I brought all that out in Lauren. Yeah she has her anger problems and dumped me for it, technically me and Lauren aren't together right now, she never asked to take me back. At Ally's party she told everyone she loved me, made a big scene then told me to my face she couldn't be with me. I mean I guess when she chased after me and had her heart attack she was going to ask for me back but she didn't have the chance. She kept telling me to move on, and I just couldn't. I don't think I can." I sighed and looked down. I felt tears well up in my eyes and I looked up and tried blinking them away.
"Hey no...don't cry. Lauren's just confused. She doesn't know what she wants at times. Honestly try living with her for 16 years. You two will be fine. Trust me." Chris said looking at me.
"Why are you Jauregui's so perfect with words!" I chuckled softly.
"It runs in the family?" I rolled my eyes and laughed at him.
---
"Heard you started therapy." I said looking at Lauren who sat up in her sweats.
"Yup and I fucking hate it." She mumbled not looking at me. "Why are you still here?" She asked staring at the wall.
"What...what do you mean why am I still here?"
"Why'd you stick around. I mean I heard the other girls came to see me on the day of my surgery but I haven't heard from anyone yet. Yet you're still here...why?" She asked finally meeting my eyes.
"Well I care about you. That's one reason....I love you. I've always been there for you." I sighed knowing exactly where this is going.
"Why do you still care when I can't even care about you the same way. I'm trapped Camila. I can't love you the way I want to anymore. I can't do shit anymore because I'm the one who fucked up my own life by laying off my surgery for years. Now I'm sitting here with a new fucking heart and who knows if it will still work. I could die and you are willing to stick around. And I hate it." Lauren, she glanced at me. "I hate that about you. You're letting me tie you down when you could be living your life. But no. You're here. Missing multiple days of school because of me. I might break hearts but I don't ruin people's lives. So please for the love of all things holy. Go. Move on. Forget me. Fuck someone else. Kiss another person. By all means kiss Mahone what ever just don't let me, let this tie you down. It'd make me so much happier."
"I don't know what kind of meds they put you on but you're acting like a bitch." I spat back.
"I don't want to hear it Camila. Just please leave. I don't need a lap dog and that's all you're being right now. My fucking lap dog." Lauren groaned looking at me. Her glare softened when she noticed the tears in my eyes.
"Just say it.....just said it. Say the four words. . Just say it." I said softly wiping my eyes. Lauren sighed and looked at me.
"I...I don't....I don't love you....not like I used to. I just can't. I'm sorry Camila." Lauren mumbled.
"No...don't be sorry about this. Be sorry for yourself. You don't know what you want in life Lauren. I've put up with all you're shit all this shit because I love you. I'm in love with you. What was I just some...some distraction from your life?" I asked a little too harsh.
"Sure." Lauren mumbled.
"Sure? That's it. Sure? Don't forget we almost had a child. Almost! Hope you're happy with your life at this point Lauren." I grabbed my bag and headed towards the door. I waited for her to tell me to stop. Once I didn't hear it I sighed and left.
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Lauren's POV
"It's Camila leave a message after the beep."
"Fuck!" I groaned throwing my phone on the hospital bed and looking out the window.
"8 times. 8 times I called today." I groaned looking at my dad.
"From what you told me you really hurt her. Just leave her be. Let her move on. Just get better at this point." He said glancing up from a hot rod magazine.
Time passed. I finished my therapy for today and I was now sitting in my room alone. I grabbed my phone and opened my text. Mandy text me asking how I was. I sighed. She won't even come in. There was a knock on my door and my brother walked in.
"Hey Ch-"
"Shut up...what the hell is wrong with you?" He asked me. I could see the tiredness seeping from his eyes but also anger.
"What are you talking about?" I asked looking at him.
"Camila. She came crying to me yesterday about what you said. You really fucked up this time...why are you so confused on what you want with her Lauren?" Chris asked looking at me.
"Maybe because I don't want anything anymore. At this point I just want to give up, I don't care anymore Chris. I've never been suicidal but now...now it's like a sixth sense. Every time a nurse comes in with my medicine I feel the urge to ask for extra so she won't have to come back but I'd take them a at once and hope to OD. Chris I've never hated myself before but now I can't stand to look in the mirror. I've never thought about self harm but now I think about it every day. Chris I really hate living right now so you coming in here yelling at me over some girl who I lost because of my own actions is not helping at all. So please, leave." I sighed looking at him and letting tears fall down my face.
"Sorry Lauren. I didn't know you felt like this..." Chris mumbled looking at me.
"No one does. Look Chris I know you like Camila...by all means take her. Treat her right though." I replied looking in his direction.
"I can't do that."
"I know you feel like you can't but you can. I want you to."
"Uh....Alright...." Chris nodded and looked down. I hugged him before he left.
"I hate this..."
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😏 next chapter a filler.
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